


Be My Guest

by aLoggedInReader



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Disney References, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance, Season 4 AU, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:06:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 111,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aLoggedInReader/pseuds/aLoggedInReader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is done watching Sam self-destruct over his brother's stupid deal and subsequent death. The rash decision he makes to put a stop to the human's madness has unforeseen consequences for both of them. Season 4 AU, rated M for eventual mature content</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**1 Prologue**

 

Gabriel wasn’t stalking the younger Winchester. No really, he wasn’t.

He hadn’t paid attention to the man at all for about three months. However, after Dean’s time had run out and the hellhounds had shown up to collect his contractual debt Gabriel had taken the liberty to check in on Sam to see if the human had learned anything from the lesson he had tried to teach him during that endless Tuesday, after all.

Hey, the younger Winchester wasn’t the only one who would never be able to listen to Asia’s ‘Heat of the moment’ again and the archangel really wanted to know if he had ruined one of the great classic rock songs for himself for nothing.

At first, he was even somewhat satisfied with what he saw. Sam was definitely mourning – and drinking himself silly – but that had to be expected. He had only just lost his brother – torn to shreds by hellhounds in front of his very eyes – after all.

The archangel watched as the younger Winchester buried Dean’s body which might count as a good sign, even if he insisted that the body couldn’t be burned, because his brother would need it once he returned. Well, at least Sam didn’t keep Dean lying around to rot like his brother had done with him one year earlier, so that might even speak for a very small level of acceptance of the fact that his brother might actually be gone forever.

At that point, Gabriel thought that maybe the inevitable was evitable, after all. Maybe Sam had learned his lesson and would go on living his life in a way that might even take a turn for the better. Well, knowing the Winchesters’ luck – not to say destiny – that was more than unlikely, but he might at least not take the entire world down with him. That was something the archangel would be satisfied with.

But then the younger Winchester just had to go and start to fuck everything up.

When he went and tried to make a deal with a demon to get his brother back in exchange for his own life Gabriel felt the first stir of irritation. In the end, he was sure that the demon wouldn’t go for it and he was right, but it was the first sign that Sam might be more than willing to go down a very dangerous road and that was bad enough.

The following weeks the archangel watched with growing unease as Sam threw himself from one hunt to the next. His brother hadn’t even been dead for a month when he wiped out a vampire nest all on his own, looking like a – probably rather big – part of him hoped to die on the mission as quickly as possible.

When the younger Winchester broke off all ties to Bobby Singer and started to obsess not over the hunt in general but Lilith specifically, Gabriel was dangerously close to pulling his own hair in frustration. The human was doing exactly what he hadn’t been meant to do! He was screwing everything up, including himself!

The demon called Ruby tried to make contact to Sam about two months after his older brother’s demise. To his credit, the younger Winchester sent her away, but it was easy enough to see that her words about how he was too weak to revenge his brother without her help had left a deep impression with him. The archangel had a low enough opinion of the human at that point to be sure that it was only a matter of time until he fell for the lies she was spinning and got dragged into things he couldn’t possibly understand.

And so – about three months after Dean’s death – Gabriel got to watch as Sam found a lead to one of Lilith’s underlings and didn’t even check all the facts before he packed his things and headed to the old warehouse.

The archangel honestly considered just zapping himself to Italy for a nice glass of red wine and a Tiramisu instead of witnessing the drama unfold, but a part of him seemed to be completely unwilling to leave and so he just stuck around while the younger Winchester entered the building and walked right into the trap the demons had set for him.

Morbid fascination was probably the best term to describe how Gabriel felt as he watched the three demons beating Sam to a bloody pulp. His right arm had long since been broken and a couple of bones in his right hand had been crushed under the shoe of one of the demons for all the archangel could tell. He didn’t even bother keeping count of all sorts of cuts and bruises that were inflicted on the human who wasn’t even fighting back anymore.

Three of the younger Winchester’s ribs had been broken as well before Gabriel finally snapped.

Oh, it wasn’t the cruelty of what those demons were doing to the human. The archangel had seen worse. Hell, he had done worse to people he thought deserved it and to be quite honest he thought that Sam deserved quite a lot that very moment. He didn’t deserve to die, however. He didn’t deserve to get to take the easy way out that he apparently thought dying would give him! The human wasn’t going to die, because Gabriel was mad at him and seeing him die wouldn’t do anything against that feeling and the archangel couldn’t have that!

The demons never even knew what hit them before they all fell to the floor, dead.

The younger Winchester’s eyes were turned toward the ceiling, but he didn’t seem to be in a condition where he could take anything that was happening around him in anymore. There was a deep cut close to his hairline, but other than that the demons seemed to have left his face alone, surprisingly. Blood was seeping into the human’s hair and his fingers twitched a little every now and then.

Gabriel took all those details in with a rather detached expression before he crouched down next to Sam, putting one hand on the tall human’s shoulder. The younger Winchester’s lips moved as if he was trying to form words, but no sounds ever made it out of his mouth.

The archangel didn’t really care what the human would have had to say, anyway.

They both disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving no signs that either one of them had ever been in the warehouse behind.

 

* * *

 

 

The tall human leaned into the soft touch against his forehead instinctively.

It took a few more moments before he became aware of anything other than the rather nice feeling of the palm that was pressed against the side of his head now. When reality began to seriously bleed through the darkness that had surrounded his mind he immediately wished to go back to the comfortable unconsciousness he had been trapped in before, though.

“Look who finally decided to drop the sleeping beauty act,” a rather mocking voice greeted him before he had even opened his eyes, “Welcome back to the land of the living, Sam.”

Opening his eyes shouldn’t have been as strenuous as it was, but when he managed he shut them again, immediately. There had been a dull ache in his head before, but it flared up to intense pain because of the far too bright light.

The other man gave a long suffering groan and moved away to shut the blinds before he threw a random piece of fabric over the bedside lamp and turned it on. It was a safe bet that the direct light of the lamp wouldn’t have agreed with Sam, but being completely in the dark didn’t sound too appealing, either.

Sure, Gabriel could have spared himself from that sort of trouble, if he had just healed the human’s injuries, but he had decided against that very early on. He had made sure that there was nothing life-threatening left, though.

“Where am I?” Sam asked in a pained voice after he had opened his eyes again and had taken his surroundings in as much as he could. He felt like all his senses and especially his ability to put coherent thoughts together had been dulled by some sort of drugs. The way his entire body hurt despite this told him that he really needed the medication, though.

“Disney land,” Gabriel answered casually, popping a piece of candy into his mouth while he watched the tall human trying and failing to piece everything that had happened together. The archangel nearly felt sorry for the younger Winchester. All his attempts to make sense of any of this would fail. Gabriel had made sure of that.

“Who are you?” Sam asked, clearly irritated by the stupid answer he had gotten before. Getting upset wasn’t doing anything good for his splitting headache and his general wellbeing and the jerk was provoking him!

“I’m hurt,” Gabriel sighed, sounding like he meant it, “After the hundreds of days we had breakfast together and I bet you don’t even remember how our eyes first met at that college…”

It took a second before the possible meaning of the words registered with the younger Winchester, but when they did his eyes widened comically.

“What?” he asked, trying to move in a hurry to put some more space between himself and the guy who was just implying things that just felt completely wrong to him. He fell back into the pillows grimacing in pain, breathing harshly in a futile attempt to relax and let it pass just a moment later, however.

“Jesus, Sasquatch,” Gabriel nearly yelled in surprise, “I was kidding! We’re just roomies, okay?”

The new information didn’t ring any bells with Sam either, but he was a little preoccupied breathing through the pain and trying to calm his hammering heart, after all. The younger Winchester swallowed heavily and gave a slight nod. It could have been worse. He actually could have had some sort of romantic ties to the jerk!

“Alright, time to knock you out again,” Gabriel announced out of the blue, taking a pill out of one of the bottles that stood on the bedside table. Most of the bottles held actual pain medication, even though the archangel intended to tweak the effects a little whenever he felt it was needed.

“Do you really want to stay awake like this? You’ll have enough pain to deal with when you wake up again, no worries,” he added sarcastically before Sam could actually protest against taking his medicine.

The human sighed defeated, swallowing the pill that was handed to him and accepted the glass of water Gabriel brought to his lips afterward. He had to admit that he was aching all over and simply too confused to make sense of anything that was happening, anyway. His annoying, little roommate might be right, as far as that was concerned.

“Try to remember where you are and who I am next time you come around,” Gabriel stated in a definitely mocking voice again.

Sam really didn’t know how he had ever ended up sharing a home with him, but he knew that the guy was annoying beyond belief and that was probably only the tip of the iceberg. Maybe he should try not to wake up again…

“Disney land,” the younger Winchester shot back before the effects of the drugs he had just taken could fully kick in, “And you’re a jerk.”

Gabriel grinned to himself. If Sam continued to be amusing like that he might even be able to make up for all the annoyance he had caused. The way the archangel had planned for this to go they would have a lot of time to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

 

When Sam woke up again the feeling that he had been hit by a bus was stronger than ever before, but at least his mind seemed less fuzzy and he found himself able to actually assess the damage done to his body.

He really must have been out of it before, because he hadn’t even realized that his right arm was in a cast from the elbow downward and three of his fingers were held immobile by splints, as well. The fact that it hurt like a bitch even without any movement was a good indication that there were several broken bones involved.

Other than that, a careful examination of his head with his left hand told Sam that he had a rather large bandage just under his hairline. No big surprise there, his head hurt just about as bad as his arm, after all.

Last but not least the wide and rather tight bandage around his upper body spoke for at least one fractured rib and the dull pain in his left knee indicated that there was some sort of injury there, too

Well great. Where was that jerk that had been here before when you needed him to answer a few questions? Not that Sam was exactly keen on asking the guy anything after the stupid answers he had gotten the last time.

The younger Winchester threw the comforter completely off his body, noticing that he was wearing grey sweatpants and began to struggle to set both his feet to the ground. He wasn’t going to lie there and wait for something to happen. He needed to get out of the stupid bed and find some answers to a couple of very important questions that were going through his head.

He still didn’t know where the hell he was, though it seemed like a safe guess that the bedroom he was in might be part of a cabin. The wooden walls gave that away, at least.

Actually, listing the things he knew would be much simpler, at this point. He knew that his name was most likely Sam – the jerk had called him that and it had sounded familiar to him – that he had gotten severely injured somehow and that his so called roommate was a total jerk.

Yeah, the list of things he didn’t know was positively endless, including very basic facts about himself. Hell, Sam hadn’t even known that his hair was brown until a strand of it fell over his eyes when he slumped forward slightly. Not much of a great idea with a bandaged chest and broken ribs, by the way.

He only noticed the piece of paper on the bedside table when he moved to stand up after steeling himself against the pain that would undoubtedly cause him. Surprisingly enough the dull ache in his knee didn’t get that much worse by standing up which was something he supposed he should be grateful for.

_Gone to get some groceries, try not to kill yourself! – Jerk_

Great, the guy couldn’t even sign with his real name which still was a piece of information that Sam thought wouldn’t be too much to ask for. Well, at least his roommate acknowledged that he was an idiot.

The younger Winchester sighed and looked around himself for a few moments before he made a decision. He could check the room for clues about his identity later, he’d go and take a look at the rest of the cabin and find a mirror to finally know what he himself even looked like first.

The light on the short hallway was a lot brighter than the one in the room the tall man had woken up in and he had to blink rapidly and squint for a few moments before he got used to it. At least, his head didn’t feel as if it would explode, if he didn’t get back to a darker spot soon.

It might help that all the muscles and bones in his body were protesting against being upright and walking around, so that probably distracted him a little from the headache, too.

His suspicion about being in a cabin seemed to be confirmed by a quick look out of the window on the hallway he stood in. There were only trees as far as he could see and while the scenery looked very peaceful it gave Sam the creeps, as well. He didn’t know what exactly it was that fueled the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it was undeniably there.

He forced his gaze away from the window and crossed the short distance to the door across from the one he had come out of. It turned out that the bathroom was hidden behind it. Jackpot!

Sam walked up to the sink and took a breath as deep as the bandage around his chest and his broken bones would let him before he raised his gaze to the mirror. The man looking back at him had greenish brown eyes, medium length brown hair and some stubble from however long he had spent in that bed without shaving. Something gave Sam the feeling that he usually was clean shaven, anyway.

Other than that there was the big white bandage taped to his forehead and while he felt tempted to pull it off to see what damage had been done to him exactly he also knew that that was a spectacularly stupid idea. He looked like hell warmed over, anyway. No need to make things even worse by opening any possible wounds that might be hidden underneath the bandage.

Sam would have liked to do something about the bed-breath he just knew he had to have and about the stubble, but as little as he wanted to think of that he would need help for these things. Well, he could have brushed his teeth with his left hand, but he had no idea which of the things that were lying around even were his.

The younger Winchester sighed defeated and limped back to his bedroom. He pulled the curtains away from the windows, ignoring that his entire body begged him to just get back into a lying position as he started to look at the few things that were sitting on the shelves on the wall.

It looked like he had a thing for science-fiction and fantasy books which – admittedly – surprised him a little. As he looked at the titles of the books more closely he realized that he must have read at least a few of them, because he could remember what they were about. Other titles just seemed familiar enough, so he figured he had heard of them before.

The mostly law related textbooks didn’t seem to fit in at first, but they gave off the same feeling of familiarity as the other books had, so Sam didn’t question it too much.

When he turned to examine the rest of the room his eyes were immediately drawn to the dresser and the objects that lay on top of it. Finally something that might really give him some valuable information!

The wallet looked worn and didn’t have much in it, but the one thing Sam had hoped for was there. He retrieved the ID with trembling fingers and swallowed hard when he read his entire name for the first time. Samuel Winchester, born on the second of May 1983. That was something that was really good to know. The name felt right, but other than that vague feeling it didn’t trigger any reaction in him. Well, it had been highly unlikely that something like that would jog his memory and allow him to remember everything he seemed to have forgotten, in the first place.

At least he knew his name, his birthday, that his ID had been issued in Kansas and an address that might or might not be the one of this cabin now. Yeah, it wasn’t much, but it was a step forward from knowing nothing.

Sam really wanted to start going through the drawers and through the closet there was, but the sound of a door closing kept him from going through with the plan. Instead he completely ignored that his knee had really started to hurt from standing and walking around for too long and limped toward the noise his roommate was making. It took him nearly the entire way to the main room of the cabin that combined the kitchen, dining room and living room to realize that the man was whistling some upbeat tune.

“You shouldn’t be walking around like this,” the jerk commented casually, not even turning around, “Can’t feel too great with your injuries.”

Sam didn’t even get the chance to make a sarcastic reply before the shorter man turned around and ushered him toward the couch and forced him to sit down, though he was surprisingly gentle about it. He even put a cushion on the wooden couch table and made him rest his left leg in an elevated position.

The younger Winchester simply couldn’t make sense of the man. He talked like he didn’t care about Sam at all, wanted to annoy him even, but then he touched him like he was afraid to hurt him and just tried to help ease the pain. Things simply didn’t add up, but it didn’t look like his roommate wanted to talk this time around, either.

Instead the shorter male went back to put more groceries away and picked up his whistling again.

Sam yelped rather undignified when a pack of frozen peas suddenly landed in his lap. The archangel’s chuckling didn’t help with the growing frustration the tall human felt, either.

“Put ‘em on your knee,” Gabriel suggested while he stowed the last few things he had gotten away in the freezer, “And try to think of something we can eat for lunch that works with peas.”

The mention of eating made the younger Winchester’s stomach make itself known. He obviously couldn’t remember when he had last eaten, but it must have been a while and it was catching up with him. He thought about asking the other man for a piece of bread or something alike, but before he could have asked he already got a bagel handed to him and a glass of iced tea was put on the table next to his foot.

“I still don’t know your name,” Sam pointed out after a few moments of eating in silence.

The bag of frozen peas helped to reverse the aching in his knee to the dull pain he had felt before and the sitting position seemed to agree better with his other injuries, as well. All in all, he felt up to having a potentially frustrating talk with his roommate, that very moment.

“That’s too bad,” Gabriel replied teasingly and plopped down on the couch next to the younger Winchester, handing him the glass before he could move to reach for it himself. He wasn’t trying to cause him any additional pain, after all. Causing physical pain wasn’t what this was all about. Sam didn’t even know how lucky he was that the archangel had decided early on that he wouldn’t take that route, it definitely had been in the cards for a while.

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” the younger Winchester asked with the slightest hint of annoyance in his voice. He shouldn’t have to go fishing for information like this. It hardly seemed fair!

“Nope,” the archangel smirked, crossing his arms in front of his chest as a sign that he wasn’t going to discuss the matter with the other man, either. To tell the truth, he didn’t have a name he could have told him without it causing the one or the other problem for himself. Well, he could have lied and he was going to tell a lot of lies in the next few hours and days, but he didn’t want to make up some name. It was about the principle of the thing, really. Also, it seemed to get a rise out of the younger Winchester and he was all for that.

“Come on, I can’t just go on calling you _jerk_!” Sam insisted.

He really didn’t understand the other man. He had thought about giving him something against the pain, food and something to drink before he had ever asked for it, but he outright refused to just say his name and he seemed to enjoy annoying him by far too much.

“That wouldn’t be very nice, yeah,” Gabriel agreed with a slight nod. It wouldn’t bother him at all, but it wouldn’t be very nice, either.

“So?” the younger Winchester prompted again, but grew impatient when the shorter man made no move to contribute anything more to the conversation, “Know what? I’ll just call you Larry until you give me something else.”

Maybe he should have thought of a more ridiculous name, though. The threat of being called Larry for a longer or shorter span of time didn’t seem to faze the other man, at all.

“Alright, kiddo,” the archangel replied with a bright smile, “That’s fair enough.”

Yeah, Sam really couldn’t make sense of the man.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

 

As it turned out chicken worked with peas. Chicken worked with everything as far as Sam’s annoying roommate was concerned, but of course Larry had an intense craving for dessert, so he only ate cake while Sam struggled to eat peas with only his left hand in working order. He had to give the jerk credit for cutting the chicken into manageable pieces before he put the plate in front of him, but he lost points again for giving him a fork to eat the peas with.

“How did this happen?” the younger Winchester made another one of those questions that he thought were only reasonable, but that Larry just wouldn’t answer for some reason. Sam was starting to think that all this might have been some sort of fucked up ‘Misery’ situation and the guy was responsible for the state he was in right now, in the first place. He found it a little hard to believe that the short guy would have managed to overpower him this completely without getting banged up badly himself, though. Hey, he might not be in the condition to fight off a kitten right now, but he had seen the muscles on his arms and the sixpack he had and those spoke for some extensive training he must have done at some point in the not too distant past before all this had happened.

“I took the chicken out of the package and you were friendly enough to unfreeze the peas,” Gabriel replied with a smirk, putting another piece of cake into his mouth. He knew that he’d have to start to give better answers soon now, but he just didn’t want to stop pushing the younger Winchester closer to the point where he’d lose his temper yet. Knowing the human as well as he did after watching him for month, it seemed like a safe guess that it couldn’t take too long until he’d just snap.

“That’s not what I meant,” Sam replied in a rather calm tone, but the way he dropped the fork on the table and simply stared over to Gabriel said that he was everything but composed on the inside, “How did I get injured like this? Why am I not in a hospital? What the hell happened to me?”

Really, it just didn’t make sense! Fine, he was able to stand up and function enough to be released from hospital at this point, but he had woken up here and for all he knew he had never been in a hospital to begin with! Which brought him back to the theory about being the victim of an obsessive stalker who would force him to stay here until he changed the ending to his most recent book. The joke clearly was on Larry in that respect, though. He couldn’t change any endings to anything, if he didn’t even remember just how absurd it would be to assume that he really had written a book in the first place!

“Kiddo, I’d really like to know what you’re thinking right now. Looks like it’s something spectacularly insane!” Gabriel chuckled and Sam finally reached his breaking point.

The tall man got up from his chair much more quickly than he should have been able to, but the annoyance he had felt ever since he had first tried to speak to the jerk was bordering on rage now and that was enough to make him forget about his injuries, for the moment.

“How would you like it, if you woke up at a place you don’t know with a guy you don’t know and who refuses to tell you even the most basic facts, _Larry_?” Sam yelled, hitting the tabletop with his left hand hard enough to make his glass fall over, not that he gave a damn about that.

The archangel was about to give a completely calm but definitely infuriating reply when something he should have - but hadn’t - anticipated happened.

The younger Winchester dropped back into his chair, breathing hard and shuddering slightly. He looked more desperate than angry at that moment and it made him seem much more like a lost, frightened kid than the one of Azazel’s special children who was meant to lead the army of hell and eventually become Lucifer’s vessel. It was exactly the kind of look Gabriel had fallen for the last time they had seen each other and it was utterly unfair that somebody he actually still was sort of mad at could bring a look like that to perfection.

“You need to rest, Sam,” the archangel sighed and crossed the short distance between them to support the tall human on his way back to his bedroom, “I promise I’ll tell you something once you’re tucked in.”

The younger Winchester really seemed out of it, but that was hardly surprising. He was struggling with the situation he had been dumped in and a part of him he wasn’t even aware of was most likely fighting the barriers Gabriel had put up in his mind to make sure that he didn’t have access to his personal memories. Yes, the archangel could admit that in the end he was responsible for most of the troubles Sam was having, that very moment. However, he still felt completely justified in his actions.

“You made a couple very bad decisions lately,” the archangel explained once the younger Winchester was lying in bed again in a comfortable position, as comfortable as it would get, anyway.

The taller man sighed defeated, something he was doing much too often for his taste lately. He should have known that he would get something like this instead of any sort of explanation he would actually be able to work with. He felt too drained to protest against it, however.

“’S that why you’re so mad at me?” Sam asked instead, trying to get a good look at the other man’s first reaction to the question. He really thought that might tell him more than anything he would actually say.

“I’m not mad at you,” Gabriel replied in a very convincing tone, but the way he hadn’t been able to meet the taller man’s eyes when he had made his question said something else entirely.

“Yes, you are,” the younger Winchester argued, “You make all those annoying, mocking comments and you nearly had me thinking that you don’t like me at all, but you obviously do care and that makes me think that you’re just mad at me for something I did or said.”

The archangel shook his head exasperatedly. Trust Sam Winchester to overthink things, even under circumstances under which nobody could expect him to analyze anything much.

“I love your interpretation of my character,” Gabriel stated teasingly, “But you’ll spare yourself from a lot of sorrow, if you just accept that I am a jerk.”

They both knew it was a lie, but Sam had to accept that he wasn’t going to get anything more out of the other man, yet again.

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel had no reason to hang around the cabin when Sam wasn’t awake, but he had decided to stay and watch a movie while the human rested, anyway. Actually, he wasn’t watching the movie as much as he was using it for background noise while he very pointedly tried not to think about the talk he had had with the younger Winchester.

So, maybe he had fooled himself into believing that he only wanted to dish out his own personal brand of justice when he had abducted the human, even though he might have simply wanted to save him, too. Whatever, so he had had a second reason for his actions as well. It wasn’t like that changed anything!

The next time the human woke up he’d just feed him some lies and half-truths so he would have other things to occupy his mind with than trying to analyze the archangel. That sounded like a good idea.

Great, the stupid movie wasn’t doing its job, at all. Gabriel was still thinking about the younger Winchester – actually, as things were, the _only_ Winchester – by far too much!

So, maybe ‘Earnest goes to camp’ hadn’t been the best choice for a movie that was meant to capture his attention and distract him.

The archangel had just seriously started to consider finding a different movie, possibly of the sort that was for adults only and was guaranteed to stop him from thinking too much, when he heard Sam groan. It wasn’t the sort of groan that meant he was enjoying himself a little too much while Gabriel was only one room away, either.

The archangel didn’t even think of knocking before he rushed into the room and put his hands on either side of the human’s head, forcing him into a deep unconsciousness that finally stopped his body from convulsing uncontrollably. The shorter man let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding and ran the fingers of his right hand through the younger Winchester’s hair nearly tenderly.

The guy meant nothing but trouble, even when he was taking an afternoon nap!

Gabriel had to admit that this little episode had – once again - been his fault, though. He had seriously underestimated the fight the human’s subconscious mind would be able to put up against the blockades he had installed. The archangel really felt a little guilty about that misjudgment on his part, too. He had known that Sam had psychic abilities – even if he couldn’t access them, at the moment – so he should have figured that his mind didn’t work the same way a completely ordinary human’s would.

Gabriel put two fingers against the younger Winchester’s temple and strengthened the barriers he had put up a little more, keeping the connection he had made to the human’s mind open for another while to see what would happen. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice here!

The archangel wasn’t surprised when he felt a push against his consciousness as Sam’s mind tried to force him to leave and take the walls he had built with him. Not that the younger Winchester stood a chance against him ultimately.

When Gabriel had finished modifying the barriers he removed his fingers from the human’s skin. The rather intense urge to touch again was completely normal after breaking the sort of connection they had shared just moments before, so the archangel didn’t attach any more meaning to it. He didn’t give in and just continued to look at the unconscious man’s face, though. He should wake up again sooner rather than later and there was always the chance that there would be something that needed to be sorted out when that happened.

Sam’s eyes fluttered open a few moments later. The human looked dazed and confused, but he seemed to be alright otherwise. Until he tried to take a deep breath and panicked when the bandage around his chest wouldn’t let him.

Damn, this just wasn’t a good day for both of them!

“Sam, listen to me,” Gabriel demanded, allowing just a hint of the angelic authority he usually kept stowed away tightly to bleed through, “I will loosen that bandage now to let you breathe better, but it will hurt.”

The bandages were meant to keep the human’s broken ribs from moving and causing pain, but they restricted his ability to breathe and that seemed to make him feel really uncomfortable, as things were. The archangel loosened the bandages with quick fingers and slightly winced in sympathy when Sam grimaced, breathing harshly but not exactly deeply and for sure not calmly.

Gabriel knew that he could just stop all this with one snap of his fingers. He had every possibility to give the younger Winchester full access to his memories back, heal his injuries and drop him off at a random motel room without any knowledge of what had happened between those demons beating him up and waking up there. Hell, if he felt like being nice he could even make sure that he didn’t remember those demons and woke up to think he was on a completely different hunt.

As much as Gabriel tried to tell himself that he wasn’t doing any of this, because the hunter would surely go back to his quest for revenge that would eventually doom him and everyone else, the truth was that he was invested in this game now and it had only just started to get really interesting. If he was being completely honest, he would have to add that he had started to like having the human around and he just wanted to keep him for another while.

“Deep breaths,” the archangel instructed, putting his palm onto Sam’s chest without putting any pressure on it, though. He also ran the fingers of his free hand through the younger Winchester’s hair slowly and soothingly again, hoping to help the other man calm down and focus with it.

It was quite fascinating to watch how the tall human became gradually more aware of his surroundings. He fixed his eyes on Gabriel’s as he struggled to even his breathing out for another few moments, but when he finally managed both men were rather relieved.

“Larry,” Sam breathed with a tiny smile. He didn’t really know what had caused any of this newest episode, but he sure was glad that it was over and he felt insanely grateful that the shorter man had been with him.

“You really are nothing but trouble, Sasquatch,” Gabriel joked. He had stopped petting the younger Winchester’s hair as soon as the human had pulled himself together, but he let his palm linger against his naked chest for another little while.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

 

“Try to lift your arms a little higher,” Gabriel instructed, trying to pull the clean t-shirt over the younger Winchester’s head without hurting him which wasn’t quite that easy.

Sam bit the inside of his cheek when the movement sent a jolt of pain through him. He wasn’t even quite sure if his arm or his ribs were protesting more, but it didn’t really matter, anyway.

Of course, the human had to be stubborn and insisted that he couldn’t run around shirtless even longer. The archangel had suggested a bathrobe, but apparently the human really had put it into his head to be as unreasonable as possible.

Gabriel didn’t exactly see who he would need to put on a t-shirt for, in the first place. It wasn’t like there was anyone around who might be bothered by any state of undress the younger Winchester might be in. It sure as hell didn’t bother the archangel.

“Uhm… do you think...?” the taller man started a question, running the fingers of his left hand through his still damp hair. He had managed to brush his teeth and take a shower earlier. It hadn’t been that easy, but he felt better and definitely cleaner now and that alone had been worth it.

“Generally, yeah,” Gabriel answered with a smirk when the question was left standing unfinished for a few moments. If the other man wasn’t going to give him any more information, he’d have to assume that the question had been complete, already.

“Ha ha,” Sam snorted, giving his roommate one of his best bitchfaces, “Forget it, okay? I just thought maybe you could help me shave, but it was a stupid idea.”

He really wasn’t too eager to attempt that with his left arm only, but he wasn’t going to beg for help when Larry insisted to be a jerk about it, either.

“Come on, Sasquatch. Don’t be so touchy all the time!” the archangel quickly replied, putting his hands on the human’s shoulders to keep him sitting on the closed toilet lid while he went to collect the supplies they would need. Of course, if you gave the younger Winchester an inch, he’d try to take a mile instead.

“What do I do for a living?” Sam asked when his roommate came back with a razor and shaving cream, “Please Larry, give me something. I just want to know some basics about myself!”

The younger Winchester didn’t actually think that asking would get him anywhere at this point, but he couldn’t simply give up on it, either. He still couldn’t make sense of his situation and it was bothering him more with every passing hour! Actually, the better he felt the more he was dissatisfied by his lack of information. He was pretty sure that he would have tackled the shorter man to the ground and forced him to finally talk, if he hadn’t been injured, already.

Gabriel spread the shaving cream over the lower half of the human’s face without saying anything, but when he reached for the razor he seemed to change his opinion. In fact, he had decided that he was going to give some information to Sam a while ago, already. He had only waited for a good moment.

“You used to work for your family’s business,” the archangel said, angling the younger Winchester’s face so he could start with the task at hand. Of course, the taller man just couldn’t keep quiet, but Gabriel didn’t even let him get a word out before he interrupted, “Nu-uh, you don’t talk while I’m using sharp objects in your face!”

Sam sighed but nodded slightly when the shorter man dared him to object with a look. He tried to relax which was surprisingly easy with the gentle touches and the sure way his roommate handled the razor.

“You guys were into personal security for all I know,” Gabriel spoke on calmly as he slowly worked on ridding the younger Winchester’s face of the beard stubble, “You never liked it too much, but hey family business, right?”

Sam was dying to ask questions, but the other man had made a rather good point about sharp objects before and he knew that he would stop speaking the moment the younger Winchester stopped playing by the rules he had set.

“Atta boy,” Gabriel praised Sam for his silence in a teasing tone and ruffled the human’s hair for a moment after he had finished with one side of his face, “The two of us met at the college I was working at the time when one of your cases led you there, too. We met again last year and didn’t lose contact after that and when you needed a roommate I jumped at the occasion.”

The archangel met the younger Winchester’s eyes for a moment before he finished his work and reached for the towel he had laid over his shoulder earlier to get rid of the excess shaving cream and take a look at the product of his labor. He ran his thumb over Sam’s cheek and nodded slightly, satisfied with the smoothness. He could have made a career as a barber any time, but of course trickster and pagan god were much more appealing jobs. He wouldn’t mind doing this for the younger Winchester again, though.

“Where is my family?” Sam wanted to know once Gabriel stepped back to let him stand up again. He had been starving for any sort of information and now that he had actually gotten bits and pieces he still needed more. Actually, he needed some more context to the information he had received now more than ever.

The archangel swallowed and didn’t quite meet the other man’s eyes. The reaction didn’t come spontaneously, he had played this scenario through in his mind long before they had started this talk and he had prepared the answers he was going to give and the appropriately sad looks, but he hadn’t known that he would actually feel rather bad about saying what he did next.

“Your mother died when you were still a baby and your father made a rash and really bad decision on the job just over two years ago. He didn’t make it out alive,” Gabriel answered way more directly than Sam would have expected.

The younger Winchester couldn’t say that he liked the information he had gotten, but he was on some level grateful for just being told how things were. The full impact of the shorter man’s words had not hit him yet, however.

“You lost your brother to similar circumstances about three months ago,” Gabriel added with a sigh, “There is nobody else.”

Sam nodded dumbly. Of course, it wasn’t every day that you learned that your entire family was dead, but the deep seated ache in his heart still took the younger Winchester by surprise. He couldn’t even remember anything about the people the other man had just spoken about, but he still felt like crying and curling into a tiny ball until the feeling went away.

“Sam?” the archangel asked worriedly, gently touching the other man’s hand to get his attention, “Are you okay, kiddo?”

In some ways the completely lost expression on the younger Winchester’s face was worse than the outright crying and begging he had done back at that mystery spot. Somehow, Gabriel found himself wishing that he had made a different decision and had trapped the man in an alternate reality where he still had his family and was happy with them instead. Or possibly another reality in which he remembered everything and would just be that dark and angry version of himself that he had been in his actual life. It would have been much easier to kick back and enjoy watching the human run in circles or tear himself apart that way.

“No. No, I’m not,” Sam mumbled, looking at the floor rather than back at the man standing in front of him, “I need some time.”

The archangel didn’t do anything to stop him from going back to his room. Yes, the human probably really needed the chance to pull himself together and sort things out for himself before he would be ready to face his present situation again.

To tell the truth, Gabriel needed some time for himself, too. He hadn’t expected things to go the way they had progressed ever since he had brought Sam to this place. It had been rather easy to forget what a sensitive person the younger Winchester was, if you took away the guilt, desperation and anger he had built up over time and especially ever since his brother had made that deal with the demon. It was exactly that nearly vulnerable and rather sweet side that Gabriel had to admit he was a sucker for, though.

He could have let Sam suffer in the time loop and the resulting alternate reality he had trapped him in for a few more months or years, hell an eternity even. However, the moment the younger Winchester had dropped the anger and aggression and had simply begged to get his brother back, showing all the emotions that were behind the walls years of hunter’s training and having an emotionally stunted brother had taught him to build, Gabriel hadn’t been able to say no, even if he had wanted to.

It looked like the amnesiac Sam he had created didn’t even have those walls to begin with. Knowing his luck the archangel should have figured that that would happen.

 

* * *

 

 

The younger Winchester woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and slightly panicky again. He only remembered single pictures of his dreams, but they were enough to make him shudder and try to curl in on himself, but a cool hand on his shoulder kept him from moving before the pain that would have resulted from the movement could remind him not to do anything alike.

“I’m starting to think that you’re some creepy stalker,” Sam rasped, startled by his own hoarse voice. He had tried to make a stupid joke, but the way he sounded made it appear like an even more pitiful attempt than it had been, anyway.

“You were screaming like a little girl,” Gabriel explained in a mocking tone that was in stark contrast to the way he was brushing some strands of hair away from the taller man’s sweaty forehead.

The younger Winchester had in fact been shouting and once more the archangel had to admit that he was responsible for it, but he had a very rational explanation for why he had done it again, as well. He had allowed Sam’s subconscious mind some access to the hidden memories, so it would stop fighting against the walls the archangel had put up. The other option had caused too many problems and the only drawback of the new modifications he had made was that the younger Winchester would have bad dreams quite frequently. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than the alternative.

“’M sorry,” Sam whispered, clearly embarrassed that he had disturbed the other man like that, even if he hadn’t had any sort of control over the situation at the time. Apparently, his dreams had been even more intense than he had realized.

What he remembered most clearly was fire. He didn’t know what the dream had actually been about, but he knew that there had been fire and he had been terrified. In fact, he hadn’t only been terrified there had been desperation and sadness, as well. The harder he tried to remember the details of the dream the hazier his memory got, however.

“It’s okay, Sasquatch,” Gabriel stated sincerely this time. He allowed his fingers to linger at the side of the younger Winchester’s head for a few more moments when the man didn’t show any signs of being uncomfortable with the touch.

“Why are you doing all this for me all the time?” the younger Winchester sighed, trying to relax back into the pillows.

The archangel just chuckled. He wasn’t going to let Sam know what he thought was so funny about the question, though. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed and looked back at the human with a small smile.

“I’m not mad at you and I don’t think I’ve ever been, Sam,” Gabriel stated honestly, answering a question the other man had asked hours ago, “I thought I was, but as it turns out I was… disappointed.”

The younger Winchester wanted to say something to that confession, but the shorter man put two fingers over his lips to keep him quiet. His roommate always more or less forbidding him to speak was getting old really fast, but at the same time he had to say that he didn’t mind the almost tender touches. Hell, he sure preferred them to the sarcastic or mocking remarks he got more often than not.

“Don’t ask, I won’t answer, anyway,” Gabriel smirked slightly, “Try to sleep, you need the rest.”

Sam sighed deeply, but he knew that he wasn’t going to get anything more out of his roommate and if he kept trying the other man would only grow frustrated with him. The tall human had a feeling like he wouldn’t care about that too much usually, but he knew that his life would be a whole lot more complicated, if Larry stopped helping him the way he had that day. He vowed that he would keep asking questions whenever he thought that he could get away with it, however.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

 

The painkillers his roommate kept giving to Sam were effective for sure, but they also made the younger Winchester very sleepy. He was quite sure that Larry was all too willing to give them to him at the first sign of pain partly due to that effect. He hadn’t been able to ask many questions in the very pliant and slightly stoned state he had been in during the past two days, after all.

As soon as Sam had realized what was going on, which had admittedly taken quite some time, he had refused to keep swallowing any pills, so the next time he woke up he definitely felt his broken bones again. At the same time, his mind was clearer and the urge to learn more about himself returned with a vengeance, as well.

The younger Winchester finished applying the bandage that was meant to keep his knee from hurting like a bitch once he stood up and finally did what he had meant to do three days ago. First of all, he opened his closet to take a look at the part of his worldly possessions he hadn’t bothered checking out before. Yes, he had to admit that he had allowed his roommate to just hand him anything to wear the previous days. Now that he was thinking clearly again he realized that there might be other things in the closet that could give him hints about his past as well, though.

Sam wasn’t surprised to find that he apparently was a big fan of plaid shirts and jeans. Sure, he had worn sweat pants ever since he had woken up, but if someone had asked him to guess what his usual outfits looked like, he would have guessed that it involved jeans and casual shirts. He went on searching for possible hidden objects systematically and was a little disappointed when there was nothing. Then again, he couldn’t have known that having some sort of diary or photo album hidden between his clothes would come in handy before all this had happened.

The younger Winchester wasn’t ready to give up and go on relying on Larry for information just yet, however. He went as far as to leaf through the books on his shelves to see if there were any personal notes or something alike in them. He had marked passages here and there and there were a few written comments in the law textbooks, but he couldn’t find anything that would have told him something new about Sam Winchester.

Sitting back down on the bed with a heavy sigh, Sam nearly felt like hitting himself on the forehead – not a good idea with the wound that was still there – when his eyes fell on the bedside table. He tried not to get his hopes up when he opened the drawer. Chances were he just wasn’t the kind of guy who kept memorabilia of any important things in his life.

There only were two more books to be seen at the first sight. The one was clearly a bible and the other one was a biography about Mahatma Gandhi. Apparently, he had been reading the latter before he had lost his memories, because there was a bookmark sticking out of the middle of the book.

This once again didn’t tell Sam any vital details about himself and he still didn’t feel like he actually knew who he was, but it was a little something. He took the biography out of the drawer and opened it at the marked page only to get the surprise of the day. Instead of an ordinary bookmark there was a photo of himself and another man wedged between the pages.

The younger Winchester swallowed and carefully took the photograph out of the book to take a closer look. They both didn’t exactly look joyful, but there seemed to be companionable silence between them and the slightly shorter man had put his hand on Sam’s shoulder as they had posed for the picture. The photo wasn’t dated and there was nothing written on the back, but the younger Winchester got the feeling that he was looking at his deceased brother, anyway. He couldn’t exactly explain where the lump in his throat came from, but it was undeniably there. Hell, he couldn’t even remember his brother’s name, but he got choked up about seeing a picture of him, even though he had nothing but a vague feeling that told him that this was his brother at all.

Sam put the book aside and moved to place the photograph on his bedside table when his eyes fell on a formerly concealed object. He reached into the drawer with shaking fingers and grasped the leather band with a strange looking amulet.

The tears were falling before he even managed to get the necklace over his head.

 

* * *

 

 

“Dean,” Sam stated about half an hour later when he managed to pull himself together and walked to the kitchen area to talk to his roommate.

“Huh?” Gabriel asked ineloquently, even though he was pretty sure that he knew where this was going.

“My brother’s name was Dean,” the younger Winchester elaborated. He was completely sure that the name that had popped into his head moment after he had put the amulet around his neck was connected to his brother.

“Yeah,” the archangel simply replied. He knew that the other man expected more from him, but he would wait for clear questions before he said anything.

Gabriel wasn’t surprised that the older Winchester’s name had made it through the barriers he had put into Sam’s mind, however. He now knew that those two were much closer than he had thought they were when they had first met. It only made sense that his older brother’s name would be so deeply ingrained in the younger Winchester’s mind that it couldn’t be hidden away forever. Not to mention that Sam had obviously found the amulet and probably the picture Gabriel had left for him to see, so that would have pushed his brain to the very limit of the things he was able to remember.

“What happened to him?” the younger Winchester asked, his voice shaking slightly. He knew the end of the story already, but he felt like he needed to know the details, anyway. He couldn’t have explained it, but this seemed more important to him than anything else. It nearly felt like knowing that detail would hold the answer to everything else, too.

“Sam,” Gabriel tried to dodge that specific bullet, but of course the pigheaded Winchester wouldn’t let him get out of this as easily as that.

“Please,” Sam honest to God pleaded with the other man. He had to know this and the shorter man’s obvious discomfort with the question somehow only made him want to know more.

“It’ll do nothing but hurt you,” the archangel pointed out nearly sadly, because he already knew that the younger Winchester wouldn’t see his point. Gabriel didn’t really get it, either. If he had the possibility to forget everything that happened before he had become Loki, he would jump at the opportunity. Most of the time, he really wished that he couldn’t remember anything about his father and brothers.

“Please,” Sam repeated. Judged by his experiences from the last few days pleading with Larry worked pretty well. The younger Winchester didn’t enjoy doing it, but he wasn’t above doing it to get what he wanted, either.

Gabriel rubbed his forehead with his right hand and sighed deeply before he answered, “After your father died you and your brother kept the family business alive. Protecting people and the entire shebang. Dean…”

The archangel interrupted himself to look back at the younger Winchester who was hanging on every word he was saying. Well, he could barely back out now and the human had truly brought this one upon himself.

“Dean signed a contract he really shouldn’t have and when you two tried to get him out of it… let’s just say it didn’t work,” Gabriel spoke on, still carefully gauging the taller man’s reactions, “You saw him die.”

The picture of the man he had seen on the photograph earlier – his brother – being torn apart by some assailant the younger Winchester couldn’t actually see hit him so hard that he staggered backward until his back hit the wall. He didn’t hear his roommate calling his name, but when the shorter man touched his arm he flinched violently and ran for the front door before he even knew what he was doing.

“Sam, no!” Gabriel yelled, running after the human pretty much instantly. He really didn’t want the tall human to find out about the other restriction he had set for him this way and while he was already struggling with his emotions.

He didn’t catch up with the younger Winchester before he had already opened the door and taken three steps outside. After that it wasn’t much of a chase anymore, because Sam suddenly stopped, petrified.

The archangel grabbed the human’s left hand, noticing how he was basically shaking as a whole. It was rather hard to get the younger Winchester back inside, even though he wasn’t trying to resist or fight. In fact, he simply couldn’t get his limbs to cooperate. His heart was racing and he felt like the bandage around his chest was once more preventing him from breathing. At the same time he could barely feel his own body, though.

Sam only came back to himself very slowly when Gabriel sat him down on the couch, the human’s back to the archangel’s chest, rubbing soothing circles over his chest to encourage him to breathe more calmly and deeply again.

They sat in silence for a long while. The younger Winchester’s mind was mercifully mostly blank, but the shorter man’s thoughts were racing fast enough for both of them. He pushed everything else aside and focused on the thought that he should have gotten a dog as a pet instead, after a few moments. Gabriel simply wasn’t comfortable with going into greater detail on any of the other things that crossed his mind.

“You feeling better?” the archangel asked after the human had settled against his chest and was breathing regularly again. He still had to be out of it to lean against Gabriel as much as he did without feeling uncomfortable because of the contact, though.

Sam only nodded silently. He couldn’t explain what had just happened, but he knew that he never wanted to experience that again.

“I should have warned you,” Gabriel stated after a few more moments had passed, “You showed signs of PTSD and agoraphobia after your brother’s death and the doctors said that it was possible that your psyche would act up after you got attacked yourself.”

This was the first time there was no way around saying that he was lying. He had tried to stick as close to the truth as possible before, because it made remembering what he had told the human easier. Gabriel did everything he could to make himself believe that that was the only reason, anyway.

“So, now I’m afraid to even go outside?” Sam chuckled humorlessly, finally moving away from the other man. It made sense for all he knew about anxiety attacks and agoraphobia, though. “And that even though I don’t remember any of these things.”

Gabriel just shrugged noncommittally. The less he said about it the less he had to lie. Besides, with everything else that had happened the younger Winchester could surely figure out by himself that some part of him remembered everything that had happened. Not that that was the reason why he couldn’t go outside. That had made to do with the fact that the archangel simply didn’t want to give him the chance to run away or get seen by all the wrong people while being out in the open.

“Why did I get injured?” Sam asked in a quiet tone. Everything else was starting to make more and more sense. He still couldn’t quite figure out why any doctor would have left him in the care of Larry of all people, but there had to be a reason for that and the younger Winchester really didn’t care too much about the details. As far as that was concerned Larry wasn’t a half-bad caretaker – except for the parts where he obviously enjoyed annoying Sam a little too much – and seemed to know what he was doing. That was good enough for the younger Winchester.

“You went after the people who killed Dean,” the archangel answered honestly, “They were too much for you to handle.”

The younger Winchester might have felt like he was fine again – or at least close enough to fine – after his panic attack had passed, but now his head was spinning with the new information he had just heard.

“You were supposed to be better than that, Sam,” Gabriel added with a sigh, “You weren’t supposed to throw your own life and everything you ever believed in away just like that over something as petty as revenge. You were supposed to be smarter than that. I believed that you were, anyway. That’s why I was… disappointed with you.”

The taller man looked at his roommate with a small frown. He hadn’t expected him to say anything more to the topic and he surely hadn’t thought he would get an answer to a question he had asked a long time ago without being forced to ask it again.

“Are all your questions answered now?” the archangel smiled slightly, but with a hint of sadness that looked completely genuine but utterly out of place on Gabriel’s face.

The younger Winchester nodded dumbly and watched as the shorter man stood up and walked to the kitchen to prepare their lunch or something similar. He knew the answers to the most important questions he had had now. Sadly, it didn’t make him feel more whole, though. In fact, he felt emptier inside than he had before.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

 

The next two weeks went by very quickly.

Gabriel had to say that caring for a human basically 24/7 was a very demanding task. It had been ages since he had last spent this much quality time with a mortal, so a lot of things didn’t come as naturally to him as they might have.

The fact that Sam had pretty much given up asking questions after that disastrous afternoon that had brought him one panic attack that hadn’t even been over before the next had started was undoubtedly making the archangel’s life a little easier, though.

Actually, the younger Winchester was very pliant and subdued these days. He spoke very little and slept a lot, even though the nightmares of the life he couldn’t remember kept waking him up ever so often.

Most of the time the human could be found with a book, even though he didn’t seem to care about the things he was reading too much. The few times Gabriel had asked him what he was reading and how he liked it he had given rather short answers that might have applied to a million more books than the one he was supposedly reading.

The archangel had also noticed that Sam seemed to want to be close to him, but when he was he didn’t know what to do with the closeness. The younger Winchester would repeatedly open his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then he’d think better of it and just walk away again or resume staring at the book he probably wasn’t reading, after all.

All in all, Gabriel wasn’t content with the situation. He couldn’t deny that he liked having Sam around, especially when he got a glimpse of a smile or when he managed to say something that prompted a longer verbal response from the human. Damn, the guy was actually really smart and could be funny even, but he didn’t show it often. In fact, it looked like the witty or snarky comments the archangel enjoyed to hear only came out of the younger Winchester’s mouth by accident. As soon as the human realized what he had just said he’d give a nearly shy half-smile and then shut down again. That was what Gabriel hated the most about their current situation, too.

Most of the time people said that the lights were on but nobody was home, but in Sam’s case the lights were off but clearly somebody was at home and the archangel really wanted his guest – technically prisoner – to turn the damn lights on again and come out of his shell. He just didn’t know how to accomplish that.

“Are we boring you, Loki?” Thor asked, bringing his flat palm against the table to snap the trickster god out of his thoughts that were clearly far away from the meeting he was currently attending.

The archangel couldn’t help thinking that it would have been more effective and would have looked much more impressive if the thunder god had used his hammer on the table. Then again, even the granite table they were seated around wouldn’t have been able to withstand that. The table breaking down would have added a certain comedic effect, though. Yeah, his brother of sorts simply didn’t know how to make a good show unless it involved lightning bolts and thunder.

“No more than usual,” Gabriel replied with a shrug and added with a casual gesture of his hand, “Please, proceed.”

The other gods simply weren’t talking about things he didn’t know already, but it wasn’t like anybody expected him of all people to acknowledge how serious the situation was. If only they knew that he understood the graveness of everything that was happening much better than they did. To them a few key points that would give the endgame away were still missing, but Gabriel didn’t need any more hints than the few that they had to know what was coming. He wasn’t going to spoil the surprise for the others, though.

Freya sighed exaggeratedly, giving Odin a look that clearly said ‘Why the hell did you even ask him to come?’. It seemed like all of the major and some of the minor gods had been invited though, so it only made sense that Loki should be there, too.

“This is no joke!” Thor insisted, predictably getting upset about the lack of respect from the trickster god. It didn’t seem to matter how long they knew each other, Thor always took the bait.

“Oh boo hoo, some demon lost their pet human and thinks one of us might have done it,” Gabriel summed up what the others had discussed before in a mocking tone, “Since when are we concerning ourselves with the black-eyed pests, anyway?”

They all were gods, after all. Common demons were nothing more than cockroaches to them.

Of course, the archangel knew that things were a little different in this case. He had kept an eye on the ripples in the pond the younger Winchester’s sudden disappearance had caused and hadn’t missed that the demon named Ruby and a couple of others were turning every stone on their search for the human. He actually had been close to cheering for the old hunter when Bobby Singer had kicked a few of the demons’ asses after they had tried to capture him to get information.

“This is different, they really want this one and rumor has it that angels are getting involved, too,” Freya pointed out.

Alright, angels were something the gods had to concern themselves with, because they were a threat. Much more of a threat than demons were, anyway. Obviously, Gabriel still didn’t feel very concerned, however.

First of all, he had hidden Sam by far too well for anyone to find. The archangel knew how to stay hidden from anyone and anything better than any other living creature on this planet, after all.

Besides, he was confident that he could handle ordinary demons and angels alike. He could build a new hideout and transfer his guest there in the time it would take them to even get through the first barrier he had put in their way. Or, more likely, he would get the hell out of there and leave the human for them to find without leaving the slightest hint that the archangel had ever been there, too.

“Fine, let’s get this over with quicker,” Gabriel shrugged casually, “Did anyone here kidnap Sam Winchester? Or does anyone know where he is right now?”

The archangel leaned back in his seat, watching how the other gods looked at each other suspiciously. Only the pale, dark-haired woman standing in the corner of the room instead of sitting by the table with the others fixed her eyes on him. Gabriel grinned and gave her a small wave, acting completely innocently as he stood up.

“See, problem solved,” he stated casually, “Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some assholes with my name on them… Now that just came out wrong.”

The other gods failed to see the humor in the statement. Only the dark-haired woman’s lips twitched amusedly.

 

* * *

 

 

“Watcha watching?” Gabriel asked, kicking the door close behind himself.

The TV was on and Sam’s gigantic – well, proportional – feet were hanging off the end of the couch, so the human must have decided that he wanted to watch some daytime television. Something had to be seriously wrong with the guy, if he considered that a good form of entertainment.

When there was no answer for a few moments the archangel went around the couch, so he could see the taller man’s face. He was fast asleep. Well, that explained how he could stand to watch Judge Judy.

“Gee kiddo, what are you doing during the nights that you always have to sleep during the day?” Gabriel asked with a chuckle, tracing his fingers over the still healing cut on the younger Winchester’s forehead. They had taken the bandage off a couple days ago, but it’d still take a while until it was completely healed and there would be nothing left to see.

Sam slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times before he fixed his bleary eyes on the man standing over him. He said nothing when he sat up and rubbed his good hand over his face, though. The younger Winchester felt like he simply had nothing to say these days, so he preferred to stay quiet.

“Oh thanks, my day has been boring as hell. I’ve been looking forward to getting back here and having one of those very engaging conversations with you the entire time,” Gabriel answered one of the questions the human might have asked but hadn’t in a sarcastic tone. He snorted when Sam threw a half-hearted bitchface his way and went to the kitchen area to fry some fish for dinner. He had thought that keeping the other man on the rather healthy diet he had preferred before he had become the archangel’s guest might be good for his mood, but he was really starting to consider to just stuff him full of chocolate. Nobody could stay this gloomy on a sugar high!

“Thank you, Larry,” the younger Winchester sighed, leaning against the wall as he watched the other man work, as if just standing upright was too strenuous for him, all the while looking like a kicked puppy. Forget the chocolate, he’d stuff him full of anti-depressants instead!

“If you want to thank me for being sarcastic, you should do it sarcastically,” Gabriel lectured, carefully watching the other man’s face for the reaction he would get. Little surprisingly, there wasn’t much of one.

“Thank you for looking after me like you do,” Sam elaborated in a murmur instead, “Obviously, nobody else cares.”

Oh, right. Humans were social beings. It wasn’t like the younger Winchester had had many friends or even contacts before and he had seemed content enough only having his brother, however. Of course, he thought that he was a completely normal guy with a rather normal - if tragic – life who had nobody other than his roommate, as things were.

“Drama queen,” Gabriel huffed, shaking his head. He was starting to get it, though. Everything Sam had learned about himself had made him believe that he was a friendless loser with very grave psychological problems and a dead family. This time the archangel wasn’t going to take full responsibility for the state the human was in, though. He had neither actively tried to give the younger Winchester that impression, nor did he think that his words would have been interpreted in that way by everyone else. The kid obviously had issues that Gabriel had nothing to do with, too.

“How’s the arm doing?” the shorter man asked.

Sam shrugged lightly. The broken bones in his right arm were healing well enough. The pain was a lot less noticeable than it had been at the start. He was pretty sure that he’d still take some time until the he didn’t need the splints and the cast to keep his bones together anymore, but he wasn’t going to complain about the healing process.

“Swing your ass over here and fry the fish then!” Gabriel commanded, holding a spatula out for Sam to take, “Don’t tell me you can’t turn two pieces of fish with your left hand.”

The younger Winchester sighed but moved over to do as he had been told pretty much instantly. His roommate was busy cutting vegetables, so he couldn’t pay his full attention to the content of the frying pan. It was about time Sam got to do something around the house, anyway.

“Your brother cared a lot about you,” Gabriel said after a few moments they spent in silence, “And for all it’s worth, I do, too.”

The younger Winchester looked at the other man surprised before a small smile spread over his face. It wasn’t enough to really show his dimples off, but it was there nevertheless.

The archangel smiled back honestly and without a trace of the wickedness that he couldn’t quite shake off most of the time after all the years of being a trickster. Alright, if any demons or angels came for him, Gabriel would take Sam along to the new safehouse. Most likely.

The knock on the door startled both men equally. It was the first time in nearly three weeks that someone was paying them a visit, after all. While the younger Winchester was mostly curious, the archangel mentally prepared himself for fight or flight. He knew which one he would prefer, but he would kill whoever it was, if it was the only chance to get out of this alive himself. He was much more of a draft resister than an actual pacifist, after all.

The energy signature of their unexpected visitor didn’t do much to make Gabriel relax, either. He went to open the door, knowing that Sam wasn’t going to go anywhere near to it after his last experience with the great outdoors.

“We should talk,” the dark-haired woman said with an exasperated expression on her face as soon as the archangel opened the door far enough for her to speak to him face to face.

Gabriel nodded slightly and quickly stepped outside, closing the door behind himself.

“This is spectacularly reckless, even for you!” the woman stated very seriously as soon as she was sure that the human couldn’t hear them anymore, “You know, most of your own children would sell you out for this without thinking about it twice!”

The archangel shrugged lightly, even though his mind was working overtime with all the possible scenarios of how this could go from this point onward. It was rather hard to read something from the very strict, pale face that was staring back at him, though.

“Let’s not concern ourselves with the things others would do,” Gabriel commented nonchalantly. It was clear from the way his amber eyes fixed on the woman’s grey ones that he expected to hear where her loyalties were.

“If I wanted to rat you out, I’d have left after the first look through the window and wouldn’t have knocked,” she stated logically, “But don’t expect me to take your side when the others find out, father.”


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

 

“Sam, meet... Goddammit!” Gabriel yelled and pushed the tall human away from the smoking frying pan a little too forcefully, “Can’t leave you alone for five fucking minutes!”

The flinch that was partly due to pain of being moved too suddenly, partly due to the harsh words was completely lost on the smaller man, who had his back turned, dumping the pan and its content into the sink. He also didn’t notice how Sam raised his left hand, wanting to touch his arm or shoulder before the human aborted the motion and dropped his hand again. Hel however saw both these things all too clearly.

“The name is Helen not _goddammit_ ,” the goddess finally told the younger Winchester with a small smile, offering her hand to the human who seemed to only just have noticed that she was present at all. “Nice to meet you.”

Sam shook her hand with a small smile. He hadn’t seen any people other than Larry in the past weeks, so it was nice to have someone else around for a change. Judged by the greeting, Helen hadn’t known him before he had lost his memories either, which was the cherry on the cake. For once he would be able to talk to someone who didn’t know a million more things about him than he did.

“You think you’re so funny,” Gabriel snorted, turning the water off. It still bothered him that his daughter had figured his hiding place out, even if he was pretty sure that that didn’t mean that anyone else would be able to find it, too. Hel just had this way to figure him out where nobody else could and he probably had taught her a little too well when it came to seeing without being seen. Besides, warding against his own bloodline was the hardest to do without inconveniencing himself in the process, as well.

“I inherited the sense of humor from my father,” Hel commented casually, tucking a loose strand of her black hair back behind her ear. Actually, she and her brothers had had to inherit whatever sense of humor they had from their father, because their mother simply hadn’t had one to speak of.

“Please, he’s much funnier than you could ever hope to be,” the archangel shot back with a smirk. Then again, he had to admit that for a goddess of the underworld his daughter had a pretty decent sense of humor, better than most underworld dwellers he had ever met, anyway. Not that that meant all too much.

“Of course, you’d say that,” Hel shrugged lightly, turning her attention back to the human who had been watching the exchange in silence, “He has always been close to my father. They are very similar personality wise.”

The younger Winchester nodded slightly. It was crazy how hard it was for him to just focus on the things the other two were saying. It wasn’t even that he wasn’t interested in whatever they might say. He simply found it very hard to focus on anything lately, which was also why he had continued to stare into space while dinner had been burning right in front of his eyes. He knew that he’d have to find a way to pull himself together one of these days, but the harder he tried the more he lost his grasp on himself.

“And you two are…?” Sam asked with a small frown finally, pushing all other thoughts aside for the moment being. There’d be a time and a place to focus on everything else eventually.

“Not that close,” Hel answered even as Gabriel blurted out, “Cousins.”

The younger Winchester couldn’t help thinking that it was humorous that for once Larry had given the less evasive answer to a question. The two of them being cousins made sense, too. There wasn’t much of a family likeness to speak of, but they hadn’t exactly behaved like they were dating or best friends, either.

“How about we let him care for the mess and get to know each other a bit better?” Hel suggested with a nice smile, ignoring that her father was obviously rather displeased with her because of it.

The younger Winchester only hesitated for a moment before he nodded and walked toward his room which was about the only place in the cabin where they could talk just between the two of them.

“How are you doing, Sam?” Hel asked in a gentle tone, gesturing toward his broken arm once the two of them had left the somewhat miffed trickster god behind in the kitchen and had retreated into the human’s room.

Her father had given the goddess a number of rules to follow, if she wanted to interact with the younger Winchester in any way and being alone with him had been on the ‘don’t’ side of things. Hel didn’t feel guilty in the slightest, however. It wouldn’t be a lie to say that Loki’s influence was what made her all too prone to breaking any sort of rule anybody tried to force on her in the first place.

“Good, all things considered,” Sam replied with a slight shrug, taking a seat at the edge of his bed in the careful way he had learned to move in the past weeks. He wasn’t yet sure what to make of the woman. She seemed to be nice, even if she looked a little strange. The thing that really made the younger Winchester a little insecure was the glimpse of the glare his roommate had sent her way when she had suggested that they could talk just between the two of them. Sure, Larry hadn’t objected in any way when Sam had agreed, but thoughts of that annoyed look still wouldn’t leave him alone. There had to be a reason for it, right?

“You don’t look good,” Hel commented bluntly. To tell the truth, she hadn’t entered the cabin with the intention to have a heart to heart with the human, but when she had first gotten a clear look of him, she had decided that it might be necessary, after all. She had never met the Winchester brothers personally, but there were enough stories about both of them out there to give her a very clear impression of what the human had supposedly been like not that long ago. It didn’t look like there was much of the troublesome and very dangerous hunter left and even if the sad puppy dog look hadn’t reminded her of her brother, she would have been curious to get behind this.

Sam huffed and looked back at the woman nearly defiantly. It only lasted for a second before he dropped his gaze to the floor, however.

“Nobody can blame you for that. After everything Larry told me -,” Hel started, trying to get the human to open up a little. Instead she got interrupted mid-sentence.

“His name actually is Larry?” the younger Winchester asked, sounding nearly excited. That of course would explain why the other man had never been bothered by him calling him that name. It would be the hell of a coincidence, too. Or a sign that Sam had more access to his lost memories than they had thought he had. Either way, he was all too willing to count that as a win.

“It’s what he told me to call him around you,” the goddess replied honestly, even though she already knew that the human wouldn’t like it. She didn’t have any hope that her father would go along with it, if she let Sam believe that he really had guessed the name right, however.

The younger Winchester’s face fell again immediately. He really should have known it.

“So, he said you can’t even tell me his name, but he told you things about me?” Sam stated, hating how his voice trembled slightly, “That’s just great. So damn fair, too.”

Even if Helen only knew the things about him that he knew too, it still didn’t seem fair. What was the damn deal with that fucking name? The younger Winchester couldn’t help feeling like the already unstable ground he had been on before had suddenly disappeared right from under his feet completely. He probably had been really stupid for putting any sort of trust into a guy who obviously was having too much fun playing him for a sucker, in the first place.

Hel knew that she had just completely lost the younger Winchester’s attention and that he was lost in his own thoughts once more. She couldn’t really blame him for it, either. Luckily, she knew just the guy to blame, however.

 

* * *

 

 

Dinner was an awfully quiet and uncomfortable affair for all three of them.

Sam hadn’t touched his food before he pushed the plate away and stood up to walk back into his room. He didn’t even know if he was mad or disappointed with the other man, but he sure as hell didn’t feel good and sticking around, having to look at him didn’t make anything better.

Gabriel waited until the younger Winchester had closed the door behind him before he waved his hand to make sure that the human didn’t overhear anything that would be spoken next.

“What the hell did you do to him?” the archangel hissed, giving his daughter a warning glare that clearly said that she’d better have a good answer that wouldn’t force him to bend her over his knee, metaphorically spoken. Alright, he wasn’t going to pretend that things had been going great before Hel had shown up, but it was a fact that she had been alone with Sam for maybe fifteen minutes and suddenly the human didn’t even want to look into his direction!

“What I did to him? Don’t try to blame me for something you fucked up from the start now!” the goddess shot back in an icy tone that could have made other people shiver with fear. Of course, her father was completely unimpressed.

“He was fine before you had your little one on one talk,” Gabriel insisted, even though he knew that technically that wasn’t true. Okay, he hadn’t been fine, but he had been much better than this!

“Sam wasn’t fine by a long stretch,” Hel replied with a snort, “You want to know what I did? I did exactly what you told me and kept that stupid ‘Larry’ joke up!”

The goddess slapped her hand on the table and rose from her seat, towering over her father as she fixed his eyes with a hard stare. As had to be expected Loki immediately narrowed his usually golden-brown eyes, which suddenly seemed much darker, and opened his mouth to give her a piece of his mind.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Hel raised her voice, pointing a finger at her father as a clear sign of just how serious she was about talking on uninterrupted, “You took everything from the man. The good, the bad and everything in between. You took everything and gave him nothing to fill the void. You didn’t even give him a damn name for the asshole he’s living with and you’re seriously trying to blame me for upsetting him!”

To the goddess’ great surprise her father kept quiet and just gave her a thoughtful look. Now that was new. She probably had given him a little too little credit for how much he was caring for the human no matter what it might look like from her point of view.

“If you wanted a puppy that bad, you could have just asked Fenrir to move in with you. I’m pretty sure he’d have jumped at the opportunity,” Hel added in a calmer tone. In fact, her brother really might have liked living with their father. He was the one of them who always tried to get closer to Loki when he had a chance and the one who was always quick to defend him. She didn’t completely understand where her brother’s blind devotion to their father came from, but she supposed it had something to do with his wolfish nature and pack dynamics.

“Could have, but you know as well as I do that he’s not completely housebroken,” Gabriel replied with a slight smirk. His mind was still reeling with a few of the things his daughter had said earlier, but he didn’t have to let it show all that much. It was bad enough that she really had brought up a few pretty damn good points.

“But you’re doing a great job completely breaking your new pet,” Hel commented dryly, but leaving no doubts that she was completely serious about it. She didn’t know Sam well enough to really care about him personally all that much, but she had to admit that she was fond of humans in general. Of the decent ones, anyway.

“Watch it! You’re pushing it,” the archangel said in a warning tone once more. This time he really meant it, though. He had heard enough and it had hurt, there was no need to rub salt into the wounds now. Of course, he might have applied completely different standards had this been about someone else but himself.

“Tell Sam I’ll be coming around again,” the goddess stated in a neutral tone, giving her father the shortest of hugs before she let herself out of the cabin. There was no use getting in a fight with Loki that would leave both of them with a lot of regrets once they had calmed down again, so removing herself from the scene seemed like the better option.

It was only a few minutes later that Gabriel took a plate of reheated chicken nuggets and knocked on the younger Winchester’s door. Once he got thinking he hardly ever took long to come to a conclusion and this case had been no different.

“You really should eat something,” the archangel suggested, putting the plate on the bedside table, “The chicken died for nothing, if you let your food go to waste.”

Sam’s eyes had been following Gabriel’s movements, but he hadn’t really looked at the other man all the same. Maybe it was stupid, but he simply didn’t feel that he could trust someone who went as far as to tell other people they had to lie to Sam for the sake of a stupid joke or whatever this was. At the same time he knew that he needed the other man however and that made for a lot of conflicting emotions that the younger Winchester just couldn’t deal with.

“Sam,” Gabriel sighed, sitting on the bed next to the taller man, “I shouldn’t be in charge of a dog, let alone a human being and I messed up. For that I’m sorry.”

At least, Sam seemed interested in what he was saying, even though doubt was radiating off the human. The archangel supposed he deserved that after everything. He had the honest intention to make up for a few of his mistakes in the near future however, starting with the one their latest troubles had been about.

“You can call me Gabe.”


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

 

Sam’s eyes snapped open. He exhaled shakily, reaching for the lamp he knew had to be somewhere there on the bedside table. The light hurt his eyes for the first few moments, but it really helped with shaking off the last remnants of the nightmare he had just woken up from.

The younger Winchester swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, trying to calm his hammering heart. He already knew that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, however.

Most of his dreams didn’t make much sense to him and he had long since decided that they simply were a sign for just how fucked up his mind was. That didn’t make the pictures and scenes his mind threw at him on a nightly basis any less frightening and scarring, however.

At least, he hadn’t woken up screaming this time around. Sam was nearly a hundred percent sure that Gabe would have come to check on him, if he had. That meant that he didn’t have to feel bad about waking the other man up for once, even though it sometimes seemed questionable that he slept at all. In the very least he couldn’t need that much sleep, seeing as how he never showed any signs of weariness, no matter at what time of the night he had to get up.

The younger Winchester really didn’t want to linger on the fact that he actually was a little disappointed that Gabe wasn’t around to keep him company that very moment, so he got up with a quiet groan and decided to go look for something to occupy himself with instead.

Standing in front of the closed front door hadn’t been what he had had in mind when he had left his room, but he had felt drawn to the damn thing. It was completely ridiculous that Sam couldn’t even touch the door handle without feeling like it was getting harder to breathe. He was stubborn enough to leave his hand on it, anyway.

Logically, he knew that there was nothing to fear on the other side of that door. Alright, there were bears or cougars in the forest they were surrounded by for all he knew, but that alone shouldn’t cause the blind panic he felt when he only considered setting a foot outside. Of course, he still remembered the panic attack he had suffered the last time he had left the cabin all too clearly and that was enough of an explanation for the insistent voice in his head that yelled at him to just step away from the damned door.

Sam wouldn’t have been Sam, if that hadn’t made him want to push his limits all the more, however. Maybe he wasn’t going to go for a walk outside anytime soon, but he definitely should be able to just turn the key. The younger Winchester decided that he would settle for simply opening the door and taking a look outside. Nothing more, nothing less.

The sound of the key turning seemed unnaturally loud and made Sam flinch slightly. He also couldn’t stop his hand from trembling when he put it on the door handle again. After getting this far taking the final step shouldn’t have been this hard, but the younger Winchester was still breathing hard and sweating when he finally opened the door the slightest little bit.

The night air was comfortably cool on Sam’s skin and everything seemed perfectly calm and quiet, but the fear that had been there before turned into outright horror so quickly that he didn’t even have a chance to close the door again before he froze completely.

“Jesus, you sure like torturing yourself!” Gabriel suddenly stated in an exasperated tone, pushing the door close, “If you really are into being masochistic that much you could have just said so and I’d have broken out the whips.”

The sound of his own heart beating much too fast kept the younger Winchester from fully comprehending what the other man had just said. He felt Gabe’s hands on his arm and on his back as he led him toward the kitchen area and more or less forced him to sit on a chair all too clearly, however. It wasn’t an unwelcome feeling, either.

Sometimes it actually was confusing how much he liked having Gabe around. The guy was annoying, snarky and sarcastic, but there was no use denying that there was a lot more to him than that. The younger Winchester played with the amulet he hadn’t taken off ever since he had first found and put it around his neck absent mindedly. At least, neither his nightmares nor his near brush with a minor panic attack were on the forefront of his mind for the moment being.

Gabriel could tell that Sam was busy thinking about one thing or the other, but it didn’t look like it was about something completely uncomfortable this time around which was just as well, because the archangel had a few things to think about, as well. Taking care of the human was turning out to be like babysitting a rather self-destructive baby and that was a lot more work than Gabriel had signed up for. Hell, what he had signed up for had been giving an annoying human hell for being as reckless and stupid as he had been. What he had gotten was a moose of a man who the archangel wanted to protect and just keep with him much more than he had ever wanted to punish him.

“Here,” Gabriel said, putting a glass of milk with a little honey he had just warmed in the microwave in front of the taller man along with a plate of big white chocolate and macadamia cookies.

“Come on, Sasquatch, they are even healthy. See, nuts!” the archangel added when Sam started to sip on the milk but made no move to reach for a cookie. It was a crime, really. They had come all the way from a little but very awesome bakery in San Francisco, after all. Not that the taller man would know that.

“Yeah, macadamia nuts. They’re among the nuts with the highest amount of fat,” the younger Winchester commented in a nearly lecturing tone, “Not to mention that adding a handful of nuts to a ton of chocolate and sugar doesn’t exactly make anything healthy.”

Despite his words Sam reached for one of the cookies just a moment later. There was no use denying that that sort of comfort food was tasty, he still had felt like pointing out that it was by no means healthy, however. As it turned out, he could be quite the smartass. The younger Winchester had to admit that he wasn’t all too surprised by that, though.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Gabriel asked after watching how the human broke the cookie into pieces without ever putting anything into his mouth for a few long moments. This time around the thoughts that were obviously running through the other man’s mind seemed to be more on the gloomy side, too.

“It’s just…” Sam sighed before he tried anew, “How do I know stupid stuff like how much fat macadamia nuts have when I can’t remember, if my dad used to give me warm milk and cookies against nightmares?”

In fact, it looked like he knew a lot of things about a wide variety of subjects, but there was next to nothing about his personal life before he had first woken up a little more than three weeks ago. Actually, his brother’s name was the only thing he had remembered this far. He had a picture that matched the name, but that mostly came from the photograph he had found. He was very sure that Dean had been very important to him and that they had been close, however.

“Doubt it,” Gabriel commented around a mouthful of cookie, completely ignoring what the question had actually been about, “He’d have given you a baseball bat to beat those dreams into submission with instead.”

The picture of a five to seven year old Sam running around in his kiddy pajamas, trying to defeat his nightmares with a baseball bat was more amusing than it had any right to be and it had the right to be very amusing in the first place. It helped that Gabriel just imagined a shrunken down version of the man sitting in front of him instead of his actual five year old self.

“Yeah, right,” the younger Winchester snorted. He had to admit that something deep inside of him didn’t think that the scenario the other man had spoken about was quite as unrealistic as it had sounded at first. Okay, that definitely was new information.

“Your father was a very special kind of person,” the archangel shrugged as if saying that explained everything, “I’d give you one, too. But I’m afraid that you’d be too likely to whack yourself over the head with it.”

“I’m not that much of a klutz,” Sam huffed. He was pretty sure that that was the truth, as well. That he had some problems with certain movements had nothing to do with him being clumsy after all and he hadn’t seen anything else that would have spoken for him being all thumbs, either.

“Nope,” Gabriel replied, popping the ‘p’ for all it was worth, “But you sure seem to like pain. Case in point…”

The archangel looked toward the closed again front door. Of course he had known that the younger Winchester had left his room the moment he had stepped outside, but he hadn’t seen a reason to rush to his side to see what was going on. The nightly silence around the cabin hadn’t been disturbed, so it hadn’t looked like such a bad idea to just give the human a little time on his own. The sound of the door being unlocked had forced him to intervene, however.

“I can’t just… I can’t let this fear rule my life,” Sam insisted, reasonably as he thought. He wasn’t saying that it would be easy to get over this sort of phobia that had been caused by very deep seated psychological trauma – deep seated enough that it still affected him, even though he couldn’t remember the events that had caused it – but he thought that he had to try.

“Yeah, you were never good with accepting things,” the other man gave a bitter laugh that seemed out of place to the younger Winchester. Sure, he had made a few very bad decisions in the past, for all he knew, and Gabe had admitted that he had been mad at him for seeking revenge and rushing into things beyond his control. This case was completely different, however.

“You think I should accept that my own freaking mind is going to keep me from ever leaving this place again instead of trying to get over it?” Sam asked with a frown just to make sure that he understood the shorter man correctly.

“I think you should at least pick your battles,” Gabriel clarified, “You’re opening wounds that would be fine, if you left them alone and that while you still have a lot of healing to do, anyway.”

Besides, the human was fighting a battle that he couldn’t win, since the problem wasn’t in his psyche as he thought it was. The archangel might have been the one who had built the invisible barrier around the cabin that gave Sam all sorts of bad feelings when he tried to cross it, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to watch him run into it again and again. Granted, at the very beginning of operation ‘kidnapped moose’ – working title – that would have sounded like an interesting pastime, but there was no use denying that Gabriel’s feelings toward his ‘guest’ had changed.

Sam sighed but didn’t say anything. He had to admit that the other man had a point. He also knew that he probably wasn’t going to sit back and just wait for a better time to come, however.

“Think you can go back to sleep now?” the archangel asked a few minutes later after the human had finished his glass of milk and eaten at least some pieces of his butchered cookie.

The younger Winchester shook his head slightly. Going back to bed was about the last thing on his mind. Actually, he was starting to fear going to sleep slowly but steadily. He wasn’t exactly sure what a phobia like that was called, but it seemed quite possible that he was developing it with those stupid, awful, annoying, soul-crushing nightmares that plagued him more often than not.

“Okay, let’s watch a movie then,” Gabriel suggested a little too animatedly considering the late – or early – hour.

The nearly childish glee with which he had spoken made Sam think that his roommate was thinking of some specific movie or kind of movie and he wasn’t completely sure, if that meant anything good. Green eyes met amber before the human gave in and went to the sofa, facing the TV.

Sam definitely was surprised when they Disney logo appeared on the screen as soon as the other man had put the DVD into the player. The younger Winchester had expected a lot of things, but Pinocchio hadn’t been one of them.

“Get comfortable,” Gabriel demanded as soon as he had gotten settled on the couch next to the taller man, “How do you expect to ever get sleepy, if you’re all tense like that?”

When Sam didn’t move quickly enough the archangel did some careful pushing and pulling until the younger Winchester somehow ended with his head on a cushion at one end of the couch and his legs over Gabriel’s lap. His try to change something about that again was met with a stern look and a gesture toward the TV that clearly meant ‘Stop fussing about and watch the movie!’

To tell the truth, getting to stay exactly where he was suited Sam very well, anyway. He was pretty damn comfortable as things were and it was a feeling that had evaded him for the most part in the past weeks. There had always been the one thing or the other that had ached or outright hurt, but that very moment it looked like they had found a position that just felt good.

“Hey Sam, did it ever cross your mind that maybe Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy so bad ‘cause Gepetto didn’t build him with a puppet dick?” Gabriel asked with a grin once the credits rolled.

He didn’t get an answer, because the tall human had fallen back asleep a few minutes earlier, however. Oh well, they could still discuss that question some other time.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

 

“He made me sit through Pocahontas,” Sam complained half-heartedly, putting a cup of tea in front of Helen.

Gabriel had gone on a supply run as he had said earlier and had asked the younger Winchester, if he’d like to have some company while he was away. Sam of course had insisted that he didn’t need a babysitter and would be fine on his own. Surprisingly, the shorter man had just looked at him with some fond amusement and had clarified that this was by no means about what Sam needed. It was simply about what he wanted. The younger Winchester had had to admit that the prospect of having Helen – who for the moment being was the only other person he knew – around had been nice. He had voiced that thought a little reluctantly, but Gabe had just nodded and had called the dark-haired woman.

“I’ve never fallen asleep so fast in my life… not that I remember, anyway,” Sam added with a slight shrug, “And then I had this strange dream about a Native American yelling at me for first butchering his people and then having the nerve to tell the story like that.”

As Sam’s dreams went these days, that one actually hadn’t been half bad. Confusing and a little scary, but much better than the dreams that were centered on fire, blood and black smoke he usually had.

“The horror,” Hel commented completely seriously. The corners of her mouth twitched traitorously, however. It was good to see that the human was doing better and hearing about the movie choices her father had made was amusing enough, as well.

“I was completely unprepared for something like that,” Sam claimed, sitting down across from the woman, “We started out so well with Pinocchio and Alice in Wonderland. Aristocats wasn’t that bad either, admittedly.”

Singing and dancing cats weren’t exactly the thing the younger Winchester loved the most in the world, but they made for some good after nightmare entertainment. Besides, Gabe clearly had been into the movie, so watching the shorter man hum along with most of the songs had made watching the entire thing worth it for sure.

“Does your cousin have some weird Disney fetish?” Sam asked a moment later. He liked to think that he had gotten to know Gabe over the past four weeks, but he still didn’t dare to guess how ridiculous accusing him of something like that was. Apparently, it wasn’t all that ridiculous after all, however.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s into a great many things for all I know,” Hel chuckled, stirring some more sugar into her cup of tea.

The younger Winchester blamed the uncomfortable itching sensation that was inconveniently located under the cast that still covered his right arm from the elbow down for the fact that he didn’t prevent himself from actually giving any sort of response to that piece of information. “Yeah?”

“Don’t tell me you are actually interested in the details now,” the goddess joked. She was looking Sam inquisitively, though. Chances were his question hadn’t been anything more than him showing that he had been listening to what she had been saying. He might have been actually interested in the topic for completely different reasons as well, however. Looking at how the only other person the human ever got to talk to was the person they were talking about right now, Hel thought it would be a good idea to find out if there was something he wanted or needed to talk about.

“What? No, of course not!” Sam protested a little too quickly and a little too strongly. It wasn’t like any preference Gabe had was any of his business and while he really wanted to know more about the other man, this probably wasn’t the most appropriate topic to start with. The younger Winchester couldn’t deny that a part of him really wanted to know more about that particular aspect of Gabriel’s life, however.

“Oh Sam…” Hel frowned slightly. She hadn’t yet decided, if that new piece of information was most likely good or bad. It had the potential to be both, really.

“Forget it, okay? I didn’t mean it like that,” Sam insisted, trying and failing to sound at least a little casual. The direction the talk had taken made him uncomfortable on more than one level.

“Like what?” the goddess asked, obviously unwilling to let this go as the human desperately wanted her to. She was related to Gabe, alright.

A quick look between them made clear that they both knew what they were talking about without Sam having to clarify. That suited the human just well, too. He really didn’t want to have to say out loud that he thought he might have developed a bit of a crush on his roommate in front of said roommate’s cousin.

Besides, the entire thing was completely stupid anyway, which was a thought Sam found he could voice without dying of embarrassment. He probably should have prevented his next thought from making it from his brain to his mouth, however. “I don’t even know, if I swing that way.”

“That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve heard lately,” Hel replied, not unkindly though, “Frankly, you feel like you want to jump someone’s bones, chances are you swing that way. You don’t need to remember your previous relationships to know that.”

The goddess had to admit that for all she knew Sam hadn’t shown any sort of attraction toward men before, however. Still, her point stood. If there was that sort of attraction between him and her father, there was at least one exception to the heterosexual rule for him. (Quite possibly more than one, looking at the world as a whole, but that was definitely off topic for the moment being.)

“I told you, it’s not like that,” the younger Winchester insisted again, uselessly trying to fight the embarrassment and the resulting blush down.

“What is it like then?” the goddess asked. She tried to keep her voice casual, however. There was no use making this even more awkward for the human.

Sam seriously considered not answering that question at all, but then he sighed and tried to put something into words that he couldn’t even explain to himself. “I like him. A lot.”

Okay, so that try to describe those feelings that had been there for a while and that he had had to think about more than he was comfortable with lately had been rather pitiful. He really didn’t want to voice how he enjoyed being cared for, touched and held by Gabe and going into detail on the one really good dream he had had ever since… well, ever since he could remember… didn’t sound so appealing, either.

“And that’s different how?” Hel wanted to know. She had to assume that the kind of ‘liking’ Sam had just talked about was different to the way she liked the human or he obviously liked her. So, maybe he wasn’t at the point where he really wanted to jump Loki’s bones, but he obviously had more than purely friendly feelings for him.

“You were talking about physical attraction, I was talking about…” the younger Winchester trailed off. His tendency to be a bit of a smartass had once more made him talk before he had fully considered what consequences speaking his mind would have.

“Oh boy,” the goddess commented. Apparently, the human’s habit of voicing thoughts before he had had thought them fully through was contagious.

“Look, if you think I’m not… that I don’t have… just say it,” Sam groaned, the annoyance apparent in his voice. He couldn’t bring himself to actually finish the statements, however. Saying ‘I’m not his type’ or ‘I don’t have a chance’ would make everything all too real and he wasn’t quite sure, he could have handled that. Hell, he hadn’t thought that he would have to deal with these things at all that day an hour ago.

“That’s not it, Sam,” Hel was quick to point out. As she had said earlier, Loki was the kind of person – god really – who was into basically everything, as long as the circumstances were right. That was the impression she had gotten over the years, anyway.

The younger Winchester just looked at her, clearly wanting an explanation before he would even consider believing what she had just said. There were by far too many unexplained things in his life as things were. He wouldn’t let her add to that, if he could help it.

“Okay, let me be completely honest with you,” Hel stated seriously, looking into Sam’s eyes, “If you had only been talking about physical attraction, I’d have told you to go with it and have fun.”

Being stuck in the cabin all day long, Sam had to get bored sometimes. There were only so many things you could do around the place, after all. Hel would have completely understood the appeal of some sort of mutually satisfying arrangement between the two men. She wouldn’t have thought that the younger Winchester would have had much to lose that way, either. Of course, things just had to be more complicated, however.

“Everything else is…” the goddess stopped speaking for a moment to collect her thoughts before she tried anew, “He is not a reliable person. I’m not saying that he’s a bad guy. I’m not even trying to say that he lets people down on purpose, but he does and that’s a fact.”

Most of the other gods had some respect for Loki because of his powers and because generally speaking he wasn’t that much more unpredictable or eccentric than quite a few of the others. Being in a position where you depended on him was something everyone dreaded, however. It wasn’t that he let everyone down all the time, it was more that you never knew when he was going to back out all of a sudden.

“You realize that I basically have to rely on him, right?” Sam asked, trying to give his voice a lighter note however. The truth was that for some reason he didn’t feel all too worried by what he had just heard. It helped that he had already had some weeks to get a picture of what Gabe was like, so he assumed that Helen was talking about her own experiences rather than making universally valid statements about her cousin’s character.

Hel looked thoughtful for a moment before she rummaged around in the big pocket of the black jacket she was wearing and handed a piece of paper with a phone number on it to the younger Winchester. “Can’t hurt to have a plan B, can it?”

Sam smiled at her and took the little card. He didn’t expect he was going to need it, but it was nice to know that he had the possibility to just call her, all the same.

 

* * *

 

 

“Look what I found, a real classic,” Gabriel stated with a grin, waving the DVD case around after he had put all the other groceries away.

Hel had left a few minutes after he had returned from his supply run, giving him a strange look he couldn’t quite place. It hadn’t exactly looked like she was giving him the evil eye, but it hadn’t looked like pure amusement, either. Gabriel had to admit that he probably had taught her – and her brothers – a little too well as far as some of the ways of the trickster were concerned. Hard to read expressions or outright pokerfaces definitely counted as two of those. Chances were he’d find out what this had been about sooner rather than later, however.

“Sleeping Beauty?” Sam guessed, because the constant waving of the DVD made it nearly impossible to actually see what it was. He really needed to look through the shelves with the DVDs that were already around some day to see just how many of those stupid movies Gabe actually possessed. At least, he hadn’t claimed that they were actually Sam’s this far.

“Bingo,” the shorter man smirked, “It reminded me of you, so I had to buy it.”

Not to mention that he actually hadn’t had that many Disney movies around when they had started. Pinocchio had been more of a random pick at first and only then had he decided to go for a running theme. Of course, those archangel and trickster powers really came in handy more often than not and so they currently had a nearly complete Disney collection to choose from.

“Sleeping Beauty reminded you of me?” Sam asked with a small smile, wondering if Gabe knew what he had just said there or if he had just tried to tease him. Both options seemed equally possible.

“Mhm,” Gabriel hummed, putting the movie next to the TV for easy access the next time they needed a movie, “You look cute when you’re sleeping.”

The archangel had seen enough of that over the past days when the human had fallen asleep on the couch during one of their movies more often than not. He was pretty sure that it was less about the kid’s movies and more about being close to Gabriel and by extension his grace that allowed the taller man to sleep a lot more peacefully than he did in his own bed, but he had no problems with letting Sam believe that it was in fact about the films.

“As long as you don’t molest me in my sleep to wake me up,” the younger Winchester shrugged, giving the other man a challenging look. He was also trying to ignore that the smaller man was probably really flirting with him. Acknowledging that would only make him blush and he really didn’t want that.

“Sasquatch, I swear, romance is fucking lost on you,” Gabriel chuckled, shaking his head. At least the Disney kind of romance obviously was. The kind that was more realistic probably wasn’t, but the archangel didn’t intend to start watching romantic comedies anytime soon.

“What’s romantic about a guy kissing a girl in a coma? That’s textbook non-consensual right there,” Sam insisted, even though he wasn’t completely serious about discussing the logic behind a fairytale in the first place. It worked wonders against thinking about flirting roommates, however. It did until said roommates decided to suddenly invade your personal space, anyway.

“Look at it like this,” the archangel replied in a soft tone, standing close enough to the other man so they were nearly touching, “You wake up and the first thing you see is your Prince Charming kissing you. Sounds like a pretty good way to wake up to me.”

Sam swallowed audibly and nodded before he basically jumped back and grabbed the new toothbrushes and shower gel Gabriel had bought to put them into the bathroom. That wasn’t quite the same as simply trying to escape. He was only making himself useful.

The archangel shook his head amusedly again. It looked like things between him and his guest were only just starting to get really complicated, but he decided to push that thought as far away as he could for the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

 

Usually, Sam would have been fast asleep by this point. He had never actually seen the very end of the movie of the night they had been watching before, but this time was different.

Of course, Gabriel had been able to tell that something was off nearly right from the start. They both had gotten comfortable on the couch in a way that left the human close enough to the archangel that their shoulders were nearly touching. It hadn’t been that hard to sense that instead of calming down and relaxing after waking up from one of his most hated recurring nightmares – the one with the barking dogs, the milky white eyes and the screams of a voice he assumed belonged to his dead brother – the younger Winchester had gotten even more tense as the film had progressed.

“I fucking hate this movie!” Sam stated with enough passion that it made the shorter man look at him astonished. It had been obvious enough that something was bothering the taller man, but hearing him say it like that still was a bit of a surprise.

“Gee, Sasquatch, it’s only a kid’s movie,” Gabriel pointed out in a soothing tone as he hoped. Who’d have thought that a Disney movie would get a reaction like that out of an otherwise somewhat balanced person? Alright, a few of the live action movies – High School Musical came to mind – might have gotten the same reaction out of the archangel, he had to admit.

“Yeah, a horrible one,” Sam reaffirmed his previous statement. Compared to this the non-consensual kissing of a coma-patient from ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and the borderline necrophilia of ‘Snow White’ had been pretty harmless, in his eyes, anyway.

“Okay, I’ll regret asking, but what exactly got your panties in a bunch this time?” Gabriel asked. What he actually regretted just a moment later was wording it like that. Yes, Sam had had something cynical to say about every other Disney movie they had watched, but it wasn’t like the archangel didn’t enjoy hearing him get snarky. Compared to the subdued and depressed version of the younger Winchester he had seen as well already, the snarky smartass was much more entertaining. There was no question which one of those two Gabriel preferred.

Sam immediately opened his mouth to give an answer, but thinking about what he had been going to say made him realize just how stupid it was to get upset about the movie like that. He didn’t quite understand where the intense hate came from, in the first place. There had been one thing or the other about every other movie he had commented on too, but those hadn’t actually made him feel bad. Sam still felt that he really loathed this particular film, however. He didn’t feel quite that tempted to give a flaming speech about it anymore, though. The younger Winchester sighed, his shoulder’s dropping. He wasn’t quite sure why this was eating away at him like it was, but he couldn’t ignore the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, all the same.

“No, seriously, what about this particular movie bothers you that much?” Gabriel asked in a soft tone, turning sideways so he could take a better look at the other man, who seemed much smaller that very moment with his sagging shoulders.

“They’re horrible people,” Sam explained in a quiet tone that got a louder as he spoke on, however, “The guy treats living and breathing people like property and doesn’t know the difference between love and Stockholm syndrome. But know what? The bitch deserves it!”

The archangel was seriously tempted to laugh at that little outburst, but looking at how serious the younger Winchester was about it kept him from actually doing that.

Honestly, he had expected that the other man would have a few cynical comments about ‘Beauty and the Beast’, but he hadn’t thought that Sam would find such hard words for Belle of all people. She wasn’t that unlike the tall human in Gabriel’s opinion, after all. Bookish, smart, not quite fitting into the world she lived in. Not to mention the part where she was the prisoner of a supernatural being. Granted, the younger Winchester didn’t know that that last one applied to him as well.

He also pointedly ignored that that would clearly make him the beast in the scenario, or rather ‘the guy that treats living and breathing people like property’.

“She deserves it for making that fucking deal without caring that she was sending her father back to a life he couldn’t live without her in it anymore. She just expected him to go back and be okay with knowing that she sacrificed everything for him, even though he begged her not to!” Sam went on, clearly working himself up again the more he thought about this.

Oh, so actually Belle was more like Dean then. That was an interesting way to look at it. Gabriel had to admit that he hadn’t thought of it quite like that before. The comparison was possibly even more fitting than the scenario in which the younger Winchester was Belle, however. It was doubtful that the human would have used the same strong words to describe the woman’s actions, if he had fully realized that he was actually speaking about his brother. Then again, given enough alcohol and a particularly bad evening, he might have said the same things about Dean for all Gabriel had seen before he had abducted the man.

“What about the father going ahead and nearly getting himself killed? Way to honor the sacrifice his daughter made, don’t you think?” the archangel pointed out, even though he knew that it’d be better to get the human to calm down and let the topic rest. He was too curious to hear what Sam thought about the decisions Belle’s father had made.

“I… I could identify with that, though,” the younger Winchester admitted a little reluctantly. It was clear enough that Gabe thought that Maurice had been nothing but stupid in his actions, but Sam couldn’t fully agree with that.

“Stupidest character in the movie and you identify with him,” the archangel snorted, shaking his head. It made sense, however. Interpreting the movie the way Sam had, it was quite logical that the character of Belle’s father would strike a chord with him. He probably didn’t fully understand it either, but it was there in his subconscious mind.

“Oh shut up,” the younger Winchester muttered, “Of course, it was stupid as hell, but what was he supposed to do?”

“Is that what you’re really thinking?” Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow. To him this had long since ceased to be a discussion about a Disney movie. It wasn’t that likely that he’d actually gain completely new insights into the workings of the younger Winchester’s mind, but it’d still be interesting to hear the human analyze his own actions without knowing that he was doing just that.

Sam nodded.

“He could have gone home like she wanted him to. Go on living his life,” Gabriel suggested with a shrug. It was what he thought the younger Winchester should have done, after all. Looking at how a bunch of fictional characters in a movie with a plot that could be looked at in a way that made it similar to real life events affected the Sasquatch to the extend it obviously did, the archangel began to understand that he most likely had made a few misjudgments again.

What was it about the freaking Winchesters that always made him misinterpret their character and motives? Granted, his plan to set them up against each other to distract them from the pranks he had been playing on those people at the college town would have worked well enough, if it hadn’t been for the interference of one Bobby Singer. Then again, Gabriel was rather sure that they would have managed to pull themselves together and remember why they really were there by themselves given some more time, too.

The mystery spot incident had shown even more clearly that the archangel just didn’t understand the Winchesters and especially the younger one, however. To be fair, it had been somewhat impressive how willingly Dean had bought his brother’s crazy story about being in a time loop on most days, but it had been nothing compared to Sam’s determination to safe his brother no matter what. He hadn’t just said ‘Fuck it, he’s going to die, anyway’ on even one of the over a hundred and fifty Tuesdays. Taking Dean out of the equation and leaving him dead for six months hadn’t changed anything about that determination, either. Gabriel had been sure that the human would give up much earlier. Hell, the archangel himself would have for sure.

Sam shook his head. He only noticed that tears were running over his face when one of them fell on the back of his left hand. “Everything there would have always reminded him of… the stupid books, the clothes, the fucking car…”

Just like that it became obvious that the younger Winchester wasn’t only drawing parallels to something his subconscious mind knew, even if the memories were buried deep. He obviously had either found a small hole in the walls Gabriel had built, or he had opened one himself.

Sam’s pained gasp as he tried to curl in on himself, clutching his head, didn’t allow the archangel to take a moment to consider what he was going to do about the new development. Instead he quickly and mostly out of instinct pulled the other man into his arms and against his chest, preventing him from hurting his only mostly healed ribs all over again by making even more potentially harmful movements.

It took an uncomfortably long time until Sam even started to react to the soothing noises and mostly meaningless little promises that everything would be okay Gabriel kept making. When the tension finally left the younger Winchester’s body very slowly he basically sagged against the smaller man’s chest.

A quick glimpse into Sam’s mind told the archangel everything he needed to know. Messy didn’t even start to describe it and the battle against the walls he had built was raging all over again, as well. Gabriel knew that he would have to wait until the younger Winchester was asleep before he could even begin to really assess the damage. He also knew that he’d have to be very careful with whatever he was going to do. As much as he had messed with Sam’s mind already it was just too dangerous that it would break completely, if he didn’t consider the next steps very carefully.

Once the human’s pulse had become by far less erratic and his breathing had calmed again as well, the archangel moved ever so slightly to let go of him. Or rather, he tried to move away, but Sam’s left hand was on his arm with surprising speed, holding on tight before he could even shift the slightest little bit.

“Gee, clingy much?” was what Gabriel had meant to say. What came out of his mouth instead was something else entirely, however. “I won’t let go, promise.”

The younger Winchester sighed and nodded slightly. A few moments passed before he released the hold he had on the other man’s left forearm and put his hand right over Gabriel’s instead. It was only a matter of time until their fingers were intertwined, though neither one of them would have been able to say who had initiated it.

“Say something, Sasquatch,” the archangel demanded in a somewhat playful tone once the silence started to feel a little too heavy for his liking, “I’d really like to make sure that you didn’t swallow your tongue.”

He also would have liked to end this moment they were having before it got even more intimate. It wasn’t that the thought of making out with the younger Winchester was repulsive – quite the contrary, actually – but he had some very basic moral standards. Not taking advantage of a situation like the one they were in was one of them. Granted, he had never before found himself in a situation quite as complex as this one. There had been occasions when he had gotten close to one of his victims before setting the plan he had for them into motion, or after he had gone through with it. He hadn’t spent quite this much time with any of them, however. He hadn’t gotten to know them the same way he knew Sam and – if he was being honest – he hadn’t felt drawn to any of those other people quite this way, either. That only went to show why they needed to end that moment they were having.

“I’m good,” the younger Winchester finally mumbled, “I think.”

To tell the truth, he just didn’t dare to say that things were okay or anything alike anymore. Those fits he kept having always seemed to be related to glimpses of his lost memories, but it wasn’t like there was a warning before one of those resurfaced. In fact, there mostly didn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to it. There was no way to predict when something like this might happen next and it wasn’t even possible to say just how he was going to react to it.

“Give it some time,” Gabriel replied in a gentle tone, “And some rest couldn’t hurt, either.”

The pang of guilt the archangel felt all too clearly was completely uncalled for. Sure, quite a few of the problems Sam was having were his doing, but it wasn’t like he had planned for things to go quite like this! Besides, given the time he could surely come up with perfectly valid reasons for his actions!

“I’m starting to notice a trend here. You’re always trying to get me into bed,” the younger Winchester commented which came unexpected enough that the archangel actually gaped like an idiot for a moment before he laughed.

“You wish,” Gabriel retorted with a teasing grin.

Sam shrugged lightly, allowing the other man to finally let go of him as he changed his position, so he could look directly into Gabriel’s amber eyes for a moment. Under different circumstances he might have spent much more time thinking things through and possibly overanalyzing them for however long it took to discourage himself from what he clearly wanted to do. As things were, Sam simply leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of Gabriel’s mouth for a moment. The archangel was pretty sure that nobody could blame him for instinctively following the human’s lips and kissing him back as soon as he caught them.

It said a lot about Sam’s talents as a kisser that Gabriel didn’t even notice the ripples in the metaphorical pond caused by a newly resurrected Dean Winchester crawling out of his grave until much later.


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

 

Dean pulled into Bobby’s driveway in the car he had hotwired at that gas station. He still felt disgruntled about the older hunter hanging up on him on the phone repeatedly. Granted, Bobby had good reasons to believe that he was about as dead as Milli Vanilli’s credibility. Which was about as dead as could be. However, telling himself that he was sort of mad at the older hunter kept Dean from thinking about the incident at the gas station he’d really much rather not think about. The appearance of some TV signal interrupting and glass shattering demon, or whatever that thing had been, right after he had managed to dig himself out of his grave clearly couldn’t mean anything good, after all.

The sight of his beloved Impala parked in front of Bobby’s house was enough to make all thoughts of shattering glass and brain melting noises disappear from Dean’s mind immediately.

As soon as the older Winchester had thrown the beat up car he had borrowed into park he went to inspect his baby, running his fingers over the metal with a happy sigh. It looked like Sam had taken good care of her just like Dean had wanted him to. It also seemed like a good guess that his younger brother had to be around somewhere. The Impala wouldn’t have driven itself over, after all.

The older Winchester knocked on the door already preparing for the speeches he was going to give to Sam about ditching or losing his damn phone – the number had to be out of service for a reason, after all – and to Bobby about hanging up on him. The moment the door was opened, Dean finally lost a bit of his composure, however. The cocky smile he had aimed for turned out to be rather cautious, showing the nerves he felt at seeing the older hunter again after everything that had happened.

It didn’t help to make him feel at ease that he fully expected Bobby to attack him which happened before they had even said their hellos. Some part of Dean actually felt a little proud of the older hunter for being cautious and just as prepared for about everything as he had always been. The greater part of him really didn’t want to die yet again and especially not at the hands of an old and trusted friend, however.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed, and... you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me,” Dean exclaimed as soon as he managed to get a chair between himself and the older hunter before he could take another stab at him with that silver knife. Those things were just as good for killing humans as they were for killing shapeshifters, after all.

In the end the older Winchester didn’t get around using that knife on himself to prove that he was human. After everything a little slash across the forearm wasn’t too high of a price to pay for getting Bobby to finally stop trying to kill him.

“Jesus, Bobby, I already thought you’d never stop-“ Dean managed to get out before he got a face- and mouthful of holy water. The older Winchester spat the water out with as much nonchalance as possible. “You happy now?”

Bobby nodded dumbly. The reality of everything that had just happened hadn’t fully caught up with him yet, but he still reached for a towel and handed it to the man who apparently really was who he seemed to be, even if that was much too good to be true. It wasn’t that often that the older hunter got really sentimental, but the realization that somehow Dean was actually back was enough to give him watery eyes as he finally pulled the younger man into a tight embrace.

“How did you get out?” Bobby asked a moment later, letting the older Winchester go and getting a beer out of the fridge for him. Hell, a man deserved a beer after his resurrection!

“I’d really like to know that, too. Last thing I knew I was a hellhound’s chew toy and then I suddenly have to dig myself out of my own grave,” Dean shrugged, taking the offered drink gladly. Things were about as far from normal as they could get, even for their standards, but having a beer with Bobby in his kitchen added some resemblance of normalcy, anyway. The older Winchester really needed that, too.

“That’s impossible,” the older hunter commented automatically. It obviously had happened however, so screw impossible.

“I know,” Dean admitted, “Look, can we talk about this when Sam’s here, too?”

It would be much easier to just go over the story once. Besides, Dean had this sick feeling at the pit of his stomach that his younger brother knew exactly how he had gotten out. The question was how they’d get the bitch to admit to what he clearly had done.

Bobby’s uncomfortable look said it all even before the older hunter opened his mouth to answer. “I haven’t seen Sam or heard from him in months.”

“What are you talking about? The Impala is right in front of your door!” Dean protested, even though he knew that the other man would have never lied about something like that. That didn’t make hearing the news any easier, however.

Bobby gestured for the older Winchester to sit down before he replied, “I got a call from Montana a few weeks back saying that they towed the car. There was a note with my number on the front dash.”

Dean’s knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip on the beer bottle. Sam giving up the Impala out of his own free will couldn’t mean anything good, that was for sure. Assuming that that was what had happened in the first place.

“All your things are still inside for all I could tell,” Bobby added with a sigh, “Whatever Sam got up to, he didn’t take anything other than what he was wearing at the time with him.”

The implications were clear enough. People didn’t just randomly leave all their worldly possessions behind, if they thought they would still need them.

“No,” Dean insisted, banging his fist against the table, “Sam wouldn’t have…”

It was a weak objection at best, however. The older Winchester had come here thinking that his brother had made a deal with a demon and the things Bobby had just told him would speak for that theory, too. The only thing that really didn’t make sense was that all this had happened weeks ago.

“You didn’t see him after-“ the older hunter started to say before he was cut off.

“I trusted you to take care of him, not to let him run off!” Dean interrupted him in a harsh tone. This was about the worst that could have happened. Coming back and immediately having to rip Sam a new one for selling his soul would have been bad enough, but coming back to find his brother missing was worse. There was no way to tell what Sam had even gotten himself into this way.

“Crawling out of your grave doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like that, boy!” Bobby retorted, “There is no stopping your brother when he wants to leave and you know it!”

The silence that fell between them was utterly uncomfortable and talking about the possibility that a demon had dragged Dean out of hell wasn’t any better. In the end they decided to pay one of Bobby’s contacts a visit. Pamela was a very talented psychic, who might be able to at least tell them a little more about the creature they were dealing with.

The older Winchester stood up from his chair with some renewed energy. They had a plan and that was the first step on the way of finding out what had happened to him and of finding out what had happened to Sam, as well.

Bobby really wasn’t looking forward to having to break the news to Dean that he had already asked her to locate the younger Winchester for him. Speaking from his experience, the moment Pamela said that she was completely unable to pick up on any signs of someone was the moment to break out the whiskey and mourn their loss.

 

* * *

 

 

When Sam woke up he was slightly disoriented. It was a feeling he was slowly getting used to, however. His nightmares left him in a state of panic in the worst case and confusion in the best case every other night, after all.

It didn’t help that he didn’t recognize the room he was in for a few long moments before his mind cleared enough to let him remember that he somehow had ended in Gabe’s bed the other night. Alright, he might have made a few stupid comments about the possibility of a boogeyman living in his room, because he clearly slept better on the couch than he did in his own bed. Gabriel had then suggested that for the sake of scientific curiosity they could test how the other available bed in the cabin agreed with Sam. In his rather exhausted state of mind, it had been after three a.m. after all, the younger Winchester hadn’t seen anything wrong with that suggestion and had even thought it was rather logical.

Being surprisingly well-rested the embarrassment set in very quickly that morning, however. At least, nothing more than a few pretty chaste good night kisses had happened. Alright, good night kisses and obviously some cuddling, but that was pretty much a given with two fully grown men sleeping in one bed that was meant for one and a half man at best. There was a joke about Gabriel’s size somewhere in that thought.

Getting out of bed Sam stretched a little. His injuries were healing just like they should which meant that he was nearly able to move normally again. His ribs only gave him slight troubles when he overdid it with the testing of his boundaries and the splints had come off his fingers a few days ago. The previously broken fingers still felt stiff from being held immobile for this long, but other than that they’d be okay again soon enough. The cast should be able to come off his arm by the end of the next week the latest, as well.

The younger Winchester knew that he probably should just leave the room and go to join Gabe in the kitchen where he was cooking breakfast for all it sounded, but now that he was there already he couldn’t help taking a look around the other man’s room. Hey, they were having this thing between them, so Sam actually felt entitled to doing the minimal amount of snooping around.

The room as a whole looked basically the same as his own room. The younger Winchester didn’t have bowls with candy on just about every shelf, however. Sam shook his head with a fond smile. Some day he’d have to ask Gabe how he managed to stay in shape like he did with his sweet tooth. That couldn’t be quite easy.

There also was a wide variety of books reaching from dictionaries of a couple of different languages over cookbooks to books of fairytales. What Sam was most interested in was the framed photograph on the desk, however. Looking at it the younger Winchester had turned his back to the door and thus hadn’t noticed Gabriel coming back into the room until the smaller man had his arms wrapped around his middle, stealing a glance at what he was looking at, too.

“Would be easier, if you were able to look over my shoulder, wouldn’t it?” Sam grinned, leaning into the embrace pretty much instinctively. It felt a little strange to him how much he liked those touches, but he didn’t get to linger on the feeling before Gabe hit his hip playfully because of the stupid joke.

“Is that your family?” the younger Winchester asked, nodding toward the picture he had been looking at. Gabe clearly was on it and Sam thought he had spotted Helen just before his thorough examination of the photograph had been interrupted.

“Adopted family,” Gabriel replied with a shrug that the younger Winchester didn’t see. He felt it however. The archangel could have put pictures or pretty much anything he would have wanted into the room he had furnished just to make it look normal to the other man, but he had chosen to actually go for one that showed him with a few of the other Norse Gods. Granted, they had never been big on taking family portraits, but that was what he had his powers for.

“It’s okay,” Gabriel told Sam after a few moments of silence during which the human obviously didn’t know what to say to the new information he had just gotten, “They’re all really decent people. Actually, I’m pretty much the black sheep there.”

The younger Winchester turned around to face the other man, so he could look into his face while they were having this conversation. It didn’t look like talking about these things pained Gabe too much, so Sam felt rather safe to keep asking.

“Did you know your birth family?” the younger Winchester wanted to know in a gentle tone. He didn’t want to push for information the other man didn’t want to give in a matter like this. There was no use denying that he was interested in the story, however.

“Yeah, I remember them well enough,” Gabriel answered honestly, deciding to add a little more before it was asked of him, anyway, “It was a pretty good family before things just fell apart. It’s okay though, I’ve had a long time to get over it.”

Not that he ever really had gotten over everything that had led to his departure from heaven, but most of the time he could make himself believe that he had. Sam apparently saw some of those feelings on his face, because he put one hand against Gabriel’s cheek and brushed his lips against the other man’s softly for a moment.

“I’m sorry, that’s gotta be hard,” the younger Winchester whispered, not breaking contact with the archangel even as he leaned back a little again.

“Oh, come on, Samsquatch. Let’s just have breakfast,” Gabriel replied dismissively, linking arms with the other man as he started to walk out of the room. To tell the truth, he had never meant to be quite that honest, but it seemed like he just couldn’t help himself at times where Sam was concerned. He couldn’t stay mad at the man, he couldn’t keep things on a purely friendly basis and he apparently couldn’t even find the will to lie to him when it wasn’t absolutely necessary. All of this was much more complicated than it should have ever been!


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

 

“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition,” the man, demon, monster, whatever he was in the trenchcoat said in a casual tone like they had been talking about the weather.

Dean realized that he should probably be scared of the guy – possibly even fucking terrified – but he had always been good at masking that sort of feeling, especially when he felt annoyed at the same time, anyway.

“Yeah, and I’m the one who’ll kick your ass, if you hurt him in any way!” the older Winchester replied in as much of a threatening tone as he could manage before he crouched down next to Bobby’s crumpled form to check his vitals. It seemed like the older hunter was merely unconscious, however. It was worryingly enough that Mr. Trenchcoat had managed to knock Bobby out with a single touch to his forehead, though.

“Your friend has not been harmed,” the dark-haired man replied, cocking his head in confusion over the human’s choice of words.

The puzzled look on the creature’s face made Dean wonder if there were special needs demons around. Great, he had been raised from the dead by a demon who was not all there. This really was getting better and better!

Not only had Pamela not been able to say anything about Sam’s whereabouts, her try to find out which demon or creature had gotten Dean out of hell had ended with an emergency trip to the hospital, too. The older Winchester had seen a lot of horrible things in his life, but watching the woman scream and writhe in agony as her eyes burned out of their sockets was pretty damn high up on the list of shit he never wanted to witness again.

At least, they had learned the name of the creature that most likely had pulled Dean from hell in the process. Summoning it probably hadn’t been the greatest idea ever – Bobby had repeatedly said so, too – but the older Winchester had been adamant that they weren’t going to get any answers in any other way. This thing was clearly their best shot for finding out what had happened to Sam, as well.

“Who the hell are you?” Dean asked in an all too clearly resentful tone. The demon was the reason why Bobby was currently unconscious and most likely the reason why Sam was missing. He could act as casual and somewhat nonthreatening as he wanted, he still was bad news.

“I am Castiel,” the man replied in that perfectly neutral tone he had used before as well. He also didn’t change anything about his posture and didn’t try to get closer to the older Winchester, either. The human had to admit that he was a little grateful for that.

“Let me rephrase that,” Dean groaned, hiding his nerves behind all the somewhat faked bravado he could muster up, “What the hell are you?”

He had known that he had to be talking to Castiel before the creature had confirmed it. They had summoned it by its name, after all. Talking all brave was much easier than admitting that he was freaked out by the man, too.

“Hell has nothing do to with it,” Castiel answered, “I am an angel of the Lord.”

“Since when do angels burn the eyes out of people?” Dean asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest defiantly.

“I warned her to look away. Very few people can stand looking at my true form without suffering great damage,” Castiel explained.

The older Winchester simply snorted, looking at the ‘angel’ with clear disbelieve. The flash of lightning that lit up the barn all of a sudden was a surprise in and of itself, but seeing the shadows of two big wings sprouting from Castiel’s back was what made Dean gape and step back in shock.

“Holy shit,” the older Winchester couldn’t help exclaiming. It clearly wasn’t one of his proudest moments, but it wasn’t every day that someone claimed to be an angel and had some sort of proof to back it up, too. Of course, the thing could just have tricked him, as well. It couldn’t be that hard to conjure up an illusion like this. Hell, ordinary magicians might be able to do it!

“You don’t believe me,” Castiel spoke with a slight frown. It looked like the human’s reluctance to just accept what he had been told and what he had seen puzzled him, yet again.

“Where is my brother? Where is Sam?” Dean asked instead of getting into a theological discussion about what he did and didn’t believe in. He actually didn’t care what kind of creature was standing in front of him, anyway. What he cared about was finding his brother and getting him back.

“I don’t know anything about his whereabouts,” Castiel replied honestly. The younger Winchester’s disappearance had been noticed by his superiors and they clearly hadn’t been happy about it, but there had been no indication that anyone had ever found as much as a trace of the human.

“You’re lying! He made a deal with you, didn’t he?” the older Winchester demanded to know. Not knowing was what was worst that very moment. Whatever had happened to his brother as soon as he knew he could do something about it, as long as he had no idea he couldn’t even begin to come up with a plan!

“I have told you, I am an angel, not a demon,” the angel answered. He also had told the human that he didn’t know where his brother was, but it looked like the older Winchester wasn’t exactly ready to listen to anything, yet.

“Where is Sam?” Dean basically yelled at the man, taking a few steps toward him, even though he knew that he would hardly appear threatening to a powerful creature like Castiel. Especially since he already knew that they didn’t have any weapons on them that could harm him. Both Dean and Bobby had tested the rock salt rounds on him when he first appeared and the older Winchester had also given the demon killing knife a try, after all.

“You still don’t believe me,” Castiel pointed out matter-of-factly which did nothing for Dean’s mood, either. He could admit that he was getting by far more worked up than was reasonable. He should have kept a level head and made sure that he and Bobby got out of the place unharmed and with the information they needed. Instead he had lost his temper.

“It doesn’t matter what I believe,” the older Winchester huffed.

“That is where you are wrong.”

 

* * *

 

 

So, the angels had finally gotten involved and Dean Winchester had been raised from hell.

Gabriel had to admit that he really wasn’t content with the changed circumstances. Keeping Sam with him had been reckless before, but adding a bunch of angels who’d start looking for him soon enough to the mix made it insanely dangerous.

Not to mention that Dean would do everything in his powers to get his brother back, as well. Granted, there was nothing much the human could do against the archangel. However, looking at how much the angels were going to need the older Winchester’s cooperation, it was very likely that they would be searching even more thoroughly.

“I thought you wanted to watch this,” Sam pointed out with a silent chuckle, running his fingers through Gabriel’s honey colored hair. It was quite obvious that the other man wasn’t paying attention to the movie at all.

If the younger Winchester was being honest he had to admit that he had spent a lot more time watching Gabe’s face than he had watching the movie as well, however. Gabriel’s head resting in Sam’s lap just gave him the perfect opportunity to just look though and he hadn’t been the one who had insisted on yet another Disney movie, anyway.

“I am paying attention,” the shorter man insisted, looking up into the younger Winchester’s amused face for a few moments before he randomly started to sing along with the song Arielle was singing on screen, “I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something’s starting right now. Watch and you’ll see, someday I’ll be, part of your world.”

Sam couldn’t quite decide if Gabriel’s very over the top demonstration of his singing voice or the fact that he apparently knew the movie well enough to sing along was funnier, but he couldn’t help laughing either way.

The archangel gave a small, obligatory pout at being laughed at, but actually he quite enjoyed hearing the human laugh. Happiness made him look younger and softer, too. Like Gabriel really needed any more reasons to feel drawn to him.

“You are a pretty damn big part of my world, already,” Sam commented with a gentle smile after he had calmed down, running his fingers through the archangel’s hair some more. Sometimes it surprised the younger Winchester how easy it had been to forget the problems they had had at the start and just establish this easy and comfortable relationship they were having. Helen had definitely been right when she had said that it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out, if he felt attracted to the other man.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Gabriel stated, amusement apparent in his voice as he sat up so he could look into the other man’s eyes better, “This is the movie that gets you all sappy? No comments on how the relationship isn’t going to work out anyway, ‘cause she fell in love pretty much only based on looks and is giving up everything for the guy while he gets to lean back and just go on living his life? No snarky outlook on their future together in which she’ll keep misunderstanding all sorts of human things and he’s inevitably going to get embarrassed and annoyed about it?”

True, the archangel liked the movie, but he had expected that the younger Winchester would find a few choice words about how unrealistic the entire scenario was. In a way he had gotten used to hearing those comments and he found them rather entertaining, especially because he knew that Sam understood that he was taking everything too serious. ‘Beauty and the Beast’ might have been the exception to the rule there, but Gabriel had put that DVD away after seeing what sort of effect it had had on the younger Winchester, anyway.

“You forgot to mention that she’s obviously a hoarder,” Sam added, the corners of his mouth twitching traitorously. He leaned in a bit, stroking the side of Gabriel’s neck with the back of his fingers.

“Now you’re just trying to mess with me,” the archangel chuckled, shaking his head even as he leaned into the touch. There was no use denying that he enjoyed having the younger Winchester around and most of all having his affection far more than he should have. Screw the angels and screw destiny along with them, he wasn’t going to give this up and he wasn’t going to allow anyone else to get their hands on his human! Especially none of the many people who clearly didn’t have the younger Winchester’s best interests in mind!

“Whoever needs twenty thingamabobs?” Sam countered, pulling Gabriel closer by the back of his neck until he could kiss him comfortably.

The archangel immediately tangled his hands in the younger Winchester’s hair, deepening the kiss until they had to part for some much needed oxygen. Gabriel took the opportunity while Sam was still trying to catch his breath to start unbuttoning the other man’s shirt.

“Can we not do this while Arielle is watching?” the younger Winchester chuckled, throwing a side glance toward the TV. However far they were going to take this, a Disney movie really wasn’t going to be the right kind of background noise provider.

Gabriel only took the time to hum his agreement before he quickly turned the TV off and carefully pulled Sam to his feet and toward his bedroom. A different location might be more comfortable as well while they were already taking a break.

It was only when the younger Winchester couldn’t help the silent pained gasp that the archangel remembered why pushing him back onto the bed hadn’t been a good idea, no matter how gently he had done it.

“I’m sorry, I forgot,” Gabriel apologized immediately, following the human on the bed, careful not to jostle him too much just in case. It didn’t look like he was still in pain, however. The way Sam grabbed him and pulled him closer for more heated kisses was a pretty good indication that he was feeling more than fine, too.

Unbuttoning the younger Winchester’s shirt the rest of the way didn’t take long since he had already done a pretty good job with the top buttons while they had still been on the couch. Sam had a bit of a harder time with Gabriel’s shirt, but he had gotten a lot of practice in doing things with his left hand only over the weeks.

“Okay, I gotta ask,” the younger Winchester stated seriously, even though his smile was wide enough to show off his dimples, “How does a sugar addict like you stay in shape like that?”

Gabriel didn’t answer, but grazed his teeth over Sam’s throat instead. He made sure not to use enough pressure to leave a mark or hurt in any way, but the human still shuddered noticeably under the touch. That was a detail that definitely needed to be filed away for further reference.

The archangel kissed his way down the younger Winchester’s neck, over his collarbone until he reached the area of his chest where the previously broken ribs were located. Gabriel looked up for a moment, seeing Sam watching him with rapt attention, his pupils slightly dilated and his breathing a bit too fast to be normal. It was also quite obvious that the younger Winchester didn’t quite know what to do with his hands that very moment.

“Lean back and enjoy, you can reciprocate some other time,” the archangel grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Chances were that they weren’t going to go quite as far as his words had just suggested, but the point that Sam should just kick back and relax still stood.

As soon as the younger Winchester gave in and got himself comfortable against the pillows, Gabriel continued his exploration of the body in front of him by trailing soft kisses over the human’s ribcage. There was no way that Sam would actually notice that he was putting just a little of his grace into the touch to help the finale phase of the healing along some more, but his breath hitched, anyway. He also spent quite a long time tracing the younger Winchester’s collarbones with his tongue, before he moved upward to nibble on his lower lip.

It should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody that Gabriel wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who usually moved one step at a time, leaving some time between the single steps to make sure that he didn’t rush into anything, especially when it came to sex. This case felt different however.

“Have a good night, Samsquatch,” the archangel said after another round of heavy kissing, raking his fingers through Sam’s hair even as he separated from him just enough to get the message across that it really was time to sleep now.

The younger Winchester blinked in confusion, but nodded dumbly when he saw how serious Gabriel was about this. He couldn’t say that he had expected this turn of events. Then again he had never felt tempted to say that Gabe was predictable.


	13. Chapter 13

**13**

 

“Same thing as at Olivia’s,” Dean said into the phone before he unlocked the Impala and got behind the wheel. It had admittedly not been too much of a surprise to find out that Jed was dead and that it had happened in the same way as with Bobby’s other hunter friend Olivia. The signs had spoken for it even before the older Winchester had reached his house to check. The sight of the torn apart body had still been awful and while everything pointed toward an attack by a ghost they weren’t any closer to finding out what to do against it.

“Yeah, here too,” Bobby replied with a deep sigh, getting back into his own car. He had tried to check in with two more of his contacts around the area and hadn’t been able to reach either one of them. At the second house he had already known what had happened before he had even left the car. All three windows facing the access road had been stained with blood.

“What the hell is going on, Bobby?” Dean asked, hitting the steering wheel in frustration, “A vengeful spirit? Yeah, okay. But three hunters at different locations in one day?”

It looked like they just weren’t getting anywhere with anything lately! Sam was still missing without a trace, Castiel the angel – if that was what he really was – hadn’t given them any answers either and now suddenly hunters were getting killed left and right.

“Hell if I know,” Bobby answered, “But I got a few ideas of things we should look into. Meet you back at my place.”

To tell the truth, the older hunter didn’t really have anything to go by, but he didn’t like the idea of Dean running around on his own. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the older Winchester had had a very hard time ever since he had been raised from hell. Bobby wouldn’t even pretend that he could begin to understand all the issues the younger man was dealing with, but he knew that being alone with his thoughts wasn’t good for him.

Dean pocketed his phone with a groan before he started the car and pulled out of the driveway. He reached for the radio to turn the music up before he switched it off completely instead.

It wasn’t like he had had Sam with him every single time he had gotten behind the wheel of the Impala in the past years, but leaving him at a motel room or some other place to be picked up again later was completely different to having absolutely no idea where he was. Hell, even knowing that he had left and didn’t want to come back anytime soon or ever had been preferable to this!

Not to mention that an additional pair of eyes and hands would have been very helpful at a time like this. Dean wasn’t going to say that Sam was better at figuring things out or that he knew more about supernatural stuff than he did, but it was a fact that they both worked best when they bounced ideas off each other. And even though he wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud, he simply missed his brother’s presence.

Okay, there was nothing they could do about that that very moment and he and Bobby were going to solve the case just as well on their own, he was sure.

The older Winchester tried to convince himself that driving around on his own for the time being was no big issue at all until he reached the next gas station and pulled over.

Splashing cold water into his face didn’t exactly solve anything, but it helped with clearing his head enough that the rest of the ride back to Bobby’s shouldn’t be too much of a problem. He just had to focus on the problem at hand and push everything else aside, not like he had never done that before.

“Hello Dean.” A female voice suddenly startled the older Winchester and he turned around quickly to face the intruder.

“Meg?” Dean asked disbelievingly. This day really was getting better and better. Meg was dead. Well, she was back in hell and the meatsuit was dead which meant… oh crap. “You’re the girl the demon possessed.”

“And people say your brother’s the smart one,” Meg commented nearly casually, the murderous intent was clear enough in her face, however.

The older Winchester gritted his teeth at the mention of his brother, but did his best to keep his cool. He didn’t really have a plan of how to get rid of the spirit yet, so going for de-escalation and stalling seemed to be the best options he had. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry doesn’t quite cut it!” the woman replied sharply. That much for de-escalation. “You threw me out a window, you left me to die choking on my own blood!”

Dean was pretty sure that pointing out that they hadn’t exactly left her to die in her own blood, because that had been the side-effect of exorcising the demon didn’t seem like the best idea. Besides, at the time when all those things had happened, they hadn’t known as much about demons as they did now. They had assumed that Meg had already been dead before they had thrown the demon out of the window and they hadn’t known shit about exorcisms. “If we had known the things we know now back then-“

“Who are you trying to kid here, Dean? You’d have done exactly the same thing,” Meg interrupted him, moving closer in the blink of an eye, grabbing his throat and bashing his head against the wall hard enough that Dean’s ears were ringing, “All you saw was the demon and you wanted to kill it no matter the price. While I was screaming for help-“

It was quite obvious that the woman had only just started to work herself up and get into the sort of murderous rage that most likely had left Olivia’s and Jed’s body parts scattered all over their homes. Before the same thing could happen to the older Winchester however, Meg suddenly disappeared.

The dark-haired woman dropped the pipe she had just used to fend the ghost off and offered her hand to help Dean back to his feet. The older Winchester took the offer and frowned at her. He was pretty sure that he had never seen the woman before, but something still seemed a little familiar about her.

“Welcome back. Looks like it took you a bit longer to get out than it took me,” the demon commented with a slight smirk as her eyes flashed black just for the split of a second. She let go of his hand and took a step back before the hunter could put two and two together. Better safe than sorry.

There were a couple of demons who could have greeted Dean like that, but there was basically only one that would not immediately try to kill him. “Ruby.”

“We have a lot to talk about,” Ruby stated instead of confirming his guess. Getting closer to the older Winchester now that he had angels watching him – an angel getting a soul out of hell was big enough news that all of hell knew about it – hadn’t been that high on her list of things she wanted to do. He had never been fond of her to begin with and those feathered pests made it even more dangerous. Angels were known for smiting demons first and asking questions later, after all. At the same time she knew that Dean was her best shot at finding Sam, however.

“Looks like we got things to deal with first,” the older Winchester replied. He didn’t keep Ruby from getting into his car and going back to Bobby’s with him, however.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you okay?” Sam asked with a small frown, putting the book he had been reading aside in favor of scooting closer to Gabriel and rubbing his shoulders, “You’ve been tense all day.”

The archangel leaned into the touch and put a smile on his lips that wasn’t completely natural. The bad thing about Sam clearly settling in and feeling better was that he was starting to notice things that he wouldn’t have questioned during his more depressed days. Not that Gabriel was seriously complaining about the better mood.

“Mhm, don’t worry. I’ve been expecting visitors, ‘s all,” the archangel replied with a shrug, giving the other man a short peck to the lips, “It’s better, if they don’t show up, anyway.”

Since the ‘visitors’ he had been speaking about were the angry spirits that were drawn to Sam like flies to honey he had been warding off for the past hours, it was better if they didn’t show up, indeed. Gabriel could read the signs for what they were and knew that a handful of ghosts were by no means the end of the problem, however.

“Looks like they only were delayed,” the younger Winchester commented with a smile when there was a knock on the door just a minute later.

Gabriel didn’t say that the guests he had thought about would hardly knock, but that would only confuse Sam, anyway. Besides, he already knew that the visitors that were in fact standing in front of the door might very well be bad news. Hel really was pushing it.

The younger Winchester yelped surprised when a big grey dog rushed through the door the moment it was opened and immediately started to sniff at every part of Sam he could reach and ran circles around him, brushing against his legs, nearly knocking him over in his enthusiasm.

“I see you brought Wolfie,” Gabriel greeted Hel with a bit of a sharp undertone.

The goddess merely shrugged. She could hardly explain how Fenrir had smelled their father and the human on her when they had met and had demanded to come along the next time she went to visit them. Not to mention that her brother had been very enthusiastic about seeing their father and getting to know Sam.

“Hey Wolfie,” the younger Winchester spoke to the dog scratching him behind the ears which he really seemed to enjoy a lot. In fact, he kept pawing on Sam’s thigh until he crouched down for some serious cuddling which prompted the dog to lick his cheek.

“His name’s Fenrir,” Hel told the human with a nice smile, “He’s part wolf.”

Sam nodded. If the animal hadn’t worn a bright blue collar and if he hadn’t obviously come with Helen, he would have thought he was a wolf earlier. This one clearly was domesticated and very friendly, however. Fenrir also seemed like a very fitting name for a dog that was part-wolf.

“Could you take a look at my car? It’s been making strange noises,” the goddess asked her father in a completely casual tone that didn’t give away that she really only wanted to talk to him alone. It looked like she wouldn’t have had to bother with the pretense, however. Fenrir was doing an awesome job of distracting the younger Winchester from everything else.

As soon as they were outside Gabriel dropped the nonchalant façade and gave his daughter a demanding glare. “What the hell did you think bringing him here?”

“Please, of all of us he’s the least likely to ever betray you in any way and you know it,” Hel replied, waving her hand dismissively, “You can yell at me, if I ever think it’s a great idea to get Jörmungandr involved in this.”

Her second oldest brother wasn’t a bad or wicked person per se, but he still held a lot of resentment against their father for the same thing that Fenrir had brushed off nearly too easily and that Hel might not have forgiven and forgotten but had gotten over a long time ago.

“Looks like we have bigger problems, anyway,” the goddess added, looking at her father worriedly, “What the hell is going on with the world?”

In her line of work Hel usually kept an eye on all things death-related and there had been quite a few unusual occurrences very recently. Not to mention that the demons were acting up and angels had set foot on the Earth again. All in all a few very worrying things were going on.

“What are you talking about?” Gabriel asked with a frown that was of course fake, but he had a lot of practice in faking all sorts of things even in front of his own family.

“Yeah, right,” Hel huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “Don’t try to play me for a sucker, dad. You know what I mean and you know more about this than you let on.”

“Hey, I probably know less than you do. If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been outside that much lately,” the archangel shrugged, smirking. Sure, he had made and appearance here and there, so nobody had a reason to think that he was hiding all of a sudden, but he hadn’t spent that much time away from the cabin in person. He had his doppelgangers for usual business, after all. That didn’t mean that he didn’t have the sort of information Hel obviously wanted, however.

“Okay, I always figured you were more comfortable keeping your secrets, but I think this is the point where you should know that you don’t have as many secrets as you think you do,” the goddess stated seriously, “I’ll admit that I never knew exactly what it was, but the name you gave Sam… that was a pretty good clue.”

Gabriel actually froze after hearing that. He should have expected that that one was going to come back to bite him in the ass. He really should have. He hadn’t, though. Mostly because he had figured saying that he had had to use some rather ordinary name would be enough of an explanation, if anybody should actually ask. Of course, Hel knew him better than that and even if it had only been a lucky guess on her side, there was no use trying to deny it now.

“This might take a while,” the archangel sighed deeply before he began to talk.

 

* * *

 

 

“Excellent job with the witnesses,” Castiel stated seriously.

The angel looked somewhat out of place in Bobby’s kitchen, but with his stiff posture and nearly unnaturally emotionless expression, he would have looked out of place basically everywhere else, too.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” Dean snorted. Alright, it hadn’t even crossed the older Winchester’s mind that the angel should have been there to help them out before, but now that he was there and obviously knew about what had happened, Dean realized that Castiel should have been the one to assist them instead of Ruby. A fucking demon had fought for their side while the freaking angel had been elsewhere!

“This was not the only crisis we were dealing with. In fact, most of the other battles are still going on,” Castiel explained without changing anything about his posture or tone.

The older Winchester was starting to get really annoyed with the angel’s apparent unfeelingness. “What are you doing here then?”

“We need your help,” the angel answered. The fight to keep Lilith from breaking the sixty-six seals had only just begun and the human was meant to be a great help in it. This far he seemed to be much more unwilling than they had expected, however.

“Forget it. I’ve got other things to do,” Dean shot back defiantly. He had had to put his search for Sam on the backburner for too long already. He knew how these things went, the longer somebody was missing the smaller the chances of ever finding them again and his little brother had been gone for an awfully long time.

“I raised you from hell for this, Dean Winchester. Fulfill your purpose or get thrown back to where you came from,” Castiel stated in a warning tone which was about the first time that the angel showed clear emotions. He was getting frustrated as well for all it looked like.

“You son of a bitch! My brother is missing, I have to find him!” Dean yelled, letting his anger prevent the words that he just been thrown at him from sinking in. If he had seriously considered the possibility that he would end up back in hell very quickly he might have been more willing to cooperate immediately.

“Six of my brothers died in the field today,” the angel retorted, giving the human a hard look.

“You should be able to understand me a little better then,” the older Winchester argued, “I don’t even know, if my brother is dead or alive!”

“This is not about my ability to identify with your situation,” Castiel pointed out, stoically again, “We have work to do.”

Dean came pretty close to either yelling in frustration, or trying to murder the bastard. He knew that yelling even more than he already had would only get Bobby to come running and him trying to kill Castiel would be a one way ticket straight back to hell, however.

“If your brother were dead, we would know. His whereabouts are a mystery even to us, however,” the angel finally stated, hoping to get the older Winchester in a mindset in which he would be able to listen to reason with it.

Dean nodded curtly. It might not have been an awful lot of information, but it was something at least.


	14. Chapter 14

**14**

 

Angels didn’t sleep, or more specifically they didn’t have to sleep. Gabriel sincerely doubted that most of his brothers even knew what they were missing by always staying awake. He had realized early on that he enjoyed resting and letting his mind drift. Besides, it wasn’t like he was putting himself at risk by doing it. Even when he was asleep – the angel variety of asleep, anyway – he was still aware enough of his surroundings to react to anything that might come up in a moment. And that was how a simply quiet groan from the man sleeping next to him brought Gabriel back to complete awareness.

The archangel knew that Sam wasn’t in pain. He would have picked up on that immediately. The most likely explanation always was another nightmare these days, anyway. He had just been about to shake the human awake gently when he realized that the younger Winchester didn’t show any signs of distress. His face seemed mostly relaxed and he wasn’t kicking or balling his fists which he usually did when he was in the throes of one of his night terrors.

Gabriel settled back behind the younger Winchester – it never failed to amuse him that somehow he was the big spoon in their sleeping arrangement most of the time – and was about to let himself drift off again when another noise came over the other man’s lips.

“Gabe,” Sam half sighed, half moaned, burrowing his face further into the pillow.

Now that definitely piqued the archangel’s interest. He felt very tempted to just take a peak into the younger Winchester’s mind, but this hardly counted as an emergency and somewhere along the way invading his privacy like that had started to feel wrong.

Instead, Gabriel carefully moved until he was pressed up against Sam’s back as much as possible without waking him up. The result was another little sigh that definitely sounded pleased.

The archangel grinned slightly and decided to up the game just a bit as he allowed his hand to rest on top of the taller man’s hip, drawing little circles over the boxer shorts Sam had decided to wear to bed. Gabriel had not exactly anticipated that this would get the younger Winchester to roll his hips ever so slightly, he was far from complaining about the friction that caused, however.

“Sam, you really should wake up,” the archangel whispered into the other man’s ear, “Pretty sure we can make that dream of yours reality.”

The husky tone combined with the kisses Gabriel had started to plant all over the side and the back of Sam’s neck made the human open his eyes just a few moments later. This time the content sigh definitely was for the other man who was still rubbing his thumb over his hip.

“Good dreams?” the archangel asked, grinning against the taller man’s neck before he redoubled his efforts of nipping and sucking on all the flesh he could reach comfortably.

The younger Winchester felt his face grow hot because of the question. He had had a pretty good and very graphic dream and hearing that Gabriel obviously had noticed was more than a little awkward.

“No worries, you didn’t moan… too much,” the archangel couldn’t help saying, letting his hand move from Sam’s hip to his stomach, putting his palm over his belly button to keep him from moving away. Getting the younger Winchester to feel just a little embarrassed was all fun and games until he decided to break the contact between them because of it, after all.

“And you said my name once,” Gabriel added in a husky tone, trailing kisses from the back of Sam’s neck right to the spot behind his ear before he spoke on, “Very flattering.”

The younger Winchester sighed, not completely out of contentment this time, but leaned back into the touch, anyway. It wasn’t like the other man hadn’t already known that he was very attracted to him before.

“Think I interrupted that dream before it could reach its climax,” Gabriel pondered, letting his hand inch lower as he spoke. Yes, he had definitely woken Sam up a little too early. Now that was a mistake that he needed to make up for.

“Do you always talk…?” the younger Winchester tried to ask. He didn’t get to finish the question before the archangel’s hand reached its destination and most coherent thoughts fled his mind with a drawn out moan, however.

The archangel would have chuckled at that, if Sam hadn’t chosen that very moment to move back against him. To be honest, in a selfish moment – and Gabriel usually had quite a few of those – he had already thought that it was a damn pity that the younger Winchester was right handed and they had scheduled the removal of the cast for the next day which would be a little too late to be useful for this wake up call of the erotic kind. However, if Sam kept grinding back against him while making those sweet little moans and gasps, Gabriel didn’t think he’d be in need for reciprocation by the end of this.

With all the previously unresolved sexual tension running through both their veins, it didn’t take long for either one of them to tumble over the edge. The younger Winchester was still trying to catch his breath when the archangel moved them, so he could lean over Sam and steal the air right out of his lungs again.

“Good morning,” Gabriel grinned, making himself comfortable halfway on top of the other man. The little angelic assistance the other day should have made sure that the younger Winchester’s ribs wouldn’t bother him again, but he still made sure not to put any pressure on them.

Sam smiled slightly dopily and captured Gabriel’s lips in another kiss before he leaned back into the pillows with a contented sigh.

The comfortable silence between them didn’t last for long, however. Strangely enough it wasn’t the archangel who broke it, though.

“Do you ever think about the future? I mean, like, what you want to do with your life?” the younger Winchester asked. The small frown on his face was a clear sign that he was thinking by far too deep thoughts for someone who had just had a pretty damn good orgasm.

“Do you always talk…?” Gabriel parroted the words Sam had used on him earlier, letting his voice trail off toward the end of the question, since he never had let the other man finish it before.

“Hey, you get to talk during, I get to talk after. It’s only fair,” the younger Winchester lectured, ending his statement with a chuckle.

“The problem with your argumentation is that you just asked me a question, so you obviously expect me to talk, too,” the archangel shot back, propping his chin on the taller man’s shoulder, so he could look back at him more easily.

“Okay, fine, I’ll talk then,” Sam decided with a small shrug. It took a few long moments in which he only ghosted his fingers up and down Gabriel’s spine before he actually said something, however. “Someday… someday I’ll get out of here.”

The younger Winchester didn’t know it, but his words made the archangel’s blood run cold. He had thought that he had managed to make things comfortable for Sam in the past weeks, he had thought that the human wouldn’t want to escape, because they clearly had become friends and – well, duh – more than friends and he really hadn’t anticipated just how hurtful it would be to hear that the younger Winchester really only wanted to get away.

“I’ll walk out that door and I’ll do a whole lot of normal things,” Sam went on, smiling, “Maybe I’ll travel. I think, I’d like that. And… hey, it’s my dream, I can do what I want, right?”

Gabriel did his best to smile back as he nodded slightly. He wasn’t even sure what made him sadder, that the younger Winchester apparently couldn’t wait to get to leave or that the life that was waiting for him outside of the safe bubble the archangel had built for both of them wouldn’t allow him to get what he obviously dreamed of. Okay, traveling was technically a part of hunting, but he doubted that that sort of road trip was what the taller man had had in mind when he had voiced that wish.

“Okay, then I’ll take you with me,” Sam finished with a hopeful grin that showed off his dimples and even made his eyes shine a little.

Gabriel didn’t respond and instead grabbed the human to kiss him senseless once more, pointedly ignoring the sharp stab of guilt that had just hit him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Fucking angels!” Dean yelled, kicking the next best thing he could reach, which happened to be the waste basket, against the wall as hard as he could. His head was still spinning with all the information his little trip to the past had given him, but most of all he felt the frustration that had built up ever since he had been brought back from hell reach its peak. He hadn’t managed to safe his grandparents from the yellow eyed demon and he hadn’t managed to protect his mother, she obviously had still made that deal that ended up killing her ten years later. He had completely and utterly failed.

Not to mention that no matter how hard he tried, there was absolutely no trace of his brother. Nobody had seen him, nobody had heard anything of him and it wasn’t even possibly to say where he had been seen last. It looked like he had done his best to go off the radar even before he had just vanished. The older Winchester absolutely hated the all too obvious implications of that, so he did his best to push the thought away as much and as far as he could.

Dean let out another frustrated shout, before he grabbed the keys to the Impala, driving to the nearest liquor store he could find. There was absolutely no chance of saving anything about this day, but maybe he could at least drink himself into a coma or something.

Apparently, the day couldn’t get any better, but it still could get worse.

“I’d have thought you’d be interested in keeping in touch,” Ruby stated sarcastically, leaning against the wall next to the door to the older Winchester’s motel room.

“What for? You said it yourself, you have no idea where Sam is,” Dean retorted, glaring at the demon. He really hadn’t needed to see the bitch on top of everything. It only served to remind him that not even the angels or demons knew what had happened to his younger brother, too. As far as he could trust that either of those groups was telling him the truth. As little as he liked it, it seemed like Ruby was more trustworthy in this matter.

“I said that I couldn’t find him anywhere, but if we worked together-,“ the demon started, following Dean into the room after the older Winchester surprisingly enough broke the ever present salt line for her sake.

“Forget it!” the older Winchester interrupted her in a definite tone, giving the woman a hard stare, “Last time you worked with us ended with Lilith kicking our asses seven ways to Sunday and me being a hellhound chew toy!”

He already regretted letting the demon into his room. He had to admit that he was willing to listen to her as long as there was even the slightest sliver of hope that she would actually know a way that could help him locate Sam, however.

“You weren’t the only one who went to hell that day,” Ruby replied coolly, “Lilith ripped me out of my body and sent me back to the pit, as well.”

The older Winchester obviously wasn’t impressed by that bit of information, but she hadn’t expected him to be in the first place. As long as he helped her to get Sam back, he could act however hostile he wanted. She had lost by far too much time already.

“What do you have in mind?” Dean asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “You have a plan, spit it out and get it over with.”

Chances were high that whatever plan the bitch had was nothing that the older Winchester would ever consider, but he wanted to hear it, anyway. There was a small possibility that her idea would give him some clues for things that could actually be done. Alright, if he was being completely honest, he’d also have to say that he would be willing to temporarily work with her again, if there really was a realistic chance that it would give him his little brother back.

“A simple spell,” Ruby shrugged casually.

“Yeah, right,” the older Winchester snorted, “You wouldn’t need me, if it was that simple.”

Not to mention that he or Bobby had used every free moment they had had to do their research and neither one of them had been able to find anything. If there had been a ‘simple spell’ as the demon put it, then they would have found it!

“Fine, it’s blood magic,” Ruby answered, “You and Sam are blood, there are various rituals-“

“You don’t even know, if this is gonna work, do you?” Dean huffed. If she knew that it was going to work, she wouldn’t need various rituals, after all. Not to mention that she hadn’t exactly sounded like she was completely confident in her own plan.

“How should I? But it’s an option. It’s not like you have a better plan,” the demon retorted, “And we are running out of time here. Lilith has her followers looking for Sam, too.”

She didn’t have to say what would happen, if they got him first. The implications were clear enough. The only good thing about Lilith having her underlings search for the younger Winchester was that it was another thing that spoke for him still being alive.

“How would I even know that you wouldn’t use my blood to work some serious voodoo on me or Sam?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow, “And if you mention the word ‘trust’ in your answer just once, I’ll have to exorcise you. Slowly.”

Ruby huffed in annoyance before she turned around to leave. The talk wasn’t getting anywhere and she really had better things to do. Not to mention that angels were watching over the human still and they’d hardly be overjoyed to see her around him. Just a moment before she left the room, she turned back to the older Winchester to say, “I am on your side, I thought we had established that. But I guess we just found out where Dean Winchester’s love for his brother ends.”

No amount of alcohol was going to make Dean feel any better about himself or the situation in general, but now that he had bought it already, he wasn’t going to let it go to waste, either.


	15. Chapter 15

**15**

 

It only took Gabriel one moment to get from sleeping to awake, but it took Sam less than that to sit up ramrod straight, eyes wide open but unseeing nevertheless. His skin was covered in cold sweat and he was breathing much too fast, his lips slightly parted without a sound coming out of his mouth, however.

“Sam,” Gabriel said in a gentle tone, putting the palm of his right hand against the younger Winchester’s cheek in a try to make him look at him. It quickly became apparent that he could make Sam turn his head and look into his direction, he was obviously not seeing him, though.

“Come on, Sammy,” the archangel stated a little more urgently. It didn’t exactly have the desired effect on the human, however.

The only word that made it through the haze of the nightmares the younger Winchester was still trapped in was ‘Sammy’, but his mind quickly transformed Gabriel’s voice into that of another man as the word bounced around in his head and got repeated over and over. A man Sam couldn’t remember ever having heard say a thing. He had heard him scream in his dreams ever other night, though.

The younger Winchester hadn’t made the conscious decision to fight the person who was touching him, but Gabriel still had his hands full trying to keep him from hurting mostly himself. It wasn’t like he could have done any lasting damage to the archangel with his bare hands.

“I’m not really into the whole sadomasochist thing, so you can stop trying to hit me,” the archangel grunted when he finally managed to secure Sam’s arms and keep him from kicking at the same time. He basically had to straddle the taller man to achieve that without using too much of his angelic powers.

It took a few more seemingly endless moments before the younger Winchester’s body got nearly limp in Gabriel’s hold, probably signalizing that he was starting to become more aware of the things that were actually going on around him. Either that, or he was falling back asleep, but as these things usually went sleep wouldn’t be on the menu for quite some time.

“You back with me now?” the archangel asked into the silence that had fallen over the room once more before he released the other man’s arms. It was a bit of a risk, but he needed at least one of his hands to force Sam’s head up, so he could look into his face.

“Oh kiddo,” Gabriel sighed, brushing some hair out of the younger Winchester’s face tenderly before he pulled him against his chest, rubbing his back. The puppy eyes were bad enough under normal circumstances, but they were awfully hard to stand when they were brimming with tears, too.

Sam barely had enough time to wrap his arms around the smaller man’s frame and hold on tight before the sobs that were finally breaking free were wracking his body. The way Gabriel was holding him and stroking his hair and his back was welcome, but it failed to make him feel better, all the same. The feeling of an ice cold hand squeezing his heart wouldn’t leave just like the pictures of milky white eyes and an unseen assailant tearing his brother apart swirling around his mind demanded to stay.

The archangel carefully moved them both until they were lying on their sides, still wrapped around each other. He let Sam tuck his head under his chin and generally make himself much smaller than he should ever be able to.

Gabriel continued to make soft soothing noises and just rub circles against Sam’s back until the sobs decreased in volume. Looking at how hard the human was still shaking and at how long it had taken to get to that point, chances were he simply had cried himself hoarse, however.

“I’ve got you, Sam. You’re safe,” the archangel whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to the younger Winchester’s forehead, which caused the human to tighten the already strong grip he had on him, “Everything will be okay.”

Sam shook his head without much conscious thought on his part, letting out one more shuddering sob before he mumbled in a hoarse tone, “No, it won’t. He’s dead… but he can’t be. I need him.”

Gabriel wasn’t even sure if the younger Winchester even realized what exactly he had just spoken about, but that didn’t make anything better, either.

 

* * *

 

 

“What the hell is all this?” Bobby asked, pointing at the strange décor of the room he had just broken into to save the older Winchester’s sorry ass. Saying that he had been worried when Dean had revealed that he had come across a case and was going to take it on his own would have been an understatement. Granted, the younger man was a damn good hunter, but he definitely wasn’t on top of his game. As much as he refused to lose a word about it, his time in hell was clearly eating away on him and the fact that his brother was still missing without a trace left him even more reckless and distracted.

“Shapeshifter, crazier than most,” Dean snorted, stepping over the dead body of the shifter that still looked like Dracula. The fact that Jamie, the cute waitress, was lying next to the monster, her neck bending in a strange way was one more thing to add to a long list of regrets and reasons to drink.

The older Winchester didn’t think that the shifter had even meant to kill her, but there was no doubt that he would have killed Dean, if he had had the chance before Bobby had shot him.

“You don’t say,” the older hunter commented. The house was more like a movie set for all he could see. As things were, the details didn’t matter all too much anymore. The monster was dead and Dean seemed unharmed. “What were you thinking, going after the shifter without any backup, anyway?”

Dean shrugged, looking around the room thoughtfully for a long moment. Chances were they could just salt the bodies and then burn the entire house down. In this neighborhood someone was going to call the fire department sooner rather than later for sure, but with all the flammable things around they’d be burned to a crisp before they arrived.

“I had to do something!” the older Winchester snapped, glaring at Bobby when the older hunter grabbed his shoulder without intending to let go again before he had gotten an answer.

They both knew that he hadn’t only talked about having to do something about the killings in the town. It was more that he had had to work on something that had a chance of succeeding for once.

“We’re going to find something on Sam eventually,” the older hunter tried to sound reassuring, but he knew that it was an empty promise. They had looked into everything they had been able to get their hands on and had tried different things, but nothing had given them even the slightest clue.

“No, we won’t! It’s been over a month, Bobby! Over a month and nothing!” Dean practically yelled. The angels were no help, either. Castiel had only said that this was not part of his orders and that they were fighting other battles when he had last seen the feathered dick and had actually asked him for help. The only one who was really offering him anything was that fucking demon, Ruby. She was all too keen on just trying some of her blood spells that were supposed to either force Sam out of hiding, or give Dean some sort of vision or something. Yeah, it didn’t sound like something that would be all too safe, especially since the demon would have every reason to withhold crucial information like ‘By the way, it’ll make your head explode as soon as you’re stupid enough to tell me where your brother is’. The older Winchester still found himself thinking about calling her to give it a shot anyway more than once each and every day.

“Let’s just burn this place down and be done with it,” Dean added in an ice cold tone that made shivers run down Bobby’s back.

The older hunter didn’t like to admit it, but the older Winchester was starting to not only worry but scare him.

 

* * *

 

 

As expected Sam and Gabriel hadn’t gotten any more sleep during what had been left of the night. It didn’t matter much to the archangel, but the human clearly was mentally and physically exhausted. His refusal to just go and take a nap was understandable, however.

“Do you want me to put a movie on for you?” Gabriel asked, giving the taller man a smile when he lifted his head up from where he was lying on the sofa for a moment. Hell, the younger Winchester could have asked for just about everything that moment and the archangel would have done his damndest to give it to him just to make him feel a bit better.

“I don’t think I can stand any more Disney movies right now,” Sam commented, trying to sound a little teasing. The only thing he achieved was to sound as if he was trying very hard to sound teasing. That would have to do for the moment then.

“Too bad,” Gabriel replied with a shrug, “I think ‘The emperor’s new groove’ is a pretty good one. The guy’s funny, especially as a Llama.”

The archangel wasn’t all that tempted to disregard the human’s wishes and start the movie anyway, however. He settled for sitting on the floor in front of the couch, reaching up to comb his finger’s through Sam’s hair instead.

“Are you feeling any better at least?” Gabriel asked after a few moments of silence. It was easy to tell that the younger Winchester wasn’t feeling fine, but there were a lot of different possible shades of feeling bad. The archangel would settle for the taller man feeling a little less bad than he had before as things were.

“I… yeah, sure. I’m just tired,” Sam answered, giving one of those short smiles he put on his face when he felt he should be smiling but didn’t feel like it at all. They weren’t even convincing to people who didn’t actually give a damn about his wellbeing, however.

Gabriel really wished that he could have made the other man forget everything that had happened in the past 24 hours, but there was no safe way of doing that. Sam’s mind was putting up more and more of a fight the more the archangel influenced it. Only God – oh the irony – knew what might happen, if he tried to block another part of the younger Winchester’s memories from his access.

“I’m sorry,” Sam added silently, extending his right arm to stroke the other man’s cheek, “Guess I’m not very good company right now.”

Gabriel shook his head with a huff and forced the younger Winchester to scoot over so he could lie on the couch next to him, even though it was a pretty damn tight fit. He should have snapped a bigger sofa into existence now that he thought about it, but snuggling with his guest hadn’t exactly seemed like something that was going to happen when he had set operation ‘Sasquatch MIA’ – working title – into motion.

“These things are beyond your control, Sam,” Gabriel pointed out once they had both made themselves as comfortable as possible, “There’s nothing you have to be sorry for.”

Sam smiled again, a little more genuine this time. Rationally, he knew that the other man was right. He couldn’t help thinking that he probably deserved all this for things he had done in the past that he couldn’t even remember and only had a very vague understanding of, because of the few things Gabe had told him, however. The younger Winchester wasn’t quite sure how he deserved to have someone who clearly cared about him this much, though.

“I… I need you, too. You know that, right?” Sam asked a little meekly. He remembered saying that he needed to have his brother back the previous night, but it definitely felt like a fact that he wouldn’t be doing anywhere near as good as he did most days, if it weren’t for Gabriel.

The archangel hummed his agreement, pressing a quick kiss to the taller man’s lips. He could stop himself from feeling too guilty about the things he had done and still did to the younger Winchester by reasoning that he’d have it worse back in his old life most of the time, but it looked like he couldn’t convince himself enough to make the really uncomfortable tight feeling in his chest go away. The human wasn’t quite done causing him inner turmoil, however.

“I love you,” Sam whispered, tightening his grip on Gabriel as if he was afraid that the other man would just leave after that confession. The worries weren’t completely unfounded, as well.

“Don’t say that,” the archangel sighed. A very small part of him actually was mad at the human for making the bad conscience he had had pushed to the very back of his mind flare up enough so it couldn’t be ignored anymore. The greatest part of him was trapped somewhere between joy and intense guilt, however.

Sam ducked his head and refused to meet Gabriel’s eyes as he tried to let the other man go. If this relationship they had probably wasn’t a relationship at all but only the shorter man’s way of letting the poor invalid have some fun, then he didn’t want that sort of intimacy anymore. It would hurt too bad to know that he didn’t and quite possibly never would love him, if he kept touching him like that and how the hell could he even touch him with all that tenderness and care when he didn’t feel anything like that?

“No, Sam, it’s not like that,” Gabriel quickly reassured the taller man, putting his palm against the back of his neck to hold him close, “For all it’s worth, you’ve got my heart and if I had a soul, you’d have that, too. I just don’t… You shouldn’t…”

Sam frowned. It wasn’t even the part about him not having a soul that was confusing him the most. After all, if Gabriel chose this moment to point out that spiritual concepts like souls and possibly religion as a whole were lost on him, that was strange but okay.

Helen’s warning about Gabe not being a reliable person came to the younger Winchester’s mind and from what he had heard he figured that the shorter man was talking about something like that just now, too.

“I do love you,” Sam said once more, forcing himself to look straight in the other man’s eyes, so he could gauge his reaction better. When he found he quite liked what he saw he added, “You’ll have to deal with that.”

The archangel huffed out a laugh before he nodded seriously and leaned in for a short but heavy make out session that left the younger Winchester with the first really happy smile of the day on his face.

Later that night when Sam was sleeping with his head resting on Gabriel’s chest, having been lulled to sleep by the archangel’s heartbeat, the shorter man kept running his fingers through the younger Winchester’s hair as he tried to come to a decision. Yes, he would have to deal with this…


	16. Chapter 16

**16**

 

“I don’t have any fucking sweets. This is a motel, why would I?” Dean more or less yelled at the little astronaut standing in front of him, knowing full well that the kid hadn’t deserved that sort of outburst. The person on the other end of the line on the other hand…

“And what the hell are you laughing about? So, we doing this or not?” the older Winchester snapped before Ruby gave him the affirmative and he got to close the damn phone and throw it on the table carelessly.

Dean didn’t allow himself to linger on thoughts of what he had just agreed to, what he had just asked of the demon to do for him, actually. If he had analyzed the situation he would have had to admit that he had been the one to call Ruby and he had been the one to say that they were going to do that damn ritual, after all.

The older Winchester told himself that he didn’t have any time to get all introspective, anyway. He was working a case here, dammit! A pretty big one for all it looked like and he had lost a lot of time because he had had to work on his own and had taken longer to talk to all the witnesses and do the research than he should have.

At first it had looked like a witch with some sort of grudge against the poor bastard who had swallowed razor blades with his candy, because of a well-placed hex-bag. Standard witches were bad enough already – humans who threw their morale compass out of the window to practice magic were fucking crazy – but it looked like this one wasn’t satisfied with being the your normal neighborhood psychopath. No, this one wanted to work a ritual to raise Samhain and from what Dean had gathered that would be pretty damn bad.

The older Winchester turned around, wanting to grab his keys to talk to that college professor again, the guy had rubbed him in all the wrong ways, when he came face to face with Castiel who apparently had zapped himself into the room.

“One of these days, I’m going to shoot you and I won’t be sorry for it!” Dean exclaimed, raising his index finger for good measure. Of course, bullets wouldn’t do much damage to the angel, but they’d probably hurt him. If he continued to just show up whenever the fuck he wanted and scare the crap out of Dean to top it all off, he’d completely deserve that, too.

“And you’re bringing friends now?” the older Winchester added, pointing toward the other angel who was at least keeping his distance for now, “What? Is this the Dean Winchester peep show?”

That both angels completely ignored what he had just said didn’t help Dean’s mood, either.

“The raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?” Uriel asked, making Castiel’s usual stoic tone sound friendly in comparison.

“My mother taught me not to talk to strangers,” Dean snarked. He couldn’t help showing the angels that he wasn’t working with them voluntarily. The dicks completely refused to help with the one thing he had asked of them and knowing that he more or less had to do their bidding made him all the more frustrated. If that showed in the kind of insolence that might be called pretty childish, Dean was strangely okay with that.

“Dean, have you located the witch?” Castiel wanted to know before his brother and the older Winchester could get into a fight with each other. The angel might have realized that he lacked understanding for the ways of the humans in the past weeks, but he was sure that Uriel and Dean were bound to clash, anyway.

“No,” the older Winchester answered in a harsh tone, “Are you expecting me to pull that sort of information out of my ass? ‘Cause I sure as hell haven’t had enough time to figure this out. I’m not working alone-“

“You are now,” Uriel interrupted the human’s rant, giving him a hard stare that would have made most people cower in fear.

“Who the fuck are you?” Dean snapped, looking from the unknown angel to Castiel, clearly demanding an answer. Just showing up in someone’s motel room without introducing yourself was seriously bad style, but rubbing salt into wounds of the guy whose motel room you just invaded without even introducing yourself was a reason for an ass full of rock salt usually!

“This is Uriel. He is a specialist, as you would say,” the dark-haired angel answered before things could escalate even further. However, it didn’t help with the de-escalation that he only waited for a moment before he added, “You should leave this town as quickly as possible, Dean.”

“What? Why?” the older Winchester asked with a deep frown. Just a minute ago Castiel had made it clear that finding and killing that witch was damn important, how was he supposed to do that, if he left the town?

“It will not be a town for much longer,” Uriel commented much too casually given what he had just spoken about.

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Dean demanded, looking at Castiel rather than Uriel. He didn’t expect the taller one of the two angels to give him anything like a reasonable answer, so he’d stick with talking to the one who didn’t make him want to run him over with the Impala repeatedly, at least not all the time.

“The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals. We have to prevent it from breaking at any cost,” Castiel explained matter-of-factly, “We will have to destroy the town.”

“Son of a bitch,” the older Winchester exclaimed, “There are over a thousand people here!”

“It is unfortunate but unavoidable,” the angel replied, sounding like he really felt a little sorry about what he had just said. Dean wasn’t exactly in the mood to give the angel credit for showing the minimal amount of sympathy for the people they were about to smite, however.

“No, forget it. You’re not doing anything like that, you hear me?” the older Winchester stated decisively, “I’m going to find that witch and save your precious seal.”

It was obvious enough that there was a silent conversation going on between the two angels and Dean wasn’t exactly happy to have to witness it without knowing what the fuck the dicks with wings were deciding on. At least, they didn’t take long until Castiel gave the older Winchester a tight nod and a smile so tiny that he might as well have imagined it.

“Soldiers of God my ass,” Dean grumbled as soon as the two angels had left him alone again, “Fucking useless is what you are.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy,” Sam chuckled as Fenrir kept licking his hands and finally his neck when the human crouched down to cuddle the big dog, who actually was a wolf with a collar.

Gabriel shook his head with a fond smile. Alright, he hadn’t been happy when Hel had brought Fenrir along for the first time, but seeing how well the wolf and the human got along forced him to admit that having the big puppy around was nice. Not to mention that Fenrir never failed to show his appreciation of his father with adoring looks and the immediate following of any command he could think of giving him.

“I’d pay a lot of money to see Sam’s face, if he ever finds out that Fenrir’s IQ is higher than his,” Hel grinned, leaning against the kitchen counter next to her father. Granted, her brother liked being a wolf so much that he hardly ever showed his more humanoid side, but when he got into the right mindset there was no use denying that he was very sharp.

“You might get your chance soon,” Gabriel replied nonchalantly. After all, once Sam had all his memories back he’d probably piece a few things together. If the archangel decided to let him remember the things that had happened while he had been his guest, that was. He hadn’t made up his mind on that matter, yet.

“What are you talking about?” Hel asked in an alarmed tone, keeping her voice silent, however. Sam was playing with Fenrir, trying to find out what commandos he would listen to, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hear if they got loud.

“I’m letting him go,” the archangel answered with a light shrug. Dean Winchester was back in the game which meant that Sam had a place to go again and his older brother would hopefully keep him out of the sort of trouble he had gotten into without him.

“You what? Why in the name of Odin would you do that?” the goddess demanded to know with an incredulous look. Things had only gotten better between her father and the human in the past weeks. Hell, for all it looked like they actually were a pretty good couple!

“Leave Odin out of this,” Gabriel insisted, pulling a face before he added casually, “He makes a decent pet, but he’s high maintenance. It’s just getting too strenuous-“

He didn’t even get to finish the most ridiculous lie he had told in quite some time, however.

“Bullshit,” Hel interrupted her father in a harsh tone, only remembering to keep her voice quiet in the last possible moment.

“I have made my decision,” the archangel stated, putting as much authority into his voice as it usually took to make his daughter understand that there was no use discussing with him anymore. She seemed more unwilling to let this particular matter rest than usually that day, however.

“Okay, fine,” Hel replied, “Make yourself unhappy, see if I care. But you are not throwing him to the wolves, I won’t let you!”

If she had to, she would take Sam in herself. Of course, explaining all that to the human would be damn complicated and – she wasn’t kidding herself – he would be heartbroken, but that would still be better than sending him back to a life that would inevitably kill him.

“He’s going back to his brother, if you like it or not,” Gabriel hissed, before he added in a lighter tone that he just knew would annoy his daughter even more, “You don’t seem to have problems letting him play with wolves.”

Hel couldn’t help the rather loud and very frustrated sound that escaped her after that pathetic excuse for one of her father’s jokes. That immediately drew the attention of both her brother and the younger Winchester to her, too.

Fenrir left Sam’s side just a little reluctantly. He really enjoyed the attention the human gave him, but when his sister and his father got into an argument he just had to go and make sure that the two of them didn’t get at each other’s throats. He might be the great wolf with a prophecy that he would devour Odin at the day of ragnarok to his name, but it wasn’t that much of a secret that he actually was a pretty big softie in general. The wolf sat between Hel and Loki, looking at them both with his best puppy eyes, a tactic that hardly ever failed to remind them that he didn’t like conflict and didn’t want to see them fight.

“We’re leaving,” Hel announced after a quick silent conversation with her brother. She didn’t really want to get into a yelling match with her father, anyway. Not to mention that half of the things she wanted to yell at him would completely blow his cover.

“What was that about?” Sam asked in a gentle tone after he had said good bye to Helen and Fenrir. Their departure had come sooner than expected, after all. It hadn’t been that surprising that the woman had wanted to leave after she had gotten mad at her cousin, though.

“Hel is mad at me,” Gabriel shrugged, walking toward the couch, so he could turn his back to the taller man for just a few moments. To tell the truth, it really was getting strenuous to show Sam a lot of who he really was while still hiding so many things from him. Knowing that all this would be over soon still wasn’t a good feeling.

“I gathered that much,” the younger Winchester replied with a worried frown, walking after his partner and sitting down next to him, putting a hand on his knee comfortingly.

“Oh, don’t worry, Sasquatch. She’ll get over it quickly. She always does,” the archangel assured the other man with a smile that was only a little forced.

“It’s funny. You call her Hel and her dog’s named Fenrir,” Sam suddenly remarked, scratching the back of his neck a little embarrassed when Gabriel didn’t give him a reaction for a few long moments, “Okay, not exactly Ha-Ha funny. I think I could tell a joke about a chicken that went into a bar…”

After that the archangel just had to chuckle, pulling the human in for a kiss that mercifully kept him from talking on and did a lot to improve Gabriel’s mood at the same time.

 

* * *

 

 

None of this would have happened, if Sam was around, Dean noted numbly as he pulled the trigger to put a bullet right between the college Professor’s eyes. The man had been the second person he had shot in less than an hour, too.

With the angels breathing down his neck and the lives of over a thousand people at stake, the older Winchester had tried his very best to find the damn witch and put an end to the seal-breaking activities. In the end, his best hadn’t been good enough – which was quickly becoming a running theme in his life – and he had been left with two suspects. With time working against him, Dean had had to make a decision and shutting his emotions off as best as he could he had gone to put them both down.

The older Winchester managed to keep his mind mostly blank until he had packed his things and had left the town in the rearview mirror. They were hardly the first bodies he had had to salt and burn before the authorities had a chance to come knocking on the door and two people in exchange for over a thousand seemed like a good enough deal, especially thinking that only one of those two had been innocent.

“You saved the seal,” Castiel stated. The angel had appeared right in Dean’s newest motel room without warning as he usually did. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also fixed another one of those soul-searching stares on the human, as well.

“Woohoo, go me,” the older Winchester commented dryly, lifting the whiskey bottle he was holding in a mock-toast. If he was lucky the stupid angel would just leave again as suddenly as he had appeared and let him drink himself stupid in peace. Then again, when had Dean Winchester ever been lucky?

“You seem… displeased,” Castiel observed, sounding as if finding the right word to describe the human emotion he was witnessing was insanely hard for him. Alright, Dean had been wrong when he had called him a special needs demon, but he wasn’t completely convinced that Cas wasn’t a special needs angel.

“I know this might sound outlandish to you,” the older Winchester spat, “But killing innocent people is not what I usually do.”

“The spell masking the witch’s activities was lifted as soon as you killed those two people. I can inform you that they were in fact working together,” Castiel replied. This time it seemed like he was nearly pleased with himself. To tell the truth, he was, too. He hadn’t gotten to tell the human any really good news in the past weeks, so finally having something positive to say was nice in a way that the angel didn’t even fully understand.

“Great, I got lucky then,” Dean snorted, swallowing another mouthful of whiskey. Alright, hearing that both the professor and that babysitter chick had deserved their deaths helped with the guilt a little, but it changed nothing about the fact that he had shot them without knowing all the facts.

“I believe those were good news,” Castiel’s frown deepened.

“What? That I completely incidentally didn’t put a bullet in an innocent person’s brain? Yeah, awesome news,” the older Winchester snarked. Sam would have understood… damn, Sam wouldn’t have let him shoot those people to begin with. They would have found another way together somehow. They would have… done everything different. As things had been, Dean hadn’t been able to withstand the pressure and had lost his nerves. Worse than that, he had let himself think that as long as he killed less than a thousand people it’d still be a win technically for a few long moments and he had used some things he had been taught the hard way in hell to manage to go through with it, too.

Castiel left the motel room soon after that. He kept watch over the older Winchester throughout the night, however. Uriel might have been pleased with the outcome, but after speaking to the human Castiel had to admit that he wasn’t. The righteous man was breaking right before their eyes, the soul Castiel had rescued from hell personally was losing its shine. The angel didn’t fully understand where the far too intense to be completely normal feeling of attachment came from, but he knew he had to do something to help the human. He was going to do everything to find his brother for him.


	17. Chapter 17

**17**

 

One more thing the tall human had discovered about Sam Winchester was that he most likely had never cooked that much. Either that, or he had simply forgotten most of the things he had ever known about cooking along with his personal memories. Yeah, the first option seemed more likely. Sam was good enough with cutting vegetables and basically just doing whatever Gabriel told him to, though. That had to count for something.

It looked like they were in serious danger of going without proper lunch that day, however. The shorter man had clearly been distracted ever since they had gotten up and it was only getting worse.

“Gabe, wait,” Sam spoke in a gentle tone, keeping the other man from turning the burner on. Hey, he had already managed to desensitize himself against the panic that flared up whenever he tried to only open the front door to some extent, but nowhere near enough to be able to run outside in the case of fire!

“I don’t think our food will cook itself, Gigantor,” Gabriel stated with a small smirk, looking back at the younger Winchester who was still holding his hand. He wasn’t going to complain about the contact however. God knew that he wasn’t going to get a chance to experience it much longer.

“That’s a new one. And I don’t particularly like it,” Sam frowned before he shook his head slightly to get his thoughts back to the topic at hand, “You’ve been distracted all day long, I don’t want you anywhere near fire.”

The archangel huffed out a laugh. Like he’d really burn the cabin down! Hell, he wasn’t even that likely to burn lunch, even if he didn’t pay attention at all. Of course, the younger Winchester didn’t know that, though.

“Okay, okay,” Gabriel caved in with a light shrug, “You know what that means?”

Sam raised an eyebrow, letting the other man’s hand go as soon as he agreed not to use the stove. What he supposed that meant was that there wouldn’t be any lunch anytime soon, but he was pretty sure that that wasn’t the answer the smaller man was obviously hinting at.

“Peanut butter, jelly time,” Gabriel stated with a grin, before he brushed past the taller man to grab the bread and the glasses of peanut butter and jelly.

The younger Winchester had to bite his tongue hard to keep himself from asking the questions that were running through his head. It was rather obvious that the other man didn’t want to talk about it that very moment however, so he vowed to at least wait for a better moment.

“Is this about the argument you had with Helen yesterday?” Sam asked carefully once they were both seated with their sandwiches in front of them. He wasn’t quite sure where that bit of wisdom had come from, but the thought that talking to someone possibly a little emotionally stunted was easier when they had their mouth full with food they enjoyed had popped into his head randomly.

Gabriel swallowed and took a long drink of his iced tea before he nodded. He didn’t have a better explanation to give to the other man and it was somewhat true, anyway. The fact that he had had a fight with his daughter didn’t bother him that much though, it was more about what the argument had been about.

“She’s going to calm down quickly, I’m sure,” Sam added gently, reaching across the table to put his hand over Gabriel’s. He still didn’t know what had upset Helen in the first place, but he knew that she was very fond of her cousin – despite some things she had said – and would probably feel bad about their fight sooner rather than later, too.

“Yeah, we have a history of stupid arguments,” the archangel admitted, flipping his hand over so he could hold the younger Winchester’s hand. It wasn’t Hel’s ability to more or less forgive him he was worried about, anyway. Hell, he wasn’t worried about Sam’s ability to forgive him, either. He already knew that he would hate him forever as soon as he was back in his old life with all his memories restored.

“You have that way of getting under people’s skin,” the younger Winchester agreed with a crooked smile, “That’s not a bad thing, though. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It sometimes is,” Gabriel acknowledged, “Bet you’d be stinking rich, if you had a dollar for every time you wanted to punch me.”

Sam couldn’t help laughing at that. There might have been some truth in the other man’s assumption too, especially considering that there were times he had spent around him that he couldn’t remember.

“Hel would be. Her brothers, too,” Gabriel confessed a moment later, by far more sincerely than the younger Winchester would have expected. Alright, Fenrir probably couldn’t make a living just from wanting to punch him, but then again his oldest was strange like that. The archangel honestly didn’t know what his son saw in him. To be honest, the level of adoration Fenrir showed for him whenever they met made him feel uncomfortable at times.

Gabriel had been so lost in his thoughts that it came as a surprise when Sam’s lips were against his all of a sudden. Not that he was complaining.

“What was that for?” the archangel asked with an amused smile.

“Uh… I wanted to make you smile,” Sam replied, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck embarrassedly, “Kissing you was the best thing I could th-“

This time the younger Winchester didn’t get to finish his statement before Gabriel grabbed his shirt with both hands and pulled him closer and into another kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, what exactly is this supposed to do?” Dean asked while Ruby was still busy mixing herbs and other things the older Winchester didn’t really want to know about in detail together. He knew that the final ingredients to make the spell work was his blood, but he still wasn’t completely sure what the ritual was meant to achieve.

“It’ll open a connection between you and Sam,” the demon replied, adding some more grey powder – maybe a little less grey than the one she had used directly before, but more grey than the one before that – to the bowl, “And if we’re lucky he’ll catch on and give you a hint on where to find him.”

Dean frowned deeply, but didn’t object. If this was the one chance he had to find Sam, he was going to take it. He remembered the last time pictures about his brother’s location had been planted directly into his head and he remembered all too well how that had ended for both of them, however.

The older Winchester took the ritual knife out of Ruby’s hand and was just about to cut his own palm when Castiel appeared next to him all of a sudden.

“Cas, no!” Dean managed to yell just a moment before the angel put his palm against the demon’s forehead. Whatever he had been about to do to Ruby, it would have stopped her from finishing the spell for sure.

“What are you doing working with a demon?” Castiel demanded to know in the sort of hard tone that he hadn’t used with the human ever since he had threatened him to throw him back into hell.

“What do you think?” Dean shot back with a stony expression that rivaled the angel’s, “She’s helping me find Sam!”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t asked the other side for help first, but Castiel had made it pretty clear that he didn’t have the time to spare it would take to look for his younger brother. The dick had left him with no other choice, really!

“He does not require your assistance any longer,” the angel told the demon with a tone that made perfectly clear what was going to happen, if she didn’t get lost as quickly as she could. In fact, he would have smote her without a second thought, if he hadn’t been sure that Dean would be even more unwilling to listen to anything he was saying, if he killed the demon.

Ruby wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and left the room immediately. She had known that she would have to be very cautious as long as the angels were keeping an eye on the older Winchester and to be honest, she was incredibly lucky to still be alive. There would be another time to advance her plan.

“What the hell?” Dean asked with all the righteous indignation he could muster up. Fine, what he had done might count as crossing a line, but he had crossed a lot of lines lately and the angel wasn’t the boss of him, anyway!

“I believe I could ask you the same,” Castiel shot back, “This smells of black magic.”

The older Winchester snorted defiantly. Of course, it was some kind of black magic, a demon had been about to work it, after all! Besides, what was the angel thinking? Dean had sold his soul and had gone to tell to make sure his brother was alive, why would the thought of using some black magic stop him?

“That’s rich, Cas. You said you couldn’t help me. What did you think I was going to do? Sit back and forget I ever had a brother?” Dean wanted to know, working himself up more the more he thought about it. He seriously considered telling the angel to leave and giving Ruby a call to let her know that she could come back and finish what they started, but chances were very high that he wouldn’t get away with that. He wasn’t going to be of any help to anyone, if he pushed the dick to the point where he would smite him, either.

“I said finding your brother was not part of my orders,” Castiel clarified, “But not looking for your brother was not part of my orders, either.”

It was the first time in his existence that the dark-haired angel had knowingly used a loophole to bend an order in a way that would allow him to act after his own preferences. Seeing the hopeful expression in the older Winchester’s eyes as he began to understand what he had just heard was enough to override any thoughts that what he had done had been wrong, too.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Dean asked just to make sure that his wishful thinking wasn’t playing tricks on him.

“I might have located your brother,” Castiel confirmed cautiously. There were some things that didn’t make too much sense and the fact that he had managed to find information others had been searching for for weeks in a day spoke for some sort of trap, but now that he had the human’s full attention he was positive that they would be able to work something out.

“Cas, I think I’m starting to like you a little,” the older Winchester stated seriously, patting the angel’s shoulder amiably.

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel had made up for the lunch he had sort of messed up with a self-made lasagna for dinner. Actually, having a reason to cook for someone was one of the things he was going to miss once Sam was gone. It just wasn’t the same to do it just for the hell of it.

He had been tempted to delay operation ‘return to the wild’ – working title – for another few days, or weeks, a couple of months at the most, but when Castiel of all people had put out his feelers he had had to take the chance and act. Getting Sam to be found by someone who was trustworthy was the harder part of the operation, after all.

Alright, he could just drop the younger Winchester into the newest motel room his older brother was staying at any time he wanted, but that would make it all too clear that he had let him go. The way he planned for this to happen, both Winchesters would think that Sam had been rescued. He didn’t need them both hunting him down on the search for answers about why he had randomly decided to set the younger Winchester free again, after all.

Gabriel had been so busy thinking about these things that he hadn’t noticed Sam’s return to his bedroom until the taller man was standing right in front of him. As soon as he had taken the first good look, all thoughts of everything else fled his mind, however.

“Your clothes are in your room,” the archangel commented with a grin, letting his eyes roam over every bit of uncovered skin he could see. It was a lot of skin, too. The younger Winchester only had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was still damp from the shower he had just taken.

Sam only rolled his eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaned closer until he could whisper directly into the smaller man’s ear. “They’ll stay there, too.”

If there had been any doubt of what was going on before, the seductive tone in which the younger Winchester had just made his statement would have successfully eliminated every last trace of it.

Gabriel’s grin grew as he grabbed the hem of the towel and pulled Sam closer. He hadn’t exactly expected the taller man to straddle him where he was sitting with his back against the headboard, but it definitely worked for him. For both of them as it looked like.

“Did you get started without me?” the archangel asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, letting his hand wander up Sam’s thigh until he could loosely wrap it around the very obvious arousal he found under the towel.

The younger Winchester looked embarrassed for a moment before there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he removed the only thing still between him and the amber eyes that had never stopped roaming over his body ever since the other man had first acknowledged his presence.

“You have no idea,” Sam whispered, planting kisses along Gabriel’s jaw and neckline before he grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Once that was done he smiled a little meekly and took the other man’s right hand in his left, leading it toward his backside.

The way the archangel’s eyes widened in realization once his fingers made contact with the place Sam had obviously wanted them to go was comical enough that the younger Winchester was distracted from feeling a little self-conscious.

“I thought I should figure out what I’m comfortable with before I come on to you,” Sam admitted with a shrug. He had played these things through in his mind a couple of times before – hell, they had done a lot of things that clearly had led up to this, after all – but he had figured that in this case just going with what his head figured would work wouldn’t do. A more hands on approach - so to say - had looked like the better option.

“You’re such a geek,” Gabriel shook his head fondly before he grabbed the back of Sam’s neck with his left hand and pulled him into a deep kiss, “And that’s so damn hot.”

So, the younger Winchester was going to hate him for all time as soon as he remembered who he was again anyway, it wasn’t like anything they did or didn’t do from this point on was going to change anything about that. Putting a stop to this out of moral reasons would only deprive them both from something they very much wanted, at least for the moment. His reasoning sounded completely logical to Gabriel, though he had to admit that he wasn’t exactly thinking with his brain anymore.

While Sam already had to lift himself off the archangel’s lap to allow him to get rid of his pants, he also took the chance to grab a bottle of lube from the top drawer of his bedside table. For all he knew the younger Winchester hadn’t done this before – or if he had it had been quite some time ago – so they were going to have to make good use of it, too.

Gabriel captured Sam’s lips in another heated kiss, nibbling on his lower lip and sucking his tongue into his mouth before he started to test how thorough the human had been in his earlier explorations. It didn’t surprise him that much to find out that the younger Winchester had been very meticulous, it made a definitely pleased sound break free from his throat, however.

They were both already panting heavily before Sam even lifted his hips and getting himself in the right position sank back down very slowly, stopping along the way to lift up ever so slightly and come back down just that little further ever so often.

“You okay?” Gabriel asked in a soft tone, brushing some hair out of the younger Winchester’s face. He wasn’t quite sure, if the fact that the human was shivering and letting his head hang down breathing quickly was good or bad. The way Sam moaned when he moved them ever so slightly was a pretty good indication that he was in fact enjoying himself, though.

Gabriel put his hands on Sam’s hips after that had been cleared up and helped him built a rhythm that had them both groaning in no time flat. It would have been embarrassing how fast he had tumbled over the edge given the years and years of experience the archangel had, if not for the fact that the younger Winchester had already been spent and moaning from the overstimulation at the time.

“I love you,” Gabriel whispered once they had disentangled themselves and then had entangled themselves again in a position that was definitely better for sleeping.

“You’re only saying that, because you want to go again as soon as possible,” Sam commented sleepily, smiling a full on dimpled smile because of the archangel’s words, anyway.


	18. Chapter 18

**18**

 

The cabin Castiel had led Dean to was located right on the edge of the rocky mountains between Wyoming and Idaho. To say that this wasn’t what the older Winchester had expected when the angel had told him that he knew where Sam had disappeared to would have been an understatement.

To tell the truth, Dean didn’t know what to make of all of this. For the past weeks – nearly two months – he had feared that his brother was being tortured, locked in the basement of some place by a demon or worse. True, looks could be deceiving, but from the older Winchester’s experience places that demons or monsters used to torment their prisoners weren’t this well kept and they sure didn’t have those awfully cute white curtains framing their windows. Granted, he hadn’t seen the inside of the cabin, yet.

The very uncomfortable thought that it wasn’t entirely impossible that Sam had simply decided to turn his back on everything, including Dean and Bobby, did all sorts of bad things to the older Winchester’s insides.

“You sure this is the place?” Dean asked the dark-haired angel who was standing next to him as stiffly as ever, “I don’t really want to kick in the door of some family on vacation.”

Castiel kept silent for a few long moments, staring toward the cabin intently. The older Winchester was about to repeat his question, possibly with a few mild profanities thrown in, when the angel finally replied, “I am certain that this is the place where I felt your brother’s presence. Currently I cannot pick up even the slightest trace of him, however.”

Dean nodded curtly. Even if it was possible that Sam wasn’t inside the cabin anymore, he’d still go in there and look for any clues. This was the only thing he had to go by, after all.

“I believe this is a trap,” Castiel added seriously, fixing the human’s green eyes with his blue ones. Most human things, especially most things about Dean Winchester, were confusing to the angel, but he knew a lot of battles and strategies. If someone or something was missing for a long time without a trace and then suddenly there was something, chances were that something had been planted on purpose. He could distinctly remember Lucifer using unexpected distress signals from angels who had been missing and assumed to be dead to lure the rescue company into a trap more than once. Heaven’s general policy on things like that was to ignore the signals and mourn the loss of another brother or sister instead. Castiel was completely sure that Dean would not listen to reason and would not see the merits of the course of action Castiel’s superiors would have ordered, however.

“We’re about to find out,” the older Winchester replied, cocking his gun.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam really was trying to read the copy of ‘Moby Dick’ Gabriel had gotten for him, but his heart wasn’t exactly in it. He knew that the smaller man had said that he just wanted to go and see Helen to settle the argument they had had. The way Gabe had kissed him before he had left had had something very desperate and final, however.

The younger Winchester sighed. He probably was just being paranoid, seeing things that weren’t there. Gabriel would have understandably been worried about the talk with his cousin and that had most likely influenced the way he had acted. Sam really wished he could have at least offered to come with his lover, boyfriend, partner. Chances were Gabe would have declined anyway, but he would have been able to show his willingness to stand by his side that way. Of course, as things were making the offer would have been an incredibly bad joke. They both knew that Sam couldn’t set a foot in front of the door, after all.

The younger Winchester opened the book again, willing himself to concentrate on the words. He managed well enough for a few minutes, but then his attention was forcefully ripped away from the story when the front door suddenly flew open.

Sam jumped to his feet purely out of instinct. The impulse for either fight or flight was undeniably there, but he knew that he wasn’t exactly in the position for either one. One of the two men that had just forced their way into the cabin had a gun and the farthest Sam could have run would still have been inside the house.

Dean couldn’t have said what exactly he had expected, but this hadn’t been it. The sinking feeling that his brother had simply abandoned the mission and gone into hiding all too gladly was coming on at least as strong as the building anger about that very thing. It took a few long moments before he even realized that Sam looked nothing but scared and there was no recognition to be read in his face.

“Sammy,” the older Winchester said in a much more gentle tone than he would have thought he was going to use on the deserting bitch just a second earlier, lowering his gun.

“Dean?” Sam replied in an uncertain tone. He had not made the connection between the man and the picture of his older brother earlier, because he knew his brother was dead and the gun that had been pointed at him had been damn distracting, too. He couldn’t deny that he felt that this couldn’t be anybody but Dean with every fiber of his being, however.

It wasn’t exactly the reaction the older Winchester had expected to get from his brother, but at least it looked like he freaking knew who he even was now. Yeah, this entire situation was clearly fucked up and needed a lot of explaining!

Dean didn’t get the chance to ask even one of the many questions that were swirling in his head before Sam gasped and went to his knees, clutching his head like he was in pain all of a sudden.

The older Winchester was next to his brother, keeping him from faceplanting on the wooden floor by wrapping his arms around him tightly just a moment later. The flashbacks of an all too similar scene were overwhelming and made blind panic rise in Dean so quickly that he couldn’t do much more than repeat his brother’s name over and over. He couldn’t have found Sam just to watch him die in his arms a minute later! This couldn’t happen yet again!

“What’s wrong with him, Cas?” the older Winchester tried to ask the angel, but when he turned his head he found that Castiel was gone. He couldn’t linger on the feeling of having been betrayed, because Sam was clinging to him desperately, making all sorts of broken noises. A small part of Dean was quite glad for those signs that he was obviously alive, even if he was in pain, however.

“You’ll be okay, Sammy,” the older Winchester promised, tightening his grip on his brother while he tried to figure out how to get Sam to the Impala and to the closest hospital. He probably wasn’t in the position to walk all the way and while Dean was pretty sure he could have carried him, if it was absolutely necessary, he knew that that would leave them both completely defenseless against any attackers that might be out there. They wouldn’t have that problem, if the freaking angel hadn’t disappeared on them!

“Help me,” Sam managed to moan, digging his fingers deeper into his brother’s back. He wasn’t looking at Dean or even speaking to him, however.

Gabriel looked back at the human with a sympathetic expression before he nodded and snapped his fingers. There was a short moment when the younger Winchester looked at him, the old memories that came flooding back to him without anything standing in their way anymore mixing with the new ones they had built over the past months. The archangel had expected instant hate and anger and that would have been bad enough, but the clearly heartbroken look on Sam’s face was much worse.

Dean had turned his head around pretty much the second he had heard the snap and had only taken a moment longer to point his gun at the bastard of a trickster. He knew bullets weren’t going to do anything to the douchebag, but he didn’t have any other options at hand. A lot of things were beginning to make sense all of a sudden, however.

“What did you do to him?” Dean demanded, still keeping one arm around his younger brother who had gone nearly limp. A side-glance confirmed that he still had his eyes open and even looked more alert than he had before, however.

The archangel shrugged with forced casualness. He didn’t like seeing Sam in pain like this, he didn’t like seeing that the older Winchester was holding him while Gabriel wished he could be the one with his arms around him and most of all he didn’t like knowing that this was definitely the end of whatever they had had between them. He wasn’t surprised, for once things were going according to plan, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“If you hurt him, I swear to God-“ Dean started with what could only become a threat with various profanities thrown in, so the archangel decided to interrupt him. It wasn’t like any information would be lost, if he didn’t hear what exactly the older Winchester planned to shove up or through whatever body part came to his mind first.

“I liked you better when you were still in hell,” Gabriel commented with a smirk that was nowhere near heartfelt either, but lots of experience with concealing whatever he really thought and felt made sure that it looked just as smug with just a hint of cruelty as he had meant it to.

Dean didn’t even get to shoot at the bastard just for the principle of the thing before he disappeared into thin air. Shooting him before he left would have been more satisfying, but the older Winchester was simply glad to be rid of the Trickster in any case.

As soon as Gabriel was gone, Sam’s full attention was drawn to his brother immediately. His mind as well as his heart was still struggling to take everything that had happened in and bring his old memories together with the new ones, but he was slowly getting a grip on himself.

“Dean,” Sam finally whispered, unsure what he had actually meant to say. ‘Is that really you?’, ‘How are you back?’, ‘Am I going insane now?’ were just a few things that came to mind, but in the end he settled for simply hugging his brother tight. Dean’s presence didn’t make any sense and the younger Winchester knew that he should be worried about shapeshifters, illusions, demons and a hundred more things that would mean that the person he had his arms around wasn’t his brother. Then again nothing made any sense anymore and the ground had been ripped away from right under his feet, so Sam was willing enough to just roll with the only option that kept him from falling apart completely.

“Woah, Samantha, you’re crushing me,” Dean commented, hugging his brother back just as tightly. He would have ended the hug much quicker than his younger brother was willing to let go, however. They still had to make sure that they got out of this place before the Trickster decided that he didn’t want to let them leave after all.

“You just came back from… hell, excuse me for wanting to hug you,” Sam shot back without any heat to his voice. He managed to let go just a moment later and got back to his feet. As unsteady as he felt inside, it luckily didn’t show on the outside.

“Yeah, about that, I’ve been back since September,” Dean replied, putting a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “Been looking for you ever since.”

The older Winchester really would have felt better, if they could have had the rest of this conversation outside and back on the way to the Impala, but it looked like Sam had other plans, because he headed for one of the rooms at the back of the cabin. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this must have been his brother’s room for the past weeks and months.

Sam quickly got his wallet and the picture of him and Dean from his bedside table and completely ignored everything else as he turned around and tried to make himself ready for leaving the place he had called home for what seemed so much longer than just a few weeks. He half expected the rather familiar feeling of blind panic he had always had in close proximity of the front door, but there was nothing alike when he stepped outside right behind his older brother, barely resisting the urge to touch him again and again just to make sure that all this was really happening.

The younger Winchester was glad that Dean didn’t insist on asking questions for the moment being. He really didn’t know how to explain everything that had happened. To tell the truth, he was trying very hard to focus on his brother and push everything else aside. Sam knew that he would have to deal with all this eventually, but if he as much as thought of Gabe… the Trickster before he got some privacy, Dean would have a train wreck of epic proportions at his hands.

“Cas, where the hell did you go?” the older Winchester asked indignantly. They had only just reached the Impala when the angel showed up again and wasn’t that just great?

“I was banished,” Castiel replied, giving the human a hard stare.

Okay, that made more sense than the angel up and leaving for some unknown reason or just for shits and giggles, but Dean hadn’t even known that angels could be banished a minute ago. The older Winchester completely ignored that Castiel clearly wasn’t happy with him, anyway. He had caught the confused look his brother had shot his way and yeah, there were a couple of things he should explain there.

“Cas is an angel. Yeah, I know. Just roll with it for now,” the older Winchester explained, “He’s been helping me. Actually, he was the one who found you.”

Sam blinked a couple of times before he nodded his acknowledgement dumbly. So, angels. He knew that this was big news and he knew that he should be excited and happy to hear that they had at least one angel working with them, but there was only so much he could take in one day and the point of ‘too much’ had been reached a while ago, already.

“And still you thought I had abandoned you,” Castiel shot back with more vigor than Dean would have thought the angel was even capable of.

“Uh… yeah… look Cas, I’m sorry for that,” the older Winchester stated a little meekly. He had jumped to conclusions and had failed to give the other man the benefit of the doubt. Granted, he hardly ever gave anyone the benefit of the doubt, but looking at how the angel was bending rules and had stepped out of line – something that clearly wasn’t easy for him – for Dean, he felt that he should have gone easier on him.

“I accept the apology,” Castiel answered seriously before he turned to the younger Winchester, “I am glad to finally meet you.”

Sam’s smile was rather forced, but he extended his arm to shake hands with the angel for a moment as he replied, “Glad to meet you, too. And thanks for… everything.”

He couldn’t deny that he was insanely grateful when he and his brother were finally seated in the Impala and on the way to Bobby’s. The music Dean was playing rather loudly was a sign that he didn’t want to talk too much before they reached their destination, too.

Sam exhaled soundly and leaned back into the seat, trying to get himself comfortable. The Impala had been one of the very few constants in his life and given how often they had slept in the car, he’d go as far as to say that it was the closest to a permanent home they had ever had. A part of the younger Winchester that was too big to simply be ignored had a completely different idea of where home was, however.


	19. Chapter 19

**19**

 

Bobby didn’t say anything before he pulled Sam into a tight hug. As much as the older hunter knew that things that were too good to be true happening usually was a damn bad sign, he still couldn’t believe his luck. He had gotten both of the boys he had believed lost forever back and while there were a bunch of issues they’d have to deal with eventually, they all were fine enough.

“I’m sorry, Bobby, so sorry,” the younger Winchester mumbled. He had left the older hunter hanging and had stormed out on him the last time they had seen each other, after all. Thinking back of these things now he realized that this had been one of the first steps on the long way to ruin.

“None of this now, boy,” Bobby stated, patting Sam’s shoulder amiably before he gestured for the two Winchesters to settle down in the living room while he went to get a couple of beers for them all.

To be honest, Sam really was not ready for the talk he knew would follow. He was not ready to speak about the things that had happened while he had been with Ga… the Trickster. He hadn’t even had the time to decide how he was going to explain these things to himself yet, so speaking about them to somebody else, especially his family, seemed impossible.

The younger Winchester knew that he could be grateful that Dean had just repeatedly asked, if he was okay and if there was anything he needed on the drive and had mostly kept quiet otherwise. However, Dean had told him a few things about Castiel and how the angel had gone from completely emotionless to being hurt by the display of mistrust he had been on the receiving end on earlier in the past months. It looked like it bugged the older Winchester a little that he had offended the angel and it probably bugged him a bit that he had automatically thought the worst of Cas, too.

Sam sat on Bobby’s couch next to his brother, playing with the amulet around his neck absentmindedly as the two of them waited for Bobby to return. It took a few moments before he realized that Dean was watching his hand moving rather than just watching him with hawk eyes as he had done ever since they had been reunited.

The younger Winchester smiled, pulled the leather band over his head and handed it back to Dean, “I kept it for you.”

He might not have known it for the past weeks, but he definitely had held on to the thing with the hope of giving it back some day. If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought that the gesture gave Dean misty eyes, but of course he had to imagine that. He definitely didn’t imagine that his brother patted his shoulder affectionately right after letting the amulet fall back into place around his neck, though.

The comfortable silence couldn’t last, however. Bobby came back with three beers in his hands and that meant that they were going to have that talk that Sam dreaded.

“Okay, what happened to you?” Dean asked in a gentle tone once they were all seated. He had picked up on his younger brother’s very strong reluctance to say anything to the matter, but he needed to know this. More specifically, he needed to know if they had to hunt down the trickster bastard and stake him again.

Sam inhaled deeply, stalling just that little bit more, before he answered, “I went to a crossroads demon.”

He had chosen to rather speak about the things that had happened before he had been taken out of the game for weeks, but of course those weren’t exactly comfortable to talk about, either. They weren’t great to hear for both Bobby and Dean as well, but Sam pressed on, anyway.

“Don’t say it, okay? I know, believe me I know how stupid that was. But I couldn’t live with myself like that, knowing that you went to hell for me,” the younger Winchester added quickly before he could be interrupted, “He didn’t want my soul, anyway. Said they had you exactly where they wanted and…”

Bobby and Dean frowned pretty much at the same time after hearing that. Knowing that the older Winchester had been targeted specifically in combination with the fact that angels had been ordered to go and get him back out sure was a big thing. Neither one of them knew what it meant exactly, but it definitely was something they’d have to look into.

“And what?” Dean prompted when his brother didn’t speak on for a few long moments.

“It made sense,” Sam stated with conviction, even though it was easy enough to see that he didn’t like saying it, “I’ve been marked for hell ever since I was a baby. Why make a deal for a soul they’ll get eventually, anyway?”

Both the other men stared at the younger Winchester incredulously because of that admission. Dean had the sinking feeling that he knew exactly what his brother was speaking about and hearing that Sam apparently knew of these things was a surprise. He’d have to find out since when his brother had known, but that was hardly the most important thing at that moment.

“Sammy, no,” the older Winchester protested, “What that demon did to you wasn’t your fault.”

The younger Winchester shrugged before he picked up where he had stopped speaking, “Anyway, I was trying to find a way to kill Lilith after that. If I couldn’t get you back, I at least wanted to see the bitch burn.”

Bobby didn’t comment and generally tried not to discourage Sam from finishing his story by showing any too clear signs of disapproval. He knew all too well why the younger Winchester had gone off the radar and had made sure not to let him know what he was up to after hearing only as much as he had already though.

“I found a lead and followed it blindly,” Sam admitted, looking even more uncomfortable than he had before which really was saying something. He was getting dangerously close to the part of the story he really didn’t want to tell, however. “Turned out it was a trap and I got myself nearly killed. I’m not sure what happened next, but I woke up again in the cabin where you found me.”

Dean nodded tightly. At least his brother was being brutally honest about the things he said, but that only made them harder to listen to. They were only just getting to the part that made no fucking sense whatsoever, too. The older Winchester was pretty sure that his brother hadn’t been kept prisoner in the usual sense of the word, there had been nothing to indicate that he couldn’t have escaped the cabin if he had wanted to and from what Dean had seen it had looked like an ordinary and pretty comfortable place. The way Sam had broken down and the way he hadn’t seemed to even recognize him at first only added to the strangeness of the entire situation.

“The Trickster made me think that I was just some normal guy who got attacked and lost his memories that way. I can’t even explain it, it all made sense at the time,” the younger Winchester finished lamely. He really didn’t want to go into any more details. Didn’t want to think of the time he had had with Gabe, who wasn’t really Gabe, after all.

“There isn’t anything more to it,” Sam added with a shrug, “I’m beat. If you don’t mind, I’d really like to catch some sleep.”

In fact, he just really needed to end this conversation before he broke down again. He didn’t even care that Dean and Bobby were most likely looking right through him at that very moment, if they only agreed to give him the privacy and quiet he needed to properly process everything that had happened that day and get a grip on himself.

“Alright,” the older hunter commented as soon as Sam was gone from the room, “And you’re going to explain a few more things to me.”

There had been some points in the story which Bobby hadn’t been able to follow properly and he had the strong feeling that the older Winchester would be able to clear at least some of those up. Not to mention that he had yet to hear how Dean had gotten his brother back from the Trickster of all people.

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel stood in the middle of the main room of the cabin one of his hands raised to shoulder level and frozen in mid-snap. He had wanted to just make every last piece of furniture and possible the entire thing disappear, but then he had started to doubt, if that was what he really wanted. As things were, he just couldn’t make up his mind. The memories attached to basically everything in the cabin were the only thing left of the time he had had with Sam and he simply wasn’t sure, if getting rid of it all would make things better or worse.

“Oh father,” Hel sighed, suddenly standing behind him, Fenrir sitting next to her leg, cocking his head at the archangel.

The news of Sam Winchester suddenly showing up again had travelled fast and the goddess had only been waiting for the smallest sign, anyway. She had known it was going to happen, after all. She had also known that her father was going to be at this place possibly tearing himself apart. Granted, Hel had only voiced those thoughts out loud while her brother had lain in front of her fireplace and had listened to her ramblings. It had been Fenrir who had insisted that they needed to go and make sure that their father was okay.

“I’m not in the mood, Hel,” Gabriel replied, sure that his daughter had something to say about how stupid he had been and how she had known that letting Sam go was just adding to the pile of idiotic decisions. What he hadn’t expected was suddenly finding himself in a tight hug with his oldest son nuzzling his hand and pressing close to his leg.

“Okay, I am in the mood for that,” the archangel amended, wrapping his arm around his daughter and using the other to pet Fenrir’s head. He really hadn’t expected anything like this to happen, but it definitely was a nice surprise.

“What are we going to do now?” Hel asked after a few long moments of silence.

Now that the human was back in his old life there was nothing standing between him and all kinds of mortal danger anymore, after all. The goddess had said it before and if necessary she would say it again, but Sam had become a friend over time and she was not willing to sit back and watch him get killed by demons… or worse. Death was hardly the worst thing that could happen to a person, after all.

Gabriel frowned, looking at both his children, because they both were clearly waiting for an answer, even if Fenrir hadn’t said a word to the topic. “Nothing, for now. I can’t keep either one of you from watching, but I want you to promise you won’t get involved, unless there is absolutely no other way.”

In fact, he very much wanted someone to keep watch over Sam at all times, but he was pretty sure he didn’t have to say that. Both Hel and Fenrir were all too willing to do something, anyway. Asking them to stand by and be patient clearly was the part they didn’t like, though. They both had their patience from their father’s side, after all.

“I’m already working on a better plan,” Gabriel told them before either one of them could have protested. There simply were too many things to take into consideration as complicated as things had gotten, however. There were a lot of people that would be watching Sam with hawk eyes, just waiting for the right moment to do the one thing or the other and while Gabriel wanted to keep basically all of them from ever reaching their goals, he knew that this was delicate business. Even more delicate now that two of his children had gotten involved, as well.

 

* * *

 

 

Around 2 a.m. Sam gave up on trying to get to sleep. There were too many things running through his head and he had had to admit defeat and give up on a good night’s rest. There wouldn’t be any quick solutions to his issues, but he could at least try to make himself comfortable while he had to think a lot of things he really would rather push away through.

Most people wouldn’t understand why sitting on the hood of an old Mustang that miraculously still had a windshield to lean against was relaxing, but Bobby’s salvage yard had that effect on both Winchesters most of the time.

Sam huffed out a breath as he contemplated that not more than a day ago he had still thought that he was bound to stay inside at all times. Of course, that had been one of the things that G… the Trickster had made him believe. The younger Winchester didn’t even try to fight the anger that was welling up when he thought back of how the short bastard had comforted him when one of the panic attacks he had caused in the first place had hit Sam once more. Everything would be so much easier, if he could just hate the guy and it should have been easy enough to loathe him, but somehow the feelings that were strongest were of another kind entirely. He’d have to put an end to this somehow and quickly, too.

“Hello, Sam,” the woman greeted him with a nice smile as she stepped closer so he could see her better. The demon hadn’t expected Dean to give her a call when or if he found his brother, so she had had to make sure she wasn’t going to miss the moment Sam was back watching them as closely as possible.

“Ruby,” the younger Winchester replied. He hadn’t seen her in this meatsuit before, but it was easy enough to figure out that it had to be her. She just had that way of approaching him, like they were friends or something like that. He put his hand on the gun he had tucked into the waistband of his jeans before he had stepped outside, anyway.

“I’m glad to see you’re back,” Ruby stated seriously, still smiling. She had to get this operation back on track as quickly as possible now. That Dean was around and would surely watch his brother like a hawk would complicate things for sure, but she still had a chance here. The older Winchester didn’t mistrust her quite as much as he used to, after all.

“Sure you are,” Sam commented in a neutral tone, following every movement the demon made with his eyes, “What do you want?”

She had caught him in a spectacularly bad moment. His anger hadn’t been aimed at her at first, but he found that it was much easier to direct it at the demon than at the person he should actually be mad at.

“We have talked about this before, Sam. Only you can stop Lilith. I don’t know, if they have brought you up to date yet, but her newest project involves letting Lucifer loose on the world,” Ruby explained. She couldn’t bait him with revenge for Dean anymore, but getting him to believe that the fate of the entire world was on his shoulders should work well enough, too. Both Winchesters had this stupid hero- and martyr-complex that made them all too easy to manipulate, after all.

“So, we’ll have to stop her,” the younger Winchester answered, trying not to show too clearly that she had just told him something he hadn’t known before. He’d have to ask Dean and Bobby about this as soon as possible, but before that he’d have to finish this conversation.

“Exactly. We should get to-“ the demon agreed before she got rudely interrupted.

“No,” Sam stated in a hard tone, “Me and my brother, we’re going to stop this. I don’t really care what you’re going to do, as long as you stay away from me.”

There might have been a point in time when he had seriously considered working with her, but all of that was in the past now. He wasn’t entirely sure what the Trickster had tried to teach him this time around, but what he had learned was not to trust someone who claimed to have his best interest at heart, especially not when that someone was a supernatural creature.

“Sam,” Ruby replied in a reasonable tone, reaching for his shoulder. She had to admit defeat just a moment later, however. There was no talking to the human as things were.

“Stay. Away. From. Me,” Sam repeated in a warning tone, pulling his gun from behind his back, aiming it at the demon. He was fully prepared to shoot her, too.

The demon looked straight back at him before she nodded curtly and took her leave. Alright then, if Sam insisted on making this hard for her, she could play the game that way, too.


	20. Chapter 20

**20**

 

“Sam?” Dean asked, looking at his younger brother over the plate with his half-eaten breakfast on it. They had gotten back on the road a few days ago after the older Winchester had been confident enough that Sam was fit to go on hunts again, but looking at how things were going he wasn’t quite so sure, if he had made the right choice.

“Hm?” the younger Winchester hummed without looking away from the newspaper he had been starting at for the past fifteen minutes without ever turning the page or even visibly changing the point he was looking at. Dean might not have been the most observant person on the planet, especially since his own nightmares kept him awake most nights these days, but that was a pretty fucking huge clue that something was wrong with his brother.

“I know you’re a freaking research genius, but I don’t think even you can absorb information just by staring at it,” the older Winchester commented casually but with an undeniably worried undertone. His younger brother had adamantly refused to say more about the time he had spent as the Trickster’s prisoner ever since he had told him and Bobby that he had suffered from panic attacks whenever he had tried to leave the cabin and Dean might have welcomed Sam’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, if it hadn’t been all too clear that he was suffering.

“Uh yeah,” Sam admitted, turning the page of the newspaper finally, “Sorry, I got distracted.”

Chances were he hadn’t missed anything important, however. Bobby held his ears and eyes open for Apocalyptic and demonic signs and Castiel was going to inform them of any seal-breaking activity, as well. Leafing through the ‘World Weekly News’ on the search for any hunts they could take in the meantime hadn’t exactly been a task that had kept the younger Winchester too busy to get lost in his thoughts. It didn’t help that a lot of things described in the paper had reminded him of the Trickster in one way or the other.

“That happens a lot lately,” Dean pointed out, putting his hand on the newspaper to force his brother to stop hiding behind it, “If there’s something you gotta talk about…”

“I’m fine, Dean,” Sam repeated for what felt like the thousandth time since he had been back with his brother. Telling the truth was completely impossible in this case. He just knew that Dean wouldn’t understand. Hell, he didn’t understand it himself! The younger Winchester had taken quite some time until he had been ready to admit only to himself that he was heartbroken and homesick. Both things were completely irrational of course, but knowing just how stupid he was being alone apparently wasn’t enough to force the feelings to go away.

“Like hell you are!” the older Winchester insisted, giving his brother a pointed look.

“I’ve been forced to stay in a cabin for a couple of weeks,” Sam replied, ignoring the noticeable sting even saying that much gave him, “You went to hell for months! I’d think, if one of us needs to talk, it’s not me.”

They stared at each other for a few very long and very tense moments after that. In the end, they came to the unspoken agreement that neither one of them had anything to share.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, a wishing well,” Dean stated with a shrug, “That’s a new one.”

The talking, drinking, manic depressive teddy bear had been a good clue that this actually might be what was going on, however. Not to mention that the little girl’s parents also had left for a trip to Bali her mother had wished for so suddenly that they had left the kid home alone and there was that new lotto millionaire the older Winchester had read about in the paper earlier.

“Okay,” Dean added a moment later, fishing a coin out of his pocket, “Let’s test this thing!”

Sam didn’t have enough time to stop his brother before he had already thrown the coin into the fountain. He was pretty sure that this just couldn’t end well, however. These things never did. People didn’t get what they wished for and if they did they usually sold their souls in the process.

At least, the sandwich the older Winchester got delivered to him all of a sudden seemed like a harmless enough wish.

“I’ll be damned, that was quick,” Dean commented, looking at the sandwich for a few long moments before he took a bite, nodding approvingly at the taste, “Your turn, Sammy.”

The younger Winchester shook his head, turning away from the fountain and walking toward one of the tables around, so they could discuss what they were going to do next.

“What? Come on, Sam, what would you wish for?” the older Winchester asked again, giving his brother a questioning look. Sure, a sandwich wasn’t exactly Dean’s greatest wish, but he had never said that Sam couldn’t say that he’d wish for the newest edition of ‘National Geographic’ or whatever got his little geek heart beating faster. His brother’s complete refusal to even consider the question only made him want to hear an answer more.

“Nothing,” the younger Winchester stated, looking back toward the fountain, considering what they should do about it. They should probably keep people from making any more wishes at least until they knew what sort of magic this was.

“Don’t give me that kind of crap now. There’s gotta be something you’d want,” Dean persisted, putting the sandwich down. His younger brother was being a total buzzkill and while that wasn’t exactly out of character for him, it still made Dean lose his appetite.

“Not that way, Dean,” Sam replied seriously before he relented, “I’d wish that you had never gone to hell.”

It wasn’t a completely selfless wish, either. If Dean had never gone to hell, Sam was pretty sure that he wouldn’t have spent those weeks with G… the Trickster. A lot of issues both of them were having would be gone, if only his older brother had never had to pay the price for his deal.

In the end they really shut the Chinese restaurant in which the wishing well was located down and found the item responsible for everything that was happening in the town. Of course, it turned out that it was definitely a curse and not a blessing. The lore on the coin they had found in the fountain had been pretty clear about that already, but the food poisoning Dean got for eating the sandwich he had wished for was eliminated every last trace of doubt. Freaking typical!

 

* * *

 

 

A part of Sam wished that they had been wrong and this Wes that had gotten engaged to a girl completely out of his league all of a sudden hadn’t been the guy they were looking for. They had had to find the person who had first thrown the cursed coin into the fountain and get them to take it out again to end all this, so it was be better for everyone that it had turned out that Wes had done it very quickly, but that also meant that he had wished for the love of his fiancée and had forced that woman to love him with it.

“I… I wished she’d love me more than anything,” Wes admitted as they were driving back to the Chinese restaurant, “I didn’t even think it’d work, but then all of a sudden…”

Sam wasn’t exactly proud of himself, but the only thing keeping him from punching the guy right in the stupid face was the fact that he couldn’t reach him on the backseat.

“And it never occurred to you that that there was something wrong with that?” Dean asked incredulously. Hey, he might have some loose morals concerning bed partners, but something like that made alarm bells go off in his mind, too.

“We were happy,” Wes replied defensively.

“You. You were happy,” Sam snapped, turning back to glare at the man with enough intensity that he gulped, “She doesn’t even know what you did, does she? Did you ever tell her that it was all fake? That you didn’t leave her a choice? That you freaking forced her…?”

The younger Winchester hadn’t exactly planned his little tirade before he had started to speak, but he was pretty sure that he would have found a few more choice words, if his brother hadn’t suddenly stopped the car.

“And that right there is another reason why you made a pretty bad decision,” Dean stated, pointing toward the little kid who had suddenly developed superpowers and was in the process of turning the car holding a couple of bullies over.

“Okay, I’ll handle Superman and you get him to the restaurant,” the older Winchester decided, already getting out of the car before he turned back for a moment to add, “And if he refuses to take the coin out, cut off his hand. Pretty sure the curse won’t care about bloody loopholes.”

Sam was too surprised by that little outburst to form a coherent reply before his brother was already gone. The younger Winchester hurried to get behind the wheel and drive the rest of the way, after that.

“He… he didn’t mean it?” Wes asked, obviously freaked out. It wasn’t ever day that he got threatened with dismemberment and he really didn’t like how serious the older Winchester had sounded about it. That combined with the way the other brother had spoken to him earlier, he really didn’t feel safe around them.

Sam shook his head. He was pretty sure that Dean hadn’t been all that serious about the suggestion anyway and even more sure that he wouldn’t do anything alike.

“Do you really think that…?” Wes added in a quiet tone just before they reached their destination. As little as he liked to admit it, he had had his doubts even before he had heard how his actions could doom his entire hometown.

“Wes, you said you loved her long before you made that wish,” Sam replied in a reasonable tone, “Is she still the girl you fell in love with as things are now?”

Really, how could she be? If she had never even taken a second look at Wes before he had forced her to love him with that wish, that alone was a pretty big change in behavior and chances were that a lot of other things were different, too.

The other man didn’t say anything, but he followed Sam toward the entrance of the restaurant willingly. The younger Winchester didn’t even get a moment to count this as a win before he was struck by lightning and dropped to the ground.

Hel was at the fallen human’s side instantly, looking after the Wes as he ran toward the wishing well for a moment before she crouched down touch Sam’s cheek. If there was something the goddess knew everything about it was death and she knew that this one had been caused by things that could yet be undone.

“Helen?” the younger Winchester’s asked, his spirit standing right next to his body. He most likely hadn’t fully realized what had just happened yet, however. Either that, or he took being dead remarkably well.

“Just stay where you are, Sam. We’ll get you back into your body,” Hel promised, smiling at the human who by the looks of it was starting to piece things together. That other guy should better hurry to undo the curse, or he’d have the hell of a pagan curse on his very ass in a minute. The goddess had learned a lot of things from her father and didn’t exactly have problems using them on people under certain circumstances, after all!

“It’s time to move on, Sam Winchester,” the figure that had appeared next to the two stated in a grave tone.

The goddess all but hissed, appearing much more threatening than Sam had ever assumed she could be as she faced the reaper. Lifting the curse would undo the damage done to the younger Winchester’s body in any case, but that would be of no use, if his soul moved on before that happened.

“Get lost, vulture,” Hel commanded, standing firmly between the reaper and the human, “I will fight you tooth and nail, if you force me to.”

Sam had to admit that he hadn’t given Helen much thought in the past days, but seeing her again like this was all he needed to put the pieces together. Hel and her dog Fenrir. He had even made a joke about that not too long ago. It seemed like it hadn’t been a joke after all, if the way she obviously spoke to dead people and had reapers scared enough of her to keep their distance was any indication. Not to mention that he could have sworn that there was some kind of otherworldly glow all around her.

“You are out of your jurisdiction,” the reaper shot back, but he was retreating already, anyway. The curse that had killed the human had just been lifted and from the victorious look on her face the goddess knew it, too.

The younger Winchester had been about to say something when he was yanked back into his body so suddenly that he was left disoriented once more. When he finally managed to pull himself together and get to his feet, Hel was gone already.

 

* * *

 

 

“Wes, uh…” Sam started a little reluctantly just as they were about to take their leave, “You should try to give Hope a chance to actually get to know you the normal way. Look, I don’t know you that well, but I guess it’s possible that she never saw you, because you’re good at making yourself invisible. Just think about it.”

It was hard to say if Wes or Dean looked more surprised by the speech he had just given, but the younger Winchester felt embarrassed either way. What was he of all people doing handing out relationship advice, anyway?

“Sam, I’ve been thinking,” the older Winchester commented after they had driven for a while and had left the town behind them.

“Before or after that kid beat you up?” Sam asked teasingly.

“Shut up, bitch. This is serious,” Dean shot back much more gravely than his younger brother would have expected, “Okay, yes, I’ve been in hell and believe me that makes for awesome nightmares, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t talk about the things the fucking Trickster did to you.”

The older Winchester had given this some thoughts and he supposed he could understand that his brother would feel like he had to downplay the things he had gone through, but frankly that was just stupid. Dean wasn’t the one of them who always had to talk about everything, so it was only natural for him to repress the memories whenever he could and deal in other ways. That didn’t mean that Sam had to keep his mouth shut, though.

“Yes, it does,” the younger Winchester sighed after a long moment of silence, “Dean… it’s not…”

He closed his eyes, fighting to come up with the right way to explain at least enough to let his brother know why he didn’t want to speak about this, especially not to him. Dean had taken a step toward him that he wouldn’t have expected him to take. Even if he hadn’t said much, he still had admitted that his time in hell had left a pretty deep impression on him. Sam had known that before, had seen it in the way his brother had troubles sleeping through the nights among other things, but still to hear him say it was a lot coming from Dean.

“He was pretty damn nice to me most days,” the younger Winchester finally managed to say, “I didn’t know who I was or who he was, but I had those moments when I would remember a thing or two and he was always there to take care of me when that brought me down.”

Not to mention all the other things Gabe had done for him and especially the way he used to touch him no matter if it was about comfort or something else entirely. There was no way Sam could ever tell his brother the entire story.

“That was mighty big of him. Not like he gave you all those troubles in the first place,” Dean snorted, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. He thought he could understand his younger brother’s reluctance to speak about these things a little better now. He really hoped it was about the fact that Sam felt somewhat ashamed for liking the Trickster for a while and not because he had honestly feared that Dean might mock him for it, however.

“What did you remember?” the older Winchester asked when the silence between them became too tense for his liking. He wasn’t quite sure why he had come up with that question of all things and he really didn’t know what kind of answer he had expected, but there was no use denying that the one he got surprised him.

“You.”


	21. Chapter 21

**21**

 

“Come on, Sammy. We got the night off. Let’s hit the bar!” Dean suggested as cheerfully as he would get these days. He really was trying to get an upbeat mood across and motivate his younger brother to give in and come with him that way. Sure, he really wanted to have one of those ordinary nights out that had evaded him ever since he had returned from hell, but getting Sam to enjoy himself too would have been the cherry on top.

“I’d rather stay here,” the younger Winchester replied with an apologetic look, “I’ve got a bit of a headache.”

He wasn’t proud of himself for lying to his brother, but it seemed unavoidable. There was something Sam had been planning to do for days now, but he couldn’t as long as Dean was watching him as intently as he did these days. He was pretty sure that his older brother wouldn’t have let him go through with his plan, anyway. There were a lot of things Sam would have to explain, if he ever wanted to make him understand, but chances were he wouldn’t get far before they’d just yell at each other. Not to mention that he really didn’t want to explain these things in the first place.

“Gee, Samantha, I didn’t ask you for sex,” Dean shot back with a smirk that still gave away that he was gauging his younger brother’s reaction to that very carefully. If Sam responded in a way that the older Winchester didn’t like or didn’t think was natural, he wouldn’t leave him alone, that was for sure.

“Jerk,” the younger Winchester replied, shaking his head disapprovingly. He chuckled right afterward, however. Sometimes it was too easy to see that Dean’s time in hell had influenced his behavior heavily – watching him going through the motions of his nightmares every other night didn’t help – but sometimes he’d just do or say these things that were so undeniably Dean. That never failed to make Sam feel a bit better about their general situation, either.

“That’s my bitch,” the older Winchester grinned, ruffling his younger brother’s hair before he turned to leave the motel room, “Don’t wait up.”

Sam huffed out a short laugh before he went back to acting like he was searching for something on the laptop. He had decided to wait at least five minutes after Dean had left before he’d set things into motion. Chances were nothing was going to happen, but he still wanted to make sure that his brother wasn’t too likely to walk in.

Luckily he had decided to put the paper Helen had given to him into his wallet and luckily he had remembered that take it with him when he had left the cabin. Sam knew that it was quite likely that the number she had given him would be a dead end – a pagan goddess with a mobile phone? – but he had to try, anyway.

The younger Winchester tried not to be too disappointed when his call got redirected to the sort of voice mail that wasn’t personalized at all after a few rings. Chances were he had the entire night to try again. Dean’s had this theory that Castiel completely rebuilding his body had somehow made him a virgin again and he was all too keen on losing that virginity again, after all. Somehow Sam didn’t think that ‘I’m a virgin’ was that much of a great pick up line, but he also didn’t doubt that his brother could be highly successful with it.

He had only just closed the laptop when there was a knock on the door which made his hand go to the knife he was carrying around instinctively before he went to answer it.

“I figured, if you want to talk, we should do it face to face,” Hel commented in the way of greeting, “Can I come in?”

Sam stepped aside immediately, closing the door behind her. He had meant to ask her to meet him anyway, so this was exactly what he had wanted. The way she smiled at him before she took a seat in one of the rickety motel chairs told him that he hadn’t made too much of a mistake, too.

“I never got to say thanks for what you did the other day,” the younger Winchester started, sitting across from her. He wasn’t sure what would have happened, if Hel hadn’t commanded that reaper to leave him alone, but it wouldn’t have been good.

The goddess shrugged, “I’m not just watching you for shits and giggles, you know?”

“So, you are following us around?” Sam asked with a small frown. Sure, he hadn’t actually believed that it had been a coincidence that she had shown up exactly at the right moment to help him, but hearing her confirm it just like that still was surprising. It really wasn’t all that nice to think like that, but he had expected lies and half-truths instead of any clear answers.

“Not all the time, I’ve got things to do sometimes,” Hel replied casually. Of course, Fenrir usually took over the watch when she had to leave, but she had the feeling that telling Sam about that would only make him paranoid.

“Did he-? No, wait, I actually don’t want to know,” the younger Winchester started a question, but thought better of it just a moment later. He had nothing to gain by hearing if the Trickster had told her to keep an eye on him. He wasn’t even quite sure, if it would be worse to hear that he had or that he hadn’t.

“Sam, you’re my friend, I don’t need daddy dearest to tell me to look after you,” the goddess stated a little evasively. That she would have done it without being told to as well didn’t mean that nobody had told her to do it, after all. Granted, she could and would have told her father to take his orders and shove them up his ass, if she really hadn’t wanted to, quite possibly in those words, too.

“He’s your father then,” Sam nodded to himself. That finally gave them a name to attach to the Trickster, too. Loki, the Norse god of mischief and chaos. It made a lot of sense, all things considered.

“Does it make a difference?” Hel asked. She hadn’t seen the point in lying about her father’s identity anymore. Sure, names held power, but given Loki’s dirty little secret – the angelic one, as opposed to all his other dirty little secrets – it wouldn’t be possible to harm him with any rituals or spells that used his name alone. Besides, the goddess severely doubted that Sam even had anything alike in mind.

“After everything else? No, it doesn’t,” the younger Winchester chuckled humorlessly before he finally spoke about the real reason why he had tried to get in contact with her, “Hel, I… I wanted to ask you for a favor.”

Things couldn’t go on the way they had ever since he had gotten his memory back that much was for sure. Sam had spent quite some time thinking things over before he had called Hel and he had made up his mind about all of this. They’d still have to talk about the specifics, because he wasn’t completely sure how this could work preferably without Dean going through the roof over it. Actually, the last part might be the hardest thing about the entire plan.

“A human calling a god to ask for a favor? I’m shocked!” Hel replied teasingly, she looked back at the tall human seriously, though. He shouldn’t think that she was only making fun of him. If he had a reasonable request to make – preferably one that would lead to him and her father speaking again – she would be all too willing to give him what he wanted. Of course, Sam just had to completely disappoint her, however.

“I know he did things to my mind to make me forget,” the younger Winchester stated, “You can do that too, right?”

Now that he knew that Hel’s cousin was actually her father it would make even more sense for her to possess that kind of power.

“No, no, no, you’re not asking me for that,” the goddess exclaimed, rising from her seat before she had even made the conscious decision to move. What Sam had just asked her for was something she wasn’t even willing to consider, however. Hel wouldn’t even pretend that she hadn’t made her fair share of mistakes and that she had never treated people – human or otherwise – wrong, but she liked to think that she had grown out of some of the imprudence of her youth, at least.

“Why not?” the younger Winchester asked, standing up to grab her arm simply to keep her from just up and leaving. Chances were that the goddess knew that this was the only reason why he had grabbed her too, otherwise he was pretty sure he would have gotten a stronger reaction than a mildly annoyed look.

“Because it’s stupid as hell,” Hel answered in a surprisingly gentle tone, “You don’t really want me to invade your mind and play with your memories!”

Loki would absolutely hate to hear about this, too. She would make sure to let him know just how far he had pushed the man with his mind games, however. There was no use sparing her father from uncomfortable truths when she wanted him to have any chance to maybe mend the bond he had clearly had with the younger Winchester even the slightest little bit.

“It’s not that I _want_ it so much,” Sam clarified, “I need this.”

Most of the time he felt like there were two different people inside his head these days and while they were both different versions of him, the things they wanted and the way they viewed their lives just didn’t go together.

“Why?” Hel questioned, “Hey, if you expect me to change my mind about something I absolutely don’t want to do, you’ll have to give me good reasons and I better believe every word you say.”

She already knew that she wasn’t going to give in, but the answer to her question would give her some very valuable information about the state of mind the younger Winchester was in. Wanting someone to delete a part of his memories was a pretty drastic step to take, so he had had to have good reasons and she would get to the bottom of this.

“Do you have any idea what the Trickster did to Dean? What he did to me? He made me watch my brother die over and over and over and when I thought he was finally done he killed him again and left him dead for six months. I can’t even put into words how much I hate the bastard,” Sam tried to explain, even though it was very hard for him to find the right words, especially for the second part, “And then there’s Gabe…”

The younger Winchester’s voice started to waver at that part and he had to stop talking. To tell the truth, he wouldn’t have known how to express what he needed to say, anyway. Admitting that that other part of him still had strong feelings for the man who had made him feel loved and cared for was too damn painful.

“You still love him,” Hel replied, failing to keep her voice neutral. She managed to mask the elation as surprise, at least. Alright, her father had fucked up royally, but it was a fact that having Sam around had been damn good for him and the human had been happy with the way things had been, too. Sure, it was going to be a pretty big piece of work, but hearing that Sam still had feelings for Gabriel gave her just a little hope that given the time they might work something out again.

“It doesn’t matter, he never even fucking existed!” the younger Winchester shot back bitterly, the pain clearly to be heard in his voice. Really, that was the worst part about the entire story. He could have dealt with having some positive feelings for the Trickster somehow. At least he thought so. Loving a person who never existed in the first place, but who still seemed all too real to him was so much worse, though.

“Sam…” Hel sighed. There was nothing she wanted more than to just tell the human that he was wrong, that Gabe existed and that the person Sam had come to know and love was much more like the person her father really was than that Trickster persona he used to mess with hunters and people who deserved it from his point of view. She had no right to reveal all this and he wouldn’t believe her anyway, however. This was something Loki would have to clarify himself.

“He had no right to do this to me,” Sam insisted, surprised by the weakness in his tone. He had meant to make an accusation, to be angry about this, but instead he just felt an awful emptiness.

“I’m sorry,” Hel sighed sadly, pulling the human into her arms for a tight hug. She didn’t say if she was sorry for the things her father had done or if she was sorry for denying Sam his wish to just forget, but she didn’t have to, anyway. They both knew that it was a mixture of both.

The two of them didn’t even get enough time to put some space between them before the motel room door opened and Dean walked back in.

“Hey Sammy, Cas says he’s got…” the older Winchester started but trailed off when he saw that his brother was currently with a woman, “Dude, it’s not that hard to put a tie on the door handle!”

Dean’s apparent amusement was replaced with confusion as soon as Castiel stood halfway in front of him like he was seriously trying to protect him and produced a blade from the sleeve of his trenchcoat for all it looked like. The joke about how the angel really should know that something like females existed too died right on the older Winchester’s lips when the woman’s eyes literally flared.

“Don’t!” Sam exclaimed, forcefully pulling Hel behind himself to shield her from the angel who clearly had gotten the wrong idea here, “I asked her to come!”

He had wanted to add how she was his friend, but he never got the chance before his brother glared daggers at him and demanded, “You what?”

“Thank you,” Hel whispered, resisting the urge to ruffle the human’s hair or tell him how cute she thought that sort of chivalry was. She chose to take her leave as quickly as possible instead, disappearing under the disapproving glares of both Castiel and Dean.

“She’s my friend,” Sam admitted, just hoping that the angel wasn’t going to take off in a second as well. He wasn’t quite sure who would win in a battle between an angel and a pagan goddess, but he really didn’t want to find out, either.

“Your friend? Since when are you friends with monsters?” Dean finally kicked the door closed with more force than necessary as he stalked toward his younger brother. He had known that something had been up with him ever since he had gotten him back, but he’d have never imagined something like this!

“Hel is not a monster. She knows the Trickster and… I’ve met her there,” Sam insisted, knowing he wasn’t making a very good point.

“And that makes her your friend how?” Dean shot back, raising his voice. It was astonishing that Castiel kept quiet through all of this, but he wasn’t exactly in the state of mind where he could give that too much thought.

“Dean, please, trust me in this,” the younger Winchester pleaded, knowing that once more he couldn’t explain this in a way that would make his brother understand. He could have told him the entire story with all the details and Dean still wouldn’t be able to understand why Sam just knew that Hel was trustworthy.

“Why did you draw your knife?” the older Winchester asked Castiel instead of giving a response to his brother or even looking at him for the moment being.

“It is called an angel blade,” the angel replied matter-of-factly before he considered the actual question, “It was a precaution. We need you and I was not going to take any chances.”

Dean blinked a couple of times before he chose to ignore the part about how the angels needed him and focus on the part where the angel had tried to protect him, “Thanks Cas. So, did you actually need to protect us from her?”

Sam exhaled soundly, but a pointed look from his brother stopped him from saying anything just yet. Alright, Dean was going somewhere with this and he probably should let him go through with that conversation he was having with Cas, if only because they might yet be able to avoid a full blown yelling match.

“Hel is not known to be extraordinarily malevolent and what little powers she showed was only a demonstration of her willingness to fight, should I strike first,” the angel replied truthfully, even though he wasn’t that sure what the human actually wanted to know. He was pretty sure that there was a hidden meaning behind the question, even if he didn’t understand it, yet.

“Okay. I don’t like this. You lied to me, so you’d get to meet up with a pagan god of all things,” the older Winchester stated after a long moment of silence, looking at both the other men in the room, “But if you say she’s your friend and you say she’s sort of okay. I trust you.”

Sam couldn’t keep the kind of silly smile off his face while Castiel seemed mostly puzzled, but both of them acknowledged what a big step this was for Dean.

“This was your one free pass,” the older Winchester warned his brother just to make sure that he understood where they stood, “Don’t go sneaking around behind my back again!”

Yeah, that still didn’t make it any less of a big step.


	22. Chapter 22

**22**

 

The fingers that were running through his hair were very gentle, applying just a minimum of pressure at first. Sam sighed happily and leaned into the touch. He immediately got rewarded with firmer touches and finally a pair of all too familiar lips pressed to his.

“I love you,” Gabriel whispered between kisses that grew more desperate by the second.

The younger Winchester played along for a few long moments before he grabbed the shorter man’s shoulders and kept him from continuing the frantic pace that was starting to freak him out a little. He didn’t get what all the hurry was about. Sure, he was starting to feel a certain kind of urgency as well, but this felt more like Gabe was trying his damndest to swallow him whole before he could disappear.

“It’s okay,” Sam tried to reassure the other man with a gentle smile, “I love you, too.” He let go of Gabriel’s shoulders then, pulling him closer to his chest until there was no space left between them and leaned down for a short, tender kiss, “We’ve got time.”

The moment the words left the younger Winchester’s mouth he already knew that there was something wrong with them. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was obviously something that he had forgotten to take into account here. Gabe seemed to feel it too, because he just smiled sadly and shook his head.

“I miss you,” the shorter man stated in a thick voice and Sam wanted nothing more than to hold him and reassure him again, but he could feel the distance between them growing already.

The younger Winchester’s eyes snapped open just as the panicky feeling of a loved one slipping away while he was powerless to stop it reached its peak. Of course, as soon as he shook the dream off completely he also remembered that he shouldn’t have wanted to hold on to that particular person in the first place.

“Must have been one hell of a good dream turned bad,” Dean commented from across the room where he was cleaning his guns. Sam wasn’t even sure how often he had seen his brother do that ever since they were on the road together again. At least, it looked like it calmed and reassured Dean rather than that he was preparing for something really stupid.

The younger Winchester nodded dumbly, getting out of bed to join his brother by the table. He wasn’t quite sure how much the movements and possibly sounds he had made in his sleep had given away. Chances were that Dean’s reaction would have been much more extreme, if there had been anything to show who Sam had been dreaming about, though.

Both Winchesters were saved from having to talk about the reasons why they had woken up before dawn, even though they weren’t even on a hunt, when Castiel and Uriel arrived.

Sam had heard enough of the second angel to know that he was the reason why Dean had a pretty low opinion of angels in general, with the exception of Cas, and to know that he was ruthless.

“Lilith is in the process of breaking another seal,” Castiel explained.

Ironically, having to deal with something like that really helped Sam with forgetting about the dream he had had for a while at least.

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel had a lot of practice with conspiracies and unlikely alliances against the one or the other person. Being around pagan gods for as long as he had he had had to learn how to get to the bottom of things like that very quickly or he’d have been screwed. The archangel had learned that the hard way.

Then again, heaven hadn’t been that different at the time he had decided to leave. The schemes had been of a different kind, but they had been there, too.

Getting to the core of the conspiracy centered around getting Sam and Dean Winchester to the point where heaven and hell needed them to be was damn hard, however. Gabriel knew all about double- and triple-crossing, but this seemed to be going even further than that.

After spending some time uselessly trying to follow all the threads to see how they went together and who they connected to, he had decided to go to the one person he already knew was involved in all this.

“The lead that brought Sam to that warehouse where those demons jumped him came from you,” the archangel stated calmly, waving his hand to shut the door behind the demon and trap her inside the hotel room at the same time.

She was acting all tough of course, looking at him defiantly and like she didn’t have to be scared of him at all, but it wasn’t that hard to see through that. Of course, Ruby had a damn good reason to be terrified. Gabriel had made sure to bring the pagan god powers on full force, so being in the same room with him had to be uncomfortable for the demon.

“What were you hoping to achieve with that, I wonder?” the archangel spoke on in a sickenly sweet tone, smirking when she narrowed her eyes and refused to say anything to his question, “Sweety, you might as well just admit it. Your little schemes are not that hard to look through. You were going to play savior at the last moment and then help the healing along with some demon blood.”

It wasn’t even a question this time. It might not have been that easy to follow leads that were over three months old at this time, but while Ruby was damn good at hiding a lot of things, she obviously neglected to cover up her steps when she didn’t see a reason to at the time. Gabriel could have given her a lecture on the stupidity of such negligence, but why bother?

The woman pressed her lips into a tight line and crossed her arms in front of her chest, still refusing to say anything.

“Came a little too late, didn’t you?” Gabriel added, willing a lollipop into existence just to go one step further with showing how much in control of the entire situation he was and that he really had nothing to worry about.

“You,” Ruby finally hissed, pointing an accusing finger at the god in front of her. Not managing to get closer to the Winchesters again meant that she hadn’t been able to even get a clue about what had happened to Sam from them and somehow it still was a well kept secret all around.

“Guilty,” the archangel shrugged lightly before his expression turned ice-cold, “Lilith is breaking all those seals to get Lucifer out of his cage and you are the one who’s preparing the final step, yet the two of you don’t work together. How does that work?”

The demon smirked, feeling like she finally had the upper hand here. There were things she knew that he didn’t, things that were absolutely vital to understanding how this game was played. She only got a moment of small triumph before she was thrown against the wall and held there by an invisible force.

“Fuck you,” Ruby ground out, fighting with everything she had and even trying to abandon her host body before she had to acknowledge that none of this would work.

“You are not smart enough to come up with something as complex as this entire thing you’re a part of yourself,” Gabriel replied, grabbing Ruby’s chin to force her to look at him, “Who is pulling your strings?”

No matter if Sam ever wanted to see him again – let alone give him another chance – he wanted to make sure that the human was as safe as he could be. Discovering who exactly the people who wanted to harm him were was the first step to achieve that. Ruby and Lilith obviously had to go, but there was more to this and as long as they didn’t get the younger Winchester to the point where they needed him they were bound to fail, anyway. Someone else was also sure to try and push and pull until Sam broke, however. Gabriel wasn’t going to allow that to happen!

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you anything?” Ruby spat.

“We’ve got a lot of time,” the archangel answered, tightening his grip on her chin until it had to be painful, “And I am very creative.”

 

* * *

 

 

“People are just crazy,” Dean commented with a disgusted expression, loosening his tie as they walked out of the morgue. They hadn’t been able to see all of the bodies, since all the deaths had been ruled to have happened because of natural reasons and some of them had been buried already, but the cause of death wasn’t what had prompted the older Winchester’s statement, anyway.

“At least it doesn’t look like they had to suffer,” Sam sighed, walking next to his brother.

The seal Castiel and Uriel had informed them about would be broken, if thirteen parents signed over the life of their firstborn child on thirteen consecutive days. According to the angels they had only been able to pick up on the activities going on after nine days, because the spell Lilith was working here was gaining power with every dead child.

To make things worse, the children hadn’t had anything in common. Not that the Winchesters had been able to tell this far, anyway. That left them with simply too many possible victims to stop the next parents from sealing the deal they must have made with Lilith.

In the end they decided to talk to the parents of the previous victims, hoping that at least some would break and give them more information if they put enough pressure on them. It wasn’t like the bastards that had sold their own kids didn’t deserve it!

The first couple completely refused to admit to anything and Sam and Dean were forced to leave before they called the police on them. They still were posing as FBI agents, but drawing attention to the fact that they were harassing the families of recently deceased children with strange questions would only get them in trouble. There were still a few others they could try their luck with.

It was the third one they finally got lucky with, but not before Dean lost his temper and yelled at the couple, trying to come across as grieving parents.

“You sold the life of your own kid to some demon!” the older Winchester roared, standing uncomfortably close to the man and his wife, “Don’t you dare try to play the grieving parents card with me now!”

Sam was preparing to keep his brother from actually hitting someone, but kept in the background for the moment being. His patience with the people acting like they deserved pity had its limits, as well. He had to admit that these two had seemed more genuine than the others to him, however.

“A demon?” Christine Howard whispered, her face paling even more. For all it looked like she had only just realized what had happened and that made both Winchesters pause for a moment.

“Lilith, she might have looked like… basically anyone, maybe even a little girl,” Sam explained, carefully observing the reactions both parents gave to his words, “She would have let you sign some sort of contract, maybe with blood, maybe seal it with a kiss and she must have promised you something in return.”

He knew that he wasn’t being very specific, but there simply were too many ways this might have gone and assuming those two really hadn’t known what they were doing at the time, he’d have to give them a list of options to choose from.

“Debby, our little baby… she was very sick… we went to a witch,” Christine replied, obviously rather close to passing out now that she started to fully realize what had happened to her five year old son. Hearing that they had traded the life of one kid for that of the other was the worst thing anyone could have ever told them and she just didn’t know how to live with that in the future.

“She gave us this spell, said we had to read it out loud that day,” her husband added, wrapping his arms around his sobbing wife. He looked at least as worse for the wear as she did, however.

“Alright, where is this witch? And do you still have that spell?” Dean asked, still annoyed, but trying to keep moderately calm, at least. If those people really had been tricked like they said they had been, they were already being punished severely.

 

* * *

 

 

A part of Gabriel enjoyed torturing people, there was no use denying that. He had chosen the role of a vengeful trickster god for himself after all, something he wouldn’t have done, if he hadn’t enjoyed it a little at least.

Leaving heaven had left him disillusioned and bitter for quite some time, not to mention that he had had to agree with Lucifer a little right from the start. While he didn’t think that all humans were the cockroaches that his older brother thought they were, he also wouldn’t deny that quite a few of them were so bad that comparing them to cockroaches was an insult to those little crawlers. So yeah, punishing those that deserved it in his eyes had been something Gabriel had always enjoyed.

“I can do this all day,” the archangel commented, pressing the knife he had conjured up earlier into the demon’s flesh a little further. Ruby had been kind enough to inhabit an empty meatsuit too which meant that he didn’t even have to feel a little bad for the poor girl who was on the ride due to no fault of her own. Nope, the original owner of the body was long gone.

“Please, where I come from… we call this tender… loving… care,” Ruby spat, her eyes pitch black. She had to cough up blood ever so often since the bastard had punctured her lungs some time earlier, but this was nothing she couldn’t handle.

“I’m calling it warm-up,” Gabriel shot back, producing a second knife. She would give in eventually and even if she didn’t as soon as he managed to wear her out enough he could get everything he wanted to know straight from her head. It was doubtful that she knew the full extent of what was going on either, but she’d at least know enough to tell him what the next step had to be.

“Better start working a bit faster,” Ruby taunted. She knew she wasn’t going to get out of here alive which had loosened her tongue when it came to random insults. What was the point in pleading and hoping for pity when there wouldn’t be any, anyway?

“You getting bored?” the archangel snorted, pushing the second knife into her chest roughly. He had to admit that the demon was good with goading him, but when she kept quiet he got enough time to think to come up with a scenario that made his blood run cold. “What did you do?”

Ruby laughed at that manically and didn’t stop when a third knife was shoved into her thigh, either. It hurt, of course it did, but knowing that her torturer was getting all bothered was just too sweet.

“What did you do?” Gabriel repeated, slamming the demon’s head back against the wall. The feeling of urgency was nearly overwhelming now that it became apparent that Ruby was too smug to only be acting like there was something when there wasn’t.

“Hope you didn’t hang your heart on little Sammy,” the demon chuckled, spitting some more blood to the floor which still didn’t keep her from looking smug, “He’s ours.”

Possessiveness flared up in the archangel so quickly that he couldn’t control himself in time to keep from smiting Ruby on the spot. He hadn’t unleashed this much of his powers in centuries and knew that he’d have to cover this up quickly, if he didn’t want to have a bunch of angels on his ass. But before that he had to make sure to get into contact with Hel. Something big was undoubtedly coming their way…


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

 

Looking at how the magic shop where the Howards had gotten the spell that had let them trade their son’s life for their daughter’s unintentionally was one of those places that were much more into all things feel-good and feng-shui than anything really magical made it somewhat more understandable how they could have been tricked like that.

Of course, Dean’s point about them being stupid enough to recite a spell in Latin without even bothering to use Google translator or anything else like it first still stood. If they had actually done that they would have found out that they were promising the life of their firstborn in exchange for getting a wish granted. The wording of the spell was crystal clear, if you understood the language that was. That also made Sam shiver with the thought that some of the parents who had used that very incantation might have known exactly what they were doing, or had had enough of an idea, anyway.

Lucky for them, it wasn’t Lilith personally who was now inhabiting the woman behind the counter, but of course an ordinary demon was still able to throw them both across the room before fleeing out the back door.

Sam and Dean were back on the feet nearly instantly and took chase, but the street was pretty busy which limited their chances for weapon use and the demon was damn fast.

“Son of a bitch!” the older Winchester exclaimed, putting his gun away before someone could see and probably cause a panic among the pedestrians because of it.

At least, they were free to look for clues in the now abandoned shop. The demon clearly hadn’t kept the usual shopkeeper’s calendar up to date, but the old entries still gave them something to work with. People who had come in for the consultations the woman – who likely had been more of a wiccan than a full blown witch – had offered regularly in the weeks before she had gotten possessed were quite likely to have come to the demon as well, after all.

“Alright, you take everyone living in town, I go for those outside,” Dean decided, making a copy of the list of names they now had. Most people were living close enough that a short drive to the outskirts of town would do, if they weren’t somewhere around the center of town to begin with.

“The way you cling to your baby is reaching ridiculous levels, you know that right?” Sam stated, taking the piece of paper from his brother. It was pretty clear that Dean was the one of them who would get to drive to the places and the younger Winchester didn’t think that it was about his brother being lazy. At least it wasn’t only about his brother being lazy. Oh well, he didn’t mind walking and driving the Impala made Dean happy and often helped him to relax a bit.

“One day you’ll understand what it’s like to be in love, Sammy,” the older Winchester smirked, patting his brother’s shoulder before they parted. They didn’t have much time to find and save the next victim, after all.

Sam shook his head with a crooked smile, fighting down the thoughts of Gabe who might have counted as his ‘baby’, if he hadn’t been the Trickster in disguise and if he didn’t hate the man and if... Luckily, he had a long list of places to go and that helped with keeping his mind occupied and focused on the case.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am. I’m with the public health department. According to our sources you are a patron of ‘The Crystal Tree’. Miss Mayfair has contacted a contagious disease,” the younger Winchester lied, once he had reached the first address and a middle ages woman had opened the door for him, “Have you, your partner or your children been in contact, especially in closer contact with her in the past two weeks?”

As it turned out, Sam had been right and this was a quick way to get most of the information he needed. People without children weren’t targets obviously and believing that their health was at stake often made otherwise rather tightlipped people talk, too.

About two hours later the younger Winchester was halfway through the part of the list assigned to him. He hadn’t had to have more than a very short conversation with most of the people yet and there had been nothing to suggest that those who had been at the shop in the past weeks had walked home with a serious dark arts spell in their pockets. The checkup and blood test he had advised to keep his cover wouldn’t harm them, either.

‘Nothing with Jill Miller’, Sam typed into his mobile on the way to the next address, letting Dean know that he still had nothing. His brother hadn’t been any luckier, either.

Walking through a gap between two buildings, the younger Winchester nearly jumped when Uriel suddenly appeared in front of him. There was no getting used to people just appearing out of thin air, especially not when most of the time something like that was spectacularly bad news for them.

“We’ve got a lead,” Sam told the angel, assuming that that was why he had searched him out, though it was unusual for any angel to come to him instead of Dean, “Nothing definite this far, but we’re getting closer.”

Granted, he might have exaggerated a little there, because there was no guarantee that the person or people they were looking for even were on the list, but he wasn’t going to say that. Besides, they were still searching and hadn’t reached the end of the possibilities they had, yet.

The angel didn’t even give any sort of sign that he had heard the human as he said, “It is true, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.”

“Woah, wait a second, we still have time. No need to smite the entire town!” Sam shot back fiercely. Okay, they didn’t have much time, because they wanted to safe the next child who would become a victim of this spell already, but what mattered to the angels was keeping the seal intact and they still had three more days for that!

“The fate of this town is inconsequential in the bigger picture,” Uriel replied coldly, walking up to the younger Winchester. They might be able to safe the town and the people in it for another while, but in the long run they were all doomed. As insolent and stubborn as the Winchesters has proven to be, there was no use talking to either one of them which suited the angel just right, anyway.

“It means something to us,” Sam stated defensively. He was starting to wonder what the angel wanted from him, however. What they were doing might look like they were having a completely useless talk, but it felt different. In fact, it felt rather threatening.

“You have other things you should worry about,” Uriel shrugged, smiling for the first time, but it was the sort of smile that made shivers run down the younger Winchester’s spine.

Sam got the strong feeling that he should be running, but he knew that it would be useless. Before he got a chance to try anything else, Hel was throwing herself against Uriel full force. Everything happened so fast that the younger Winchester couldn’t follow the fight, even though it was taking place right in front of him. Both the angel and the goddess were moving with superhuman speed, after all.

It wasn’t even a minute before Hel got thrown against Sam with enough force to knock them both over. The younger Winchester was still dazed when he tried to get back to his feet and had to move the goddess off him in the process. He was both startled and very worried when his hands came away bloody and Hel’s body remained limp.

“She’s got nothing to do with this!” Sam insisted, standing in front of his fallen friend. There were two things he was trying to achieve. He obviously wanted to keep Uriel from laying hands on Hel again, but he was also trying to secretly get a message to Dean to warn his brother that the angel had gone crazy. Chances were his older brother wouldn’t be able to do anything to help him here, but he might be able to defend himself or contact Castiel in time. Uriel grabbed Sam’s hand and made him drop his phone before he could hit the send button, though.

“She tried to help you. I though we had established that people close to you die all the time a while ago,” the angel commented casually. That only made his words crueler, however.

Before Uriel could get his focus back on Hel to finish her, the goddess had disappeared, however. The angel’s face contorted in rage, making him look much more like a demon than the heavenly being he was supposed to be. Then again, after everything they had learned lately, the angels the younger Winchester had prayed to for most of his life didn’t exist, anyway.

The last thing on Sam’s mind before Uriel knocked him out was that at least this time nobody had died for him.

 

* * *

 

 

When the younger Winchester opened his eyes again he found himself in a situation that was much more familiar to him than it should have been to anyone. He was bound to a chair in some dingy cabin that was nothing alike the other cabin his mind kept comparing it to. He was still too dazed to push those thoughts away completely, however.

“Have you ever wondered why demons and all sorts of other vermin feel so drawn to a mud-monkey like you?” Uriel asked as soon as he noticed that Sam was awake again. He radiated self-righteous indignation, even though he kept his voice level and stood with his hands clasped behind his back. The two men standing close to the wall, as if they were trying to keep their distance, kept quiet, but their eyes were trained on the younger Winchester as well.

Sam huffed, but didn’t grace the question with an answer. Of course he had a pretty good idea why demons felt drawn to him even when he didn’t actively search them out, which admittedly he did quite often, it came with the line of work he was in, after all.

“Azazel’s chosen one, the boy with the demon blood,” Uriel snorted, “And leader of his army of demons.”

The younger Winchester narrowed his eyes at the angel after that, until the other man grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back until his neck started to hurt.

“I’ll tell you a secret, maggot,” Uriel whispered into the human’s ear, tightening his grip and pulling his head back a little more, “It’s never been about you. You are just a means to an end and we’ll make sure that you fulfill your purpose.”

Sam gasped painfully when the angel released him again suddenly. He wasn’t sure, if what he had just heard made any sense, but it looked like Uriel had gone completely insane, so sense couldn’t be expected. He didn’t get more than a second to think about these things before the other two men stepped forward, their eyes flashing black.

The demon on his left grabbed the younger Winchester’s jaw in a vise-like grip and forced his mouth open, even as Sam struggled and tried to clench his teeth until he tasted blood. When he finally had to give in, he was greeted by the sight of the second demon giving him a dirty grin and slicing his own wrist open.

Panic flared up in the younger Winchester very quickly. Their intention was clear enough and while Sam didn’t know what exactly more demon blood in his system would do to him, the thought of drinking the stuff alone was twisted enough to make his head spin.

He tried everything to get the blood out of his mouth again when the demon brought his bleeding wrist to his lips, but in the end he had to swallow, if he wanted to breathe. The overwhelming feeling of nausea kicked in immediately, but the demons of course wouldn’t let up. Sam was convinced that he would be violently ill any moment, but before that could happen the door to the cabin was hit with enough force to take it off its hinges and make it crash into the far side of the room.

The big wolf didn’t waste a second before he jumped at the first demon and went straight for the throat. The tall, slender man with the medium length black hair who had come with him wasn’t far behind, either. Both demons didn’t get the time to abandon their host bodies before they were ripped into shreds by sharp teeth and fingernails respectively.

“Set him free,” the slender man told the wolf, nodding toward the younger Winchester, but never taking his eyes off Uriel. The angel was a bigger threat than the two demons had been, after all. There was no use underestimating him or giving him an even bigger advantage than he already had. Hel had done exactly that when she had charged without an attack plan and she had barely made it out alive to tell the tale.

Sam felt Fenrir’s hot breath on his wrists as the wolf bit through the ropes that bound him. As queasy as he still felt, once he tried to stand up he found that he didn’t even have wobbly knees. In fact, he might have even felt like there was some new strength in him, but focusing on that made him very uncomfortable again. Not that he had the time to pay much attention to that, because both the wolf and the man he had come with had assumed fighting positions and Uriel had his angel blade firmly in hand.

The angel charged just a moment later, but he didn’t get close enough to strike either one of them before an unseen force flung him back into the corner of the cabin with enough force to crack the thick wood he connected with.

Gabriel’s entrance wasn’t one of the nonchalant ones he made most of the time, he had gotten into full blown wrathful pagan god/archangel mode the very moment he had heard of all the things that had happened while he had been busy covering up Ruby’s fate. That two of his children and the man he loved still were in danger did nothing to make him calmer, either.

“Get out,” Gabriel commanded, meeting the slender man’s defiant gaze for a moment, “I’m not asking. Go!”

Fenrir took the lead, following his father’s order without second thought. The other man still didn’t look happy, but he hauled Sam along without voicing any protests. There was no use trusting that the human would get moving by himself as things were.

They didn’t get far before Sam collapsed, barely holding himself upright on his hands and knees as he finally threw up.

Fenrir gave a sympathetic whine, looking at the man standing next to him with a clear request in his eyes. They should get the younger Winchester to a safe place which didn’t automatically exclude the cave the wolf mostly used as his home base, but they should also get him to a comfortable place, preferably with the usual sanitary facilities. The last requirement ruled Fenrir’s place out and that only left…

“Forget it! He’s not done vomiting. We’re going to Hel’s,” the slender man huffed.

Sam hadn’t even heard him talking over the sound of his own heart beating erratically, but he sure as hell felt it when they changed location very suddenly.

In the meantime Uriel had gotten back to his feet and was fuming. He had known that the pagan gods were relicts of old times and vermin they should have driven to extinction ages ago!

“You just made a mistake,” the angel growled, getting a good grip on his blade and making himself ready to show the meddling pest what exactly happened to little league players who tried to mess with the big boys.

“No, you did,” Gabriel replied, his eyes flashing dangerously, “Brother.”

The archangel had to keep his powers somewhat reigned in, otherwise he would have basically been like a big flashing neon sign saying ‘Here I am, come and get me!’ to every other angel and especially his two archangel brothers, but Uriel still saw more than enough to know who he was immediately.

“You should have never touched my daughter.”


	24. Chapter 24

**24**

 

“Gabriel,” Uriel stated though it was easy enough to see that he was pretty shocked to see the archangel. Of course, nobody had known exactly what had happened to Gabriel and even less where he had disappeared to after he had left heaven, so that was reason enough for the angel to be more than surprised.

The fact that the archangel clearly was pissed off and ready to smite his ass was all the explanation needed for getting very worried, too. He’d have to think fast to get out of this. The archangel’s appearance clearly was a game-changer that the others needed to know about and Uriel didn’t have the desire to die, either.

“I would ask what the hell you think you’re doing, but there’s nothing you could say that I’d give a damn about,” Gabriel snorted, grabbing his blade a little tighter. It was true that he had always hated to watch his brothers fight and that the great war that ended with a lot of dead angels and Lucifer imprisoned in the cage had been the thing that had led to him leaving heaven behind. All of that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t smite one of his angelic siblings, if they truly deserved it. Damn, did Uriel ever deserve it!

“You know what happened to Lucifer wasn’t just,” the angel replied in a passionate tone that surprised Gabriel a little, it did nothing to make him any less angry with his brother, however. “It’s time he gets to walk free again.”

The discussion they could have had about that topic could have easily taken days and it hadn’t been that long ago that Gabriel might have had an open ear for some of the arguments Uriel might have brought up. As things were however, the archangel was neither willing to listen to anything the other angel had to say nor did he want to give Uriel even the slightest chance to come up with an escape plan. It wasn’t even about the troubles he would be in, if word that he had resurfaced and was meddling with things got out. No, Gabriel simply wanted to see Uriel get punished for everything he had done.

“If you wanted to talk, you should have done it before you put your hands on what’s mine,” the archangel sneered.

Of course, Uriel couldn’t have known about Gabriel’s involvement with the pagans and the younger Winchester, but there wasn’t an excuse in the world that the archangel would have accepted and they both knew it. That he wasn’t using his full powers so he wouldn’t be detected by more angels might work in Uriel’s favor, though.

A blur of motion was the only warning Gabriel got before the other angel charged, clearly putting every ounce of strength into the attack. The archangel deflected the blow easily enough, his brother’s next one came uncomfortably close to being a hit, though.

They both knew that Uriel didn’t stand much of a chance against an archangel, but the odds being clearly in his favor wouldn’t do jack shit for Gabriel, if his brother managed to wound him severely enough to get away and alert the people who really could harm him.

That thought firmly in mind and still fueled by anger the archangel hit the other angel square in the chest with enough force to pulverize stone or to send Uriel flying into the side of the fireplace. The impact was hard enough to make the angel loosen his grip on his own blade and before he could get a good grip again Gabriel kicked it away from him.

“You’re lucky I have places to be. No time for all the things you’d deserve, brother,” the archangel commented icily before he embedded his blade in Uriel’s chest.

 

* * *

 

 

Fenrir trotted into the bathroom of his sister’s preferred hideout when Sam was still in there after ten minutes. He wanted to make sure that the human was doing as well as he could under the circumstances and that he was recovering from the ordeal those demons and the angel had put him through. To tell the truth, he was also worried about his father and really could use any distraction he could get.

The younger Winchester didn’t look all too close to collapsing or to an epic freak out, but he was scrubbing his teeth with the toothbrush the slender man had unceremoniously pushed at him much more furiously than necessary. Fenrir could understand that, though. He still had the faint yet awful taste of demon in his mouth as well.

“So, you’re actually… the great wolf then?” Sam asked after a few moments of showing no signs that he had even realized that he wasn’t alone anymore. His mind had been mercifully mostly blank for a while, but all the things he had to deal with came crashing down on him very quickly. He once more didn’t exactly know where he was and there were a millions questions concerning the people he was with alone. The thoughts of Loki and how they had left him alone with an angel who had obviously gone dark-side were pretty damn uncomfortable, as well. Of course, there was also Dean and the fact that they had been working on saving that seal. Not to mention that Castiel was likely to be somewhere around Dean and as little as Sam liked to think of the angel like that, it wasn’t entirely impossible that he was working with Uriel.

Fenrir sighed and nudged the younger Winchester’s hand until he got the human’s attention and nodded his head to answer the question he had been asked before the tall man’s look had become vacant.

“What about Hel? Is she doing alright?” Sam wanted to know, remembering to ask yes or no questions, so the wolf could just answer with a motion of his head. That seemed to work well enough. Maybe he should have tried to get into contact with the other man for some more elaborate questions, but the younger Winchester couldn’t deny that only having to deal with the presence of the wolf he knew already was by far more comfortable.

“My sister is resting, but she will be completely healed soon enough,” Fenrir answered, smirking when the younger Winchester just stared at him with big eyes, “I had to make a decision between being a talking wolf and suddenly turning into a man. I think either one would have freaked you out, so I went with my personal preference.”

Sam nodded dumbly. Nothing the wolf had said was wrong, after all. At least, this new turn of events should make it easier to get some information and he wouldn’t be limited to questions that could be answered with gestures a wolf was capable of. It was just too bad that hearing Fenrir – the ‘dog’ he had been cuddling and playing with not that long ago – talk had rendered him speechless.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour of the house,” the wolf suggested nearly cheerily, nudging the younger Winchester’s thigh to get him moving again. There was more to see than the bathroom, after all! Besides, checking out Hel’s place might take Sam’s mind off a lot of uncomfortable things he shouldn’t be thinking about, anyway.

The human wasn’t trying to resist and simply followed Fenrir through the door and into the surprisingly well lit main room of the house. Sam had seen it for a few moments earlier before he had made a mad dash for the bathroom – the location of which the man the wolf had been with earlier had pointed out to him, remarking that he’d have to clean everything he threw up on himself – and hadn’t had a chance to appreciate how cozy and homey it was. Looking at Hel’s wardrobe that was clearly dominated by black, he wouldn’t have expected the soft pastel colors that were prevalent in at least the two rooms he had seen this far.

It might have been a little strange, but Sam had no problems imagining that the goddess would fit in here very well, however. The dark haired, slender man who was sitting on the white couch in the middle of the room was really looking out of place, however.

“What about the T… Loki?” the younger Winchester asked after a few moments of silence, fighting against the side of him that wasn’t just interested because the man had shown up to help him. He couldn’t deal with all these things at the moment however, especially not before he even knew if he’d ever see Loki again.

“No need to worry about him,” the slender man snorted, his eyes never leaving the TV screen, “There is nothing he’s better at than saving his own skin.”

Sam couldn’t help wondering where the bitterness the man had just spoken with came from, but he had a seemingly endless list of things he had to deal with and he wasn’t going to add any more items if he could help it. Most of all he had to find out where he was and how to get back to Dean as quickly as possible. He had the sinking feeling that the other two thought he was here to stay, however.

“And ours,” Fenrir commented in a perfectly friendly tone, sitting next to Sam’s leg where the human stood, “Sam, this is Jörmungandr.”

His younger brother had made it perfectly clear that he was only coming along on the rescue mission, because he didn’t want the wolf to go alone and because Uriel had hurt their sister and he had wanted to see blood for that. Fenrir still liked to remind him that their father had shown up to make sure that they were alright, however.

“Whatever,” Jörmungandr shrugged, nodding toward the human in acknowledgment. The gesture didn’t hold any warmth or friendliness, however. He didn’t know the man enough to care about him. He knew that his siblings had grown fond of him for some reason he didn’t understand and that was reason enough to act somewhat civil around him, though.

“I know, the name is a mouthful,” Fenrir chattered on, ignoring his brother’s antics as he did most of the time, “That’s why we call him Snakey.”

Sam didn’t have to look at Jörmungandr to know that he loved the nickname about as much as Sam liked being called Sammy. Then again, he had grown to appreciate it whenever Dean was using it to express affection or worry without having to use more words. The other man clearly had no fondness at all for being called ‘Snakey’, however.

“No, you don’t,” Jörmungandr demanded, narrowing his eyes at his brother for a moment before he gave the younger Winchester a hard stare to make sure that the human understood that that nickname would not be tolerated. Not that Sam would have felt tempted to use it.

“When we want to annoy him,” Fenrir amended, winking at the younger Winchester and nudging his leg. The wolf was the oldest brother here, so it was his duty to annoy his younger brother. Of course, Hel was the baby of the family, so it was her duty as a good sister to give her older brothers hell, too. Jörmungandr was just unlucky enough to be caught in the middle.

“That you do,” the dark haired man huffed. It sounded like he was a little amused at least, however. To be fair, they also called Fenrir ‘Wolfie’ or worse ‘the mutt’ at times and Hel had heard her pet name of ‘Zombie queen’ often enough over the centuries, as well.

Sam honest to God hadn’t thought that a wolf was able to snicker, but Fenrir had just proven him wrong there. It was nearly scary how a conversation between the world serpent – wasn’t that a strange way to think of the guy while he looked just like a human – and the great wolf could sound so much like ordinary brotherly bantering. In fact, a few of the things that had been said weren’t so unlike the childish bickering he and Dean might have done under the right circumstances.

Sam hadn’t stopped thinking of the danger his brother might be in for a second, but everything else that had been happening might have pushed those thoughts from the forefront of his mind for a little while. The moment he had thought of Dean, the feeling that he needed to do something to make sure nothing could possibly happen to him had returned with a vengeance, however.

“I need to warn my brother,” the younger Winchester stated with enough urgency to make both of the other beings present look at him, “Uriel betrayed us and he’s…”

He didn’t get to finish his statement before the wolf interrupted him, however. There hadn’t been much hope that they would simply listen to him and send him back to Dean, but getting the confirmation that he was once more a prisoner of sorts still didn’t feel great.

“Your brother is save with Castiel for now, father is sure he is trustworthy,” Fenrir stated with conviction, herding the human toward an armchair. Maybe sitting down would help him with settling down a little. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that likely that the younger Winchester would be convinced as easily as that.

The way Jörmungandr snorted clearly didn’t help with calming Sam’s nerves any, either. The wolf threw an evil glare into his brother’s direction. He really could have chosen a better moment for once more showing his disapproval of basically everything their father said or did. Of course, doing exactly that was basically second nature to Jörmungandr, though.

“You need to take a few deep breaths and calm down,” the wolf insisted, putting his paw over the younger Winchester’s knee once he had taken a seat. They weren’t going to let Sam go as things were no matter what, but it would be better for all of them, if he stayed somewhat content and collected.

“It’s not your brother they want, anyway,” Jörmungandr pointed out casually, switching TV channels as he was speaking, “He’s probably safer without you.”

Fenrir huffed in annoyance, but for some strange reason it seemed like the younger Winchester was considering his brother’s words and found some truth in them. The wolf wasn’t sure he agreed with the logic they were obviously following, but he wasn’t going to stir things up again.

It wasn’t that Sam particularly liked it, but the other man was right. If he was being targeted then Dean would be better off not being around him. Not that his brother was going to see things quite like that.

“That’s a good human. Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy,” Fenrir praised the human, trying to sound completely serious. When he inevitably failed, he shrugged it off and just let the snicker that was trying to escape anyway out, too.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” the younger Winchester groaned. Sure, at the time he had had no chance to know that it wasn’t all that appropriate to talk to the dog like that, but it still was embarrassing.

“I would be willing to accept a belly rub as compensation,” Fenrir stated, bumping his head against the human’s knee amiably.

“Yeah, right. I’m not falling for that,” Sam huffed. He was pretty sure that the disappointed look the wolf gave him was just part of the act, too. Why Fenrir even looked like a wolf all the time when his siblings – even the one who was supposedly a snake – were looking like humans and when he apparently could make himself look like a human if he wanted as well was another one of those questions the younger Winchester wanted answered eventually.

“He was serious,” Jörmungandr smirked, nodding his head toward his brother who took the hint and immediately rolled onto his back, presenting his belly and wagging his tail encouragingly.

After everything that had happened to him in the past months – not to mention the years before that – Sam probably shouldn’t have found this as surreal as he did, but he didn’t let that keep him from following the request. There was something he wanted to at least try and getting Fenrir, who obviously was the one of the brothers who was fonder of him, in a good mood sounded like a good idea before he voiced his request.

“Can I at least call Dean to let him know I’m okay and make sure he’s fine?” the younger Winchester asked after a few long moments of scratching the wolf’s belly in silence, “Please, I only just got him back, I need to know.”

It was Jörmungandr who handed a mobile phone over to Sam. If there was one thing he could respect, it was loyalty toward your siblings, after all.


	25. Chapter 25

**25**

 

As had to be expected the older Winchester didn’t take the news about three or four pagans keeping his brother prisoner very well. In fact, he promised to come and bust Sam out guns blazing, if the bastards didn’t release him immediately. The younger Winchester tried to reassure his brother that he was in much better hands with his three new capturers than he had been with the ones before, but of course the statement fell pretty much on deaf ears. Sam had to admit that he hadn’t made a very good point to begin with, though.

He was however glad to hear that Castiel had shown up to assist Dean with the seal shortly after the younger Winchester had sent his last text message. Together the angel and his brother had even managed to save the unfortunate child who would have been next on the list.

Sam ended the call just as Hel emerged from her bedroom, looking just a little paler – if that was even possible – and more disheveled than ever before. She seemed to be fine again otherwise, however. It actually was very heartwarming to watch how both Fenrir and Jörmungandr were fussing over their sister, hugging her and licking her hand respectively.

“I’m so glad to see you’re okay,” Hel stated, pulling the younger Winchester into her arms after her brothers were done doting over her.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that?” Sam smiled, hugging her back. Really, she had gotten herself into a confrontation with a reaper and a full blown fight with an angel because of him which was more than enough to make the younger Winchester think that she would be better off never having known him or not being his friend in the very least.

“It takes more than that to keep me down,” the goddess commented casually, ignoring the disapproving glare Jörmungandr sent her way. She knew he must have been worried, just like Sam and Fenrir clearly had been worried, but dramatizing the situation wouldn’t help any, either. She would charge the angel again without a second thought, if they ever got into a similar situation again, anyway.

It was only a few minutes later that Loki made his entrance. To tell the truth, if he hadn’t appeared in the middle of the room none of them might have even noticed, however. The god was quiet and only moved when Fenrir ran up to him, checking him over for the injuries the blood on his clothes suggested might be somewhere still.

“Oh get off me, you big puppy,” Gabriel chuckled half-heartedly, “It’s not my blood.”

Both Hel and Fenrir visibly relaxed after hearing that and Sam had to admit that he was relieved, as well. He wasn’t even trying to convince himself that he was only happy that the siblings wouldn’t have to deal with their father having been wounded or worse. As little as he liked it, the feeling was all his and stemmed from the fact that he didn’t want to see Loki hurt, at least not like this.

“Alright, kiddies,” Gabriel addressed his children a few moments later, “I’d like to talk to our guest alone for a minute.”

It wasn’t exactly surprising that Jörmungandr merely shrugged and went to leave, but Sam couldn’t help feeling a little betrayed when Fenrir and Hel turned on their heels, as well. He really didn’t want to be in a room alone with the other man, even if they really had things to talk about that didn’t even have to be all too personal. He wouldn’t let them get personal, anyway.

“Sam…” the archangel started in a tone that immediately made alarm bells go off in the younger Winchester’s mind and he raised an arm to stop him from speaking on.

“Look, we can talk business, we can talk tactics, but don’t act like we’re friends,” Sam stated resolutely. At least, the other man had kept his distance. It was hard enough to ignore the part of himself that simply wanted to sit down and talk things over until they were okay again as things were. Yes, there was some part of Sam that really wanted to work things out and even though it wasn’t the biggest part, it couldn’t be silenced either.

“You really have to make this harder than it has to be, don’t you?” Gabriel groaned. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand why the younger Winchester was mad at him, but he had only just killed one of his brothers and wasn’t in the mood for any discussions they didn’t actually need to have.

“Answer at least one question for me,” Sam shot back in a tone that betrayed the hurt feelings he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge were even there for the longest time, “What do you want me to call you this time?”

Gabriel really didn’t have a good answer to that question. He knew what he wished Sam would call him, but he was pretty sure that the human wouldn’t do him that favor. It wasn’t really a question the younger Winchester wanted an answer to, anyway. He had a name he could attach to the god, a name he assumed was the real one this time. The actual message had been more along the lines of ‘I don’t trust you’ and ‘You hurt me’ and the archangel knew it.

“Gabe worked pretty well for us,” he finally replied. What he was trying to get across was actually ‘I’m still the person you got to know’, but it was doubtful that Sam would be willing to listen on that ear.

“Do you think that’s funny?” the younger Winchester snapped, “You made me fall in love with a person that never existed. Congratulations on a fucking fantastic joke!”

His emotions had been all over the place ever since Loki had appeared. Not that they had been fully under his control before. It had only been a matter of time until the powder keg of bottled up feelings blew up and Sam couldn’t help thinking that at least he got to unleash them on the right person instead of some innocent bystander.

“I didn’t force any feelings on you,” Gabriel replied in a sharp tone, unwilling to take being accused of one of the little things he actually hadn’t done, “I know it would be much more convenient, if you could blame it all on me, but I’ve got to disappoint you there, that was all you!”

Everything in the younger Winchester bristled against accepting those words, even if he knew that there was truth in them. He hadn’t known who he was, but he had still been himself all the same. Sure, he might have been confused and easier to manipulate, but that didn’t change the fact that he had made his own decisions, had had his own feelings. Of course, that was the main reason why he couldn’t get closure and just move on.

“You know it’s true, Sam. I even told you to just accept that I’m a jerk, but you couldn’t let it go and had to dig until you found something. And then you liked what you saw,” the archangel added with a slight shrug, “I know I made a fuckton of mistakes, but that one’s not on me alone.”

What the younger Winchester liked the least about the entire talk they were having was how much the trickster god sounded like the person he had come to know, how easy it would be to actually accept that the man he had loved really was a part of the Trickster. Sam wasn’t even sure if that would make things better or worse.

“What’s keeping me from turning my back on you and just walking out that door right now?” the younger Winchester asked instead of getting even more into thoughts of things that just made him beyond uncomfortable. Standing in front of Loki who still looked exactly like the man a pretty big part of Sam was convinced he was head over heels in love with was bad enough without starting an in depth analysis of the relationship they had had.

“Two things,” Gabriel replied nonchalantly, but undoubtedly honestly, “You know better than to turn your back to someone you don’t trust and walking out that door would leave you stranded right in the Underworld. It is Hel’s place, after all.”

Technically the place they were at was neither a part of Earth nor a part of the Underworld, but the archangel would be happy to let his daughter explain the details to the younger Winchester. She’d probably really enjoy having a nice long and possibly somewhat nerdy chat with the human. Chances were Sam would like that much better than talking to Gabriel, too. The thought hurt, of course it did, but he had to be realistic here and the younger Winchester suddenly deciding that there were no hard feelings and they could try again wasn’t very realistic. Given the time however, Gabriel had a bit of hope that they could in fact still rekindle their relationship.

“Actually, let’s add a third one,” the archangel stated a moment later, “We’re trying to keep you safe.”

Sadly, knowing the younger Winchester, that wouldn’t be much of a reason for him to be reasonable and stay put. Really, the human was basically forcing them to keep him locked away! Still, Gabriel knew that this time he would let Sam go, if he really asked for it. Hey, letting him go didn’t mean that he couldn’t follow wherever he was going to make sure that he was still protected. The archangel wasn’t going to keep him prisoner, if he really couldn’t see the point of this, though.

“Why?” the younger Winchester asked, his posture still rigid and everything but friendly. He was willing enough to talk about the situation instead of running against walls in a futile attempt to escape, however. Granted, that might have been different, if Loki’s three children hadn’t been around and if this hadn’t been Hel’s place. But as things were he didn’t feel too tempted to upset the goddess and her furry brother as well as their grumpy sibling.

“Hel and Fenrir got very attached to you,” Gabriel started his answer with the part that was easiest to say before he went on with the part that made him feel too damn vulnerable for his liking, “And even though you admittedly have pretty good reasons to hate me, I still love you.”

The archangel’s sincere words didn’t fall on deaf ears exactly, but it was quite clear that the younger Winchester was not ready to really listen to them. In fact, he was trying hard to ignore the not all too big but very vocal part of him that was clinging to the declaration of love and just wanted to go with it. It really was getting frustrating how he could never force that part to just shut up and leave him be.

“Good for you,” Sam snorted before he sighed and went on in a bit of a softer tone, “I still don’t even know who the hell you are.”

Of course, the younger Winchester knew he was talking to Loki, the Norse god of mischief, but he still didn’t know any of the things that would let him grasp if and how much he could believe anything the other man said. He had thought he knew Gabe, he really had trusted him with his life, but there was no way for him to tell how much of that person there was in Loki.

“You know me much better than you think,” Gabriel replied with a small smile before he rolled his shoulders back and after a short moment of concentration unleashed his wings. He had seriously underestimated how uncomfortable it would be to stretch them after all this time, but the burn of muscles unused for centuries moving again was well worth seeing the expression on Sam’s face as he realized what he had just seen.

“You… you’re…” the younger Winchester stammered. He had only seen shadows, but Dean had told him before that apparently that was what angel wings were like. A part of him – it really seemed like he was always split at least in two in just about every matter these days – suspected that the Trickster might have come out to play and that he’d be laughed at for falling for it in under a minute, but the greater part of him couldn’t deny that he had felt the shift of power in the room the moment the wings had appeared.

“Told you, you could call me Gabriel,” the archangel said after he had put his wings away again. That there was no way that he would be in hiding from his celestial brothers much longer didn’t mean that he felt comfortable running around advertising what he was to everyone. He still had to work out some details of the general plan he had for the things that were supposed to happen from this point on.

Sam blinked a couple of times before he left the room without another word spoken. Between Uriel trying to get him to fulfill his one purpose in the world by forcing demon blood down his throat – not that that made any sort of sense to him yet – and Fenrir suddenly being a talking wolf with a sense of humor, the revelation of the Trickster’s… Loki’s… Gabriel’s real identity was what broke the camel’s back.

“Sam?” Hel asked in a cautious tone, putting her hand on the human’s shoulder. She, just like her brothers, had felt the moment their father had revealed his biggest secret all too clearly and it wasn’t a big surprise that it was a little overwhelming to the human. “Come on, there’s a room for you.”

Sam’s first impulse was to shake her hand off and tell her to leave him the fuck alone, but he deflated very quickly when he saw the hurt flash across the goddess’ face before he had even said anything. It wasn’t Hel he was mad at. Actually, he wasn’t even mad at Gabriel. There were just too many things to take in at once and a life of hunting had taught him that when in doubt offense was the best defense.

However, as unlikely as it might seem, he was among friends and jumping at their throats for things that weren’t their fault really was uncalled for. So, Sam nodded and ducked his head, letting Hel show him the room.

 

* * *

 

 

“If those bastards think that they can keep me away from Sam _again_ , they are wrong!” Dean was basically fuming and had been ever since the phone call with his younger brother. At first he had mostly made threats against everything and everyone while Castiel had watched and listened patiently without showing much of a reaction. The older Winchester was switching to making plans about how they would get Sam back slowly but surely now, however.

“Your brother said that he was among friends, even if currently they will not allow him to leave,” Castiel pointed out reasonably, which earned him a nasty glare he didn’t think he deserved. The angel found that he was getting used to his human charge’s tempers, though. He understood that Dean gave rather strong and thoughtless reactions very frequently when something really worried or annoyed him and then felt bad for them afterward.

“Let’s agree to disagree on that,” the older Winchester stated with strained nonchalance, “And now that that’s settled, let’s find a way to kick a few pagan asses.”

The angel tilted his head to the side giving Dean one of the looks that let the human know without a doubt that he was thinking too hard about something he had just said or done and couldn’t make sense of it. There were a lot of things Castiel had yet to learn about humans in general and the older Winchester specifically.

“I think your logic is flawed, Dean,” the angel replied seriously, “How is it agreeing on the fact that we do not agree, if you use the agreement to make me do something I just disagreed with? Also, I suspect that your brother would not be happy if we brought any sort of harm to his friends.”

The older Winchester couldn’t help staring at Castiel for a few moments after the angel had stopped speaking. Of course, he was right in most of the things he had just said, but that didn’t make hearing it any less surprising. Apparently, Cas just took some time to warm up to people enough to just tell them what was on his mind.

“Figure of speech,” Dean stated, waving his former statement away like he didn’t still have the plan to at least throw a few punches, “Alright, Cas, is there a chance that we can agree on at least looking for Sam?”

In the case of a negative answer the older Winchester would just have to look by himself, but he felt like at least offering to the angel that they could work together.

“We can agree on getting to the bottom of Uriel’s betrayal,” Castiel replied in a serious tone that somehow was still more serious than his usual tone was anyway, “And I believe that there will be leads concerning your brother’s whereabouts to be found on the way.”

The angel’s logic couldn’t really be argued with and the older Winchester acknowledged that it would be good for both of them to combine the search for Sam with finding out what the fuck was going on. If Uriel had turned on them there was no way to tell who else might be playing for the wrong team, too. As if the human really had needed another reason to despise his position as heaven’s bitch boy.

“Talk about agreements that make people do things… Alright, yeah, we can agree on that,” Dean groaned, “But I’m not doing this for heaven, I’m doing it for you.”

Castiel’s face lit up enough – for his standards, anyway – that the older Winchester considered pointing out that he hadn’t meant it as a declaration of love or anything. What he had meant to say was that he wouldn’t lift a finger for a bunch of quite possibly traitorous jerks, but he was going to help a friend to find closure over his brother’s betrayal.

“I appreciate it,” Castiel said so sincerely that Dean immediately dropped the plan to add something in the line of explanation that would probably just lessen his former statement.


	26. Chapter 26

**26**

 

The room Hel had led Sam to was nice, but furnished completely impersonally like most guestrooms that were meant to house different people every now and then were. The younger Winchester realized that it wouldn’t have taken any of the people he was currently staying with long to completely change the interior and make sure that everything was after his liking, so it wouldn’t have had to mean that Hel or one of the others had been planning this for some time. He still was grateful to be housed in a way that didn’t remind him of the cabin the T… Gabriel had kept him in too much.

However, Hel obviously had thought that he could use a change of clothes, if the clean shirts and pants were an indication. Obviously, she was pretty sure that he would stay over night as well, since there was a pair of sweatpants, too.

Sam shook his head with a sigh before he shrugged his own flannel shirt off and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Getting out of the clothes he had worn might help with getting rid of the nasty feeling that still clung to him after everything that had happened that day.

Without thinking about it, the younger Winchester picked his discarded shirt up again and examined it until his eyes found a dark stain on the red fabric that was definitely blood. Knowing that it clearly was demon’s blood might have caused all sorts of feelings, but of course the one it did was the one that made Sam feel nauseous all over again. He quickly threw the offending material across the room, as far away from him as possible and started to pace up and down before he made the conscious decision to do so.

Wasn’t it bad enough that the yellow eyed demon had forced blood down his throat before he had been old enough to walk? Why did they have to repeat it all over again? And why did he have to feel this little pull toward the stuff, even though he felt sick only thinking of it?

Sam felt very close to yelling in frustration, but he knew that someone would come to check on him the very moment that he did, so he opted for punching the wall instead. The pain wasn’t unexpected but still sharp enough to push everything else from the foreground of his mind for a little while. Of course, the younger Winchester’s thoughts returned to Gabriel just a few moments later, though. Alright, thinking about the angel was slightly more comfortable than considering the implications of the old and new demon blood running through his veins; it still was confusing and frustrating, however.

There simply were too many things he didn’t want to think about and too little things to distract him from all of them.

It wasn’t entirely impossible that the perfect timing with which the knock on the door came was everything but a coincidence. Sam was going to take what he could get, anyway. As long as it wasn’t about having to face Gabriel again, that was.

“Thought I was going to check how you were doing,” Hel explained with a light shrug as soon as the younger Winchester had opened the door for her. She wouldn’t have had to wait for him to allow her to enter, but it was another one of those gestures she knew the human appreciated.

“Things haven’t changed dramatically in the last,” Sam took a short break to check the time on his watch, “Forty minutes.”

Things he knew of hadn’t changed, anyway. Chances were that Dean was either slowly going insane or cooking up some sort of plan, but that was purely speculative. The younger Winchester took some comfort in knowing that Castiel was most likely keeping his brother company. The angel had kept him from going off the rails before, after all.

“Okay, you looked through my thinly veiled excuse,” Hel admitted easily, taking a seat on the queensized bed and patting the spot next to her until the younger Winchester gave in and sat down as well, “I just wanted to talk to you.”

Sam couldn’t help pulling a face for a moment. It wasn’t that he particularly disliked the thought of having a conversation with the goddess, it was more that he already knew that he didn’t want to speak about the topic she would bring up.

“There are things I want to tell you,” Hel insisted, looking straight into the human’s eyes before she went on talking, “If you think you don’t need to hear them that’s fine, but I need to say them. Believe it or not, I don’t have many living friends besides my brothers.”

The younger Winchester had already opened his mouth to reply before he settled for a simple nod. Having a brother – or brothers – who was also your best friend sure was great, but sometimes it was more desirable to talk to someone outside of the family. Besides, he was sure that Hel wanted him to hear whatever things she was going to tell him for a reason other than simply getting them off her chest.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about our mother. There isn’t that much about her in the books, mostly side comments and footnotes really,” the goddess began, her shoulders dropping a little. They didn’t talk about their mother often and if they did then only about a handful of memories they had of her, not about the entire story. She still wanted Sam to hear it, however. It should help him understand a couple of things not only about Loki but about all of them.

“Her name was Angrboða and she was a giantess,” the younger Winchester offered what little knowledge he could come up with on the spot. The way the goddess had spoken of her mother also made him think that the use of past tense would sadly be appropriate.

“Yeah. We Norse call them giants, anyway. You’d probably use another word,” Hel replied, looking at the human like she expected him to make sense of what she had just said by himself.

It took a few moments before it clicked and a theory formed in Sam’s mind. Chances were he’d embarrass himself by making a completely wrong assumption, but at the same time his first though just made too much sense to disregard it. “Nephilim.”

The goddess looked pleased as she nodded. Not that the piece of information she had just shared with the human was common knowledge even among the gods. Some had their suspicions, but Nephilim didn’t have that much in common with their angelic parent and there were a lot of beings that were similar. Not to mention that most pantheons had clung to the belief that they could completely separate themselves from the others for a long time. Gods could turn a blind eye on a hell of a lot of things, if it helped them feel secure in their power.

“It probably wasn’t the lovestory of the millennium, but I think you can imagine why mother and father felt drawn to each other,” Hel smiled slightly.

Sam nodded quietly. He could imagine, indeed. Actually, given the history the angels had with their half-human offspring his thoughts would have probably gone into a more bloody direction, if he hadn’t already known that Gabriel and Angrboða had produced three children together. So, based on the evidence the younger Winchester came to the conclusion that the two had focused on the part of themselves they had in common instead of the one that would have separated them.

“Fenrir says that they were good together, you know? He says they used to make each other happy and that mother often scolded father for things he had done, pranks he had played on her or others, but that she’d always forgive him easily enough,” Hel went on more quietly before she sighed and added, “I’ve got to take his word for it, I don’t really remember her.”

“What happened?” Sam asked, although he was pretty sure he knew in which direction the answer would be going already. It sometimes seemed like happy endings were something books and movies invented and that didn’t exist in the real world.

“You have to understand that Loki hadn’t been around that long, but he had already made a reputation for himself and then there were the prophecies about us,” the goddess answered, studying her hands like she had never seen them before for a few moments before she looked back at the younger Winchester again, “She was killed while father took us to see the northern lights.”

Sam noticed how Hel had included herself with the prophecies, even though to his knowledge her two brothers were the ones who were really affected by those. Fenrir was meant to kill Odin during the events of Ragnarök and Jörmungandr was said to end the world as well. It was somewhat understandable that the other gods had gotten worried about Loki’s children, but knowing all three of them there was no question whatsoever whom Sam’s sympathies were with.

“I’m so sorry,” the younger Winchester stated seriously, extending his arm to squeeze Hel’s shoulders for a moment before he let go and put some distance between them again.

“We never found out who did it,” the goddess added after a few moments of silence. Of course, they all had their suspicions and it was more than likely that most gods had been involved in one way or the other, but none of them knew who the one who had held the blade that killed her had been.

“Gabriel didn’t…?” Sam frowned. He found it hard to believe that the Trickster, who was all about just deserts, hadn’t made sure that there was revenge for the death of the mother of his children.

“He let it go,” Hel shrugged, “He had to, really. The other gods always were wary of him, if he had gone and proven them right in being suspicious and fearing that he could turn against them just as quickly as he had decided to join them, they’d have killed us all. I now know that he could have gone all wrathful archangel on their asses, but that would have attracted the other angel’s attention and you know how they feel about Nephilim.”

It had made sense when they had thought that Loki was just one of the gods, who’d go down in a fight against a group of the others and it still made sense now that they knew that Gabriel could have dealt with the gods, but wouldn’t have been able to take on his angelic brothers.

“Is that why Jörmungandr is that… resentful?” Sam asked. The other man didn’t exactly make a secret out of his dislike for his father and it was starting to make sense. The younger Winchester tried to imagine how he would have felt, if John Winchester had decided to let it go and live with the fact that they’d never know what had happened to Mary. He had been too young to even remember his mother, so chances were he would have been okay with John moving on. Dean might have felt differently about that, but maybe he would have been young enough to move on without getting answers, too. They’d never know, either way.

“Fenrir says that father was suffering like a dog, no pun intended,” Hel replied, adding a half-hearted try to bring some humor into the situation just as a matter of principle, “He says that he was beating himself up over it pretty badly. Jörm was too young to see these things through his anger about mother being taken from us and nobody doing anything about it.”

By the time Jörmungandr had been old enough to know and understand the story in it’s entirety he had had made up his mind about their father already. He had never been able to shake the bitterness off, but the goddess had been too young and had no memories of her own of half of the things Jörmungandr was so mad about, so she had found it not exactly easy but possible to find a good deal of understanding for their father’s situation later in life.

“And father made a point never to side with any of us too much afterward,” Hel added as matter-of-factly as she could. She wasn’t able to keep the old and pretty much forgiven, but unfortunately never forgotten hurt out of her voice completely, however. “We were kids, Sam, and he’d just stand by and watch the other gods effectively bullying us. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t hate him for that for quite some time. But one day I started to listen to the things Fenrir kept trying to tell us and they just made sense.”

The goddess’ voice had softened noticeably toward the end which was a pretty good indication that she really had gotten over these things with time. Sam thought he understood at least the gist of what she had been trying to tell him, too. She hadn’t gone out of her way to make Gabriel look good, but she had made sure to try and make his actions comprehensible. What she had succeeded with as well was making the human reconsider a few things he knew or had thought he knew about the archangel.

“Fenrir is quite the character, isn’t he?” Sam asked, shaking the other thoughts that were threatening to overpower him off for the moment being. He’d have time to sort those out later, hopefully.

“And I haven’t even told you about the time when he went vegetarian, yet,” Hel stated with a grin and a shrug. She wasn’t lying either, even if the younger Winchester looked like he didn’t believe her.

The wolf knew that he was pretty much giving away that he had been sitting just outside of the door, listening to their conversation, but he couldn’t keep himself from entering the room any longer at that point.

“Not only are you two having a slumber party without me, you’re also talking about me!” Fenrir huffed, kicking the door shut behind him, “I demand compensation!”

Apparently, compensation was just another word for ‘cuddles’ and ‘belly rubs’ in the wolf’s vocabulary, since he jumped on the bed and lay across his sister’s legs, his head in Sam’s lap. The younger Winchester was rather surprised by his own ability to just shrug and pet Fenrir’s head like he obviously wanted without thinking that it was all too strange. As far as strange things went, petting a wolf who was also an archangel’s son was surprisingly nice all things considered.

“Hel, you were the one to warn me that he wasn’t reliable,” Sam said after a few long moments of silence. He appreciated that she had told him about their family history and it did help with understanding the bigger picture, but he also knew that there was another motive behind the heart to heart they had just had.

“I was wrong,” Hel admitted easily, pulling on a handful of her brother’s fur when he chuckled silently, “In my defense, I had never seen him get this protective over someone before, get this… invested.”

“I have,” Fenrir stated somberly.

They all were silent for quite some time after that.

 

* * *

 

 

Night had fallen some time before Dean and Castiel had even entered the cabin in which Uriel’s body lay along with two more bodies. The older Winchester wasn’t completely sure how his angelic companion had been able to determine that those two had been possessed by demons with just one quick glance at the time of their death, but he was willing to take the angel’s word for it.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean stated a little awkwardly after watching the other man examine his dead brother’s body for an uncomfortably long time in silence, “You okay?”

He couldn’t honestly say that he was sorry for Castiel’s loss when the loss was of a traitorous douchebag without any value for human life and who, to top it all off, had also kidnapped Sam. He could however show some concern for a friend’s wellbeing.

“Find anything good?” Dean added when the angel didn’t answer, “Man, I know there were three of those pagans, but they really did a number on the place.”

It wasn’t unreasonable to assume that the cabin had been rundown in the first place, but it looked like a bomb had hit it only very recently and while Uriel was very dead, he was still in one piece while the two demons were all over the place, quite literally.

“Something is not right here,” Castiel finally said, standing ramrod straight again, his eyes still fixed on his brother’s body for a few more moments before he turned to face Dean.

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific. I see a lot of things here that aren’t quite right,” the older Winchester retorted, biting his tongue before he could mention that it was also wrong that Sam was not here but in the ‘tender loving care’ of beings they usually hunted. He realized that he was starting to sound like a little bitch, complaining about things all the time, however.

“Sam said that Loki was fighting Uriel,” Castiel explained, frowning, “I have known Uriel for a long time and we have fought alongside each other in a great number of battles. A trickster should have never been powerful enough to walk away from a direct confrontation with him, let alone overpower him.”

Not to mention that the wound in Uriel’s chest suggested that he had been stabbed with an angel blade. It was possible that he had been killed with his own blade however, which still left them with the fact that Loki should not have been powerful enough to accomplish this.

“The little bastard is quite devious and let’s not forget that he banished you,” Dean commented with a shrug. Based on their previous experiences with him there wasn’t that much he didn’t think that trickster bastard could do.

“Which again is something he should not have been able to do,” Castiel countered. He had been preoccupied with other things and hadn’t reflected on his previous near encounter with the trickster properly before, but he was quite certain that the means used to banish him hadn’t been of the kind that any demon, monster or pagan god should be able to use.

“Are you saying I can’t learn how to do that then?” Dean commented, his mouth once more a little too fast as the short glare he got for his stupid joke confirmed, “Sorry. Anyway, how about we just summon the jerk and ask him how he did it?”

“Dean, I just told you that this being is much more powerful and dangerous than it has any right to be,” Castiel stated sounding surprisingly indignant for someone who hardly ever let any emotions on, “And your first idea is to summon it.”

“What? You’re telling me to trust the guy with my baby brother - Sam will be completely fine and all that crap - but now you’re saying that he’ll blow us to smithereens, if we just send him an invitation?” Dean raised an eyebrow, giving the angel a challenging look.

The older Winchester had known that he had no chance to win in a staring competition with Castiel, but that didn’t mean that he was about to give up on his idea. At least not until he heard the angel come up with a better plan. “Like it or not, feathers, but that’s how I roll.”


	27. Chapter 27

**27**

 

Sam couldn’t say that he was all too surprised to find that none of Loki’s three children were up and in the kitchen, yet. It had been obvious that someone was in there preparing breakfast, but once the younger Winchester had heard Gabriel whistle a happy tune to himself he had suspected that Hel and Fenrir might take the chance to let him and their father have a little one on one talking time. It also hadn’t seemed all too likely that Jörmungandr would choose to be alone in a room with the trickster god, which Sam more or less understood after everything he had heard the other night.

“Seriously? You’re whistling Disney songs now?” the younger Winchester stated. There might have been better ways to start an early morning conversation, but nothing about the situation they were in was normal, so it seemed fitting nevertheless.

“And you had no problems recognizing it,” Gabriel grinned, pushing a cup of coffee into Sam’s hands and gesturing for him to take a seat by the table already before he went on whistling.

“You try living with Dean and not seeing all sorts of crap,” Sam commented with a shrug. The conversation they were having felt new and familiar to him at the same time, which was just one - and one of the more harmless - conflicting feelings being around the archangel gave the younger Winchester.

“I find it hard to believe that your brother saw more than a second of Mulan,” Gabriel replied casually, flipping pancakes. If he already had three of his children and his… Sam in the same place he might as well treat them to a great breakfast. Maybe they’d even feel thankful enough to do the dishes afterward, otherwise it would be the archangel who would have to snap his fingers.

“Okay, I had the cold of the century, was on a lot of medication and only had the TV for company,” the younger Winchester admitted. Besides, he had still been a teenager at the time and there had been cases that John Winchester had deemed too dangerous for his younger son, even if he hadn’t had any problem taking Dean along. Of course, Sam’s immune system had chosen one of the times when he had been by himself for days to take a vacation for long enough to let said cold in. Between the fever and the medication he didn’t remember all too much of that time, but it had to be said that there were movies that stuck with you much longer if watched on the right kind of cold medicine.

To his credit, Gabriel swallowed the laughter that really wanted to break free and only allowed the corners of his mouth to twitch.

“I like the end of the story,” the archangel eventually admitted, before he turned to look back at the younger Winchester, “Dirty little liar gets forgiven and love prevails.”

It wasn’t entirely impossible that the movie also was about women being just as capable as men, but as things were Gabriel preferred his own interpretation. Who said that one film couldn’t have two themes, anyway?

“You just have to push all the time, don’t you?” Sam groaned, rubbing his forehead for a moment in exasperation. He had gotten the message loud and clear the other day. Gabriel loved him – it would be a lie to say that that didn’t do all sorts of funny things to his insides, too – but that only let the younger Winchester know what the archangel wanted from him, not what the right thing to do in the situation would be. That he’d have to figure out on his own, even if it seemed that the more he learned about Loki the harder it got to be sure what he himself even wanted.

“Sam…” Gabriel started, trying to say that the human could just ignore what he had just said and they could just talk about the weather or something else entirely. The conversation hadn’t been going that bad before and the archangel realized that he had to make Sam like him all over again. To be honest, it was the first time that he had to make the human like him, since the last time it had just happened. Gabriel did believe in miracles – hard not to believe, when he had been the cause of his fair share of them – but he couldn’t wait for one to happen in this matter.

“No, it’s okay. There’s something I wanted to tell you, anyway,” Sam interrupted the archangel, sighing before he went on talking, “I… uh… I don’t hate you. I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried, but there’s some stupid part of me that loves you back.”

Hel had made sure to tell her father that the younger Winchester had asked her to erase his memories of the time they had spent together so he wouldn’t have to deal with the emotions they caused, so Gabriel was all too willing to believe that Sam had really tried to hate him. Hearing that he acknowledged that at least a part of him still loved the archangel made Gabriel feel a little more hopeful than he had been before. They could work with that, make it the base of something new and improved between them. Not that it sounded like Sam was completely open to that possibility yet.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” the archangel stated turning the stove off so he could give the younger Winchester his full attention. That was by far more important than breakfast.

“From my perspective? Yeah, it is,” Sam replied honestly, “You had a starring role in most of my nightmares before Lilith took over.”

He wasn’t sure where he wanted this entire thing between him and Gabriel to go, but being honest seemed like a good idea in any case. Most of the lies that had gotten them into this damn situation hadn’t come from Sam, but that didn’t mean that he thought he should add to the pile.

“I’m sorry,” the archangel apologized, noticing how the younger Winchester shook his head slightly and looked away immediately, “Hey, if we’re having this conversation, you’ll have to listen to my side, too.”

Sam looked nearly surprised for a moment before he nodded tightly. It was true and a reasonable request, after all. He hadn’t even meant to immediately disregard the apology he had gotten, but it had been a completely honest reaction from his side, anyway.

The archangel pulled a chair toward him and plopped down on it just in reaching distance of but not too close to the human before he carefully considered his next words.

“It’s true, I wasn’t sorry then, but I am sorry now. I really don’t have an excuse for what I did and especially not for how things went out of hand,” Gabriel started, making sure that Sam was in fact listening with as much of an open mind as he could, “I can only say that I didn’t know you then. I guess you’ll find it hard to believe, but if I had, I’d have done things differently.”

The archangel didn’t need to use any of his powers to know that he had just lost the younger Winchester, so he took a break, waiting for whatever it was the other man had to get off his chest before he could lend him an ear again.

“Good to know you’d have troubles torturing me these days,” Sam snarked.

Gabriel guessed he had sort of deserved that comment, but in his defense it had to be said that it wasn’t easy to apologize for killing the brother of your love interest a hundred times and then some for good measure, especially not when he – as he had just admitted – hadn’t felt sorry in the least for it at the time. The thought that another angel would find it much easier to do the sort of groveling before the human he’d probably have to do here crossed his mind for a moment, but if that was the price he’d have to pay it was quite okay all the same.

“As I saw it, you were stubborn and moronic, so I decided to break that stubbornness,” Gabriel explained, giving a slight shrug, “You said it yourself, I always have to push and when you just kept holding on beyond all reason, when there wasn’t even one freaking day when you’d just go all ‘fuck it, he’s going to die anyway, I’m taking piano lessons today’, I kept pushing.”

In fact, the original plan had included ending the time-loop the moment exactly that happened. If Sam had shown some sort of acceptance of the fact that his brother was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to change that, he would have let them both go. He probably might have let them stake him again for the sake of closure and they’d have all gone their merry ways with Gabriel knowing that the younger Winchester was at least capable of acceptance.

“And while we’re at speaking about things I don’t like to say and you probably hate to hear,” the archangel added, because he knew he wouldn’t want to revisit this topic later on, if it could be avoided, “I went away from the entire incident feeling mad at you for wasting my time.”

“Why waste even more time on me then?” Sam asked, frowning. Nothing Gabriel had said this far made him want to forgive and forget, but he had to admit that hearing the other side was somewhat interesting, as hurtful as it was.

“Honestly? It was about punishment at first, but then…” the archangel’s voice trailed off right at the moment when the younger Winchester’s interest peaked. Sam actually leaned forward a little, wanting to encourage the other man to keep talking, which worked well enough.

“I finally understood where all this had gone wrong,” Gabriel admitted, leaning forward a little too, so they could speak on more quietly, “You didn’t remember a thing about your brother, but you still couldn’t let him go. I saw you trying and I saw how you were still suffering, because no matter what a part of you always kept holding on. You weren’t only being stubborn, you literally couldn’t let go.”

Sam had had accepted the fact that his brother was dead, had had to accept it, because he didn’t know that there was anything he could have even tried to change it, still Dean had been a ghost at the back of his mind who had always popped up again and again. Knowing all that, Gabriel had a much better understanding for why the younger Winchester had been completely unable to let go while he had known that a) his brother had in fact gone to hell and b) there was a whole world of beings and spells that might somehow help with preventing Dean from dying or getting him back. In a way, the archangel could even identify with that as things were. There was something he very much felt he simply couldn’t let go too, after all.

“You make me sound like a nutjob,” Sam commented with the tiniest smile, looking down at his folded hands.

“That’s okay,” Gabriel replied, putting a hand on the younger Winchester’s, contently noticing that Sam didn’t pull away, “I’m pretty much crazy too. I don’t only understand you now, I feel it myself.”

Their eyes met for a few long moments as the younger Winchester tried to find any signs for deception. A part of him was nearly disappointed not to find anything that would allow him to push the other man away, but the part of him that seemed to grow slowly but steadily was basically purring contently.

“I don’t trust you,” Sam stated, as if to remind himself.

Gabriel smiled one of his rarer smiles that didn’t hold any trace of spitefulness or trickery when he gave his answer. “We can work on that.”

“I won’t make this easy for you,” the younger Winchester whispered, noticing with a start just how close to each other they were at that moment. He felt like pulling away for the split of a second, but then decided against it.

“I’m very much counting on that,” the archangel replied, moving his hand to Sam’s neck, gently stroking it until the initial tenseness had mostly disappeared again. There would have to be baby steps all over again, but the fact that he didn’t doubt if it was worth it for a moment, let Gabriel know that he was doing the right thing.

“Oh come on!” the archangel suddenly groaned, standing up from his chair, a move Sam mirrored immediately, “Your brother is an idiot of the pagan god summoning kind. We’ll have to pick this up again later.”

Sure, Gabriel was beyond being summoned at just anybody’s whim, especially if they were using his alias instead of his real name, but knowing the older Winchester he would do increasingly stupid things until he got the reaction he wanted. Letting any harm come to Dean, even if it was only through not doing anything, wouldn’t win him any points with Sam for sure.

It wasn’t long after Gabriel had left that Sam found that he wasn’t alone in the kitchen anymore. It was a little surprising that Jörmungandr was the one who had decided to join him, though. To be honest, the younger Winchester had assumed that the other two would be all over him the second they felt they weren’t interrupting anything anymore.

The two men stood facing each other without saying a word for long enough to make Sam feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious.

“You mess with my family, you’re going to regret it,” Jörmungandr finally stated in a tone that wasn’t exactly threatening but left no doubt that it would count as a threat the very moment the younger Winchester crossed the line the other man had just defined.

Sam simply nodded. He didn’t think that anything he could have said would have been a better reply and Jörmungandr seemed satisfied with it, anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Even with some reluctant assistance from Castiel it had taken a long time to get everything they needed to summon Loki together. Apparently, the guy was pretty picky about the things that had to be used to send an invitation to him.

“Alright, if we’re lucky we’ll have a nice chat with the asshat soon,” Dean commented, dropping the lit match into the bowl, squinting when thick smoke filled his field of vision for a few moments.

“I would say we are lucky, if he decides not to appear,” Castiel replied seriously, gripping his angel blade tightly. It didn’t do much in the way of reassuring him, since he knew all too well that Uriel had had his blade at hand too and it hadn’t helped him any. At the same time, the angel couldn’t deny that he wanted to get to the bottom of all of this and Dean’s idea about talking to Loki was rather reckless, but it might work. Castiel was willing to follow the human’s lead, anyway.

“Cas, nobody’s forcing you to be here,” the older Winchester pointed out. Granted, he would have taken even longer to get everything he needed for the summoning together, if Cas hadn’t been able to just zap over to Bobby to collect a few things and then zap himself wherever to get the rest, but now that that was done, the angel was welcome to leave, if he had the desire to do so.

“As a good man once said, I am not doing this for myself,” Castiel stated, fixing Dean’s green eyes with his own blue ones, “I am doing it for you.”

The angel might have paraphrased a little to make the statement work, but the older Winchester seemed to appreciate it, in any case.

“That’s rich, Dean-o. Cockblocking me, even though you’re clearly too busy to talk to me right now,” Gabriel huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The way Castiel was clearly nervous – smart little seraph – but still ready to attack, if the need to protect the older Winchester arose was heartwarming, really. It also made the archangel hope that his little brother might take the revelations he had coming his way better than expected. He apparently had distanced himself from heaven the littlest bit already, after all.

“If you’re even thinking about touching my brother…!” Dean started a threat. He hadn’t even decided what exactly he would do to Loki, if he ever found out that the god had done anything even remotely cockblock worthy to Sam, before the short jerk waggled his eyebrows suggestively. The only thing keeping the older Winchester from doing something very rash was Castiel’s hand holding his shoulder in a viselike grip.

“See me shiver in fear,” Gabriel replied casually, nodding into the other angel’s direction before he added, “And you should lower that toothpick. Someone might lose an eye!”

The archangel didn’t even have to let his wings loose to let his little brother know who he was. Usually he kept his angelic side firmly hidden behind the pagan identity and powers he had acquired, giving up on that was more than enough for Castiel to immediately know who he had in front of him.

“Castiel, put your blade away,” Gabriel repeated, letting the angelic authority he usually kept bottled up tightly bleed through enough so even Dean noticed, “Don’t make me spank you, fledgling.”

The older Winchester felt that something had changed very clearly, but he hadn’t expected that Castiel would follow the command and even less that he would look at the freaking Trickster with something all too close to awe all of a sudden.

“What the hell, Cas?” Dean snapped, drawing his own gun now that his angelic friend had obviously given up on protecting them. Not that bullets would do anything, but the mere act of threatening the jerk made the older Winchester feel a bit better about the situation.

“Little bro knows how to treat his elders,” Gabriel smirked, ruffling Castiel’s hair now the angel blade was gone and there was no reason whatsoever to keep his distance any longer. Sure, one of the run-of-the-mill weapons they handed to the seraphs and lower ranks couldn’t kill him, but being stabbed with one would hurt like a bitch and if there was a chance to avoid it, the archangel would take it.

“Somebody tell me what the fuck is going on!” Dean demanded, glaring at both of the other men like he couldn’t decide which one of them owed him an explanation more.

“Know what? Your brother will want to hear this too and I really hate repeating myself,” Gabriel replied, raising his hand to snap his fingers.


	28. Chapter 28

**28**

 

“Don’t worry, father knows that he’ll never get back into your pants, if he misbehaves,” Hel pointed out with a smirk.

Sam really wasn’t good at hiding when he was worried and since the first thing the younger Winchester had said to her after good morning had been that her father had been summoned by Dean, it wasn’t hard to guess what exactly he was concerned about.

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Jörmungandr groaned, pushing the plate with his half-eaten pancakes away in disgust. It had to be noted that he continued eating just a few seconds later, however.

“That you haven’t been laid since before the telephone was invented doesn’t mean that nobody has,” Hel shot back, obviously enjoying making both her brother and the younger Winchester squirm a little. Alright, as far as topics over breakfast were concerned this might be somewhat inappropriate, but considering how their conversations usually went it still was pretty tame.

“You were sort of in the middle of something there,” Fenrir reminded Sam, nudging the human’s arm with his muzzle. One of the downsides of being a wolf was that he didn’t have thumbs and even if he had had those, he would have still had a pretty hard time holding any tools. Unfortunately, that meant that he had to wait when whoever he had chosen to be his servant at the time got distracted.

The younger Winchester snapped out of his stupor nearly immediately and continued to peel the orange Fenrir has asked him for. As the wolf had explained he could eat the skin without any ill effects whatsoever, but it wasn’t all that appetizing. Sam suspected that Fenrir just liked to make people do things for him, however.

“You know, he could do this on his own,” Jörmungandr pointed out casually, “Doggie has a fully functional human form.”

The wolf huffed out a breath at that. Of course, it was true that he was perfectly capable of turning into a human whenever he wanted to, but he didn’t exactly want to and especially not just to peel fruit. He’d rather eat it with the peel on then, thank you very much!

“Snakey should mind his own business,” Fenrir retorted, nudging Sam’s arm encouragingly again. It looked like the human got distracted a little too easily by the bantering siblings. At this rate, he’d never get his breakfast before lunchtime!

“Besides, you know how much he hates wearing clothes,” Hel added with a grin just as silence had fallen over the room once more.

The goddess could count the times she had seen her oldest brother in his preferred human form in the past century on one hand and she had had to basically force him into any sort of clothing every single time. It had been a matter of principle more than anything else, but knowing human morals and Sam’s personality an unclothed Fenrir wouldn’t be very welcome at the moment.

“Look, I don’t mind, anyway,” the younger Winchester stated with a slight shrug, peeling the last bit of skin off the orange and dividing it into pieces before he handed them over to the wolf. Fenrir gave the human’s hand an approving lick before he started to eat.

“You’re just saying that because he’s not the one of this family you’d like to see naked,” Jörmungandr said so casually that it actually took a moment before the other three stared at him, “Oh come on! She started it!”

The younger Winchester tried to concentrate on his own neglected pancakes instead of thinking about what the other man had just said, but it wasn’t quite that easy. At least, it didn’t look as if any of them could read his thoughts, because he was pretty sure at least one of them would be sort of scandalized by the pictures that had popped into his head.

“I brought up the picture of Sam pantless, which should be nicer for most of us to imagine than naked dad!” Hel insisted. Hey, that the human was taken – by her father nevertheless – didn’t mean that he suddenly wasn’t good-looking anymore. It meant she wouldn’t touch him in any inappropriate way with a ten foot pole, however.

“Speak for yourself, sister,” Jörmungandr snorted. To be honest, he wasn’t quite sure what Fenrir’s taste in partners was these days, but he knew for a fact that he himself had no interest in seeing the human in any state of undress.

Hel looked at her brother amusedly for a moment before she broke into full blown laughter. She knew what Jörmungandr had meant to say, but the way it had come out it might as well mean that he’d rather see their father naked. From the sour look on his face, her brother understood perfectly well what she was laughing about, too.

“Geez, leave the human alone! As embarrassed as you two are getting him, he’ll never peel that banana for me now!” Fenrir managed between chuckles, utterly failing to give even the slightest impression that he was serious about what he had just said.

There were conversations Sam would have enjoyed being a part of more, but he couldn’t deny that the way the three interacted was amusing and it probably counted as a good sign that Jörmungandr had joined the bantering, even though the younger Winchester was present and involved in the talk.

Sam had been about to say something when suddenly Fenrir jumped to his paws and leapt toward something behind the younger Winchester’s back. The human turned around quickly enough to nearly give him whiplash, but he still heard the surprised noises of definitely more than one person before he saw that the wolf had just thrown himself at Castiel, pinning the angel’s arms to the floor with his legs and licking his face.

To be fair, Sam was pretty sure that Gabriel’s all too obvious amusement and Castiel’s evident confusion – even though he was taking the licking more stoically than anyone could have expected of him – wouldn’t have been the reactions of his choice either, but Dean looked far too close to killing someone for his liking.

“Hi uncle Castiel,” Fenrir finally greeted the angel, sitting on his chest like it was the most normal position to be in. Their father really had to be completely sure that Castiel wasn’t going to pose a threat to their safety to bring him to this place, so messing with the angel a bit counted as innocent, harmless fun. The wolf put complete trust into Loki’s judgment, anyway.

“What the fuck is going on?” Dean yelled, startling everyone else with his outburst. The older Winchester felt completely justified in losing his temper, however. Nobody had explained anything to him. The last thing he had known was that his brother was being held captive by Loki and his posse and that they were going to summon the pagan god. Then the jerk had shown up and things had stopped making sense from there.

“Dean,” Sam stated in a calming tone, standing next to his brother just as Fenrir decided to allow Castiel to get back on his feet. The younger Winchester had had some time to come to terms with the fact that things around this family could get unpredictable and somewhat crazy very quickly, a luxury his older brother hadn’t had yet, so it was understandable that Dean’s nerves were running thin.

“No! Someone explain this shit to me right now, or I swear to god…” the older Winchester demanded before his brother could say anything more. He didn’t want to calm down, he wanted answers and he wanted them immediately!

“I’m really an angel, those are my kids, so technically Cassy is their uncle. Happy now?” Gabriel replied casually, willing a cherry red lollipop into existence for himself and on second thought produced another one to offer to Sam who shot him an exasperated look, but took the candy anyway. Granted, he only put it into his pocket, but the point that he wasn’t completely against sucking on something Gabriel had offered still stood. The archangel only realized that he had apparently let on that he had been thinking about something not even remotely connected to the matter on hand when the younger Winchester rolled his eyes at him. Luckily, it looked like Dean was too close to either having a stroke or murdering things to pay too much attention to Gabriel’s or his brother’s facial expressions.

“Those are my kids,” Jörmungandr repeated what his father had just said in a mocking tone before he went on snarking, “What a heartfelt introduction.”

Then again, he hadn’t honestly expected anything else and Loki going into great detail about how great they were and how much he supposedly loved them would have prompted a snarky statement, too.

“Never mind him. Jörmungandr liked puberty so much that he never grew out of it,” Fenrir commented, giving the best impression of a grin his wolfish features would allow him. He had to admit that it amused him to no end how confused yet fascinated Castiel looked following their conversation. That they were also riling up Dean with it was a somewhat regrettable side-effect. Not that there were too many regrets.

“Says the guy who thinks chasing after cats and cars is the best pastime ever,” his younger brother shot back, completely ignoring that they had other people around. Actually, it was quite likely that Jörmungandr was trying hard to forget they were present anyway and starting an argument simply helped with that.

“Hey, I don’t chase after cats, I love cats!” Fenrir huffed, sitting on his hind-legs and propping his fore-paws up on the table, so he could give his brother the stink-eye. In fact, he had had cats around before. They usually took some convincing to stay around his place at first, but once they had gotten over the first shock none of them had ever regretted taking up residence with him. There was nothing more calming and comforting than a purring cat sometimes.

“Me too,” Jörmungandr retorted with a sickenly sweet and through and through faked smile, “Once you get rid of all that fur they are delicious.”

“Shut up!” Dean demanded, once more raising his voice to levels that could only be described as yelling. Okay, the thought of that long-haired, slender freak eating cats wasn’t that pleasant, but most of all the older Winchester still didn’t know most of the things he wanted to know and the two jerks just kept bickering!

“What makes you think…?” Jörmungandr started in a rather sharp tone, unwilling to let a human tell him when he had to keep quiet, even though his father and both his siblings shot him warning looks. Yeah sure, he wasn’t supposed to upset ‘uncle Dean’, but it wasn’t like he gave much of a crap about that unspoken rule. If Sam honestly decided not to stick around because of something like that, then he’d gladly hold the door open for him.

“I said shut it, Snakey,” Dean repeated, completely ignoring who he was talking to and the tone the other man had used. And yes, he had looked up Loki and his family after meeting Hel for the first time. Since it was no question which one of them was the woman and which one of them was the wolf that only left the world-serpent. Not to mention that they had said his name earlier.

There actually was complete silence after the older Winchester’s comment. It only lasted a couple of seconds before both Hel and Fenrir broke into hysterical laughter, however.

“Okay, enough of that, let the adults talk for a bit,” Gabriel stated after the first wave of laughter had passed, gesturing for his three children to go outside. They knew most of the things they were going to talk about already anyway and what they didn’t know they’d know soon enough.

“I didn’t do anything to get banned from the room,” Hel protested weakly before she added on an afterthought, “And this is my place.”

This of course prompted Fenrir to snicker again, but he and Jörmungandr left willingly enough. They had a lot to discuss as things were. They had only just met the one uncle that would neither rat them out or try to kill them – the wolf still was certain of that – even if he hadn’t said anything and there also was the older Winchester who might very well become a part of their lives, after all.

“Hel…” the archangel said in a bit of a warning tone. He didn’t have to say anything more before she shook her head slightly and with an overly dramatic sigh left the room with her brothers.

“Dean,” Sam tried again now that there were only half as many people around as before. Getting his older brother to calm down a bit before they did any talking sounded like a good idea. The younger Winchester had this feeling that Gabriel wouldn’t exactly hold back on the sarcastic and somewhat infuriating remarks, so it clearly would be better if Dean wasn’t as close to exploding as he obviously was.

“I’m this close to losing my shit, Sam,” the older Winchester confirmed what his younger brother already knew, raising his hand and leaving only a minimal distance between his thumb and forefinger to illustrate what he had just said.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Sam replied, sighing. Okay, they’d have to have this conversation like that then. “Uh… so… Loki is actually...”

“Gabriel,” Castiel interrupted, saying the first word since he had been thrown into all of this. Even though it didn’t show too much on the outside, the angel was still processing everything he had learned in the past hour. A brother – and superior – he had believed lost forever had resurfaced. There was no use denying that Gabriel in some ways wasn’t the archangel he remembered, especially as soon as his – from Cas’ perspective newly acquired - pagan side was showing. However, that he was the being who had kept Sam Winchester out of harms way for quite some time and obviously continued to do so made Castiel hope that there was a way to do what he personally felt he needed to do without taking the step into complete disobedience, after all.

“Right. That why you dropped your knife so quickly?” Dean asked, sounding calmer, but there was an edge to his voice that Sam knew all too well and didn’t like at all.

“It is an…” Castiel started to point out the wrong term the older Winchester had used automatically before he stopped himself and answered the question instead, “Yes. It seemed unwise to pursue battle with an archangel.”

Besides, he had liked and admired Gabriel like many other seraphs had back in the day. The archangel had mostly been kind and approachable as compared to the others. Not to mention that he was or had been God’s messenger and thus had spoken to their father which never failed to raise curiosity, especially in the younger angels.

“That’s it? It seemed unwise? No ‘I’ve known him for ages and he’s an okay guy’? No ‘I knew he wouldn’t actually blow us to smithereens, so I thought what the hell let’s put that blade away’,” the older Winchester snarked. Sure, going up against an archangel probably would have been a bad idea, but simply dropping your weapon usually was a bad idea, too. It didn’t help that the last of those dicks with wings that Castiel had clearly trusted far too much had betrayed them all very recently. That Uriel was an even bigger asshole than assumed wasn’t Cas’ fault, but it was a reason for taking the angel’s judgment with a grain of salt.

“Goddammit Dean!” Sam finally exploded, “We all get it, you don’t like any of this and I can’t even blame you for that, but jumping at everyone’s throat won’t get you anywhere either!”

Given the way Dean eyed him critically there was no doubt that the older Winchester thought that his brother had been brainwashed again and was only trying to figure out how far removed from reality he was.

“The way I see it we can really use every helping hand we can get and they want to help us,” the younger Winchester added reasonably as he thought. Of course, his older brother was pretty much deaf on that ear that very moment.

“Really? Is that what you believe or what he makes you believe?” Dean shot back heatedly, “I want you as far away from the jerk as possible.”

It had been obvious for some time that the time he had spent with the Trickster – which he would always be, even if he was actually an angel – had messed Sam up. Hell, he had even admitted that the jerk had somehow manipulated him into liking him!

“And if I don’t want that?” the younger Winchester asked, making sure that his brother understood that he really didn’t want to leave. The only question was how Dean was going to take that.

“My point exactly, why wouldn’t you?” the older Winchester retorted, raising his voice in exasperation. How was he going to convince his brainwashed brother that he was being brainwashed when the brainwashing program didn’t allow him to see things like that?

“Because I love him!” the younger Winchester nearly shouted.

It was hard to tell which one of the Winchesters looked more shocked after that confession. Sam couldn’t quite believe that he had actually yelled about the feelings that he hadn’t wanted to admit he even had a day ago and Dean – understandably – couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Okay, you two need a time-out,” Gabriel decided, snapping his fingers and sending Sam back to his room and Dean to an identical guest room with it, “That didn’t go well.”

Hearing the younger Winchester effectively say that he didn’t want to stay away from the archangel with that much conviction had felt pretty good and even if Sam most likely already regretted the other confession he had made, there weren’t many things that Gabriel would have rather heard. Both humans clearly were in no condition to have a serious discussion and hear about even more things that neither one of them would like, however.

“I believe the humans call this an understatement,” Castiel commented matter-of-factly.


	29. Chapter 29

**29**

 

The older Winchester was pacing, every now and then kicking a random piece of furniture when Castiel came to join him. The angel might have searched for this conversation sooner, if Gabriel had not had a few things he wanted to discuss in private. He also had to admit that his brother had had a point when he had insisted that it was better to let Dean vent a little before approaching him again, anyway.

“As I understand it Gabriel only banned you to this room until you get your temper under control, Dean,” Castiel pointed out matter-of-factly, taking his place next to the recliner and out of the human’s way. Pointlessly walking up and down might not be the most effective way of burning excess energy, but there didn’t seem to be a better option as things were and it looked like the older Winchester had calmed down a little already.

“Makes it so much better,” Dean snorted, stopping his pacing long enough to glare at the angel who was unfortunate enough to be the only one around who he could glare at. The older Winchester realized that he was being ungrateful and unfair to a man he called his friend more often than not and vowed to buy him a beer or something alike the next chance they got, but for the time being Castiel would just have to deal with his cranky self, which he apparently didn’t dislike enough to stay away, anyway.

“You were getting overly agitated and would have said things you would have regretted,” the angel stated reasonably. He might not have taken the same course of action his brother had, but Castiel had to admit that Gabriel had had his reasons to separate the humans yet again. Dean had already been close to losing his temper completely before and with Sam’s revelation it wouldn’t have been long until punches would have been thrown.

“Oh, you mean like Sam, who apparently loves your douchebag brother?” Dean groaned, “Seriously, do you have any brothers who are not douchebags?”

“There are thousands of angels and you have only met two of my brothers in person,” Castiel replied, shaking his head disapprovingly. Again, he could understand why the human was thinking about matters the way he did, but that didn’t mean that Dean was right and it also didn’t mean that the older Winchester wasn’t too fast with his judgment. Admittedly, there were a great many angels who most likely would never become friends of the hunter, but Castiel could also think of a number of his brothers and sisters who weren’t that far from Dean personality-wise.

“I’m assuming you can’t just get the three of us out of here,” the older Winchester stated in a bit of a softer tone. Even he had to admit that insulting a guy’s entire family was a low blow, especially since he hadn’t meant to insult Castiel with it.

“Gabriel’s powers surpass my own by far,” the angel confirmed, taking a short break before he added, “And Sam already voiced his preference.”

To be completely honest, if the older Winchester said ‘yes’ and the younger said ‘no’ Castiel was usually more likely to listen to Dean, but in this case Sam saying ‘no’ meant that there was no chance whatsoever that Gabriel would let them leave.

“Yeah, right,” the older Winchester huffed, “’His’ preference.”

Dean still was nowhere near convinced that his younger brother was in control of the things he was saying and even if Sam was technically saying these things by himself that still didn’t mean that they were coming from himself. If there was something the older Winchester had more first-hand experience with than he ever wished to have then it was with things others could make you do against everything you ever believed in.

“I admit that I might be wrong, but I could not see any indication that your brother’s decision making was influenced by someone else,” Castiel pointed out seriously. As he had said earlier, Gabriel’s powers surpassed his own significantly, so he could not be completely sure that he wouldn’t miss any sort of influence the archangel might have over the younger Winchester, but from everything he had seen and heard he didn’t think there was a reason to doubt that Sam was speaking his own mind and making his own decisions.

“I have had some time to speak to my brother’s children and I can assure you that they are remarkable beings who wish to help us,” the angel added in a try to make Dean see that he had reasons to believe that they actually were among friends, “And Sam’s feelings are very much reciprocated which means that Gabriel will do everything to stand between him and any harm that might come his way.”

Hearing about the lengths his brother had gone to to keep hidden all this time let Castiel see what a big and difficult step it was for the archangel to give up on his alter-ego and get back into heavenly affairs. Not to mention that he would inevitably drag his children in with him. That all four of them fully acknowledged what taking the side of the Winchesters would mean for them, but were still determined to go through with it was impressive to say the least.

“Other than himself, you mean,” Dean retorted.

“You once said you trusted my judgment,” Castiel sighed disappointedly, showing more emotion than he did most of the time and giving the older Winchester a bit of a bad conscience with it.

“Yeah well, but who’d have thought that you’re all for this shit? I mean, aren’t you guys sort of anti-nephilim?” Dean stated awkwardly, shrugging. He really wasn’t going to explain to Cas how the entire Uriel-fiasco made it harder to trust him as well and he absolutely wasn’t going to talk about the trust issues he could admit he had in general.

“Of course they are abominations,” Castiel replied much more casually than the words he had just used would have indicated, “But so is your brother and I consider him a friend.”

There was no use denying that Dean would have liked to punch Cas for his last statement, at least until he actually processed the second part of the sentence.

“Okay,” the older Winchester finally stated, clearing his throat noisily before he spoke on, “Just don’t ever use that word around him.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Dean, look, I never meant to…” Sam started once they were both allowed to return to the living room. He’d really have to talk to Gabriel about never again putting him in time-out when he got the chance. It felt pretty damn humiliating and he hadn’t even done anything to deserve it! First of all he’d have to get through the conversation with his older brother, who seemed determined to not even let him finish his apology, however.

“Unless you want to say that a blood vessel in your brain burst and made you say that without you actually feeling that way, I don’t want to hear it,” Dean interrupted, “Told you not to go sneaking around behind my back, that’s what I get for it.”

Of course, Sam hadn’t revealed his secret out of a wish to be completely honest with him and they both knew it, but the older Winchester was willing to ignore that as things were. It was more comfortable to think that his brother had felt like letting him in on a pretty big change in his life rather than believing that the feelings had just been too strong for Sam to keep inside. Yeah, no, Sammy might be a gigantic girl, but even he wasn’t that bad!

“I still didn’t mean to tell you quite like that,” the younger Winchester shrugged. To tell the truth, he hadn’t really thought about telling his brother before, but he hadn’t thought about keeping his feelings a secret, either. When and how he was going to come clean simply hadn’t seemed the most important issue, all things considered. He liked to believe that he would have taken the first chance when Dean didn’t have access to any weapons but had access to large quantities of alcohol to tell him, however.

“Like it would have made a difference,” the older Winchester snorted, before he cleared his throat and added awkwardly, “Since when are you… playing for the other team, anyway?”

Sam wasn’t even sure if the question itself or the fact that his older brother still seemed to gauge his reactions very carefully to determine if there was anything wrong with what he did or said was more insulting. Then again, it was like Dean to just ask about these things, especially if he thought he could make him squirm with it. Some day Sam was going to tell his brother just how perfectly he actually fit into the archangel/pagan family.

“Do you really want to talk about this stuff?” the younger Winchester finally asked instead of giving an answer. Not that the truthful answer would have done anything to convince his brother that he wasn’t being mind-controlled, anyway.

“I’m trying to get used to treating this as not completely out of this world insane,” Dean replied casually, “So, who tops?”

Sam’s very intense bitchface was at least exactly the reaction Dean thought his younger brother should have given him and it was doubtful that someone else could force exactly the same expression his younger brother had mastered halfway through puberty on his face. Maybe it was time to give up clinging to straws about Sammy being possessed or under someone else’s influence and switch to making fun of him while watching with hawk-eyes.

“So sorry to break up this little conversation, but we’ve got things to discuss,” Gabriel piped up after he decided that he had given the brothers enough time to talk, “Also, this far, I do.”

It was very hard to judge which one of the Winchesters looked more scandalized. The archangel would be lying if he said that he wouldn’t say the exact same thing again, if he had the chance to turn back time, however. Besides, knowing the things he had to break to them next, chances were they’d forget all about this soon enough.

“You’ve been had,” Gabriel stated straightforwardly, “This entire saving the seals from being broken business? All just a way to keep you guys busy and complacent.”

There apparently were quite a few angels who weren’t in on the entire scheme and those had been fighting and dying for the same lost cause, as well. Thinking about that actually made the archangel’s blood boil. He might have been far removed from heavenly policy for a very long time, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hit him hard to realize just how bad things had gotten over the centuries.

“There are six-hundred seals and Lilith only needs sixty-six. You never had a chance,” Gabriel added to hammer the point home. They had been treating the symptoms rather than the illness by trying to protect single seals, no matter how little any of them would like to hear it. Sure, they had saved people’s lives in the cases they had managed to stop the demon, but as great as that was, it didn’t change anything about the bigger picture.

“So what? Lucifer will walk free no matter what we do?” Sam swallowed hard, looking at his brother and the two angels as if he was trying to will either one of them to just say that there was still something they could do. The way Castiel was balling his hands into fists didn’t exactly look promising, however.

“No, I didn’t say that,” the archangel replied, “Actually, to be exact you never had a chance to keep Lilith from breaking sixty-four of the seals. The first and the last she doesn’t have full control over.”

Yes, he might have said that right from the start, but he felt he had had to use drastic measures to make sure he had both humans’ full attention. It had been quite clear that Dean wasn’t that willing to listen to anything he was saying. Starting with a big bang had made the older Winchester listen, at least.

“Wait wait wait, what the hell is this all about?” Dean demanded. It had been very hard to miss the guilty and somewhat worried look Castiel had shot him when the archangel had spoken and everything that could get an all too clear reaction out of Cas couldn’t be good for them.

“Oh bro, your pokerface still needs a lot of work,” Gabriel clicked his tongue, “And hell was a pretty damn good keyword, Dean-o.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have talked to Castiel before speaking to the Winchester brothers, but then again a few pieces of this overly complicated puzzle had only fallen into place once he had known exactly what his brother had and hadn’t been informed about. At least there was no doubt that Castiel had told him everything he had wanted to know truthfully. If there was one thing his little brother didn’t have in him, it was lying.

“Gabriel, please, just say it,” Sam piped up impatiently. It was obvious to him that the archangel wasn’t too happy to give them the information that he had to give them, but allowing him to beat about the bush and draw things out for much longer than absolutely necessary wouldn’t help any of them, either.

“The first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break,” the archangel stated gravely. He suspected that the words wouldn’t make that much sense to Sam, but Dean would undoubtedly exactly know what they meant. He’d gladly leave it to the older Winchester to explain further, though.

“You are lying!” Dean yelled. It was bad enough that he had broken after thirty years, it was bad enough that he had started to torture other souls no matter if they deserved it or not and it was bad enough that he had never had the balls to admit all this to his brother, but he wasn’t going to take responsibility for the things Lilith was doing. He couldn’t be responsible for all this!

“Gabriel speaks the truth,” Castiel said so silently that the contrast to the older Winchester’s outburst couldn’t have been bigger, “We were ordered to raise you from hell to prevent this from happening, but we came too late. _I_ was not fast enough.”

The angel was beginning to understand that the order to get the righteous man out of hell had come too late deliberately, that they hadn’t had more of a chance to rescue him in time than they had a chance to stop Lilith from breaking those sixty-four seals Gabriel had spoken about. That didn’t mean that he could stop blaming himself all of a sudden, however.

“Oh father,” Gabriel groaned, “Stop it! All of you! Don’t you understand? You all were tricked, manipulated and outright forced to play along. All these things started long before you had any chance to understand what was going on and long before Cassy ever set foot on Earth.”

Half of their team breaking down because of things that couldn’t be changed anymore and before they had even heard the entire story wouldn’t help them any for sure! Sure, Gabriel shared some of the blame, as well. He had caught on to everything by far too late and even when he had thought that something fishy was going on, he hadn’t exactly put all his energy into figuring things out. He wasn’t going to start feeling all too guilty about this any time soon, however. The ones to blame were the angels and demons who had set things into motion and they were going to pay soon enough.

“The one thing we can do is to stop it right here, right now,” the archangel added once he was sure he had the attention of everyone present again.

“How do we do that?” Sam asked, hoping and – ironically – praying that the answer would be something that would make Dean feel a little better. Knowing his brother, giving Dean an option to undo the damage he believed he had caused would at least keep him from tearing himself apart. The younger Winchester also really wanted to know what exactly had happened in hell now that it was all too clear that he was the only one present who was left out of the loop, but he also understood that he’d have to approach that subject very carefully. He just hoped he could find the patience to wait for the moment when Dean would be ready to talk.

“ _You_ don’t do anything,” Gabriel replied, looking directly into Sam’s eyes to get across just how serious he was about this, “Dean-o had to break the first seal. You have to break the last.”

The problem they were facing and that he hadn’t yet mentioned was that they couldn’t just hide at Hel’s place forever, though. The more time passed, the more desperate the angels and demons were going to get and seeing how this conspiracy obviously went up to the highest ranks of heaven, they’d eventually find a way to locate them, too. It was a fact that Gabriel would not have managed to stay hidden for as long as he had, if Michael and Raphael hadn’t stopped looking for him somewhere along the way.

“Why us?” the younger Winchester asked the question that the archangel had anticipated but feared all the same. There was no truthful and gentle way to answer and he certainly wasn’t going to get away without saying anything, either. Oh, there was a lot of stuff about bloodlines he could have talked about, but in the end it all would come down to the things he didn’t want to say, anyway.

“It’s all about getting the players needed for the Apocalypse in their positions,” Gabriel shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes, which only Sam realized, because both Dean and Castiel were busy not looking at anyone, too. “Michael’s vessel had to break the first, Lucifer’s the last.”


	30. Chapter 30

**30**

 

They all were silent for a few very uncomfortable moments after that revelation. Gabriel knew that he had just dropped quite the bomb on both Winchesters, but they had needed to know. On the positive side, everything else that still had to be said as soon as they were ready again wasn’t quite as bad compared to this.

“Okay, where’s the liquor cabinet around here? And don’t tell me there isn’t one,” Dean finally stated. He ignored the puzzled – and maybe slightly worried – look Castiel shot his way in favor of staring Gabriel down as if he was trying to will the archangel to give up the one piece of information he was still willing to listen to as things were.

“Are you serious?” Sam asked incredulously. Sure, he was feeling overwhelmed too, but they had to somehow figure out what all of this meant and what to do against it. Drowning their sorrows wouldn’t do anything other than giving them a headache and probably regrets later on!

“I’ve had it up to here with his happy little stories,” Dean replied, raising his hand to his forehead to illustrate his point. There was just too much he had had to learn with too little time to let anything sink in. The older Winchester simply felt like he needed a break and since they apparently were at a place where they should be safe that shouldn’t be asking for too much.

“We should…”Sam tried before he was promptly interrupted. No big surprise there.

“Not now. Gimme a break,” the older Winchester demanded, before he softened his voice a little, “I don’t want to fight with you, Sammy.”

The younger Winchester nodded dumbly. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand where his brother’s wish came from and it wasn’t that he thought it was unreasonable. He had hoped that they might be able to talk things over and somehow find a solution, however.

Dean left the room the very second Gabriel pointed the right door out to him while Castiel seemed to have a hard time deciding what he was meant to do. It only took a few seconds before the angel took off after the older Winchester, however.

To tell the truth, Dean had only half-expected his brother to follow, but it still didn’t help his mood any that he apparently wasn’t even thinking about joining him in the obligatory ‘so we’re fucked again’ bender. He also understood that Sam had probably hoped for a heart-to-heart talk about everything, but something like that was hard enough for Dean when it was just the two of them. With Cas and especially Gabriel around that wasn’t going to happen. To get his slightly guilty conscience to shut up he made a mental note to get a hold on his brother later on, however.

“I’m sure Hel will be the perfect host,” the archangel shrugged casually which did nothing to lighten the younger Winchester’s mood. Not that he had honestly expected it to.

Sam sighed heavily and finally plopped down on the couch, running his hand through his hair in a motion that sometimes helped him to calm down and focus. It didn’t have the desired effect as things were, however. He got it, he really did. Dean had to deal with a lot of things that he had already been given the time to digest in addition to the information he was struggling with currently. That didn’t make anything better for the younger Winchester, though.

“Sam, listen to me,” Gabriel ordered, putting his hand against the side of the hunter’s neck gently forcing him to turn his head into his direction, “It doesn’t mean anything.”

He really didn’t like how erratic the younger Winchester’s pulse felt under his fingertips, but there was nothing much he could have done against it without crossing lines that might throw them back into ‘I obviously can’t trust you’ territory even further.

“How can you even say that?” Sam sighed, moving a way just far enough for the archangel to get the hint and stop touching him. The contact hadn’t actually bothered him, but his entire being was clearly on the retreat and pulling away from the person reaching out to him was a part of that.

“Because I know a thing or two about stuff like that and that’s not how vessels get chosen. It’s all about the bloodline, not about who you are,” Gabriel explained seriously, putting his hand on the hunter’s knee instead. There was also a thing or two he knew about the younger Winchester and allowing him to withdraw completely and get lost in his own head was never a good thing, that was for sure.

“Who I am is Lucifer’s vessel,” Sam pointed out fatalistically enough to make the archangel cringe slightly, even though he didn’t believe that the human was really accepting what he thought was his fate. There was no room for doubt in Gabriel’s mind that the younger Winchester would have fought Lucifer tooth and nail, if he had been around that very moment no matter what his words might have sounded like.

“Sam, that’s what you are, not who you are,” the archangel pointed out, tightening his grip on the human’s knee a little without consciously deciding to do so, “Who you are is a brilliant, self-depreciating, kind-hearted idiot and the man I love. Don’t get those two mixed again, or I might get a brother-complex!”

The attempt at humor didn’t exactly make the younger Winchester laugh, but it made him lean a little closer to Gabriel. There was no use denying that the archangel knew how to make him feel somewhat better and how to get through to him to a point where he found it easier to just say what was on his mind.

“It’s why mom and Jessica got killed and why I got demon blood in me, isn’t it?” Sam asked, looking directly into Gabriel’s eyes. There was something like a merciful lie under the right circumstances, but the younger Winchester wanted to make as sure as he could that he didn’t get one of those.

“You got your cause and effects all wrong, kiddo,” the archangel explained patiently, “None of these things happened because you are genetically predisposed to be Luci’s vessel. They happened because a bunch of jerks have decided not to play by the rules.”

“I don’t…” Sam frowned. He was trying to follow, but it wasn’t that easy when Gabriel kept referencing things that he knew nothing about. At least, the other man was willing enough to elaborate on any detail the younger Winchester didn’t understand.

“It’s meant to be about choice and free will, Sam,” the archangel stated, “Dad’s always been big on those with your kind. Looks like a bunch of us and a bunch of them weren’t sure enough that things were going to go down the way they want them to and started to push and pull wherever they saw a chance to get you into the right position.”

Gabriel wouldn’t pretend that he knew and understood everything his father had been planning, but as he saw it the way it had been meant to be Lucifer’s vessel should have been the one to break the seals in the first place.

“I was meant to say yes to Lucifer just because? Why would I ever do that?” Sam asked incredulously. Somehow there was barely any space left between him and Gabriel, the younger Winchester noticed absentmindedly. It nearly looked like they were gravitating toward each other once they had reached a certain level of closeness.

“Being more powerful than any human could ever dream of? Immortality, no more responsibilities, revenge, belief, sympathy for the devil? There’s a lot of possibilities,” Gabriel shrugged, “But we’re going to stop all this long before you or Dean have to make a decision, anyway.”

The archangel’s tone did not betray that he didn’t actually have a full fledged plan yet, which absolutely didn’t count as lying or deception, because he had never said he had one in the first place. Besides, he already had a few ideas that only needed to be brought to perfection and that was why he had let Castiel in on the most promising ones to get a second opinion and to bounce the possible plans off of someone who wasn’t going to get emotional about them immediately.

“Are you afraid I might make the wrong one?” Sam looked at Gabriel inquiringly, leaning into the smaller man all the same. If he was completely honest, he would have to admit that that was what frightened him the most. There was no use denying that there was something dark in him and he had already proven that given the right circumstances he could go off the deep end in no time at all.

“I’m afraid that nobody could ever say no to anything Lucifer wants, if he had your puppy dog eyes,” the archangel replied with a smirk, bumping his shoulder against the taller man’s. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Sam didn’t think that was funny, but Gabriel had decided that they were done with gloomy and depressing topics for the day. Somebody had to make that sort of decision for the younger Winchester when he was obviously unable to make them himself.

“Lighten up a bit Samsquatch, we’re nowhere near losing and this is a safe place, anyway,” Gabriel added nearly cheerily, “Maybe we should get some alcohol into you, too.”

If he wasn’t completely wrong, and the chances for that were damn near perfect, Dean-o was well on his way of drinking his sorrows away. It only seemed fair that Sam should get the same chance.

“That’s not what I want,” the younger Winchester admitted with a crooked smile. He got it, he did. There would be no more talking about these things, but that didn’t mean that he too wanted to kill brain cells with alcohol. Actually, he was more of a depressed drunk, anyway. There was no use getting hammered when it would only tempt him to try and get a promise from Dean that he’d kill him before he ever said yes to Lucifer. Yeah, he really couldn’t do that to his brother again. Not yet, anyway.

“Enlighten me, what do you want?” Gabriel asked, running his fingers over the side of Sam’s neck in a barely there touch that made the human shiver, “’Cause right now your brother is busy getting drunk with an angel an a bunch of nephilim, so it’s just you and me and I’m inclined to give you pretty much anything you want.”

Sam didn’t even take the time to say ‘You’ before he pressed his lips against the archangel’s.

 

* * *

 

 

It hadn’t taken Dean and Castiel longer than a minute to locate the kitchen and while the older Winchester had been slightly miffed that all three of Gabriel’s children were there as well, he had changed his mind quickly enough when Hel had started to line up bottles from various cabinets.

“So, what do you want?” the goddess asked. Other than meeting people their father had kidnapped and kept hidden in a cabin in the woods for weeks, drinking with someone was a great way to make new friends. Friends or enemies, but she chose to assume that they’d be friends by the end of the evening.

“Ten says beer,” Fenrir whispered not quite silently enough for the older Winchester not to overhear it.  
“Twenty says whiskey,” Jörmungandr countered with a slight smirk.

Dean chose to ignore the two of them completely for the sake of getting to what should become the good – or at least better – part of the evening. He had a lot he wanted to forget for a little while and Hel seemed to have a lot of alcohol, so that was a promising start.

“Bring on the strong stuff,” the older Winchester answered, accepting the nearly half-full glass of whiskey she handed to him pretty much instantly, “Thanks.”

Judged by the quality of the whiskey the goddess at least had taste which was something Dean could respect. Damn, he had been honest when he had told Sam that he was trying to get used to all of this, but it just wasn’t easy, especially not since things just kept piling up.

“So, uncle Cas, what’s your poison?” Hel asked, cutting away on various fruits and putting most of the pieces into a glass bowl.

“I don’t understand why you are asking me about toxins,” Castiel replied, tilting his head in confusion, especially after Dean shot him one of those looks that let him know that he had just done something the human thought was amusing in some way. Fenrir’s snickering was a very good clue, as well.

Hel shook her head fondly and just mixed a few things together, handing a tall glass with a mixture of their special order alcohol, strawberry syrup, cream and cranberry juice to the angel, but not before she had added a strawberry to the rim of the glass for good measure. Castiel did not look convinced, but the picture of their stoic uncle in his suit and trenchcoat with about the pinkest drink Hel could mix in his hand was priceless by itself.

It also became apparent what the goddess had cut all the fruit for when she added apple juice, tea and a lot of the clear liquid from the unlabeled bottle she had also used for Castiel’s drink and put the bowl on the floor in front of her wolfish brother.

“What’s that stuff?” Dean asked, pointing at the bottle. At least, it wasn’t very likely to actually be poison since Hel had just given it to her own brother as well, but the older Winchester would feel better knowing what exactly his angelic friend was currently nipping on.

“Special order vodka,” the goddess replied with a grin, quickly finishing the two martinis she had been mixing, handing one to her older brother and putting the other one on the table before she filled a small glass with some more of the liquor and handed it to the older Winchester.

Dean couldn’t honestly say that he had ever been one shy away from new experiences when it came to drinks, but in this case he gave an experimental sniff before he carefully nipped on it.

“Made with lots of love and devotion by a Russian alcoholic,” Hel explained when the older Winchester obviously decided that he liked his drink well enough. He’d better switch back to his whiskey later on, however. It took a lot to make any of them drunk and it figured that the same was true for Castiel, but Dean could actually seriously damage his liver and they hadn’t even had a chance to really get to know each other, yet.

“In his bathtub,” Jörmungandr added dryly, downing half of his martini in a go before he started to drink more slowly.

His brother’s every now and then dry sense of humor wouldn’t have made Fenrir snort into his drink with laughter, but the horrified look on Dean’s face did exactly that. In fact, neither he nor Hel could stop snickering long enough to point out that Jörm had only been messing with the older Winchester.

“I find it quite agreeable,” Castiel pointed out matter-of-factly which prompted Dean to slide the still mostly filled glass over to the angel. He was pretty sure that he had been had, but he’d gladly go back to his whiskey, anyway.

They drank in silence for some time after that, Hel making sure that none of their glasses ever ran completely dry, even though Dean was pretty sure that Cas had unsuccessfully tried to stop her at least once by that point.

“So, did your father ever tell you what this is all about?” the older Winchester asked after he had enough whiskey in his system to feel like talking. Really, it was Sam’s own fault that he was missing this opportunity.

“Of course,” Hel answered with a shrug. Alright, so maybe Loki had mostly told her about the details and she had then passed them on to her brothers who had in turn confronted their father about it at the next chance they had gotten. Fact was that they all knew about as much about the things that were going on as their father did. At least, he had promised that they did.

“That’s just great,” Dean huffed. In this case his bad mood wasn’t even caused by the fact that those three specific people knew. Anyone knowing was pretty damn bad considering that being the designated vessels of Michael and Lucifer would put him and Sam on the hit-list of basically everyone out there. And that wasn’t even touching on everything else that made this new piece of knowledge nothing but uncomfortable.

“You know, there is a prophecy that says that my brother and I will play key roles in the Norse apocalypse,” Fenrir stated in a conversational tone, sitting upright so he could look directly into Dean’s eyes.

“You going anywhere with that?” the older Winchester asked, raising an eyebrow at the wolf. The hunter in Dean of course took the little story he had been told as instant confirmation that at least two of the three pagans were damn dangerous and needed to be dealt with. It was quite clear that that wasn’t what Fenrir had wanted to achieve, however. Not to mention that he wasn’t only a hunter but also the brother of the guy who was apparently banging or wanted to bang – the glass of whiskey was emptied very quickly after that thought – the father of said pagans. Oh, the things he had to put up with!

“I wouldn’t eat Odin, if they wrapped him in bacon, deep fried him and served him with a side of fries, lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes,” Fenrir replied with enough conviction to make everyone in the room look at him in complete silence for a long moment.

Despite himself, even Dean had to laugh at that.


	31. Chapter 31

**31**

 

Nobody should say that Gabriel wasn’t mindful of everyone else’s more or less fragile sensibilities. As soon as Sam had gotten his hands under the archangel’s shirt, he had transported them to the closest guest room which luckily was the one the younger Winchester was staying in, anyway. As things were, Gabriel was too focused on kissing and nipping Sam’s lips to spare any brainpower to moving them again just to make sure they were not doing anything inappropriate on Dean’s bed. The older Winchester didn’t even know how lucky he had gotten there.

“I love you,” the archangel mumbled against the hunter’s neck, tangling his fingers in the taller man’s hair. It took a few moments until Gabriel even realized that Sam had not exactly frozen, but had lost some of his enthusiasm. That he had a pretty firm grip on the archangel’s hips that he used to hold him close instead of pushing him away counted as a good sign, however.

“What’s the matter?” Gabriel asked, cupping the back of Sam’s head with one hand while he ran his fingers over his neck with the other. It was quite obvious that something had just thrown them off track, but he would be lying if he said that he had an inkling of an idea what exactly was going on.

“I used to have dreams like this,” the younger Winchester sighed, leaning into the touch.

The archangel mentally prepared himself for somehow explaining to the hunter, that those dreams hadn’t come from him and that he had done nothing to influence Sam’s mind in the slightest ever since the day they had separated. He knew better than to start a speech in his defense before he had been accused of anything, though. Chances were that he’d only give the human doubts that he might not even have had in the first place with something like that.

“They always ended here,” Sam explained, leaning his forehead against Gabriel’s. He really didn’t want to wake up to a reality where there still was a lot of distance between them. Damn, if he could have chosen a moment that should just go on forever, this one seemed like a pretty good one. There was no use denying that the archangel had a way to make him feel safe, like he didn’t have to watch his back the entire time and it didn’t hurt that he felt pretty damn good that very moment, too.

“This doesn’t end until you say so,” Gabriel promised, capturing Sam’s lips in an unhurried kiss that grew more passionate when the younger Winchester sighed and gave the archangel the perfect opportunity to send his tongue on a little fieldtrip.

It was a really good thing that Sam’s fingers had not forgotten how to get the archangel out of layers of clothes while the blood that had been meant for his brain was being re-directed over the weeks. Granted, he didn’t get all too far, since he didn’t want to separate long enough to actually pull Gabriel’s undershirt over his head, but his red shirt was gone and his jeans were on the best way of being unbuttoned, at least.

The younger Winchester was in a similar state of undress, even though he would be hard pressed to remember when exactly the archangel had found the time to remove any of his clothes in between kissing him senseless and moving them toward the bed.

In the end it was Gabriel who broke away from the kiss. Sam barely had the time to wonder what the smirk on his face was all about, before their remaining clothes simply disappeared. The definitely surprised yelp that escaped the hunter might not have been very dignified, but it surely was understandable. It turned into a drawn out moan as soon as the archangel got his hands on him and brought the two of them as close together as possible, however.

Actually, the younger Winchester would have to admit that he had been a bit too fast in his earlier judgment. If he could have chosen one moment that should go on forever, he’d have chosen this exact moment when they were pressed up against each other, both of them reveling in the fact that they had been able get back to the sort of closeness they both had believed they had lost forever.

Sam allowed Gabriel to push him onto the bed and grabbed his hand to pull him along, so they ended even more tangled up in each other than they had been before soon afterward. There was a moment when the archangel looked back at the hunter, a question clear in his eyes, but the younger Winchester had long since decided that he quite liked his position and that he really didn’t want to have a discussion about it. So he simply cupped Gabriel’s face and initiated another kiss, spreading his legs in invitation for good measure.

It should never be said that the archangel couldn’t take a hint and when the signals he was receiving worked so well with his own preferences it was all the better.

It wasn’t long until Gabriel deemed Sam ready and they could get to the part they were both equally desperate to get to at that point. The rhythm the archangel set was unhurried and just on the satisfying side of teasing, but there was only so much he could do to draw their encounter out a little and he was determined to make it last. In the end, it was the younger Winchester who got impatient and wrapped his leg around the small of Gabriel’s back to get better leverage to move with him.

“You in a hurry?” the archangel grinned, effectively preventing Sam from ever answering that question by thrusting harder and faster. Oh well, they’d just have to make it last next time. It really looked like there would be a next time this time around, at least.

Gabriel couldn’t for the live of him remember, if Hel generally sound-proofed her rooms, but if she hadn’t, he was pretty sure that Dean would like him even less come morning. Not that he was really thinking of the older Winchester when he had Sam still shuddering through the aftershocks under him and when he himself was nearing completion fast.

“There’s something I want to do,” the archangel stated in a gentle tone a little time later, brushing a stray strand of hair out of the younger Winchester’s face, as they were lying on their sides, cuddled up to each other still.

“Ask again in about an hour, or two,” Sam mumbled sleepily. He was extremely relaxed and content as things were and there was no way he was going to move again all too soon, not even for the kind of movement he was pretty sure Gabriel had in mind.

“Pervert, I wasn’t talking about round two,” the smaller man chuckled, giving the younger Winchester a short and sweet kiss, “Though now that you mention it…”

Being an archangel using a human vessel, he was in damn near complete control over his biology, if he wanted to be, after all. There was something else he had meant to say however, and this seemed to be the perfect time to make that sort of suggestion.

“Okay, what is it then?” Sam asked a little warily. He was pretty sure that the way Gabriel immediately started to gently knead his neck at the first sign of tension counted as cheating and maybe manipulating, but he found it hard to care about that too much while he was being kept in a state of relaxation.

“There’s a way for me to show you that you can trust me,” the archangel replied, keeping his tone perfectly level, “But it’s rather permanent.”

“Rather permanent?” the younger Winchester wanted to know, frowning slightly. In theory, having a way to get rid of the last traces of doubt he had – though they were nowhere near the forefront of his mind that moment – sounded great, but there had to be a reason why the archangel had waited until he had him all content and pliant to bring it up.

“Sticks until one of us bites the dust,” Gabriel shrugged casually, carefully monitoring both the way the hunter was looking at him and the – practically nonexistent – tension in his neck as a way to judge when he was getting to a point the younger Winchester didn’t like. This far they seemed to be on solid ground, however.  
“What’s the downside?” Sam sighed.

“Other than what I just told you?” the archangel asked, quite content with the fact that Sam obviously didn’t consider the part about permanence to be bad, “A little mark, no bigger than my hand.”

Everything else creating the sort of connection between them Gabriel intended to create, if the younger Winchester agreed, didn’t count as a downside. It wasn’t even like it’d bind the two of them to each other or something. In theory, they could still break up any time they wanted without any ill effects for either one of them. Not that the archangel ever wanted that to happen.

“That’s all?” Sam asked, searching the smaller man’s face for any trace of deception.

“That’s all,” Gabriel confirmed.

The hunter closed his eyes for a few long moments, thinking. He knew he hadn’t asked nearly enough questions to know exactly what he was getting into and he was pretty sure that Dean would rip him a new one for even considering giving his consent to whatever the archangel had in mind exactly. There was no use denying that he mostly trusted Gabriel already, however. So it wasn’t like anything much would change, if they went through with this, was it?

In the end, the decision wasn’t as hard to make as it should have been. It all came down to the fact that Sam really wanted to trust Gabriel completely and if the archangel had a way to show him that that was possible, then he was willing to take a risk for it.

Sam opened his eyes again to meet the archangel’s enquiring look and nodded his consent.

“You sure?” Gabriel had to ask again, because of all the things he didn’t want to do just to have the younger Winchester hate him for them, this was pretty high up on the list.

“Yes,” Sam replied in a definite tone, before he warned, “Don’t ask again or I might change my mind.”

The archangel shook his head in amusement before he moved them so the taller man was once more on his back and he was halfway on top of him. “Now where would you want to have a mark like that?”

The younger Winchester considered the question for some time while Gabriel ran his fingers from his shoulder to the back of his hand and then back up just to trail them over his chest afterward. Logically, any place he could hide easily would be a good choice. He told himself that he was going to tell Dean about this when the right moment came, but that didn’t mean that he wanted his brother or anyone else to see whatever mark exactly the archangel was going to leave on him all the time.

Sam wasn’t exactly sure what possessed him to stop the smaller man’s fingers exactly the moment when they reached his right hipbone, but the heated look Gabriel gave him at that pretty much settled it.

“Kinky,” the archangel commented in a definitely pleased voice, keeping his palm pressed against the exact spot where the younger Winchester had held his hand down just a few moments earlier.

“Relax,” Gabriel instructed, nipping on Sam’s neck to help him follow the instruction. To his credit, the taller man only tensed up for a moment before he let go completely. He was promptly rewarded when more kisses were planted all over his neck, cheek and finally on his lips.

“I thought this wasn’t about round two,” the younger Winchester breathed just before something not unlike a minor electric shock went through him. Little surprisingly it was centered right on the spot the archangel was still pressing his palm against. It didn’t last long enough to become really painful however and only left a quite pleasant tingling feeling behind.

“You’re telling _me_ that?” Gabriel grinned, letting his eyes wander down Sam’s body. It was quite obvious that some part of the hunter had to enjoy sensations that were bordering on pain a little too much, but the all too clear evidence for that wasn’t what the archangel’s eyes were focused on.

“A mark no bigger than your hand. Ha ha,” Sam commented somewhat dryly, following Gabriel’s gaze to the handprint that was seemingly burned into his hip now. Granted, he could have asked what exactly that mark would be like before. Not that he would have said no, if he had known.

“How’s that…?” the younger Winchester started a question before the archangel hushed him. He’d have really liked to know how this was supposed to do anything about the trust issues they probably didn’t even have standing between them given how ready Sam had been to let Gabriel do this to him based on his word alone. He considered the possibility that all this really had been more about the gesture of accepting the mark the archangel had wanted to put on him until another jolt went through him abruptly.

Gabriel grinned again, pressing his fingertips against the handprint gently once more, opening the connection he had established between them so even the human could feel it all too clearly. “Does that answer your question?”

Sam couldn’t find his voice to reply when his entire being was swarmed with emotions and glimpses of memories that weren’t his own, even though he played a part in most of them. The feelings he received were the strongest and most impressive part of the entire experience, however. In fact, there was so much love and devotion that it was getting hard to breathe.

The archangel took his hand away before the younger Winchester could get overwhelmed completely. They’d probably have to experiment with that some more before Sam got used to it, but something told Gabriel that that wouldn’t be much of a problem. He didn’t get a warning before the younger Winchester was pulling him into a heated kiss.

That much for that one or two hour waiting period…

 

* * *

 

 

“You look like you had a couple of Hel’s special drinks,” Gabriel chuckled, looking at his brother with barely concealed amusement. Castiel looked mussed up all the time anyway, but after one night spent drinking with Hel, Fenrir, Jörmungandr and Dean he had reached a whole new level of disheveled. The archangel had the sudden urge to take a picture and start an album of his little brother’s memorable moments.

“It’s not necessary to talk quite this loudly,” Castiel grumbled. Judged by the state he had been in less than one hour ago his condition was improving rapidly, but there had been something about the beverages he had been handed that prevented him from healing himself of the headache and nausea instantly. If he had not had some nice bonding experiences with his nephews and niece the other night he would have had to reconsider, if they weren’t evil after all.

“How’s Dean-o holding up?” Gabriel asked, not changing anything about his tone. One lesson his brother had to learn was that nobody ever was considerate when it came to hangover induced pain. That was a part of the price you paid for drinking so much in the first place.

“Dean is currently sleeping. I don’t expect him to be able to stand upright before noon,” Castiel answered, stepping a little further away from the archangel when he didn’t change anything about the volume he spoke with.

The older Winchester had clearly been able to bond with all three of Gabriel’s children very well. In fact, he had proclaimed that they were all awesome considering they were the kids of that archangelic slash pagan bastard shortly before he had fallen asleep on the table. Fenrir had assured Castiel that things like that happened to the best of them and that the human would just have to sleep it off, so the angel had simply put his charge to bed. He did not have the sort of experience with liquor that his nephew had, so he had to trust his judgment.

“Huh, that’s funny,” Gabriel commented with a lewd grin, “Pretty sure the Samsquatch is out cold at least until lunchtime, too. I’d nearly be offended if he wasn’t.”

The younger Winchester had been pretty worn out which was enough to fill the archangel with some pride. Sure, human stamina didn’t stand a chance against that of an angel, but he had hardly used any of his powers and a thoroughly loved lover was something to be proud of regardless.

“You continue to confuse me,” Castiel admitted, “And I don’t think it has anything to do with the aftereffects of your daughter’s drinks.”

“As much as I’d love to give you the birds and the bees talk, we’ll have to keep that for another time,” the archangel shrugged, “So, have you thought about my suggestions? Which one do you like best?”

He hadn’t forced himself to leave the warm bed and side of his gentle giant just to have some smalltalk between brothers they could have had when the others were awake and around as well.

“They are all quite reckless and dangerous,” Castiel replied seriously. He had given the plans his brother had discussed with him while the Winchesters had been in time out thought as Gabriel had ordered, of course. He didn’t like any of them, however. Of course, Castiel was used to following plans he had neither made nor approved of, but this time he had been asked for his opinion and so he was giving it.

“I’m afraid ‘none of them’ isn’t an answer I can accept.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

**32**

 

“You had three better options, but no, you had to go for the overlord of all douchebags,” Dean commented dryly, leaning against the kitchen counter, a cup of black coffee in his hands. Oh, he clearly felt the aftereffects of the previous night spent drinking, but the hangover was nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The older Winchester normally wasn’t quick to give someone he didn’t know that well credit for good things, but he had the feeling that Hel, or rather the aspirin she had provided him with, had something to do with it.

“Did you just call Fenrir a better option?” Sam raised an eyebrow, putting his own mug down. He had woken up less than an hour ago and after locating some new clothes had made his way to the kitchen where he had found his brother. That none of the others were around was a pretty good hint that they were being given the opportunity to have a conversation just between the two of them, which probably was long overdue, anyway.

“Hey, Wolfie is awesome,” Dean insisted with a small grin. Besides, Fenrir had a better sense of humor than his father, in the older Winchester’s opinion, anyway.

“Yeah, and he is a wolf basically all the time for all I’ve heard,” Sam huffed. Not to mention that he hadn’t exactly chosen to fall in love with Gabriel. It had happened due to circumstances that might not have been ideal, but there was no use denying that the feeling wasn’t only there but deeply rooted in both of them.

“Still leaves the other two,” Dean shrugged. Actually, Hel was just as awesome as her wolfish brother, but he wasn’t all too sure, if Sam still appreciated boobs. Jörmungandr wasn’t quite as cold as he seemed once you got him tipsy enough, too. Who’d have thought that the guy liked marshmallow mice with his drinks?

Sam shook his head with a disapproving sigh. It actually pleased him a little that they were talking about this at all, however. Sure, Dean wouldn’t start liking Gabriel anytime soon and he obviously had a hell of a time accepting that his younger brother was in a relationship with the archangel, but at least he acknowledged it. It also was promising, that somewhere along the way he had started to like the other three pagans.

The silence between them became heavy in no time flat. They both knew that they also had other things they needed to discuss and they’d both rather ignore them. As much as they’d have liked to ignore them, they also knew that that wasn’t really an option.

“I’ve been torturing other souls in hell. That’s what the entire ‘shedding blood in hell’ crap was all about,” the older Winchester stated all of a sudden, not meeting his brother’s eyes any longer.

“A part of me would hate you for asking,” Dean added before Sam could ask the question that obviously was on the tip of his tongue, “So I figured I’d just have to tell you before it becomes too strenuous for you to keep your mouth shut.”

Since everyone else already knew about it, he wouldn’t get away with leaving Sam in the dark for much longer and he’d hate it even more, if someone else told his brother, anyway. Way to ruin a perfectly okay morning. Oh well…

“Don’t. Just let me,” Dean went on talking, raising his hand to stop Sam from saying whatever it was that he had meant to say, “Every day after they were done with me - and I won’t bore you with the details about that - they’d offer that I could get off the rack, if I took up torturing others. Every day I told them to take their suggestion and stick it up their ass.”

The bravado the older Winchester was displaying was mostly faked and Sam didn’t exactly have troubles seeing through his brother, but he knew how hard it was for Dean to speak about this in the first place, so he just nodded silently.

“Some days they’d tell me about the new arrivals they had and what horrible people they were. Why would I want to endure more pain just to spare murderers, child-molesters and whatever other human kind of monsters they came up with? Not that I was sparing them, anyway. Not like they didn’t just get someone else to torture them,” the older Winchester snorted, before he forced himself to meet Sam’s eyes, “I refused, I swear I did.”

It was obvious that it was very important to Dean that his younger brother believed him. He had not broken as easily like that. They hadn’t swayed him with some argument that he actually had come up with himself long before they had ever brought it up.

“I believe you, Dean. I…” Sam tried to reassure his brother, but Dean was quick to interrupt him. The younger Winchester immediately shut up, as well. This was about his brother and about everything he wanted to share. Maybe there’d be a time to make his own remarks and questions later on, but clearly not now.

“But then,” Dean ground his teeth together, but forced himself to go on talking, anyway, “It just… I can’t even tell you what my breaking point was exactly.”

There had been so many things Alastair and sometimes others had done to him that he had thought he couldn’t stand that he honestly couldn’t say which one had been the one that had just broken the camel’s back anymore. He remembered the moment he had said ‘I’ll do it’ and that had been worse than anything before, anyway. The older Winchester had wanted to take it back immediately, but at the same time he hadn’t been able to.

“The first one… she was a witch who cursed a woman and her two kids so she could get to her husband. I didn’t feel sorry for her, but I knew that what I did was wrong,” Dean sighed deeply before he went on to admit the one major thing that was still missing, “After a few years, I wasn’t so sure about that anymore, either.”

Sam was trying to keep his expression from showing too much emotion, knowing that his brother would not appreciate it, that it would only make things harder for Dean, but he couldn’t keep the confusion about the last statement from showing. Luckily, the older Winchester was quick to answer the unasked question.

“Time passes different in hell, Sam,” Dean explained, fixing his eyes on the wall next to Sam’s head again, “Four months up here are forty years down there.”

There were a lot of people saying that coming clean made you feel better, that speaking about things that kept you awake at night was helping. There was very little keeping the older Winchester from shooting every one of those idiots. He hadn’t let his brother in on all these things to feel better, however. Their situation had simply called for it and that had been it. A necessity born from circumstances.

“And now I don’t ever want to talk about it again,” Dean finished decisively, crossing his arms in front of his chest as a clear sign that this was the end of this conversation.

A part of Sam wanted to protest, but in the end he simply nodded his consent. Everyone was dealing with horrible things in their own way and while the younger Winchester might not always agree with the way of coping his brother chose most of the time, he had to accept that it was how Dean did things. It also had to be said, that he was holding up amazingly well considering everything Sam had only just heard about.

The awkward silence between them returned full force. There was no easy way to recover from the topic they had just spoken about. As these things often went for them, the solution presented itself coincidentally.

The older Winchester was scratching his shoulder, drawing his brother’s eyes to the movement which also led to him seeing most of a clearly handprint shaped branding on Dean’s skin when the sleeve of his t-shirt moved up.

“You… uh… I never noticed…” Sam cleared his throat, scratching the side of his neck. He hadn’t considered it a minute ago, but now it looked like this might be the moment to come clean himself.

“Huh? Oh that,” Dean shrugged, following his brother’s gaze, “Apparently, Cas gripped a little too tight when he raised me from perdition.”

The older Winchester had never actually asked Castiel where the handprint had come from, but he was pretty sure that it was simply a side-effect of being dragged out of hell. It made sense and didn’t make Dean uncomfortable to think of it that way, anyway.

“Ah,” Sam replied ineloquently. Despite what their earlier conversation had been about he couldn’t help feeling a little amused. Granted, he had no idea if there were multiple things those marks might mean, but he knew for sure that there was at least one other thing they meant.

“Yeah, it’s strange, but I guess that’s what you get for having an angel rescuing your soul or something,” Dean muttered, getting close to being pissed off, because there obviously was something his younger brother didn’t say, or more precisely, there was something Sam thought was amusing about it.

“What’s so funny?” the older Winchester snapped when his brother continued to unsuccessfully try and act like nothing was up. Yeah, Dean had known Sam all his life, there was no way he couldn’t look through that. Not to mention that his brother had an all too expressive face at times. Poker-faces had never been Sammy’s strong suit.

“I got… I kinda got one of those, too,” the younger Winchester admitted, contemplating to show what could be seen of his own mark over the waistband of his jeans, but he supposed that that would only annoy Dean more.

“What?” the older Winchester asked incredulously. The questions ‘When?’, ‘How?’ and ‘Why? popped into his head immediately, but there was a pretty big chance that he actually didn’t want to know. Hell, he probably already knew too much and something told him that whatever Sam was about to say wouldn’t make it better.

“Yeah, apparently that’s what you get for getting involved with an angel.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean still wasn’t quite over the fact that the Trickster had marked his little brother, let alone that he himself had apparently been marked by an angel in a way that might mean more than he had previously assumed. To be fair though, he would have glared daggers at Gabriel even if Sam hadn’t dumped that certain piece of information on him, anyway.

“And here I thought I’d have to wait until after I tell you about the plan before Dean-o looks at me like that,” Gabriel quipped, ignoring the disapproving look his brother was shooting him. He wasn’t even trying to make himself believe that the plan he and Castiel had agreed on in the end would find much love or even acceptance with the other people present, but it was pretty much settled that they would go through with it, anyway.

“What plan?” Sam asked, already dreading the answer. With an introduction to the topic like the one the archangel had given them there was no chance at all that they were going to like what he had to say.

“We’re going to speak to Raphael,” the archangel answered with a casual shrug. Speaking to the other archangel was only the first step of course, but there was no use even talking about everything that would follow before they knew if they could get his assistance.

“Okay, hold it. Why are we planning your family reunion now? What about… oh, I don’t know… Lilith!?” Dean snarked. He realized that there probably was something concerning the demonic bitch included in the plan as well, but it looked like Gabriel wasn’t going to share with the class and that was simply unacceptable. If the douchebag thought that he didn’t have to explain anything to them and they’d just follow whatever he said blindly, he’d better think again!

“It seems that Lilith has gone into hiding,” Castiel replied, disdain clear in his tone, “She recently broke the sixty-fifth seal and is now bidding her time until the opportunity to finish what she started arises.”

There was silence in the room until the news sunk in. The truth was that none of them could have done much to prevent all those seals from breaking, but hearing how successful Lilith had been still made them feel like they had failed.

“Until she can get her hands on Sam, you mean,” Dean commented flatly. Sure, his younger brother had to be the one who broke the seal, but the older Winchester knew all too well that everyone could be driven to do pretty much everything.

“Basically, though it’s rather Sam who’d have to get his hands on her,” Gabriel stated, clearing his throat just a little awkwardly, because he had neglected to give them this last piece of information this far, “Lilith is the last seal. Killing her releases Lucifer.”

Sam blinked a couple of times after hearing that. To think that all he had wanted to do for weeks had been to kill Lilith, no matter the cost. Sure, he hadn’t known what might happen once he did then, but now that he did a shiver was running down his spine. There was no use denying that it would have been pretty damn easy to get him to kill the demon and he would have never even realized that he was playing into her hands with it.  
“That’s just great. We can’t even gank the bitch?” the older Winchester groaned. That was exactly the kind of bad news he had been waiting for.

“Oh, we can. He can’t,” Gabriel clarified. It wasn’t that hard to guess what the younger Winchester was thinking about and the archangel really would have liked to talk him out of blaming himself for things he hadn’t even done, but unfortunately this wasn’t the time or the place.

“Right, so again, why are you planning a meeting with the teenage mutant ninja angel when we could just focus on killing Lilith?” Dean insisted impatiently. He didn’t like having to ask for every little detail to be revealed. He wasn’t used to being the one who didn’t know anything, either. And he didn’t like it one little bit.

“Lilith is hiding, we won’t find her any more than she’d find us,” the archangel shot back. It was rather obvious that his patience with the older Winchester was nearing its end, as well. He didn’t particularly like being forced to go by the hunter’s pace. “The problem is that she has help. Help that goes up to the highest ranks of heaven and down to the lowest pits of hell. How long do you think we’re still going to be safe here?”

Hel’s face hardened at that, but she nodded reluctantly. Her place was heavily protected and hidden away between worlds, but that didn’t mean that nobody could ever find it. Even if they changed locations, it’d still only be a matter of time until they were found. Not to mention that neither the two Winchesters nor her two brothers were the sort of people who would stand having to hide away and stay inside all the time.

“It looks like her assistance comes from either Michael or Raphael,” Castiel chipped in, adding some information that he thought might get Dean to listen, “According to Uriel our commands came from Michael and Michael is the one who is destined to battle Lucifer. It is logical that he is the one who has the most to gain in this.”

It was Michael whose destiny was going to be fulfilled one way or the other as soon as Lucifer got to walk free again, after all. Having witnessed the grim determination with which the archangel had struck his brother down during their last battle, it also was safe to say that he was at least somewhat eager to end it once and for all.

“Besides, Raphael always was the more reasonable one,” Gabriel added with a definite nod. Granted, the standards for being sensible had been very low at the time he had left heaven, but the point still stood. It wasn’t like they had so many other options, anyway.

“Okay, let’s assume that you’re right, what’s going to keep him from smiting us all on sight?” the older Winchester wanted to know. At this point they were a group of fugitives and traitors, realistically spoken, so their chances to survive long enough to even begin to explain what this was all about seemed slim at best.

“Simple,” the archangel replied, “You won’t be there.”

The protests against that statement were immediate and vocal. In fact, Castiel was the only one who was neither yelling nor gesticulating madly and that was most likely due to the fact that he already knew that he was the one who was meant to come along. By the looks of it the others were catching on to that little detail, as well.

“That’s not fair! Why can’t we go? The humans I get. Sorry, but you two are too vulnerable,” Hel argued hotly, “But what about us?”

Both Dean and Sam had a few things to say about that, but they didn’t get a chance to voice their objections before the archangel raised his hand and stopped anyone from saying anything more with it.

“You are staying here too, Hel,” Gabriel commanded, softening his voice a little a second later, “I need someone to watch out for them.”

Knowing both Winchesters they’d really need a babysitter to make sure that they really stayed out of trouble, too. There was no way to tell what kinds of trouble they could get in only by trying to escape this place, after all. The archangel was pretty sure that knowing that they were just as likely to end up in the underworld as they were to get back to Earth wouldn’t mean much to them when push came to shove.

“Besides Raphael would probably try to kill us just for being nephilim,” Jörmungandr snorted, “Your try to protect us from the facts of life comes a little late.”

Gabriel huffed out a laugh that failed to sound amused, even though he shook his head fondly. “As long as my try to keep your asses alive doesn’t come too late, I’m strangely okay with that.”


	33. Chapter 33

**33**

 

 

Castiel might have been involved in the planning process, but that didn’t mean that he expected their try to summon Raphael to go over well. At the same time he couldn’t deny that he was excited, however. Before Gabriel he had never spoken to an archangel in person. In fact, most of the seraphs he knew had never had that honor.

Sure, all of them had seen them from afar at one point or another, but especially after Lucifer and his followers had been cast down from Heaven they had only heard of the commands given to them by either Michael or Raphael through others.

Castiel had often wondered, if things had always been that way, but they had never noticed this much before Gabriel had left. The messenger had liked to mingle with the seraphs and even lower ranks quite a bit and even though not everyone had ever spoken to him or seen him up close his presence had been felt by all of them.

“I have never spoken to Raphael before,” the angel finally broke the silence that had fallen between him and his brother after they had started to prepare the summoning ritual. They had a lot of sigils to paint and for some reason Gabriel had insisted that they had to do it by hand. Castiel suspected that the archangel was nervous about meeting Raphael again after all this time as well and was stalling a little. The fact that he had been uncharacteristically silent the entire time supported that theory, as well. Not that Castiel would have lost a word about it.

“You don’t have to now, either. I wouldn’t blame you, if you wanted to call quits,” Gabriel replied with a shrug. He had come up with the plan and had more or less forced his brother to go along with it, so he had to go through with it. Castiel had an out here and if he wanted to take it, the archangel would respect that.

“I have made my choice,” the younger angel answered matter-of-factly.

“Help me out here, Castiel. What exactly did you choose?” Gabriel asked in the same tone he might have used with a little kid who he assumed didn’t know better. Damn, that was exactly what Castiel was in some respects, too. The seraph had always been under someone’s command, so who could blame the archangel for questioning, if he really knew what making a choice even meant?

“I chose to be on Dean’s side in this and if it so happens to be the side you are on as well, all the better,” Castiel said with so much conviction in his tone that the archangel immediately felt stupid for asking. It looked like he hadn’t given his younger brother enough credit there.

“It’s a shame we never got to talk in the old days,” Gabriel smiled slightly. There definitely was more than met the eye about Castiel and getting to the bottom of that would have been fascinating. Then again, as things in Heaven had been, especially shortly before the archangel had taken his leave, showing too much potential for independence would have only gotten the other angel into trouble.

“Why did you leave Heaven, brother?” Castiel wanted to know, fixing the soul-searching stare he obviously had mastered since taking his vessel – the intensely blue eyes of the guy sure helped with that, too – on the archangel.

Gabriel sighed and stopped drawing the sigil he had been working at, sitting on one of the old chairs that were still littered around the warehouse. He had expected to hear that question. In fact, he had originally thought that this would be one of the first things he’d ever hear Castiel say to him. Even though it was quite likely that the other angel hadn’t exactly planned it, Gabriel had to give him credit for choosing the very moment he hadn’t expected it to bring the topic up at last.

“I guess we have enough time for this talk now,” the archangel shrugged, gesturing to one of the other chairs, “Take a seat. You’re making me uncomfortable just standing around there.”

Castiel cocked his head with a slight frown, but complied. To tell the truth, he had noticed that Gabriel seemed to prefer sticking to human behavior patterns even when it was just the two of them talking before. While this puzzled the seraph, he also didn’t see anything wrong with it, however.

“You were still so young then. Hell, we all were, if not in years then in experience,” Gabriel began to speak in a surprisingly soft tone once they were both seated, “I remember how all of you guys looked up to us like we were something special, like we knew all the answers. Oh, we did for the most part, too. After all, father was speaking to us, we could always ask Him what to do and what to tell you whenever we didn’t know ourselves.”

Really, they had had it pretty easy during those days. The belief that their father was infallible had been and still was deeply ingrained in every single angel, so there had never been a reason to doubt that He was leading them wrong.

“The thing is – and I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Castiel – God hasn’t been speaking to any of us for a very long time,” the archangel sighed, “Believe me, if He had been back on the air, I would know.”

Of course, Gabriel had shut angel radio out completely after he had left Heaven, but the voice of God came in over a different frequency – so to say – anyway. Some might have called him self-centered because of it, but there was no fiber of his being that believed that their father wouldn’t have let him hear of his return. Oh, he was pretty sure that he would get spanked for everything he had done once God reappeared, but he would definitely be informed.

“I don’t understand,” Castiel replied with a deep frown. Of course, the seraphs got their orders from Michael or Raphael, but the archangels got theirs from God. It was one of the facts of angelic life that Castiel had never questioned, too.

“You understand more than you think, brother,” Gabriel said nearly apologetically, “God left us to it right around the time Lucifer went from questioning everything to getting outright violent. The truth is the entire war and Lucifer being cast down were a result of father suddenly leaving the hard decisions to us and us alone.”

There was no way to tell how exactly things would have gone, if they had still had God to guide them, but the archangel liked to believe that their father could have prevented things from escalating as much as they did. Maybe the Morningstar wouldn’t have had to fall quite as deep as he did, maybe a lot of angels wouldn’t have had to die, maybe all of this was just wishful thinking that wasn’t doing anything but make Gabriel melancholic whenever his thoughts went into that direction.

“Lucifer of course was the only one of us who had already practiced making difficult choices and Michael was quick to just try and keep things the way they had always been, the way he thought he knew God would have done them,” the archangel went on speaking in a flat tone that gave away how deeply hurt he still was over all these things better than any overly emotional way of speaking could have, “Raphael decided to take his place at Michael’s side, as you know.”

Gabriel remembered all too well how Michael had tried to convince him that Lucifer’s insolence had led to their father deciding to test their loyalty. The oldest archangel had been sure that God wanted to see, if they would follow his example and do things as He would have done them Himself. Raphael of course had agreed with Michael’s reasoning.

Ironically, Lucifer had tried to convince Gabriel more than once that their father was giving them the opportunity to make changes, that He was allowing them to form His creation however they saw fit from that point on.

If he was being completely honest, the archangel had to say that he wasn’t sure how much of what his brothers had said then had only been essentially the same bullshit that human politicians tried to get people on their side with, but it hadn’t really mattered, either way.

“However, I couldn’t decide. I was father’s messenger, Castiel, my one job was to go and tell others what He had told me to tell them and then He didn’t tell me anything anymore,” Gabriel admitted with a crooked smile, “And I knew them all so well. I understood where they were coming from, too. Honoring father’s wishes had always been the most important thing for us, but Lucifer was raising valid concerns about the way things were going and a lot of the seraphs saw it, too.”

The war had seemed inevitable at that point, but Gabriel had still been waiting and hoping for God to return, even though that would have meant that a good portion of all angels would have been punished for going against his wishes. Of course, nothing alike had happened.

“So, your decision was not to make a decision,” Castiel concluded. He knew that they story was going to end with Gabriel running away from Heaven, so he already had all the facts he needed to make an educated guess.

“One of the first big choices I ever made completely by myself,” Gabriel confirmed, “And ironically, it forced me to make a lot of decisions soon afterward.”

Neither one of them said anything more after that. The archangel knew that he had just dumped a lot of information on his brother and that he had to give him some time to process everything.

“I find it gets easier with time,” Castiel spoke, breaking the awkward silence between them.

The hardest part about his choice to stand by Dean’s side had been the moment when the things that the older Winchester had needed had been different from his original orders, but after choosing to bend the rules and go behind his superiors backs for the first time, it had become easier to do the same again later on.

“Oh, it absolutely does and there are definitely perks to it,” the archangel agreed and added, grinning, “We really need to have that birds and the bees talk soon, Cassy.”

The angel didn’t seem exceptionally excited by that prospect, but he wasn’t showing any signs of protest, either. Chances were that he simply wasn’t completely sure what exactly Gabriel had just suggested, though.

“Come on, let’s get it over with,” Gabriel finally stated in a nearly upbeat tone, patting his brother’s knee as he stood up to resume drawing again, “Raphael won’t call himself.”

 

* * *

 

 

“What do we have here?”Raphael’s voice boomed through the abandoned warehouse, “A long lost brother and the seraph who disappeared right around the time Uriel got killed.”

It wasn’t every day that the archangel got summoned, but being summoned by two brothers who had every reason to go on staying hidden was definitely a first.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Gabriel replied with a cocky smile, “Also, hold your horses, brother. Castiel had nothing to do with that. That was all me.”

Looking at the cold greeting they had received, the archangel wasn’t sure if it would make a difference to his brother which one of them had killed Uriel, but he still didn’t intend to let Raphael think that the seraph had done it. Besides, only mentioning the traitor made Gabriel feel angry all over again. There definitely were no regrets about killing the bastard who had hurt his daughter and tried to harm his sons and lover.

“Uriel betrayed us,” Castiel stated, careful to keep the right amount of respect in his voice as he spoke, “He has been furthering Lilith’s plans.”

The angel was pretty sure that he had made a good point with what he had just said, too. Even assuming that the second archangel wanted to stay at Michael’s side, hearing that one of his subordinates had teamed up with a demon should make him think.

“Is that so?” Raphael asked with a slight frown, stepping toward them with deliberate steps.

Intuition or gut-feeling, as Dean called it, was another one of those things Castiel had not gotten used to yet, but he knew that he didn’t like how this was going. He wasn’t sure what exactly Gabriel had expected the other archangel to say or do and of course it had been highly unlikely that Raphael would be overjoyed to see them, but Castiel couldn’t help feelings like they had made a great mistake.

The angel actually contemplated drawing his blade. Any kind of offensive action would definitely end the conversation, however. He had to be completely sure that the archangel wouldn’t join their side under any circumstances before he could take action.

“He definitely tried to... influence the vessels, to say it nicely,” Gabriel huffed, giving Castiel a sign they had agreed on earlier to step down and relax. He knew that his brother would have a hard time with the relaxing part – it was doubtful that he even knew the meaning of the word – but he definitely shouldn’t make any rash decisions just yet.

“I trust you took them under your protection,” Raphael assumed, nodding along satisfied when the other archangel gave a tight affirmative nod, “Good. We are going to need both of them.”

At this point Castiel was finding it increasingly hard to follow his brother’s lead and stay somewhat calm. Everything about Raphael was rubbing him the wrong way that moment and even though Castiel wasn’t a violent being by any stretch of imagination, he really wanted to attack the archangel.

“Yeah, about that,” Gabriel replied his flippant attitude definitely more forced than natural, “Not going to happen.”

There was one thing the archangel was completely sure about: Lucifer couldn’t have Sam, no matter what. Even if he should get out of his cage, even if the Apocalypse should be started, even if for some inconceivable reason Dean should give Michael his consent, Lucifer couldn’t have Sam. Gabriel suspected that the younger Winchester would give him a hard time about his attitude, if he ever caught on to that line of thinking, but Sam belonged to him and only to him.

“It’s not like you got a say in the matter, Gabriel,” Raphael retorted in an icy tone. Not that what he had said surprised either one of his brothers at that point.

Castiel had his blade drawn before the archangel could even make one more step toward either one of them, but a flick of Raphael’s wrist sent him flying into the closest wall regardless.

“Dammit, had a fifty-fifty chance and bet on the wrong horse,” Gabriel snarked, even as Raphael was advancing on him.

The fight or flight instinct was something angels and humans definitely had in common, though angels definitely were better with controlling those impulses, most of them were, anyway. It was too bad that taking flight was by far too likely to lead Raphael right back to their hideout.

Castiel obviously had come to the same conclusion, as he was charging again as soon as he managed to get back to his feet. He had hoped that Raphael was focused on Gabriel to an extent that would allow him to get close enough to deal the killing blow, but the archangel had obviously anticipated the move. This time Raphael didn’t throw him against any walls, instead he quickly stepped aside, avoiding the blade and dealt a hard blow to Castiel’s back that caused the angel to crumple to the floor.

“What the hell did you do?” Gabriel yelled, enraged, as he knelt next to the seraph who hadn’t gotten back to his feet, even though the punch alone shouldn’t have kept him down like this.

“I’m a healer, Gabriel, I know exactly how to piece any of you back together,” Raphael commented, watching the scene in front of him with cold eyes, “Of course, I also know how to take you apart.”

Gabriel had never had to fight against another archangel, so he definitely lacked the experience, but he had more than enough determination to throw himself against his brother. The powers of two archangels getting unleashed and clashing with each other was enough to immediately cause big cracks in the concrete walls and floor and there was no doubt that the entire damn building would have come down on them within seconds, if Raphael hadn’t ended their fight embarrassingly quickly by slamming his palm against Gabriel’s chest and giving him a taste of what exactly he had done to Castiel.

The other archangel didn’t go down the way the seraph had, but the feeling of every last trace of his grace being electrocuted was no less overwhelming for him.

“You always were the weak one,” Raphael snorted, getting a good grip on Gabriel’s hair before he added, “You’re going to regret you ever reappeared soon enough.”

The other archangel had been about to give a scathing reply to that, something not even the pain he was in could have kept him from, but Raphael effectively knocked him out before he could utter even one syllable.

It was nearly too bad that Castiel still had a purpose to fulfill and had to be kept alive, but chances for them meeting again very shortly were very high, so Raphael didn’t feel too bad when he allowed the seraph to get back to his senses.

“Make sure to tell the vessels that I will send Gabriel back to them in pieces, if they don’t meet me here tomorrow at exactly this time,” the archangel spoke in a casual tone mere moments before he disappeared, taking Gabriel with him.

Castiel allowed himself a moment of weakness in which he just slumped against the concrete floor again.


	34. Chapter 34

**34**

 

By the time Castiel managed to get back to Hel’s place the aftereffects of Raphael’s attack had mostly vanished. The angel knew that the archangel had only let him get away without any lasting damage done, because in the end he didn’t pose a threat to him.

“Cas?” Dean asked when Castiel just stood in the middle of the room quietly for a few moments, “What the hell happened to you, man?”

The older Winchester was a little relieved to see that there obviously were no bloody wounds involved, but something was clearly wrong, nevertheless. The absence of a certain annoying trickster god gave Dean some ideas of what had gone down at the meeting with the teenage mutant ninja angel, too. Damn, he really hoped that the worst case scenario his mind had immediately supplied him with wasn’t the one they’d have to deal with. Not that he’d be particularly sad about the Trickster’s demise, but there were Gabriel’s three children who’d clearly not share his attitude and of course there was also Sam.

“Where’s Gabriel?” the younger Winchester asked, looking like his mind had given him the same idea his brother had come up with as well.

Dean winced slightly. He had seen Sam look like this before – hell, too often before – and it wasn’t a look he liked on his younger brother. To be fair, they both had lost people who had meant a lot to them over the years, but there was no use denying that Sam had even worse luck in that respect than his brother had.

“Where is our father?” Hel finally demanded in a sharp tone when Castiel still couldn’t find his voice to give them any sort of information. Under different circumstances, she would have been more susceptible to the angel’s discomfort and possible distress, but the situation was quickly becoming unbearable. To be honest, the only thing keeping her from literally shaking her uncle – and regretting it afterward – was Jörmungandr’s hand on her shoulder and Fenrir’s paw on her foot.

“Raphael took him. He is behind all of this,” Castiel replied, his eyes downcast until he too felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up surprised to find Dean looking back at him.

Sam’s shoulders sagged with relief. If Raphael had kidnapped Gabriel that meant that the archangel was still alive. Granted, the situation could still change any moment, but chances were that the other archangel wanted to use him as a bargaining chip. Hel and her brothers seemed to have come to the same conclusion which didn’t do all too much for their mood, but it gave them a little hope, at least.

“Okay, what happened exactly, Cas?” Dean prompted before any of the others could. It looked like he was the one around who was in the best position to more or less neutrally analyze their situation. Not to mention that – and wasn’t that a strange thing to say – he was the one who wasn’t too upset to be careful about the way he spoke to Castiel.

“Raphael expressed a too great interest in you and Sam,” the angel explained, starting with the one thing that had made him suspicious immediately, “I am certain Gabriel saw it as well as he let Raphael know that he wouldn’t give you up to him.”

The older Winchester was pretty sure that the archangel wouldn’t have had much of a problem with giving him up to pretty much anyone, but he pushed that thought away and simply nodded.

“Raphael used a power I never knew he possessed against us and it allowed him to abduct Gabriel as well,” Castiel finished, his eyes downcast once more, “He demands that you and Sam meet him tomorrow at exactly 5 p.m. unless you want Gabriel sent back to you in pieces.”

Dean hissed silently. Of course, their angelic friend had only repeated things exactly as they had been said to him, but the older Winchester strongly suspected that a different wording would have been better in that case. He got his suspicion confirmed just a moment later. The outraged outcries weren’t exactly a surprise, that they only came from the three pagans while Sam continued to stare ahead with the sort of intensity that never failed to make Dean very uncomfortable was, however.

“I am going,” the younger Winchester stated silently, but sounding more determined and dangerous than he would have, if he had yelled. There was no way he would allow anyone to take a loved one from him again. They had taken their mother, they had taken Jessica and their father and they had even taken Dean before, but this was where all this ended.

“Of course we are,” Dean agreed, noticing that next to him Castiel nodded, as well.

What the older Winchester didn’t say – and tried not even to think about – was that he pretty much had to come to make sure that Sam didn’t do anything he’d regret afterward. There was no use denying that it sometimes scared Dean when his younger brother got into the mindset he obviously was in. The single-minded focus on either getting revenge, saving someone or both he got whenever it was about a person close to his heart made him willing to cross lines he wouldn’t consider crossing otherwise and it could also make him very reckless, too. The older Winchester wouldn’t mind saving Gabriel – hell, he actually wanted to save him – but most of all he wanted to keep his brother safe, even if he had to keep him safe from himself.

“The bastard is going down,” Fenrir added with a grim smile. Being mostly a pacifist didn’t mean that he wouldn’t strike back, if he and especially his family was attacked. Sure, they’d have to learn more about that unexpected power Castiel had spoken about and they’d have to be very careful, but between the six of them they sure were a force to reckon with.

“Yes, he is,” Sam nodded before he gave all three pagans a nearly apologetic look, “But you’re not coming.”

The younger Winchester couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it had happened, but he was feeling protective over Gabriel’s children and he had already gotten Hel into trouble before. He wasn’t going to add the other two to the list, if he could help it.

“Yes, we are!” Hel exclaimed immediately. The prospect of being left behind yet again was upsetting enough to make the goddess’ hair stand on end, quite literally. It took Fenrir bumping his head against her leg for her to notice that she was basically crackling with barely restrained power. She quickly let go of it afterward. There was no use wasting any power that she’d need later on, after all.

“Gabriel said that he wanted to keep you safe,” the younger Winchester argued. It had been one of the last things the archangel had said when they had last seen him that he wanted his kids to stay away and he wasn’t going to drag them into anything Gabriel wouldn’t have wanted them to be involved in.

“Real cute. You can play step-dad some other time,” Jörmungandr chuckled humorlessly, “Besides, what do you think his thoughts on you presenting yourself on a silver platter would be?”

It wasn’t like Gabriel hadn’t told both Winchesters to stay away as well, after all. If they were already disregarding their father’s wishes, they might as well go all the way with it. Not to mention that Jörmungandr generally wasn’t really giving a damn about any commands his father gave him, if he didn’t stay close enough to actually zap his ass with some minor electric current for disobeying.

“That’s different, we have to go,” Sam pointed out. The demands Raphael had made were clear enough, so both Winchesters going was the part that wasn’t up for discussion.

“And we want to go,” Hel insisted again. Under different circumstances she could have appreciated what the younger Winchester was trying to do, but as things were it was only frustrating to have to argue a point they shouldn’t have to argue about. Dammit, as much as they were Loki’s children and would always be Loki’s children, they also were adults who could make their own decisions!

“It is a matter of choice,” Castiel spoke in a thoughtful voice. None of the others knew what he and Gabriel had been talking about before the other archangel had shown up, but the entire discussion the others were having that moment reminded the angel a lot of that talk. He wasn’t sure what his brother would have thought of it, but Castiel decided that he would defend his niece and nephews’ right to choose whatever they thought the right thing to do was.

“Damn straight, uncle Cas!” Jörmungandr voiced his approval. At least the angel acknowledged that they didn’t need anyone else to tell them what they had to do. Not that the human really had a chance to keep them from anything, if it came down to it.

“Sam, you’re a member of this family now and there’s something you really need to know about us,” Fenrir quickly said before the younger Winchester could come up with any other arguments that spoke for them staying away, “We’re stubborn, we’re reckless and we’ll never again let anyone make one of us bleed without making them bleed in turn.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m so taking you off my Christmas mailing list,” Gabriel panted. After the hours he had already spent being tortured by Raphael’s hands the snarking wasn’t exactly heartfelt anymore. He really thought he should balance the satisfaction his brother gained every time he screamed out with the annoyance his flippant comments caused, however.

The bindings the other archangel had used to strap him into the chair he was sitting on were meant for ordinary angels rather than the higher ranks, but with Raphael’s continued attacks against his grace, Gabriel would be lucky to get out of them by himself, even if his brother left him alone to heal for a while.

“I have heard a number of interesting rumors,” the older archangel finally spoke, completely ignoring all the stupid jokes and quips his brother had thrown at his head before which was just as well, because Gabriel had only intended to use them to get a rise out of Raphael and not to start an actual discussion. “Tell me, brother, are any of them true?”

“I don’t know what sort of magazines you read, but I really don’t think that Lady Gaga is an alien bent on world domination,” Gabriel replied with a smirk that was quickly wiped off his face when the other man slammed his palm against his chest once more. Without the peace and quiet to do an in-depth analysis of his injuries he couldn’t be sure, but what Raphael was doing felt dangerously close to chipping off bits and pieces of the archangel’s grace. Oh, it was nothing that wouldn’t heal again – Raphael didn’t possess that kind of power – but it would take time, especially since those stupid handcuffs were still doing their best to keep his grace contained.

“Okay, okay!” Gabriel wheezed as soon as he got a chance to catch his breath again, “It’s true. I officially hate your guts!”

There was little doubt what sort of rumors Raphael was referring to. In fact, there were only two the archangel would be interested in. The one would concern Gabriel’s second identity and the other one would concern his relationship with Sam. He wasn’t willing to lose a word about either one, in any case. The fact that his older brother obviously wanted to know was reason enough to keep his mouth shut, anyway.

“There is talk of this being running with the pagan gods who has taken a shine to Lucifer’s vessel,” Raphael explained casually, running his fingers through his brother’s hair before he grabbed some of it and pulled his head back, so he had to look at him.

The rumors had started around the time Sam Winchester had disappeared for the first time, but he had been back with his older brother before anyone had found any evidence. In the end, the investigations of what had happened had taken a backseat to getting the greater plan back on track under the changed circumstances.

The second time the younger Winchester had suddenly disappeared the evidence had been clear enough. Sure, Gabriel had tried to cover his tracks, but Raphael had already heard of Hel’s involvement and that had led him to take a closer look at Loki. It hadn’t been that hard to see through the ruse, once you knew what to look for, really. It was saying a lot about how obsolete those so called gods were that they obviously hadn’t been able to see the archangel for what he was.

“Raph, have you seen the guy? Whoever doesn’t want a piece of that doesn’t have a single sexual bone in-” Gabriel never even had the chance to add how Sam was actually quite lucky that most monsters just wanted to kill him not mate him, because the other archangel chose that very moment to scrape off another piece of his already damaged grace. ‘Doesn’t let others finish speaking’ went to the rapidly growing list of reasons why Gabriel hated his older brother. It wasn’t exactly a comforting thought, but if Raphael really got him to the point where he just couldn’t come up with any witty remarks anymore, he could at least start to recite that list.

“You might as well admit it, Gabriel,” the archangel whispered into his brother’s ear while the younger archangel was desperately trying to get his breath back, undoubtedly so he could make another one of his stupid jokes, “It hardly matters anymore. He is not going to evade his destiny any longer, either way.”

If Gabriel had known that breaking into loud laughter was the surefire way to really get to Raphael, he would have done it earlier, even though his brother’s retaliation made him feel like his grace was actually being torn into pieces. The laughing gave way to screaming very quickly because of that, but Gabriel still managed to put the somewhat cruelly amused smirk on his face before he spoke, “You don’t know anything about the Winchesters, do you?”

The only reason angels and demons had been able to play the Winchester family as well as they had this far was that none of them had ever known about the bigger picture before. Hell, if Mary Campbell had known what her making the deal to save John’s life would mean for her future husband and children she wouldn’t have gone along with it. In the very least she wouldn’t have been unprepared when Azazel had shown up. The archangel was by no means sure that she would have sucked it up and accepted that she had to live on without her parents and her lover, but he was pretty damn sure that she would have blown her own brains out before she would have allowed any of those things to happen.

“I told them everything,” Gabriel spat, still smirking, “Sam knows that he can’t touch Lilith!”

Of course, Sam had his faults – which the archangel had tried to show him before – but he wasn’t going to let the entire world go to waste over his wish to kill that one specific demon. That also meant that they would need to get rid of her in another way. If only Raphael would leave him alone for a little while, he could have come up with a plan. Hell, he could have at least started to try and scrape off the sigils that gave the handcuffs the power to inconvenience him as they did. Those things, as previously mentioned, weren’t meant for archangels, so even in his weakened state he should be able to render them useless. There was no chance that he could even make the slightest move into that direction before Raphael was gone, though.

“Your faith in them is foolish, even for your standards,” the other archangel replied coldly. The human would play his role perfectly, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he would need a push or a couple of pushes into the right direction, but he wouldn’t be able to resist his destiny and his nature forever. Luckily, they already had the perfect means to give the younger Winchester the shove he’d need, too.

Gabriel took a deep breath and steeled himself for his brother’s reaction before he decided that there really was nothing more to add to that topic and started to talk again. “Reasons for hating Raphael, work in progress. Number one: Didn’t even give me and Castiel a proper greeting. Number two: is a traitorous bastard. Number three: Has no sense of humor.”

He didn’t get any further – to be honest, he was surprised he had even gotten that far – before Raphael’s bored demeanor switched to unconcealed cruelty. Knowing that the pain was coming didn’t do anything to make it easier to stand, but Gabriel was way beyond caring how pathetically he screamed and that at least allowed him to let some of it out.

“He’s ready for you to play with now,” Raphael stated, letting go of his brother who immediately slumped forward for a few long moments before he could pull himself together enough to even sit upright again. The older archangel had other things to care for now, but he had done enough damage to his brother to make sure that he wouldn’t be able to do anything or go anywhere for – realistically spoken – much longer than they’d need him to stay put. Not to mention that he was leaving him to the tender loving care of someone who’d know how to make sure that he didn’t heal any faster.

Gabriel knew that this again meant trouble and a world of pain for him, but at least Raphael was finally leaving and that also meant that he could find the right angle to start scratching at the sigils binding his powers. He had by no means finished the recite his reasons for hating his brother, but the new developments called for a different kind of snarky comment.

“Aww, aren’t you cute?” the archangel basically cooed at the little blonde girl approaching him, her milky white eyes fixed on him, “What a precious little bitch straight from hell.”

Lilith only smiled.


	35. Chapter 35

**35**

 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Lilith asked in a childish tone that didn’t sound natural, even though she was using a little girl who couldn’t have been older than seven as a meatsuit, “I’m sure you do.”

The way she grabbed the bright pink plastic tea cup and basically forced the archangel to have a drink of black tea without even a hint of sugar or honey in it – which was the biggest crime about this – was eerily reminiscent of a young girl, however.

The demon, of course, had started with thoroughly testing, if Gabriel was as defenseless as Raphael had promised her that he would be. She hadn’t exactly been surprised to find that the older archangel had kept his side of the bargain, though. They both knew that their time working together was nearly up and they both knew how it had to end which was the only reason why they had been able to work together in the first place. Their common goal didn’t allow either one of them to cross the other, after all.

After Lilith had succeeded with making the bound archangel before her scream nearly as prettily as he had while his older brother had still been working on him, she had decided that it was about time to have fun of another kind with her new toy. It didn’t look like torturing his physical form was bothering him all that much, so she was going to dedicate some time to find out what really made him tick.

“Oh please, can we get back to the torture?” Gabriel commented in a mocking tone as soon as he had swallowed the last of the tea, “This is worse!”

The real purpose behind the game Lilith had just started hadn’t revealed itself to the archangel yet, but he was pretty sure that forcing him to drink something somewhat bitter and slightly too hot wasn’t the endgame here. It was unnerving him a little already, however. Gabriel wasn’t exactly a patient person, which meant that having to wait for something to happen when he didn’t know when exactly that was going to be was hard for him. Of course, there was also the fact that he had made pretty good process with scratching one of the key sigils off the handcuffs that bound him to the chair while Lilith had been too busy torturing him to pay attention to any small movements his fingers might make. Alright, in all honesty, Gabriel didn’t know how far he had gotten with the sigils yet, but the way the fingers he had used for the scratching were alternatively numb and hurting told him that he was meddling with the binding magic in some way.

“You’re no fun, uncle Gabriel,” Lilith pouted, fixing her piercing blue eyes on the archangel before she spoke on in a rather menacing tone, “And it really would be better for you to keep me entertained.”

Not that playing tea-party would have been fun for long, even if he had chosen to humor her. Actually, it would have stopped being fun the moment Gabriel would have played along willingly. As things were forcing increasingly hot mouthfuls of tea down his throat was still somewhat amusing.

“You know, I see the hellish bitch first and the little girl second, right?” the archangel huffed, raising an eyebrow. He considered spitting the stupid tea back at Lilith just for the heck of it, but there was nothing he could gain by doing that, not that he could see yet, anyway. Besides, the demon being busy with her game distracted her enough so he could very carefully and slowly resume his scratching.

Gabriel was pretty sure that he would be able to smite Lilith, if only he got out of the binds holding him. He wasn’t exactly sure what effects using his somewhat shredded grace with enough force to kill one of the highest ranking demons would have on him, but whatever would happen would be preferable to the things that would be going down, if they somehow succeeded in making Sam the one to kill Lilith. He really believed that the younger Winchester was strong enough to withstand whatever manipulation tactics they had come up with, but why allow them to put the man he loved to the test when he could just handle the situation himself.

“Would you like to change that?” Lilith asked in a sing-song voice that would no doubt become annoying very quickly.

“No, thanks,” Gabriel replied casually, “You’re like a car-accident, honey. Ugly and horrible but impossible to look away from. Wouldn’t want to miss a second.”

The demon didn’t make it a habit to take a backseat and let her meatsuit have some play time, but no matter how nonchalant the archangel acted, it wasn’t that hard to see that having to deal with the little girl Lilith had taken over would bother him much more than anything else she had done to him, yet.

There were a lot of swear words that sprang to Gabriel’s mind as he watched the demon pull back just enough to let the girl she had possessed have some breathing space, so to say. He bit his tongue and didn’t say anything, however. At that moment, whatever choice words he might have said would have been heard by the kid first and the demon second.

In the end, the girl didn’t say anything either and only looked at the archangel with big, scared eyes before she broke into tears, her entire body shaking with the intensity of her sobs.

“It’s gonna be okay, Sweetheart. It’ll be okay,” Gabriel stated in a soothing tone. Yes, he was lying to the kid, but what was he supposed to tell the poor girl? ‘Sorry, kiddo, you’re screwed, but if you’re lucky you’ll at least be dead soon.’ Not going to happen. He was feeling bad enough for her as things were. It didn’t help that despite her bright blue eyes and blond hair the girl reminded him of a time when Hel had been that little.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” the archangel tried when the kid didn’t stop crying. He wasn’t exactly in a good position to comfort her, but maybe he could distract her just a little instead.

“Mine’s Gabriel,” he added when the girl looked at him, tears still running over her cheeks, but still didn’t say anything, “I know, good girls don’t talk to strangers, but you know my name now, so I’m not a total stranger anymore, right?”

Okay, he had used some pretty bad logic there, but kids fell for things like that often enough. He also hoped that the fact that he obviously couldn’t get out of the chair he was sitting on would help with making him look nonthreatening. Not that he had ever had much of a problem with appearing as too threatening to people, unless he had chosen to.

“She hurt you,” the girl whispered. She still hadn’t said her name, but at least they were getting somewhere. Unfortunately, it was pretty damn clear that Lilith had allowed her to be aware of at least some of the things the demon had done using her body.

“Nah,” Gabriel replied dismissively, “Not a scratch on good old me. Come on, take a look.”

On the outside his vessel looked pretty much unharmed, maybe more disheveled and worn down than he ever looked otherwise, but other than that unharmed. He really didn’t have to tell her that the wounds she couldn’t see were the ones that hurt like a bitch. The archangel realized that he was playing along with Lilith’s game here, but as long as the little girl was running the show he’d suck it up and play nice. When – not if – he got free, he could still make the damn demon pay for everything she had done.

The blonde girl stepped closer and eyed Gabriel critically. She wasn’t quite sure if the adult had told her the truth, but there really weren’t any scratches or other wounds she could see. Unfortunately, the relief was very short lived, as a memory that felt hazy around the edges and overall unreal, like it was of a nightmare, popped into her head.

“She hurt mommy and daddy!” managed between sobs. Her voice was close to unintelligible, but the archangel didn’t have too many troubles understanding what she was saying, anyway. A crying kid wasn’t much harder to understand than a platypus, really.

“I’m so sorry, Sweetie,” Gabriel sighed. His heart was breaking for the girl and while he knew that that was exactly what Lilith wanted once more, there was nothing he could have done against it, either.

The archangel had kept his fists balled for most of the time he had been trapped, because it gave him the cover he needed for the light but constant scratching his thumbs had done against the sigils that gave his bonds their power, but he felt he had to abandon his mission in favor of extending his hand toward the girl as far as it would go. He couldn’t exactly offer a hug, but holding her hand wasn’t out of the question.

“Can you tell me your name now?” Gabriel asked in a soft tone after she had managed to calm down a little again. He still kept stroking over the back of her hand with his thumb which luckily only felt but didn’t look like it might fall off any second. Going up against ancient binding magic with your bare hands wasn’t exactly advisable, as it turned out.

“Callie,” the girl answered, hiccupping a couple of times as an aftereffect of all the crying she had done before.

“I have a sister with that name. She’s a really tough girl, very brave, just like you,” Gabriel replied with a smile, “Think you can be brave for a little while longer?”

Callie looked a bit panicked at the prospect of having to hold on any longer, but she still nodded ever so slightly. The archangel squeezed her hand and smiled encouragingly.

“That was heartwarming,” Lilith grinned, her milky white eyes replacing Callie’s blue ones once more for a few moments as she took over again. The demon’s eyes had played a main role in Sam’s worst nightmares for quite some time and Gabriel couldn’t help thinking that he might have a few of those himself in the future.

 

* * *

 

 

As it turned out, there was this substance called holy oil that could help them in the most likely upcoming battle against Raphael. Unfortunately, two thirds of their group and the person they were trying to rescue could be severely harmed or even killed by the stuff, however. Granted, none of them were sure what exactly holy fire would do to the three nephilim, but they couldn’t exactly take chances there. Not when it was all too likely that Gabriel’s three children would suffer the same consequences as any full-blown angel, if they got into contact with it.

Of course, they still had prepared a circle of the stuff just in case they’d actually get a chance to trap Raphael in it, but they knew that they were much more likely to use the other weapons they had at their disposal. Not that any of them would do all that much to the archangel as Castiel had pointed out helpfully.

Dean probably was worst off, holding the demon killing knife that was already proven not to do anything against even an ordinary angel. However, there was a chance that demons, or one demon specifically, would show up and Sam obviously couldn’t be the one to go up against her, if that happened.

The holy oil Molotov cocktail – interestingly enough a brain child of Castiel – the younger Winchester had in his hands was guaranteed to do at least some damage to Raphael. He’d first have to get a good opportunity to even use it without endangering any member of their own team, however.

The Winchesters weren’t quite sure what exactly the three pagans brought to the fight, but there was no use denying that they were powerful beings in their own right, so chances were that they didn’t need actual weapons. In fact, all three of them had assured them that their hands and paws – or rather jaws – in Fenrir’s case were all the weapons they needed.

Castiel, of course, had his angel blade drawn. He had also made sure to stress how getting in direct contact with Raphael should be avoided, if they could. Whatever power the archangel had used to bring Castiel and Gabriel to their knees the last time they had encountered him seemed to rely on touch. It was just their luck that all the weapons they had were close range, with the possible exception of the holy oil Molotov cocktail.

“Feels like somebody should say something,” Jörmungandr commented after a few moments of heavy silence. They were done with the few preparations they had had to make and they still had a couple of minutes, if the archangel was punctual.

“What? Like, ‘Just in case we’re all going to be dead in under an hour; I love you, guys’?” Hel asked with a small smirk. Death didn’t actually scare her too much, even though she knew that the underworld she knew wouldn’t be the one she went to herself when she died. You could call it blind faith, but she was quite sure that there would be a place that would be alright for them too when their time came. Not that she had any wish to die just yet and especially not when their mission was to get their father back and all of them dying would obviously mean that they had failed.

“I’ll tolerate that chick flick moment, because you’re a chick,” Dean shook his head exaggeratedly before he amended, “And because it wasn’t all that chick flick-y.”

Hel raised an eyebrow at the older Winchester but then just chuckled in amusement.

They probably didn’t need anyone to hold a big speech, in the first place. They had just needed to break the uncomfortable silence, so none of them had too much time to think and to worry.

“How about, ‘None of you get your asses killed’?” Fenrir suggested. Even though the wolf had obviously made a joke, there also was something very serious in his tone. That they didn’t really have a plan other than trying to get Raphael down long enough to grab their father and run wasn’t all that comforting, but that wouldn’t count as an excuse for anyone losing their life.

“I second that,” Sam stated seriously. He still wasn’t happy with most of them even being present, but there was nothing he could have done against it. He also had to admit that their chances were better this way, but their chances of losing someone were bigger that way, too.

“The Winchesters,” Raphael’s voice reverberated through the warehouse, “I see you brought backup. I expected no less.”

The chances that the humans would come alone and unarmed had been pretty much nonexistent. In fact, the archangel might have been disappointed, if they had. That Castiel would be present as well had seemed like a given. The three abominations Gabriel had fathered were the icing on the cake. Raphael had no doubts how the confrontation would end. The others would soon see that everything was going exactly according to his plan.

“Where is Gabriel?” Sam demanded. He would have felt better, if he had had a gun to aim at the angelic bastard, but as things were he could only grip the holy oil Molotov cocktail tighter, hoping that it would make him look even a little menacing.

“Don’t worry. You will be with him soon,” Raphael replied casually, eying the weapon the younger Winchester was holding disapprovingly, “That really won’t do.”

The archangel’s words didn’t make much sense to the others at first. Their confusion didn’t lessen when he produced an angel blade seemingly out of thin air and tossed it toward Sam, so the human could easily catch it.

“What the-?” the younger Winchester only just managed to say before he disappeared.

“What did you do to Sam?” Dean yelled, glaring at the archangel. If looks could have killed, Raphael would have exploded into a million pieces on the spot at the very least.

The older Winchester knew that he wasn’t going to get an answer and to tell the truth he didn’t really need one, either. It had been his one big goal to make sure that Sam didn’t get his hands on Lilith under any circumstances and the angelic bastard most likely hadn’t had any troubles foreseeing that, so he had split them up. Chances were that his younger brother really was wherever Raphael had stored Gabriel, but the archangel would hardly be the only being he was going to encounter there. Dean pointedly avoided going so far in his thoughts as to doubt that his brother would avoid breaking the last seal at any cost. His best tries to silence the quite voice in his head pushing him to think of that possibility weren’t good enough, however.

Unbeknownst to the older Winchester, Castiel’s thoughts went into the same direction. The angel’s analysis went one step further, however. His brother had given an angel blade – hard to be sure, but most likely an ordinary one, taken from some seraph – to the younger Winchester which provided the human with an effective way to end Lilith’s life.

“You have other things to worry about,” Raphael stated, looking from one of his opponents to the next. The older Winchester was the only one of them who had a purpose to serve after this day was over, all the others were not only expendable but completely useless.  
Dean, Castiel, Hel, Fenrir and Jörmungandr immediately took their fighting stances again. It was true, they had their work cut out for them. They’d just have to hope for the best as far as Sam and Gabriel were concerned.

Because hoping for the best had always done so much for them before…


	36. Chapter 36

**36**

 

Dean knew that Raphael probably wouldn’t want to kill him. When Castiel had explained the situation to all of them he had stressed that both vessels were needed for the apocalypse to happen as it was supposed to. Not that that did anything to make the older Winchester feel better about the entire situation. Getting captured and being locked away somewhere awaiting the moment when they’d make him into an angel condom wasn’t better than death, after all.

Unfortunately, Dean was all too aware of the fact that he was nearly completely defenseless against their opponent as well. Sure, their entire team lacked any sort of weapon to really do damage to the archangel, but all the others had more or less meager means to protect themselves with. Being the one human in a fight between angels and part-angels really sucked.

Also, had he mentioned that Hel of all people had moved in front of him protectively? Yes, the one chick of the group was standing between Dean and Raphael. The older Winchester was man enough to admit that he wasn’t man enough not to be bothered by that just a little.

“I won’t tell Sam, if that’s what you’re worried about,” the goddess commented casually, never taking her eyes off the archangel who had yet to make a move against them.

“You’re only saying that, ‘cause you know one of your brothers will blab,” Dean huffed. To tell the truth, if they all – of course, including Sam and Gabriel – were alive by the end of this, he’d almost gladly take the mocking that might come after sharing that story.

The quiet before the storm had lasted nearly too long already and Raphael obviously thought so as well. The archangel took a few steps toward the group, giving each one of them a long look before he spoke.

“Resistance is futile,” Raphael stated matter-of-factly, “Surrender now and I’ll give you all quick and painless deaths.”

Dean was sure that he was excluded from that offer, but it didn’t look like any of the others were even thinking about taking it, anyway. Not that the older Winchester had expected anything else. He had known Castiel for quite some time it had become clear very quickly that the angel was a person who’d never bow to a cause he didn’t believe in. Dean might not have known the three pagans quite that well, but there was no doubt that every single one of them possessed a lot of integrity. While the older Winchester still wouldn’t turn his back to Gabriel without expecting the worst, he somehow had come to trust his children.

Dean hadn’t even finished his last thought before Jörmungandr started to laugh.

“You really know nothing about us Norse people, do you?” he asked Raphael, still chuckling. There was no chance any respectable Viking would have chosen not to go down fighting, if it was in their power to decide. His two siblings agreed wholeheartedly. They knew that they were part angels now, but that didn’t change the fact that they had grown up and lived among the Norse pagans for all their lives. If they could have chosen only one of their two heritages, it was no secret which one they would go with.

“You better bring it on before we die of old age,” Fenrir added with one of his wolfish smirks. This probably wasn’t going to end well for them, but waiting for the inevitable any longer wouldn’t change anything about that. Realistically, looking at the greater picture, they weren’t the ones having the important battle, anyway.

“As you wish,” Raphael sneered and just like that all hell broke loose.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam instinctively raised the blade that had been given to him when he was suddenly relocated. It took a few moments before he fully realized what had just happened to him, but as soon as his eyes and brain were cooperating again it became all too clear where Raphael had sent him. Even though the younger Winchester knew that he couldn’t kill Lilith under any circumstances, he still gripped his weapon tighter.

“Nice to meet you again, Sam,” the demon smirked, letting her eyes flash white for a few long moments, “Always delighted to have one of your loved ones at my mercy.”

If there had been any doubt that the rumors Raphael had told her about were true, it was gone the moment she had seen the younger Winchester’s expression after she had made her statement. The little affair the two men were obviously having would make it much easier to convince Sam to kill her against his better judgment.

Gabriel rolled his eyes dramatically, once more trying to at least get free from the gag Lilith had put on him earlier. The indignity of his position really knew no bounds. Alright, it might have been worse. He might have been without pants and with a stupid hat on or something alike on top of everything.

“Let him go,” Sam demanded in a dangerously low tone.

To mock him, the demon immediately grabbed a fistful of Gabriel’s hair and pulled his head back as far as it would go. The archangel couldn’t help the strangled noise that escaped him at the move. He quickly bit his tongue so he wouldn’t make any more sounds, however.

Gabriel was so close to breaking his bonds, he could feel the effect they were having on him getting weaker already. It wasn’t long until he could hopefully take care of all this, but everything would have been for nothing, if Sam gave in before he got free.

“Or what?” Lilith asked in a faked innocently intrigued tone, “I don’t think you are in a position to threaten me.”

After all, what would the human threaten her with? Death? That was what she wanted and they all knew it. He couldn’t turn around and walk away, either. Even if Sam could have brought himself to turn his back on his lover, there were still spells and good old locks making sure that he couldn’t simply leave.

“I won’t kill you, no matter what you do,” the younger Winchester stated with conviction. He knew what was at stake, he knew Dean, Gabriel and the others were counting on him having enough control over himself not to let the demon get to him. The problem was that he already felt the beginnings of niggling doubt forming. There was only so much he would be able to stand and he knew it. He could no more stand by and watch Lilith torture and kill Gabriel than he would have been able to do nothing while Dean was dying, if she hadn’t held him immobile at the time.

“Always with the useless promises, Sam,” Lilith exhaled soundly, clicking her tongue a couple of times for emphasis, “’I won’t kill you, even if you make me watch as you take him apart bit by bit.’ Reminds me of a time when you promised to safe your brother no matter what.”

Really, even though the demon had known that they couldn’t get started with the preparations for Lucifer’s return before Dean went to hell and broke the first seal for them, she had been nearly sorry that they hadn’t given the older Winchester a year or two more just so they could watch his brother run in circles trying to get him out of his contract a little longer. In fact, she was sure that the younger Winchester would have succumbed to his own dark side just from that given the time. Things were going to work out just the way Raphael and Lilith wanted them to either way, however.

“Shut up,” Sam basically growled, forcing his arm to stay down when it automatically wanted to raise the angel blade. He couldn’t take the first step toward attack or he knew he’d take the others as well.

“Do you remember? It’s been great fun watching the hellhounds-” the demon went on in a singsong tone and with all too obvious childish glee. She didn’t have hellhounds at her disposal this time around and it was highly doubtful that they would have been quite as successful with tearing the archangel apart as they had been with the older Winchester, but that still left her with a great many options, especially if the younger Winchester continued to refuse to cooperate.

“Shut up!” Sam yelled uselessly. The demon’s point about him not being able to raise a hand against her still stood. Technically, he could have hurt her as long as he didn’t kill her, but the younger Winchester knew that it was much too risky to kill her accidentally or – who was he trying to kid – to get carried away in the heat of the moment.

“What are you going to do?” Lilith asked once more, releasing Gabriel and stalking toward Sam with slow, deliberate steps, “You know, if you aren’t going to use that blade, I will.”

The archangel didn’t believe for a second that his older brother had given his own sword away. Sure, the blade the younger Winchester currently held could still hurt Gabriel, in his weakened state even hurt him severely, but it wouldn’t kill him. Unfortunately Sam wouldn’t know that, however.

The human tightened his grip on the weapon once more. His situation had just become worse and more hopeless once again. Not only wasn’t he allowed to kill Lilith, he also couldn’t let her get her hands on the angel blade. He hadn’t even finished that thought when a flick of the demon’s wrist sent him flying against the closest wall, however.

Lilith walked up to the younger Winchester, raising her hand to trap him against the wall with her powers when he struggled back to his feet.

“You can’t kill me,” Sam pressed through gritted teeth, barely managing to keep his hold on the angel blade. That at least was true, she couldn’t kill him any more than he could kill her.

“But I can do to him whatever I want,” Lilith whispered into the younger Winchester’s ear, reaching forward as if to take the blade away from him. Her hand closed around Sam’s wrist however, guiding his arm up until the tip of the weapon was touching her neck. He had to be the one to deal the blow on his own, but she could take the steps leading up to the main event out of his hands.

“You can do this now, or you can do this once you can’t stand hearing him scream and seeing him die slowly anymore,” the demon added, removing her hand from the younger Winchester’s arm, noticing with some satisfaction that he didn’t lower the blade, “3… 2…”

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel couldn’t deny that he was surprised at how well they were holding their own against Raphael, all things considered. He was pretty sure that they would run out of luck soon enough, but the attacks his nephews threw at the archangel while Hel did her best to keep Dean out of the line of fire were downright chaotic and seemingly uncoordinated which threw their opponent off enough to make his counter attacks less effective.

Unfortunately, Castiel hadn’t been able to launch any attacks himself yet, because he too had troubles anticipating what Fenrir and Jörmungandr would be doing at any given moment and so he was too likely to accidentally get in their way or even hurt one of them. He was moving along, trying to get a feel for their fighting style and waiting for the right moment to attack the entire time, however.

The one thing that was quite obvious was that the two pagans were trying to keep the fight away from their sister and the older Winchester as much as they could. As soon as Raphael noticed, he decided to up the game and focus his attacks into the direction of the human and the goddess. He didn’t have to actually get to them to make the moves the other two would have to take more predictable than they currently were.

Hel hardly managed to grab Dean and throw the two of them out of the way before the archangel reached them. The older Winchester had used the one perfect moment he got to embed the demon killing knife in Raphael’s side, trusting that the goddess would push him aside in time. He knew that the blow wouldn’t do much to the archangel, but it had to hurt at least. Dean still felt pretty useless in the fight, but at least he had done as much as he could have.

When Raphael charged them the next time, Jörmungandr slung his arm around the archangel’s throat from behind him, holding on just a moment too long which allowed his opponent to get a hold on him. He was more or less prepared to experience the pain Castiel had warned them about, if Raphael got his hands on them, but instead the archangel just threw him off his back, making him crash into the concrete wall.

Jörmungandr was still dazed when he realized what had happened. Fenrir had sunk his teeth into the archangel’s thigh, keeping his jaws firmly locked even as his body shook under the onslaught of Raphael’s powers.

Jörmungandr struggled to get back to his feet just as Hel got ready to charge, but Castiel beat them all to it this time. The angel threw himself against his older brother with enough force to dislodge Fenrir from Raphael’s leg as the two angels fell into a heap a few feet away. The wolf fell to the floor, staying completely motionless. Jörmungandr immediately changed course to kneel next to his fallen sibling while Hel followed Dean to Castiel’s side.

“Nobody would-“ Raphael said, shock apparent in his voice as he lay on the floor, the angel blade his younger brother had been carrying lodged firmly in his chest.

“Gabriel did,” Castiel replied, noticing with grim satisfaction that those words made the archangel’s eyes widen a little more in shock. He extracted himself from his fallen brother just as Dean reached them and just a moment before white, blinding light announced Raphael’s demise.

“It takes an archangel’s blade to kill an archangel. Gabriel gave me his,” Castiel explained, “We were hoping to have the element of surprise on our side like this. Unfortunately, it didn’t work the way it should have.”

Dean nodded absentmindedly, checking his angelic friend over for any sort of injury. It was only when he was convinced that Castiel was alright that he let what he had just heard sink in. The angels had had a plan B when they had first gone to speak to Raphael and while it had failed them completely the first time around, it had been invaluable in the end.

“Fenrir!” Hel suddenly exclaimed, turning on her heels to run back to her own injured – she refused to think of the alternative – brother.

The wolf was still lying on the floor motionlessly. The goddess nearly sobbed in relief when she got close enough to see that his chest was rising and falling, however. It only took a moment more before she was kneeling next to him, stroking over his head carefully. She wasn’t exactly sure how much time passed until the wolf opened his eyes, but it couldn’t have been nearly as long as it felt, because Dean and Castiel had only just reached them when it happened.

“Odin couldn’t taste worse,” Fenrir heavily slurred his first words, hardly managing to lift his head off the floor. His sister promptly assisted him, putting his head into her lap.

Both Dean and Castiel let out a deep breath. The older Winchester even chuckled, the leftover adrenaline from the fight making him feel just a little lightheaded but also lighthearted. Of course, there still was the greater problem of Sam being somewhere with Lilith and having the means to off her which she’d surely encourage with all means possible. Another issue only occurred to Dean a moment later. “Where’s Jörm?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Last chance, Sam,” Lilith stated, letting her eyes turn white again as she looked directly into the younger Winchester’s eyes.

Gabriel had hoped that he would get just a few minutes to gather his strength once he managed to break the sigils on the handcuffs, but it looked like none of his plans could work out as they should these days. As things were he doubted that he had even seconds to spare.

Sam was completely focused on Lilith, the world around them becoming nothing more than a hardly existent background for their confrontation. The knowledge that he couldn’t kill the demon had become harder and harder to hold on to as the hopelessness of the situation had increased. There was no getting away here. Even if he let Lilith kill Gabriel, she’d only go and find new ways to force his hand. There was no winning and if there was no way to win then he could at least cut the losses.

Before the younger Winchester could move a muscle Lilith was forcefully pulled away from him. The angel blade clattered as it fell out of his hand and onto the floor. The shame over what he had nearly done was quick to catch up with Sam, but he pushed it away. He’d have time for some self-loathing later. They still had a job to finish here.

“Why don’t you give uncle Gabriel a hug?” the archangel suggested in a cold tone. He had slung his arm around Lilith’s shoulders, giving the demon little room to move. Before she could even attempt to attack him, he slammed his palm against her forehead.

Gabriel’s damaged grace painfully protested against being used this excessively, but he didn’t let up until he had the demon and the human soul inside Callie’s body completely separated from each other. He couldn’t do much to safe the kid’s life, but he could make sure that she got an express ticket to heaven, at least. The demon wouldn’t be as lucky. Gathering his grace together enough to eradicate the damned thing once and for all hurt like he was being torn apart all over again and he wasn’t quite sure what the long time effects of his actions would be, but this had to end here.

Sam had to close his eyes and turn away when blinding white light engulfed both Gabriel and Lilith. It only lasted for a few moments and when the younger Winchester turned around again the demon’s host body was lying on the floor motionlessly while the archangel swayed on his feet.

“Woah,” Sam exclaimed, hurrying to catch Gabriel before he hit the ground as well, “Are you okay?”

The archangel seemed conscious at least, even though killing Lilith had obviously taken a lot out of him.

“Yeah… No… not really… but it was worth it,” Gabriel gave a lopsided grin, squeezing the younger Winchester’s hand for a moment. He wasn’t even in that bad a shape, all things considered, it really could have been worse.

The archangel barely had time to realize that his second born son had arrived before he suddenly felt a very painful pull on his grace. Gabriel gritted his teeth, his back bowing as he tried to fight the sensation, but in the end he had to succumb to it.

“Gabriel!” Sam called out, alarmed. The flash of light hadn’t been quite as intense as the one before, but the archangel’s body was completely limp in his arms. Jörmungandr came to kneel next to him instantly, checking his father’s vital signs. When Gabriel’s eyes began to flutter Jörmungandr quickly pressed his hand against his forehead and forced him back into unconsciousness, however.

“Why did you do that?” the younger Winchester demanded in a sharp tone.

“He is not… he is not inside,” Jörmungandr explained tonelessly, “It’s an empty vessel.”

Unbeknownst to them, Dean had only just been quick enough to catch Castiel before the angel had collapsed, as well.


	37. Chapter 37

**37**

 

It had been a long time since Gabriel had been in his true form. In fact, he hadn’t been in Heaven for about as long, either. Strangely, he found that he actually preferred his human form. After being in a vessel for as long as he had, being a pretty damn big creature consisting mainly of raw energy and light felt too unrestrained, really.

Yes, he really wanted to get back to Earth and into his usual body. It helped that there was absolutely no way he could get it on with Sam in his true form and boy had he been looking forward to doing exactly that once they made sure that Lucifer stayed locked up. Of course, he also wanted to get back to his children and to his life in general and to triple chocolate cake.

Next to him Castiel looked completely confused which didn’t make much sense until Gabriel remembered that the seraph probably had been able to pick up on his general thought process now that they both were in their true forms. He really needed to get used to guarding his thoughts again.

The archangel huffed out a laugh – or what passed for one among angels – and gave the best impression of a shrug being a figure made out of light allowed him to. Excuse him for having a bit of a scrambled brain after everything that had happened to him very recently!

Castiel basically radiated worry until Gabriel allowed his damaged grace – boy did that show once the vessel had been stripped off and he was basically all grace – to give Castiel’s the equivalent of a comforting shoulder bump. He’d be back on top of his game soon enough. In fact, the archangel could already feel how his grace was healing itself. He’d just need some time which hopefully he’d get in the nearer future.

It looked like they’d have to deal with something else before that could happen, however.

“Mikey, if you want us to shiv your ass too, you could at least give us a little time to recuperate first,” Gabriel commented casually, “A day or two, seems like common courtesy.”

Then again, they weren’t going to win in a fight against Michael no matter how well rested and prepared they were. The eldest archangel was the strongest one of them and he had been the leader of all the soldiers of Heaven for a very long time. Not to mention that there was no way that they’d even have the element of surprise on their side as things were, so yes, if Michael was looking for a confrontation they were completely and utterly screwed.

“You have grown since we last saw each other,” the other archangel replied in a much more respectful tone than his brother had spoken with. The Gabriel he remembered would have never dared to address him like that, but Michael was somewhat pleased by the changes his brother had gone through. He clearly had become stronger, after all.

“Have you seen my vessel?” Gabriel joked which failed to get a laugh out of either Michael or Castiel. Thinking about it, he really should have chosen his crowd better before trying to crack jokes. At that point it seemed like a pretty good guess that the other archangel didn’t want to smite them, but they still had to clear a few things between them. “Why did you force us to come up here? And how did you do it, anyway?”

Yes, Michael was the oldest and most powerful of the archangels, but he still shouldn’t have been able to pull that off. Hell, if he had possessed that kind of power, he could have forced Gabriel to come back and fight before he had even reached Earth when he had first run away.

“You were greatly weakened which made it even possible,” Michael admitted and while he was already at confessing he added, “I have been watching you for a while now. Both of you.”

The archangel had been following his brothers’ steps as much as he had been able to, anyway. They had stayed hidden even from him for some parts, but he had seen enough to know that they had teamed up with the Winchesters and had defeated both Raphael and Lilith. Most of the other archangel’s extracurricular endeavors with the Norse pagans had been revealed to him that way, as well.

“Thanks for all the help then,” Gabriel huffed before he added a little conciliatorily, “But honestly, thanks for not working against us.”

Hey, you had to be grateful for small mercies sometimes. Like the archangel was grateful for the fact that his grace was healing pretty rapidly now that he was back in Heaven and in his true form. Then again, that was hardly a small mercy, it was a pretty big thing.

“With all due respect,” Castiel spoke in a much more formal tone than the two archangels had used between them before, “Which side are you affiliated with?”

“None of them, I am merely watching,” Michael answered, giving his full attention to the seraph for the first time. He had been impressed with Castiel at various points in time, but having Gabriel back in front of him for the first time in about a millennium had distracted him.

“You realize that this is about you too, right?” Gabriel asked incredulously, “Apocalypse, that big fight between you and Lucy, ring any bells?”

It wasn’t like Michael had decided to stay out of a fight that didn’t concern him. Raphael had set things into motion that eventually would have forced the oldest archangel to take action, as well. It would have made sense for Michael to either want Lucifer to walk free so they could have their final fight or for him to want to prevent exactly that from happening. It would have even made sense if he hadn’t really known what was going on, but him just watching and being more or less indifferent to the outcome just sat wrong with Gabriel.

“Whatever is meant to happen will happen,” Michael stated somberly, “You postponed it, so it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Oh bullshit!” Gabriel retorted immediately and with enough force that Castiel gave off slightly alarmed vibes, “What do the others say about all this newly found wisdom of yours? Oh, let me guess, you haven’t spoken to any of them lately, you are just watching.”

Alright, the archangels had never mingled with the seraphs all that much, but with Lucifer in his cage, Gabriel gone and Raphael preparing to go on a crusade Michael might have jumped over his own shadow and searched for some contact among the others. Apparently not. Of course, the archangel’s self-imposed isolation explained a lot, especially since the younger archangel suspected that it had been going on for a very long time.

“Goddammit Michael, all this stopped being about a higher plan when dad left us. The only plans there are anymore are those we make,” Gabriel ranted on, ignoring that both his brothers winced because of the blasphemy, “That’s what got us into this entire mess with Raphael in the first place!”

The archangel had been their father’s messenger for a long time and he knew what God’s orders sounded like. He knew the way His plans were worded and what Raphael had done had felt nothing like it. His brother might have had his reasons for his actions, but they hadn’t had anything to do with some godly plan.

“Then why is it so wrong in your eyes for me not to make any plans?” Michael wanted to know. He had moved closer to his two brothers after it had been clear that there was no hostility between them. Being close to his wounded brother was meant to help the other archangel heal quicker, but he couldn’t deny that being this close to the others was making him feel good in ways that he hadn’t felt in a very long time, too.

“Can you blame me for hoping that at least one of my older brothers isn’t a total fuckwit?” Gabriel shot back not quite as scathingly as his words might have suggested. He was disappointed and didn’t see a reason not to show it, however.

“Raphael’s plans have failed and I don’t intend to pick up where he left off, neither do I intend to take any other kind of action against you or yours,” Michael replied in a nearly soft but definitely puzzled tone, “Isn’t that what you want?”

The slight reassuring push against his grace did nothing to lift the archangel’s confusion, either. He had meant to give his brothers good news, but they obviously hadn’t been pleased. However, Gabriel had just given him a comforting push. Being in direct contact with others again was hard, but Michael began to dread the moment when it ended and he would be on his own again all the same.

“What about Heaven?” Castiel asked in a surprisingly demanding tone, “We have always had someone’s orders to go by. Breaking free of that is… very hard and painful. You cannot leave them all without assistance! The chaos is going to be unimaginable!”

What good was it that they had managed to stop Raphael, if Heaven would go up in flames because of it? It was quite likely that Earth was going to suffer greatly, if it came that far, too. Some angels were bound to try and hide there and that would inevitably take some battles to Earth as well. Not to mention that there sure were enough angels left who didn’t think of humans as anything more than mud monkeys or who blamed them for everything that had gone wrong.

“Would you like to help your brothers and sisters?” Michael suggested, reaching out toward Castiel with his grace to show the seraph how serious he was about the offer. He could easily give the angel the authority to lead other angels, if he wanted to have it.

“Yes,” Castiel answered without having to think about it. If the other angels had to get used to the idea of the system they all had been living with this far nearing its end then he wanted to assist them in any way he could.

“Cassy, you just landed yourself quite the job,” Gabriel chuckled before he turned a little more serious again, “You’re going to help him, right?”

Between the three of them Michael was the leader every angel had heard of, but none of them had seen in a very very long time, Castiel was a rebel with new ideas that would surely be scandalous to quite a few of the others and Gabriel was the archangel who had run away at a time when they would have needed him dearly. Either one of the two archangels would have had a hard time to make themselves heard by the heavenly host, but Castiel on his own hardly stood a chance.

“Only, if you help me,” Michael replied. He reached out toward Gabriel once more, letting his grace embrace his younger brother to show him how important this was to him. There had been no real companionship between the archangels ever since Lucifer had fallen, or a while before that already. Only the two of them were left as things were, but Michael believed that they could move things into the right direction, if they worked together.

“As long as it’s only a part time job. I’ve got other things to do, too,” Gabriel agreed, hugging his brother back, “Actually, it’s about time we got back into our vessels. You know, before the Winchesters storm Heaven and demand you release us.”

It might have been a joke, but knowing Sam and Dean there actually was a chance that they’d attempt something like that. As if on cue, Gabriel felt a part of his grace resonating with an impulse that hadn’t come from Heaven. A smile spread over his face as he concentrated on the feeling. Yes, it really was high time they returned.

“You will have to go alone,” Castiel sighed, “Jimmy is refusing to let me back in, I can feel it even now.”

 

* * *

 

 

After Sam and Jörmungandr had taken Gabriel’s vessel and had met up with the rest of their group again they had decided to go to Bobby’s house to await the return of the two angels.

The younger Winchester wasn’t sure why Hel had come to the conclusion that there was no harm in letting Jimmy Novak wake up after Castiel had left his vessel, but he was sure that at least Dean wished that the goddess had made a different decision. To be fair it had to be said that at the time Hel had been busy tending to her severely wounded brother. Also, Jimmy didn’t seem like a bad guy and he wasn’t even exceptionally unreasonable. It was just too bad that what he wanted obviously didn’t go with what they – especially Dean – wanted.

“I get it, I do,” Jimmy allowed, looking back at the older Winchester exasperatedly, “From what I’ve gathered Castiel really is one of the good guys. And I get that you want him back, too.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand what the angel meant to Dean and to the others, it wasn’t that he didn’t think that Castiel was a good guy and should be able to walk the earth, if he wanted to. The problem was that the angel only could do that in a vessel and while Jimmy had willingly agreed to let Castiel use his body before the things he had experienced during that time had changed his opinion.

“But do you have any idea what it’s like to be a vessel?” Jimmy asked, raising an eyebrow, “Look, I really don’t want to tell you horror stories, but let’s just say it’s not exactly pleasant. I agreed to assist Castiel on his mission, but the mission is over now and I’ve done my duty.”

He hadn’t exactly been aware of the things that had been going on around him while Castiel had been in control, but he had been able to gather bits and pieces and put them together. It wasn’t like he had had anything better to do. What they… what the angel had done had helped to prevent the devil himself from getting free and had saved the entire world from a catastrophe like it had never seen before. Jimmy knew and acknowledged that, but the fight was over now for all they knew, so he thought he was in the right to demand his own life back.

“The mission is never over, believe me, I know,” Dean commented, shrugging apologetically. Judged by his experience the next crisis was around the corner already, they only didn’t know what exactly it was going to be yet. And no, the older Winchester absolutely wasn’t trying hard to come up with a justification for why Jimmy should do something that Dean himself wouldn’t do willingly in a million years.

“Do you also know that I have a wife and a daughter?” the other man shot back, becoming quieter as he spoke on, “I put all this over them.”

“And it was the right thing to do,” Dean stated with conviction. They’d have been pretty screwed without Castiel, even though things had turned out quite differently than they had first believed they would. Who would have thought that they’d have to fight against angels just as much as against demons at the beginning of this? Hell, who’d have thought that they’d team up with a bunch of pagans and with the Trickster of all people? Not to mention that Sam… yeah, Dean wasn’t going to go there.  
“At the time, yes,” Jimmy agreed with a sigh, “But as I see it, it wouldn’t be now. It’s my body and I’m keeping it.”

Sam wanted Castiel back just as much as the others did, but he had to say that Jimmy had a point. Then again, they didn’t even know yet, if the two missing angels weren’t engaged in battle again already. They’d only know for sure once they returned. If they returned…

The younger Winchester sighed and decided to leave the two men to their discussion that might turn out to have been pointless from beginning to end once they knew what exactly had happened to their angelic companions. At least, it gave Dean something to do other than worrying about Castiel and it probably distracted Jimmy from all the ‘what if’s concerning his family, too.

Jörmungandr had insisted that Fenrir needed a calm and cozy place to recover and after Bobby had been done damn near throwing a fit over his panic room being re-decorated with fluffy pillows and blankets the older hunter had been appeased by the offer of the two pagans telling him stories and answering his questions. Sam supposed that that could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

The younger Winchester’s way led him upstairs to the spare bedroom, however. Entering the room he nodded toward Hel who was sitting next to the bed, looking at the man who right now wasn’t her father. Sam figured that knowing that for the moment being the man in front of them technically wasn’t even Gabriel was strange for the goddess as well, anyway.

Hel smiled slightly and patted the younger Winchester’s shoulder before she left the room. It was enough if one of them kept watch and she really wanted to see what her two brothers and the others were doing. It was bound to be more interesting than watching a guy she didn’t even know sleep, but leaving him all alone hadn’t felt right all the same.

“I… uh… honestly, I have no idea if this is how this even works. You really have to explain that to me when you get back,” Sam said once he had taken a seat on the edge of the bed and had taken the vessel’s hand gently, bringing it in contact with the handprint Gabriel had put on his hip, “I just… you said this connection between us won’t go away until one of us is dead and… that mark you gave me? It’s a strange thing really, ‘cause it feels like it is and isn’t a part of me at the same time and that feeling didn’t go away, so I’m thinking that means you’re still around… somewhere.”

Honestly, he had no idea if he could even establish a connection between them and if he could, he didn’t know if what he was doing was the way to go. He really hated how many unknown variables there were about the entire situation. Doing whatever little he could do didn’t exactly make him feel any better, however.

“Your kids are keeping your vessel asleep, by the way. They say he hasn’t been awake in so long that he’d probably have a heart attack or something the moment he became aware of things. You should explain how that works once you get back, too. Actually, just come back,” Sam’s voice cracked toward the end of his speech, “Please, Gabriel, come back.”


	38. Chapter 38

**38**

 

Sam wasn’t entirely sure how long he had been sitting on the edge of the bed Gabriel’s vessel was sleeping in. He had tried very hard not to think about the fact that the man in front of him basically just was a Jimmy Novak of another time period, however. Honestly, the moral implications of that on top of everything else were just too much to deal with.

The younger Winchester had only just leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of the other man’s face when his eyes suddenly snapped open. Sam had just enough time to wonder if he should call Hel to put him back to sleep before the shorter man sat up, wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

“Gabriel?” the younger Winchester breathed once he got a chance to speak. He really didn’t think that the archangel’s vessel would have nothing better to do than kissing him silly, if he woke up for the first time in ages, but he needed to know for sure, anyway.

“Did you expect someone else?” Gabriel asked with an amused smirk, throwing the blanket off his body so he could get more contact. After being tortured for a day and then spending some time as a not completely corporeal being he felt a little cuddly, but it didn’t look like Sam was going to complain about that, anyway.

“I… uh… sort of feared that your vessel might…” the younger Winchester tried to explain, ending his statement with a meek shrug. In fact, he had feared that he would have to face Gabriel’s vessel. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how he would have reacted, if the man had told him that he absolutely didn’t want to be a vessel anymore like Jimmy had done with Dean. After everything they had been through, losing Gabriel simply wasn’t an option to Sam. Hell, he had come close to killing Lilith and breaking the last seal just so he could at least keep the archangel with him while the world around them burned. It clearly hadn’t been one of his proudest moments and he still felt bad about it, but he couldn’t change it all the same.

“Samsquatch, no offense, but kissing you senseless wouldn’t have been quite as high up on his list as it was on mine,” Gabriel replied teasingly. Not to mention all the other things he wanted to do to the younger Winchester once they got the chance. There were other things they had to deal with first, however. It looked like these days there was always something else that was higher up on the list, not because it was more pleasant or subjectively more important but rather because it was objectively more important. Duty be damned, as soon as he got the chance Gabriel was going to snap a cabin in the Swiss Alps or somewhere in Norway into existence and then they were going to take an extended vacation.

“It’s not like you ever told me anything about him,” Sam shrugged. He hadn’t thought of learning something about the archangel’s vessel as very important before they had met Jimmy Novak to be honest, but now it just seemed like there were a few things he should know. The younger Winchester had to admit that he was a little afraid that he was going to hear things he wouldn’t like too much, however. He wasn’t completely sure how he would deal with hearing that the man Gabriel walked around in was as much of a reluctant vessel as Jimmy was.

“Mhm, that was on your list of things I need to explain,” the archangel agreed, running his fingers over the side of Sam’s neck. The idea about going on vacation was starting to sound better and better. They’d also get a chance to talk about all the things that undoubtedly were on the younger Winchester’s brilliant and curious mind that way. It wasn’t like they couldn’t just zap back to the US within seconds, if the world needed saving once more.

“So, you heard that,” Sam smiled, leaning into the touch. Good to know that he had chosen the right way to try and communicate with the archangel, even though he really hoped he wouldn’t need to use it exactly like that ever again. He’d very much prefer it, if Gabriel stayed in his body in the future, after all.

“Every word,” the archangel confirmed, leaning in until their noses were nearly touching, “Hurried back as fast as I could.”

Their lips met in an unhurried kiss that grew more passionate as the seconds ticked by. In the end, Gabriel was straddling Sam’s lap before they even parted to breathe. The younger Winchester leaned his forehead against the archangel’s as they both panted, trying to get their breathing under control again.

“As much as I hate to say it,” Gabriel sighed after a few long moments, “There are other items on the to-do list, too.”

 

* * *

 

 

Silence had fallen over Bobby’s living room after Jimmy and Dean had decided that they really didn’t want to speak to each other anymore.

The older Winchester hated the fact that the other man was – for all they knew – preventing Castiel from returning, but he had to admit that it was unfair to expect the man to give up his own life completely just so Dean could have his friend back.

While Jimmy suspected that those things were going through the older Winchester’s mind, the reason for his somewhat angry silence was a different one. He only wanted to get back to his family as quickly as possible, but he had been forbidden to make contact just yet. What really annoyed him about the situation was that he had to admit that Dean had been right when he had said that they should be certain what was going on and what was going to happen before he dragged Amelia and Claire into it.

So the two men were sitting on the couch and armchair respectively, every now and then throwing a glance at the other. The silence was clearly loaded, but neither one of them wanted to break it either.

In the end, Gabriel was the one who spoke the first words in minutes. “Be greeted, mere mortals, I have returned!”

Next to the archangel Sam shook his head with an ever so slightly amused snort. While the caring, gentle and attentive Gabriel was the one he loved, he couldn’t deny that the archangel’s trickster side could be quite amusing, too. At least, it was when he didn’t take it too far.

“Oh great, of course _he_ doesn’t have any problems waltzing back,” Dean groaned. To be honest, he was quite glad that at least one of the angels had made his way back and he was happy for his brother, but it’d still take quite some time until he would be able to openly acknowledge that having Gabriel around wasn’t among the worst things that had ever happened to him. It didn’t help that the archangel’s return most likely meant that Castiel could have returned as well, if Jimmy hadn’t been stubborn, which was in his good rights because it was his body after all, even if Dean wished that things were different, which wasn’t exactly nice of him for the aforementioned reasons of Jimmy having the right to decide over his own body. Yes, the entire situation was maddening!

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Dean-o,” Gabriel replied nonchalantly, “Castiel is fine. Michael is on our side and gave him quite the promotion. Soon as he comes to an agreement with Jimmy-boy, he’ll be back down here, too.”

Jimmy wasn’t entirely sure if he had just been threatened in some way, but he gave the archangel a defiant glare, anyway. The only understanding he and Castiel were going to come to was that he had the right to pick up what was left of his life. Unless of course there were yet unknown reasons that spoke for saying yes once more, but the way Gabriel had spoken didn’t make it sound like they had an emergency of apocalyptic proportions on their hands yet again. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the amused smirk the archangel threw back at him, but it looked nonthreatening enough.

“We’ll have more time to talk later,” Gabriel decided, “After I check on my poor wounded puppy.”

Once the archangel’s grace had been mostly healed he had been able to detect all three of his children which had been a relief, but he had also noticed that Fenrir was in pain. Luckily, his son was clearly getting better, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to check for himself.

“Fine, but your ass has a lot to answer for!” Dean stated in a demanding tone. It was good to know that they were at peace with Heaven for the moment being, but there were still a lot of things that needed to be addressed. Most of all, they really needed to find a solution to Castiel’s problem, whatever that solution might be in the end.

“Am I still a ventriloquist, if I talk with my-?” Gabriel wondered. He never got to finish his statement before Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the staircase leading to the basement, however.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hiding Thor’s hammer,” Fenrir snickered which really took away from his next words, “Worst. Idea. Ever.”

Luckily, Thor had never found out who had been behind the prank, so there hadn’t been hell to pay for it, but it had been pretty damn close.

Hel wasn’t exactly sure how speaking to Bobby Singer about more or less ancient lore had turned into a recollection of the most stupid pranks they had ever pulled on someone, but it seemed like the lighthearted topic distracted her oldest brother from his still aching bones and muscles, so she was all for it.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hel retorted, “What about spreading ‘dog’ hair all over Kali’s stuff?”

True, enraging Thor was a spectacularly stupid idea, but as far as bad temper was concerned the Indian goddess was giving him a run for his money. Actually, the three of them had never understood what their father had seen in her. Then again, they couldn’t have seen that much in each other to begin with, because the relationship had been rather short lived.

“Hey, she was acting like a little bitch, she deserved it,” Fenrir huffed.

To tell the truth, before Sam had entered their lives they had only seen their father every now and then, but even that had been too much for the goddess. After Kali had openly sneered at Fenrir’s pacifistic nature, the wolf had decided to show her that he still was the son of one of the greatest tricksters ever. Hel, of course, had helped to the best of her abilities while Jörmungandr had been their lookout. His brother might have acted like he couldn’t care less about their father’s personal life and who he was dating, but he had jumped at the opportunity to piss Kali off just a little too quickly to make that claim believable.

“She damn near skinned you alive,” Jörmungandr commented with a slight smirk. Pinning the entire thing on Fenrir had admittedly not been that hard, considering that the wolf had rolled around on all of Kali’s clothes she had left at their father’s place, but he had taken it like a real man – in wolf form – and hadn’t ratted the other two out.

“Worth it,” Fenrir chuckled, gingerly getting up from his bed made out of a bunch of pillows and blankets to rest on his other side for a while.

Bobby wasn’t sure what he had expected when he had started to talk to Hel, goddess of the Norse underworld, Fenrir, the great wolf and Jörmungandr, the world serpent, but they clearly were the Trickster’s children, no doubt about it. Hard to explain why he found all of them quite likeable, though.

“No whoopee cushions in this house,” the hunter stated seriously, giving all of them a look, “And if I ever see any of you near the bathroom with cellophane…”

The threat was left hanging like that, but the way all three pagans stared at Bobby in silence for a moment before they started to laugh heartily told him that he might just have given them ideas. Oh well, how much worse than a young Sam and Dean having a prank war around the house could it get, really?

Hel was at her father’s side the very second the panic room door was opened, hugging him tightly. There had been no real doubt in the goddess’ mind that her father was alive and would eventually find a way to return, but the waiting time had been hard nevertheless.

Bobby was tempted to say how lucky the Trickster was that his children hadn’t taken after him too much and thus had made a pretty good argument for their father being allowed under his roof. Seeing how relieved they, and that included Sam, were to have Gabriel back made him hold his tongue, however. Instead he just grumbled something about too many people and too little space and left to see how Dean was doing with not-Castiel.

“Careful, you’re squeezing the grace out of me,” the archangel joked, rubbing his daughter’s back for a few long moments until she was ready to let go again.

Jörmungandr only nodded toward his father, he was smiling slightly, however. He might have had to reconsider some things recently, but that didn’t make jumping over his own shadow that much easier. Gabriel took the gesture for what it was and smiled back, anyway.

“You look like you bit off more than you could chew,” the archangel commented, sitting down next to his oldest son, stroking his fur. Healing other angels or in this case a three-quarter angel wasn’t quite as easy as healing mortals, but since his grace was working with full power again it was doable.

“I had a craving for chicken wings and only Raphael was around,” Fenrir quipped, moving closer to his father. He felt a little better already, but that didn’t mean that he wanted the contact to stop just yet.

Sam considered leaving the panic room as well for a moment. He was beginning to feel like he was invading on family time, but before he could make a move Hel put a hand on his shoulder. The sign was clear enough and the younger Winchester couldn’t help feeling good about the fact that they obviously accepted him completely.

“There’s something I should tell you all,” Jörmungandr suddenly spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention to him, “I put a tracker on Sam.”

“You what?” Sam asked, instinctively patting himself down. If that tracker still was on him, it wasn’t in his clothes. He had changed those after they had gotten back, after all. Chances were that the other man hadn’t talked about anything he would be able to find by himself, however.

“I put one on Dean, too. Just in case we got separated and look what happened,” Jörmungandr added with a light shrug.

“Okay, point taken. You did the right thing at the time,” Sam replied conciliator, “But please tell me you removed them again!”

The younger Winchester wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the smirk on Jörmungandr’s face, but he supposed it didn’t matter too much, either way. One, or all of Gabriel’s children knowing where he was at any given time wasn’t exactly the worst thing that could have happened and history had already shown how useful something like that could be. However, Dean would most likely throw a fit about it, especially if he heard that they could follow his every step, too.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Hel snorted amusedly, “That was pretty obvious after you just disappeared and reappeared with Sam and dad.”

Granted, she had been busy tending to Fenrir’s wounds to the best of her abilities at the time, but that didn’t mean that she hadn’t tried to locate the younger Winchester or their father. Both of them had been too well hidden to be found just like that, however.

“You’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first,” Jörmungandr stated in a smug tone, crossing his arms in front of his chest before he spoke on more seriously again, “What I’m trying to say is that I had to decide, if I’d tell you about it, or if I’d keep it to myself.”

To tell the truth, he had had every intention to let his siblings in on what he had done at first, but then he had put it off until things went haywire and he hadn’t had the chance anymore. Of course, the final decision against bringing Hel with him when he had zapped himself to the place where he knew the younger Winchester was being held, even though he had had no idea what he would find there exactly had been made later still.

“After what Raphael did to Fenrir I just… I couldn’t bring you into another fight,” Jörmungandr admitted, “I just wanted to keep you safe, even if things might have gone wrong and you all would have been mad at me forever afterward.”

After he was finished speaking Jörmungandr sought for eye-contact with his father. He might not have been in the same spot Loki had been in when he had decided to let the death of their mother go, but he had a better understanding for it as things were, anyway.

Sam smiled when Gabriel left Fenrir’s side to hug his second born tightly. The way Jörmungandr squirmed because of it didn’t make the scene any less heartwarming, but it added a funny edge to it. It also reminded the younger Winchester of his own brother’s rule about chick flick moments and manly hugs, too.

It took all of them by surprise when the light suddenly started to flicker. Moments later the entire house seemed to vibrate ever so slightly.

“We should go upstairs,” Gabriel suggested in a calm tone, “Castiel has opened the negotiations.”


	39. Chapter 39

**39**

 

By the time Sam, Gabriel, Hel, Fenrir and Jörmungandr had made their way to Bobby’s living room the shaking of the walls had mostly stopped, but instead a loud, high pitched sound that was nearly painful to listen to even from a distance filled the room. Sam pressed his palms against his ears which brought the noise down to bearable levels. Of course, neither Gabriel nor his children needed that sort of precaution. Interestingly enough, Jimmy was completely unaffected as well, however.

“You really might have taken that conversation outside,” Gabriel commented. Castiel’s true voice wasn’t meant to be heard by just any humans, after all. The archangel had to give his brother credit for doing his best to speak in an angelic whisper, though.

Jimmy gave Gabriel a pointed look and shrugged.

“Ah, gotcha,” the archangel smirked, raising his voice a little to make sure that the older Winchester could hear him over the booming noise that was still filling the room, “Looks like you made a not exactly powerful but crafty enemy, Dean-o.”

As much as Gabriel approved of pranks like this he still took mercy with the other humans and snapped his fingers to give them earplugs. They wouldn’t prevent them from hearing everything, which they undoubtedly wouldn’t want to begin with, but they would dull the sounds enough to protect their ears.

“Is that Cas?” Dean asked, speaking more loudly automatically because he had troubles hearing his own voice, “What’s he saying?”

Knowing that there was an important talk going on, but being unable to listen to it, or rather understanding it, was awfully frustrating, especially in this case. This was going to be about whether Castiel would be able to return to them and Dean very much wanted to be able to at least voice his thoughts on the topic.

“He’s missing you terribly and promises to be back in your arms within the day,” Gabriel replied completely seriously. He couldn’t help laughing loudly when Dean’s face first turned a shade paler before the hunter obviously caught on and became annoyed instead.

“And that would work?” Jimmy suddenly asked out loud. He had been listening to Castiel explaining what he thought was the solution to their problem attentively, but he couldn’t honestly say that he completely understood what the angel wanted of him.

“What are they talking about?” Sam asked this time, knowing that he had better chances to get a serious answer from Gabriel than his brother did. Besides, he was really curious to know what was going on and what exactly had put that very thoughtful frown on Jimmy’s face.

“Castiel suggested that they should try to create a duplicate,” the archangel explained, frowning. Of course, both of them being able to walk the Earth simultaneously without it affecting the other would be the ideal solution, but there were a few things that Castiel hadn’t mentioned and those had to be heard first, too.

“Does that mean you could have done this from the start?” Jimmy asked with a hint of annoyance. The angel really could have spared them both a lot of grief, if he had just made a clone or whatever the right word for it actually was all those months ago.

“What he didn’t mention, Jimbo, is that there is a chance that you’ll go boom in the process,” Gabriel stated matter-of-factly, “Cassy, do us a favor and let us talk among corporeal beings for a minute or two.”

Sam couldn’t be sure but he thought that the next wave of sounds was somewhat different from the last. Actually, the fact that Jimmy was holding his ears as well all of a sudden pretty much confirmed his suspicions that another angel had joined the talk.

“That’s good to know, Michael,” Gabriel confirmed what his older brother had just said, “But I still suggest we spare the human’s ears for a few minutes.”

If he was being completely honest the archangel would have to admit that he hadn’t always been big on the entire informed consent business, but it had grown on him and it might be worth introducing to Heaven as a whole. But he was getting ahead of himself. They luckily had work to do on a much smaller scale here.

“What the hell was that all about?” Dean demanded to know as soon as the room had become quiet again. His ears were still ringing a little, but even if he hated to admit it, the earplugs the archangel had given to him had helped.

All the others looked interested in the answer to the older Winchester’s question, as well.

“Mikey wanted to make sure that we know he’s going to have a hand in this too, if Jimmy-boy agrees,” Gabriel explained, “Should make things safer.”

Hel, Fenrir and Jörmungandr had made themselves comfortable on Bobby’s couch in the meantime. It wasn’t like they had a lot to say on the topic, but they didn’t like being left out of the loop, anyway. Besides, hearing two of their uncles speaking in their true voices had been interesting to say the least. They hadn’t even known, if they would be able to stand purely angelic voices before, but apparently they did, even though understanding what exactly they were saying wasn’t all that easy to them.

“Creating a duplicate doesn’t sound like something that should possibly…” Sam began to speak before he ended with a vague exploding motion of his hands, “What exactly is the plan?”

“Okay, first of all, for all I know this hasn’t been done in a very long time, but it is possible,” Gabriel replied, looking at Jimmy more than at any of the others, “Basically, Cas gets back into him and then splits him into two, so he can withdraw from version 1.0 and still have a version 2.0 all for himself.”

Of course, the entire process was much more complicated than he had just made it sound, but there was no good way to efficiently explain it. He was pretty sure that the things he had said should be enough to get across why this could go wrong in a heartbeat, anyway.

“Call me crazy, but it still sounds good to me,” Jimmy finally spoke, sounding a little nervous but still convinced of what he was saying, “This entire madness will be over for me that way.”

Gabriel nodded, biting the comment about it being over one way or the other back. The chances for success were pretty damn good with two archangels being around to help and the angel who’d do the greater part of the work caring for the wellbeing of his human vessel a lot, there was no need to make it sound more dangerous than it was. Informed consent didn’t mean making sure that Jimmy was panicking over off chances before he could agree.

“Did you hear that, Castiel? Do it already!” Jimmy exclaimed before anybody else could say anything, “Yes!”

In the end, it was his decision to make and he had made up his mind pretty much the second he had learned that it was possible to keep control over his body while still allowing Castiel to get back to Earth. Granted, he had doubted for a moment when Gabriel had mentioned that it might be risky, but the risk didn’t seem too great. It wasn’t like they had another possibility to let both him and Castiel have what they deserved, anyway.

The archangel moved to stand closer to Jimmy who was once more acting as his brother’s vessel. Of course, he saw the angel inside the vessel quite clearly, but even if he had been limited to human vision, it wouldn’t have been that hard to tell Jimmy and Castiel apart. While the human wasn’t exactly laid back, he still was nowhere near as stiff as the angel. And that was only to name the most obvious difference between the two.

“You ready?” the archangel asked. He didn’t think that his brother would consider not sticking to his part of the deal and simply keeping Jimmy’s body while he already had it even for a second, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to go through with it immediately. Apparently, he did, however.

“I believe so,” Castiel replied decisively. Everything important had been said already and with two archangels assisting him he had no doubts that he would have enough time and occasion to be in contact with the others after they were done.

“Everyone human out of here,” the archangel ordered just a moment later. Of course, both Winchesters and Bobby were much too stubborn to simply take a command like that, however. “Alright, but close your eyes and don’t peek, if you want to keep your eyes.”

Gabriel made sure that they had at least followed that friendly suggestion before he stood next to his brother. He took one more moment to let Michael know that he was going to care for the human through all this, so Michael knew that he was meant to give Castiel a helping hand when he needed it.

The process didn’t last long, but it was excruciating to both the angel and his vessel. Essentially, Castiel was splitting Jimmy’s very being apart cell after cell, healing both halves, so they were left with two complete ones and then separating them into two beings. While Gabriel did his best to make sure that Jimmy’s half got put back together perfectly, Michael tended to Castiel’s side. Between the two archangels doing their thing and Castiel having to bare a lot of his grace in the process they were creating quite the lightshow in the older hunter’s living room.

The final step consisted of Castiel pulling away from his original vessel and inhabiting the duplicate he had just created instead. It ended with the blinding white light receding and two identical versions of Jimmy Novak staring at each other in fascination. Actually, in this case Jimmy was the one of them who was more baffled for once.

“Huh,” Dean commented, breaking the stunned silence that had fallen over the room, “Okay, I say Cas stays on the right and Jimmy on the left until we figure out a way to tell you two apart.”

Having both of the identical men turning around at once to give him a quizzical look was as hilarious as it was strange. It wasn’t like the had been completely serious about his suggestion, so the exasperated way Jimmy shook his head before taking off his trenchcoat was completely uncalled for.

“Guess I won’t wear that anymore,” Jimmy concluded, handing the coat to Castiel just in case he’d ever want or need a replacement for the one he was still wearing. Despite the pain he had had to endure to create the other version of himself he was content with the way things had worked out this far. Of course, getting as much as possible of his old life back would be the hardest part and it was yet to come. Making sure that being Castiel’s vessel wasn’t an issue anymore had been the necessary first step that ensured that whatever effort he’d put into reaching his ultimate goal wouldn’t be in vain, however.

“Just try to keep our face off national television,” Jimmy added on an afterthought. Everything that had happened to him would be hard enough to explain to his family without Castiel showing up on the TV screen ever so often. As far as he knew they had managed to stay out of the focus of the public this far though, so he shouldn’t have asked for the impossible.

“Aww, we were going to sign him up for American Idol!” Fenrir stated in faked disappointment. The very thought of their stiff and socially awkward uncle on that show made the wolf snicker and apparently his siblings were imagining the same thing he was, because they were laughing, too. Castiel, of course, only looked puzzled.

“I am going to return you to your family now,” the angel announced, reaching for the human’s forehead. Flying was the fastest and safest mode of transportation Castiel could think of and it stood to reason that the other man would want to be returned to his home as quickly as possible. Apparently, he had misjudged the way humans, or at least this specific human, viewed things, however.

“Wait!” Jimmy exclaimed, raising his hands defensively, “Thank you for the offer, but I’d rather not make a great entrance like that.”

Okay, he could have asked Castiel to drop him off on the front lawn instead of transporting him directly to the living room, but Jimmy had the feeling that he’d need a little more time to figure out what exactly he was going to tell his family. Using quite literally any form of travel other than flying angel-air would give him that time.

“Any chance that you’d appreciate being accompanied by the goddess of the Norse Underworld, the great wolf and the world serpent? We’d like to see how this story ends,” Hel asked with a small grin. It wasn’t exactly surprising that Jimmy looked more horrified than happy about the offer, however.

“Alright, we’ll drop you off,” Dean decided. It was about time that he and Sam got back on the road, anyway. They didn’t have a hunt lined up yet, but something would come up sooner rather than later for sure. Not to mention that it would be good for Jimmy to have someone with him who could confirm his crazy story before his relatives got to call the men in white to drag him to the closest loony bin.

“Know what, Dean-o? I’ll lend my bro to you for that mission, if you lend me yours for another _mission_ in the meantime,” Gabriel suggested, waggling his eyebrows as if his words hadn’t given his intentions away clearly enough, anyway.

“Do I get a say in this?” Sam asked before his brother could voice the thought that were undoubtedly going through his head. The way Dean shuddered while pulling a disgusted face said what he thought of the suggestion clear enough.

“No,” the archangel retorted immediately, “Thinking about it, he doesn’t, either.”

Neither one of the Winchesters got the chance to protest before Gabriel snapped his fingers and he and Sam were gone within the blink of an eye.

“Son of a…”

 

* * *

 

 

“You realize that you can’t just kidnap me every time you feel like it?” Sam wanted to know. The fact that he couldn’t even bring himself to sound the slightest little bit annoyed in combination with the way he was baring his neck to Gabriel’s lips made more than clear that his disapproval was more a matter of principle than anything else, however.

“And you realize that between the two of us we’ll have to make good use of every calm minute we can get?” Gabriel shot back amusedly, starting to unbutton the younger Winchester’s shirt. Yes, there had been some talking about more or less important things on the to-do list as well, but they could always talk afterward and if it had to be they could also talk with Dean or any of the others around which wasn’t true for the things that were on the forefront of the archangel’s mind that moment.

Sam didn’t even bother with the obligatory protest, however weak it might have been to begin with, anymore and instead made sure to keep up with the discarding of clothes. Gabriel was right, after all. They all led rather chaotic lives and while they overlapped enough to make sure that they could see each other regularly, being alone with each other was a different matter entirely.

The younger Winchester wasn’t entirely sure how the archangel did it, but somehow Gabriel always managed to get him into the position he wanted him in without Sam even realizing he was being moved around before it was done already. In this case, he was lying on his stomach on the comfortable bedspread covering the big wooden bed that fit into the cabin the archangel had transported them to this time. He really had to have a thing for cabins in woods, not that Sam was complaining about that. It suited him better than some five star hotel room, anyway.

“How do you always manage to be this tense?” Gabriel clicked his tongue, simply rubbing the younger Winchester’s back with his palms for a few moments before he started to knead and rub in earnest. Sam being wound too tight most of the time had one positive thing going for it, however. Watching him getting all relaxed and slack really was a sight to behold.

“That’s really good, Gabe,” the younger Winchester sighed contently before he added in a more teasing voice, “I don’t see why _you_ have to be naked for this, though.”

The archangel chuckled, leaning over Sam’s back and starting to trail kisses over the muscles he had massaged into relaxation just moments earlier. He didn’t think that the younger Winchester honestly expected an answer to his question and even if he did, his actions should speak for themselves. Inching his hand lower and lower, Gabriel made sure that the only tension that crept back into Sam’s body was of the anticipatory kind, keeping him pliant for the few minutes the archangel needed to make sure that his lover was thoroughly prepared.

Gabriel might have initially planned to say something like ‘Does that answer you question?’, but the way the younger Winchester canted his hips toward him in invitation changed his mind about that very quickly. Less talking, more action it was.

The archangel kept a tight grip on Sam’s hips as he positioned himself and then rocked forward steadily until they were once more joined. Gabriel made sure to keep his thrusts deep and the rolling of his hips slow. The younger Winchester’s sweet little gasps and moans soon encouraged him to pick up the pace, however. When the archangel felt himself nearing completion he made sure to put his palm over the handprint he had left on Sam’s hip, letting his partner feel exactly how he made him feel. The younger Winchester couldn’t have held back for a moment longer, if he had tried, after that.

“Next time I’m introducing you to my favorite kink,” Gabriel promised, drawing lazy circles on Sam’s chest while the human was still trying to catch his breath. To be honest, with Sam the archangel enjoyed the cuddling after at least as much as the sex itself which couldn’t have been said for all or even most of his previous partners.

“Chocolate sauce,” Gabriel elaborated when the younger Winchester didn’t say anything and just propped his head up to look at him quizzically.

“Figures,” Sam finally commented, shaking his head fondly.

It was a fact of the Winchesters’ lives that there always was some crisis waiting around the corner and the archangel had a lot of work waiting for him in Heaven, but that very moment they were both too content to even remotely care about that.


	40. Chapter 40

**40 Epilogue**

 

“Gabriel!” the little girl yelled happily, jumping into the archangel’s arms.

Gabriel smiled widely, catching her and spinning them both around a couple of times before he set her back down.

“Hey kiddo,” the archangel replied, patting the girl’s head before he took her offered hand and let her drag him toward the backyard of her house. They had been through that routine often enough that he knew exactly what was going to happen, but that didn’t keep him from enjoying his visit.

Finding Callie’s Heaven hadn’t been half as hard as Gabriel had feared it might be and he couldn’t say that he was all too surprised that the girl was living in an endless birthday party for the time being. At least in this version of her memory her entire family as well as all her friends were around, there were games to be played and cake to be eaten and of course there was that one thing that seemed to be most important to the young girl.

“Daddy rented a pony for me!” Callie exclaimed excitedly, pointing toward the animal that was currently feeding on some hay.

She informed the archangel about that little detail with the same kind of enthusiasm every single time he was visiting her, but Gabriel saw no reason not to play along. The great thing about Heaven was that it was like an endless dream, suspension of disbelieve included. The things people did and didn’t remember very much depended on their own preferences, as did the way time passed for them or the selection of the memories they were going to live through again. Of course, the entire thing was steered by the subconscious mind for most people. There were however very few who had managed to catch on to how these things were working and who had conscious control over the way their own personal Heaven looked.

The archangel couldn’t deny that he had been happy that Callie had recognized him immediately when he had first found her, but he was just as happy that she didn’t seem to remember where she knew him from. The good impression he had obviously left with her had stuck, but the awful circumstances hadn’t.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” Gabriel stated in an awed tone, “I’m so jealous, I’ve always wanted a pony.”

The delighted expression on the girl’s face never failed to make the archangel feel pretty damn good about himself. Actually, just seeing her happy and carefree was enough to do that.

“You can ride it later,” Callie promised, “It has to eat now.”

Gabriel nodded dutifully and allowed the girl to show him around and introduce him to a few people she thought he should know. In fact, he knew who most of them were already, but one of the things that always changed whenever he visited was who exactly Callie thought was worth introducing that day and what stories she was going to tell about them later on.

After a while the girl felt that she had to get back to her friends and to the pony, so Gabriel took a seat at one of the garden benches around and simply leaned back to watch. This time around he didn’t get the peace and quiet he got at that point most of the time, however.

“Of all the Heavens, you always visit this one,” Michael pointed out, sitting next to his brother on the bench.

Gabriel shrugged, looking over to the other archangel, prompting him to go on talking. He obviously had meant to say something more with the statement, so he should just go ahead and speak his mind.

“Are you feeling that guilty about her death?” Michael asked, cocking his head in imitation of the gesture Castiel was so fond of whenever he didn’t understand something. Yes, the leader of all angels in Heaven was copying gestures from one of the little brothers he hadn’t even bothered to get to know until a few weeks earlier.

“There was nothing I could have done differently under the circumstances, so there is nothing to feel guilty about,” Gabriel answered with a small smile. It had taken a while until he had been able to fully convince himself of that, but his children and Sam had helped him with that. Seeing for himself that Callie really was doing great in Heaven had helped as well.

Michael nodded satisfied and looked around himself, taking the scene that was new to him in completely. He had been in contact with Castiel and Gabriel frequently during the past weeks and he had made great progress with reaching out toward the other angels, but he had yet to make contact to any humans. Not that he was in a hurry to make that happen. One step at a time.

“If you’re here already,” Gabriel spoke after allowing his brother some time to simply process the scene before his eyes, “What’s our official opinion on nephilim?”

There was no doubt what his own personal opinion on the topic was and always would be, but knowing for sure how Michael was going to handle these matters in the name of Heaven would be good. He had to know if he still had to keep his children away from the other angels, after all. Especially now that at least Fenrir and Hel had expressed an interest in seeing Heaven and getting into contact with a few more of their aunts and uncles.

“The power they hold due to their parentage makes them dangerous. Creating them cannot be encouraged,” the oldest archangel answered seriously, before he amended, “However, recent revelations have brought it to my attention that nephilim have the same potential for good and evil as the rest of us and so I am thinking that every case has to be judged individually.”

Gabriel looked back at his brother astonished before he patted his shoulder proudly. He really had come a long way already

“Having cleared that up, I would like to meet my niece and nephews,” Michael added a moment later, “Castiel speaks of them very fondly.”

In fact, Castiel was splitting his time between accompanying Dean and Sam on hunts, spending time with his niece and nephews and organizing things in Heaven with Michael these days. Gabriel joined them ever so often, but he seemed less willing to commit great portions of his time to the cause, so Michael and Castiel were mostly working together as a pair. The oldest archangel had to admit that the seraph could give him very valuable insights into a great many things and even when their talks were purely personal for a while Castiel had a lot of interesting things to share. As much as his two younger brothers enjoyed being around their humans and their family, Michael couldn’t help wishing that he could do the same, even though he wanted to direct his attention toward his heavenly brothers and sisters mostly for now.

“Pretty sure that can be arranged,” Gabriel agreed. Hel and Fenrir wouldn’t need much convincing to come along to Heaven to meet their uncle some time soon. Jörmungandr would want to accompany them on the second visit the latest for sure, if he didn’t decide that he wanted to come along immediately just to make sure he could keep a watchful eye on Michael.

“Hi,” Callie suddenly addressed the oldest archangel, “Who are you?”

She wasn’t afraid of the newcomer in the slightest, but since there were only people she knew around she was curious to learn who he was.

“That’s Michael, he’s my brother,” Gabriel answered when his brother didn’t show any signs of wanting to introduce himself, “Michael, meet Callie, she’s the birthday girl.”

It was perfect timing that Sam chose to contact his partner that exact moment to let him know that Dean was taking Castiel to a bar and that he was alone at the motel and had the evening off. Gabriel grinned mischievously when he stood up and put a hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to go,” the archangel told the little girl, “Sammy is all alone at home and he can’t go to sleep when I’m not putting him to bed.”

Gabriel couldn’t be sure, but he thought that the corners of Michael’s mouth twitched. He was pretty sure that there’d be a completely different expression on his older brother’s face the moment he finished his little joke, however.

“I’ll see you soon,” the archangel promised seriously before he gave Michael a light shove and added, “I’m sure Mikey will like to ride the pony instead of me.”

The somewhat panicked look on the oldest archangel’s face when the little girl squealed delighted and pulled on his hand to get him to come to the pony with her was enough for Gabriel to break into a fit of laughter that lasted until he had already landed on Earth.

 

* * *

 

 

“I visited Callie earlier,” Gabriel stated, drawing mostly meaningless Enochian symbols all over the younger Winchester’s naked chest. They had been lip locked pretty much the entire time since he had appeared at the motel room, so there hadn’t been much talking involved. Being cuddled up on the bed happy and satisfied gave them the perfect opportunity to discuss how their days had been, however.

Sam propped his head up to look Gabriel in the eye but didn’t say anything. It didn’t sound like he was meant to reply, anyway. At the start, mentioning the girl had made the archangel sad. The younger Winchester had always been quick to reassure him that he had done the right thing and that she was probably better off in Heaven during those times. Luckily, it had turned out that he had been right and Gabriel had gone from sad over mentions of the girl to just casually talking about the last time he had visited her.

“No worries, Samsquatch, I am not ready to share you with a kid,” the archangel added with a small smirk. He knew that the thought hadn’t been on his partner’s mind before he had brought it up, but that was part of the fun.

“That’s good to know,” Sam replied, clearing his throat. He would be lying if he said that the thought of having a more domestic life with Gabriel had never crossed his mind, but he had never seriously considered it all the same. In fact, he wasn’t sure if he was even ready to consider it just yet.

Things were working perfectly the way they were and even though Gabriel’s children were adults and had been for a long time they still talked about them as ‘the kids’ and they had too much fun speaking of uncle Dean. So, in a way, they already had their family together, anyway.

“Besides, there’s the chance you’d never get your figure back,” the archangel commented casually, drawing lazy circles around Sam’s belly button.

It obviously took a moment until what he had just heard sunk in, but when it did the younger Winchester looked completely scandalized. When Gabriel started laugh loudly and heartily it only took one moment for that look to transform into one of his completely not amused bitchfaces.

“That’s not funny!” Sam ground out, nearly throwing the archangel off him with a hard shove against his shoulder. Stupid jokes were something he had had to get used to having Gabriel around as much as he did, but that didn’t mean that he had to take everything without telling the archangel exactly how unfunny whatever he had just said or done was.

“The comment? No,” Gabriel agreed before he laughed again and added “The look on your face? Oh yes!”

“Let’s see how funny you think it is when I cut you off for a week or two,” the younger Winchester threatened, trying to withdraw from the archangel which wasn’t that easy since Gabriel was still half on top of him. Not that Sam was putting up that much of a fight to begin with.

“I’m sorry,” the archangel mumbled against his partner’s neck, nibbling on it the way he knew made him melt every time, “And I won’t do it again.”

Sam huffed out a laugh. It was a lie and they both knew it. Gabriel could no more stop making stupid jokes like that than he could keep himself from playing mostly harmless pranks on Dean whenever he annoyed him. Even though the younger Winchester wouldn’t say it out loud, he was okay with that, too. All these things were a part of who Gabriel was and Sam loved him for it. It helped that the archangel was too good at turning his brain to mush so that he could never stay mad at him.

Later that night, when they were once more lying side by side, the younger Winchester closed his eyes, feeling the archangel’s warm breaths against his neck, allowing the warmth and contentment to lull him to sleep.

All in all, Sam’s life hadn’t changed that much. They were still killing things, saving people, the family business. The family had become considerably bigger however and there was no doubt that that was a good thing.


End file.
